My Best Friends Kid
by 5t4c3y
Summary: Edward Cullen and Bella Swan are best friends. They’ve went through everything together. Divorcing Parents, Psychotic teachers, Bitter Break-ups, and now something that neither ever thought would happen...Parent hood! Full Summary Inside ExB
1. You've Just Become Parents!

**A/N: Hi guys. OK, this is my first ever 'Twilight' fanfic. I read the books and watched the movie, and ended up completely falling in love with it. Seriously, Stephanie Meyer should have written a warning at the beginning of the book 'May cause teenage girls to fall in love with fictional characters'. Lol. Anyway, like I said this is my first 'Twilight' fic. I've written a lot for 'Step Up' and 'CSI:NY', so this whole fantasy thing is a bit new for me, but I really hope you like it.**

**Summary: Edward Cullen and Bella Swan are best friends, and have been since they were two years old. They've went through everything together. Divorcing Parents, Psychotic teachers, Bitter Break-ups, and now something that neither ever thought would happen...Parent Hood! Yep, that's right. When Edward and Bella are paired up together to look after a 'baby' for sex-ed, will their friendship fall, or become so much more? (AU, All Human, OOC) **

**Pairings: Edward/Bella, Alice/Jasper, Emmet/Rosalie **

**Rating: T**

**Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I own nothing *cries* It all belongs to amazing Stephanie Meyer.  
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_**Edward's POV:**_

I sat staring at the clock, tapping my pencil of my desk as my History teacher, Mrs Michael's, prattled on about something to do with some old guy with bad hair, who died a long time ago. In other words, a load of crap that I would never need to know about in real life. I rested my head in my hand, sighing deeply as another minute passed. Four more and then freedom. Looking down at the lined paper in front of me, which was covered in little drawings, I began to draw some more, but quickly lost interest and focused all of my attention back on the clock hanging on the badly painted wall. Five...Four...Three...Two... BRING!!!! Giving a smile and a sigh with relief, I quickly grabbed my books and headed out into the halls, which were quickly filling with students who were headed to the last class of the day. I wasn't more than five feet out the door however when I heard the nasally voice of Mrs Michael's behind me, calling me back into the room that I had just escaped from.

"Mr Cullen..." She called above the noise "Would you mind coming back here so I could have a word with you?"

Closing my eyes and giving out a deep sigh, I slowly turned round and made my way back into the class room, taking a seat on top of one of the front desks as Mrs Michael's stood in front of me with a raised eye brow, her arms crossed over her chest as she gave me the look to say 'Ass on seat, not desk'. Rolling my eyes, I stood up from the desk and sat in one of the uncomfortable seats behind it. It felt like 3 hours had passed before she had actually decided to say something, and part of me was wondering if I had done anything wrong or if she was just trying to think of something to blame me for.

"I would like to discuss the essay you wrote on World War II Mr Cullen." She began, walking over to her desk and pulling out my badly crumpled essay, waving it like a flag.

"What's wrong with it?" I asked a little confused.

I had handed it in on time. Wrote the necessary amount of words, and made sure that I hadn't gotten the dates for WW I and WW II, mixed up like I had last time. What could be wrong?

"Well..." The old hag began, opening up the essay and looking at it unimpressed "For starters you forgot to put your name on it."

"Wow..." I said sarcastically "What a crime...can I go now, I'm going to be late for my next class."

"Not just yet Mr Cullen. "She carried on, her nasally voice becoming more and more irritating by the second "Let me read your first line..." She cleared her throat, a disgusting sound of phlegm being cleared ringing in my ears "Back in the olden days when guys were short, smelled bad and had comb over's, there was this dude who hated all these people and caused a war to happen."

She closed the paper, her eyes glaring at me before she slowly turned to face the chalk board. OK, so I could see her point. Maybe it wasn't the most...intellectual paper I had ever written, but I was bored, and like I had said a thousand times before to my father, 'When am I ever going to need this stuff in real life?'. I watched as the small woman picked up a piece of chalk and began to write random stuff on the board that I was apparently supposed to know, and it just became worse when she began to narrate everything she was writing. Grumbling silently, I buried my face in my hands.  
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_**Bella's POV:**_

I was so late that it wasn't even funny. Math's had went fine, but on the way out I tripped over Mike Newton's big feet and went flying, knocking over one of the scariest girls in the school. I ended up hiding from her for about ten minutes, and now, thanks to my clumsiness, I was late for sex-ed. Probably one of the easiest classes that you could take, but still, it was fun. I was running down the halls when I rounded into the history department, the annoying voice of Mrs Michael's soon invading my delicate ears. Ugh, what poor soul had she kept behind this time to lecture to? Slowing my pace, I stopped outside her class room, peering in through the glass window on the door only to see Edward Cullen, my best friend and next door neighbour, sitting at one of the desks repeatedly hitting his head off of the top desk as Mrs Michael's wrote on the chalk board about World War II. Ah...She had seen his history essay. Now I didn't know who I felt sorry for. Edward for having to listen to her ramble on, or Mrs Michael's for being subjected to his writing skills.

Sighing, I rolled my eyes and knocked on the door, causing the short woman to turn and look at me. Motioning for me to come in, I couldn't help but see the glint of hope in Edward's eyes as I entered. Shooting him a quick smile, I turned to look at the boring teacher.

"May I help you Miss Swan?" She asked, pronouncing my surname as if it was in a foreign language.

"Yes..."I began "Mr Cullen has a phone call at the office. It's his Mom. She says it's rather urgent and must speak with him now."

Tutting, and lowering her chalk, Mrs Michael's gave Edward a rather pissed off look before giving him permission to leave. I don't think I have ever seen him grab his belongings and race out of a room so fast in all my life, because the next thing I knew, I was being dragged down the hall by the arm, Edward stealing glances behind us every now and then to make sure that the wretched woman wasn't watching us.

"Oh my gosh, Thank you!" He exclaimed, slowing his pace and releasing me when we turned round a corner "Seriously, I love you right now."

"I know." I said happily with a smile "But you owe me big time for this. I can't keep lying to get_ you _out of trouble."

"Aw, c'mon." He said with a smirk, draping an arm over my shoulder "It's fun, and it's a tradition. I'm the one who gets into a shit load of trouble, and you're the one who comes to the rescue. That's the way it's always been."

"Yeah, well now we're both going to get into a shit load of trouble, because we are 15 minutes late for sex-ed."

"Then let's skip the rest of the class, and head to the diner." He suggested, which I must admit, sounded very tempting.

"We can't." I grumbled "Alice said that we had to go today because apparently Mr Barry has a special assignment for us today which counts for half our grade."

"That sucks." Edward said as we came to a stop outside the door.

Holding his fist out in a ball, Edward looked down at me.

"Rock, paper, scissors." He stated "Loser has to say why we're late."

Rolling my eyes, I copied his actions.

"One...two...three." I said, a small smile spreading across my face when I saw I won "Ha! Paper covers rock. You're telling."

Grumbling, Edward opened the door and we walked in, only for Mr Barry to turn and glare at us. I wonder what stupid excuse Edward would use this time. He never stuck to the truth.

"Mr Cullen! Miss Swan" Came the booming voice of our teacher "Would one of you care to explain why you are late for my class?"

"Someone was choking in the hall." Edward said smugly "We stopped to save them."

I rolled my eyes and tried to suppress a laugh as Mr Barry gave us a 'Yeah Right' look before ushering us to take our seats. His excuses were becoming more bizarre every day, and the sad thing was, there were a couple of girls who actually believed him! They gasped at the sound of someone choking, whispering amongst themselves that Edward was a hero. They soon began to discuss how brave he was for saving that poor person and eventually their conversation moved to how good looking he was.

OK, so I wasn't going to deny it. Yes Edward was my best friend, and no I didn't see him as anything else, but I had to admit. He was incredibly hot. What, with His bronze hair and piercing green eyes. Every girl wanted him...and some guys too. I was envied by loads at the fact that I was constantly with him.

I continued to get lost in my thoughts, picking up little snippets of some of the girls conversation about Edwards 'Hotness', when I was snapped back to reality by Mr Barry's loud voice.

"Right class!" He began. Ugh, did he have to shout everything? "Since we are all here now!" Looking at Edward and I "I would like to present you with your new project. You will be split up into pairs, and to some people's enjoyment, it will all be boy/girl pairings."

There were a few 'whoops' throughout the class as girls giggled, looking at Edward dreamily. How desperate could they get? I mean, I loved Edward, don't get me wrong, but he was a player, and they knew it too, but still, they didn't care. I focused all of my attention back to what the teacher was saying.

"I will be choosing your partners for you however." He said with a smile, causing groans.

"Mind telling us what the project is?" Came the voice of one of my good friends, Emmett.

"Of course." Smirked Mr Barry, pulling a white sheet off of a crate of eggs which sat on his desk "Congratulations...You've all just become parents!"  
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_**Edward's POV:**_

Parents! We were becoming parents! I can't even cook an egg let alone look after one! Ugh...I hope I'm partnered with one hell of a girl. I looked over at Bella who was sitting next to me, surprised to see her look excited. She quickly turned in her seat to face Alice, Emmett, Rosalie and Jasper, and pretty soon; all three girls were going on about babies! They were deciding on names! Star signs, genders! It was breakfast, not a child. Rolling my eyes, I turned in my seat to face our friends, Jasper and Emmett looking a little at what their girlfriends were planning. Even if they weren't partnered together, they would be roped into helping them. Boy was I glad that Bella and I were just friends.

"Is yours going to be a boy or a girl Bella?" Alice asked, obviously being very serious.

"A girl duh." Bella said with a smirk.

I don't think I had ever seen her get so excited about something this...girly before. She was a bit of a tomboy. Didn't wear a lot of make-up or care about what everyone thought about her, and the thing I liked most was the fact that she wasn't constantly throwing herself at me. Sure we had been friends for 16 years, but that didn't mean that she couldn't make a move. She was a beautiful girl, and I just hoped that when I actually did settle down or try to get a serious relationship, it would be with someone like her.

"You do know it's just an egg?" I asked, snapping out of my thoughts "I mean, boil it and you've got yourself a nice little snack there."

"Jeez Edward." Bella said with a smirk "I sure feel sorry for the poor mindless idiot who'll end up being the mother of your egg."

"Miss Swan!" Came the booming voice of Mr Barry again.

"Yes?" Bella said, turning round.

"You and Mr Cullen. Partners."  
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_**Bella's POV:**_

Ok, I had nothing against Edward being my partner. I mean it would be easier since I know him very well. He's constantly at my house or me at his. I do stay there a lot...but the guy knew NOTHING about children. Seriously. We were looking after one of our neighbours kids once, and he put the diaper on the wrong way, ripped one of the sticky tags off of it and in the end, when we picked the baby up, it just fell to the floor.

Class went by quite quickly. Alice and Rosalie were happy that they got paired with Jasper and Emmett, so at least we could all hang out together without any strange new visitors. I waited outside the classroom by the lockers as some of the girls tried to talk to Edward, holding our 'baby' in my hand. When he finally emerged with a group of blonds following him, I quickly grabbed him by the front of his shirt and dragged him away, much to their disappointment.

"Hey!" He said, trying to glare at me.

"Please." I laughed "You were not listening to one word that those girls were saying, were you?"

"They were talking?" He asked, draping an arm over my shoulder again, taking the egg from me.

"Hmm." He said, holding it up "I don't see the resemblance. You sure it's my baby?"

I laughed, snatching our child back.

"Shut up." I said, leaning into his side a little.

We received some looks from people, but that always happened when we were seen walking like that. Everyone thought we were dating, and all Edward and I could do was laugh at that. I mean there was no way that we would end up together. Was there?  
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**A/N: So what did you think? Sorry if it's boring. Please R&R and tell me if it's crap or good. Thanks :o)**


	2. Sleepover!

**A/N: Wow guys, thanks to everyone who reviewed, favourite and alerted this story. I'm glad you like it :o)**

**Ok, so I got a review asking if Edward and Bella are virgins in this fic. The answer is, Bella is, but I'm not too sure yet if Edward is.**

**In the last chapter, Bella saved Edward from the wrath of the evil Mrs Michael's, they were both late for sex-ed, but found out that they are becoming parents to an egg for a school project, and they so happen to be paired with each other...and...That's about it :o)**

**Hope you enjoy this chapter :o)  
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_**Edward's POV:**_

After school was over, and Bella and I had met back up with Emmett, Rose, Alice and Jasper, the six of us made our way to the diner, a daily ritual which consisted of us stuffing our faces with hamburgers, French fries and of course a large shake, before I quickly raced against time (probably breaking every road law possible) to get Bella safely home before her father came home. Simple. We all sat at our regular table by the window, getting strange looks from passer buyers at the sight of the three eggs sitting in front of us. Giving a frustrated sigh, I picked up my 'Child', rolling my eyes before Bella snatched it back up.

"Nuh-uh." She said, holding it close to her chest "You do not get to hold this egg unless you are surrounded by lots of soft things for it to land on."

"Why do you have so little faith in me?" I asked with a slight smirk as the waitress sat our food in the middle of the table, giving me a little wink before she left "How long do we have to look after this thing for anyways?"

"Forever!" Emmett cried "A week and we need to do everything for it."

"Wow." Rosalie said in a sarcastic tone "Not like a real baby at all."

We all laughed at Emmett's sullen expression as he muttered 'shut up' to his girlfriend.

"But the good thing is." I began, sitting back in my seat, leaning my arm over the back of Bella's "_Unlike _a real baby, when we drop this one, we can get another straight from the fridge."

I smiled, receiving a laugh and nod from Jasper and Emmett, but the death glare from the girls.

"Don't talk about your child like that!" Bella cried.

"Man Edward, you're really going to make a _great _dad one day.

I couldn't help but laugh at this, and obviously, neither could Emmett and Jasper, who were soon wiping tears of laughter from their eyes.

"Me!?" I asked in disbelief "Parenthood!? You have got to be kidding. I'm never going to have kids. Too much trouble."

"You mean you're never actually going to commit to anyone long enough to have a child with?" Bella asked, taking a sip from her shake.

"You say that like it's a bad thing."

We sat and talked for about half an hour, laughing and joking around, Rosalie, Bella and Alice talking about the 'baby's', coming up with names for them. Turns out I have a daughter named Calleigh, Emmett has a daughter named Michelle and Jasper has one named Julie. Gee...sure is funny how we all ended up with girls. I glanced at the clock, my eyes going wide at the time.

"Shit. Bells we gotta go." I said, pulling her up.

Sighing, she got up. We said our goodbyes, and were soon seated in my comfy Volvo, Bella busy changing stations on the radio. I knew she hated having to go home earlier than all of us, but since Charlie, her father, was the chief of police, he wanted her back before dark. He was quite over protective, treating her more like an 8 year old than an 18 year old sometimes. I mean the only guys that could hang around with her were me, Emmett, Jasper and her friend Jacob Black who lived in La Push. Thankfully I didn't see much of him. I knew he had a crush on Bella, and I didn't really like it. She was too good for him. I was just thankful that she had sense and said 'no' to his requests for a date.

"So, how are we going to do this?" Bella asked, turning to look at me "I mean we need to take turns doing the feeding and changing..."

"Bells..." I said cutting her off, a hint of laughter in my voice "Please tell me you know it's an egg. I mean you're talking about feeding food here!"

"Yes, I know it's an egg..." She answered with a smirk, rolling her eyes "But it also counts for a big part of our grade and I for one would like to pass the class, so answer the question."

"Well...Your bedroom window is across from mine." I began "Why not throw it over when it's my turn and I'll throw it back."

She just glared at me. I sighed as I overtook a car. My dead grandmother could drive faster than the idiot in front.

"Why don't we just take turns staying at each other's place?" I stated.

It shouldn't be a problem. My parents...not my real parents, Carlisle and Esme, loved Bella. They were always happy to see her over, often saying that they would love it if I was more like her. We continued to talk about how to look after 'Calleigh' throughout the week, and before we knew it, I had pulled up outside my house. Getting out the car, Bella and I walked over to her house, just as Chief Swan was pulling into his own driveway.

"Hey Kids." He greeted us as we walked up the stairs onto the porch "How was school?"

"Hey Mr S." I said with a smile.

"Hi Dad." Bella greeted as we made our way into the small house "Dad..." Bella began, obviously a little nervous "I was wondering... Would it be alright if I stayed at Edwards for a few nights this week, and he stay here?"

"What nights?" Charlie asked a little confused.

"Well...tonight I was going to stay over there." She said.

"It's a school night B." Charlie stated, making his way into the kitchen closely followed by us.

"I know Sir." I began, helping Bella out a little "But it's for a class."

"What class?" Charlie asked, a little sceptical.

"Sex-ed." I stated with a smile, his eyes going wide when the words left my mouth.

My eyes soon went wide in realisation.

_Damn Cullen! Think before you talk!_

"Not like that!" I quickly said, holding my hands out in front of me and backing up behind Bella "We were given an egg in class today, and we've to look after it like a parent would its baby. I mean we wouldn't be doing anything like that, so you wouldn't have to worry. I mean I don't think of Bella in that way. Kinda gross actually." He glared at me "NOT...that I don't think she's not beautiful. She's very attractive... just...please don't shoot me."

"Edward. Stop talking." Bella said, never looking away from her Dad "So Dad is it OK? It's for a grade."

Charlie was silent before sighing, running his fingers through his hair.

"...Alright I suppose..." He said, causing both of us to smile "But Cullen...You make a move and..."

"I know, I know." I began with smirk, quickly being pulled out of the room by Bella "You'll cut _it _off."

"Damn right."  
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_**Bella's POV:**_

Ugh. Edward just didn't know when to shut up. I ran upstairs, holding his hand and dragging him up behind me, my father watching us from the bottom landing. I could tell he was a little worried about me staying over for a while, but Edward was right about one thing, he didn't have to worry. Walking into my bedroom, I let go of my friend, closing the door behind us. Edward let out a nervous laugh as I glared at him, a small smirk playing at the corners of my mouth.

"So..." I began as he flopped down onto my bed, resting his head on his arm "You think I'm..._Very _attractive?"

I smiled as his eyes went wide.

"You...you..." He stuttered, my to my amusement "...Please don't make me answer that question. You of all people should know by now that I cannot control what I say."

I rolled my eyes and let out a laugh, flopping down onto the bed next to him. He had suffered enough downstairs. I mean, as much as I liked to watch him squirm, I decided to be nice.

"OK." I said, turning to look at him.

We were silent for a bit before I sat back up and began to pack. Edward just continued to lounge on the bed playing with both his and my phone, but pretty soon I was packed and we were headed over to his house. It was a beautiful house, so much nicer looking than my own, and quite a bit bigger. I held our baby close to my chest, praying that I wouldn't trip and break it. I was a bit of a klutz...OK I was a big klutz, but hopefully nothing would happen.

The minute I walked into the house, I was immediately greeted by Esme, who enveloped me in a friendly hug.

"Bella." She said happily, acting as if she hadn't seen me in years "You staying?"

She looked at the bag in my hands, and unlike Charlie, didn't pry when I nodded. After talking to Esme for a while, watching some TV and having dinner, Edward and I made our way up to his room. I dumped my bag on the floor, carefully sat our child on his desk and took a seat on his comfy king sized bed. I grabbed two pillows from the top and stuck them at the bottom. It was getting quite late, and I could already feel sleep wanting to take over. Stretching I looked up at my best friend, giving him a small smile.

"I'm gonna go get changed." I said, standing up and grabbing my bag.

I headed into the joining bathroom; the sound from the TV in his room soon invaded my ears.

After having a quick shower, and getting changed, I walked back into the room, only to see Edward lying on his bed wearing nothing but his boxers, his arm behind his head as he surfed through the channels.

"Eww." I joked, coming to lie on the bed "I don't wanna see you in your drawers!"

"You bought them." He said with a chuckle, and right enough, I had bought them.

Smiling, I climbed into the bed, resting my head on the pillows at the bottom and pulling the golden sheets up to my chin. I watched as Edward smiled, turning off the TV before picking the egg up and holding it out in front of me.

"Look." He said with a chuckle "I drew a face."

I rolled my eyes, laughing a little at the cute little face he had drawn on our baby.

"And an ass." He carried on, turning it round to show that he had actually drawn one.

Rolling my eyes, I snuggled into my pillow some more as Edward climbed in under the covers. He nudged me playfully with his foot, and I did the same back. He was quite cute... I had to admit. Not by his appearance, but the way he acted. He was just a big kid.

"So when is the first feeding time through the night?" He asked in a sleepy voice.

"2am." I said "Then 4 and then 6...Think we can handle it?"

"Yeah. But you're doing all this stuff first." He said "I'll watch and record that we actually did it."

"Ok." I sighed, not really up for protesting "Well, I'm going to sleep. See ya at 2am."

"OK. Goodnight." He said, sitting up fully.

"Night." I replied, doing the same and sitting up, only for us to kiss each other's cheeks before falling asleep."  
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**A/N: Sorry for the short chapter, but I hope you liked it. Please R&R, even if it only say's 'Update soon', or 'Don't carry on at all'. **

**I hope I didn't confuse anyone about the whole bed sharing thing, and I hope you don't think that it's strange. I used to have a guy best friend and we would stay at each others house all the time. We always shared a bed, so I guess that's where I got it from.**

**R&R :o)**


	3. Boyfriend!

**A/N: Aw thanks guys for all the amazing reviews. I'm really glad you all lied it :o)**

**I've just started another 'Twilight' fic called 'Save Me' (Not based on Jordin Sparks' song) so I want to thank everyone who has read/reviewed/favorited/alerted it ;o)  
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_**Edward's POV**_

_BEEP...BEEP...BEEP..._

I groaned when the piercing sound of the alarm woke me from my sleep yet again. Bleary eyed, I looked over to see '6:00' stare back at me. Groaning, I silenced the damn thing and turned to my other side, only to see Bella snuggled up into my side sleeping. At first I was confused as to how she had gotten from the bottom of the bed to beside me with her arm draped over my chest, but soon remembered that she had fallen asleep next to me quickly after the second 'feeding time'. I already really hated this project. When 2am came, we both managed to check everything off on the list rather quickly, managing to get back to sleep by 2:15. Then when 4 o'clock hit, neither of us could get up...but unfortunately, we had to. Stupid egg.

Rubbing my eyes with the hand that _wasn't_ currently pinned under Bella's body, I sighed, yawning a little. How in the hell were we supposed to do this all week!? It is official. I am _never _having kids. No way, no how! I sighed again, my arm falling back down to the bed as I turned to face Bella, who was still fat asleep, her head resting on my chest as well as her arm. I smiled. Wow she was beautiful...wait! What! Bella beautiful!? Where the hell had that thought come from!? Sitting up a little, I gently pulled my arm out from under Bella, never waking her, which was no surprise. She was exhausted. Maybe I would just let her sleep for a little while longer. Take care of the 'baby' on my own.

Once everything had been taken care of, and I had showered and dressed, I woke Bella, gently shaking her shoulder.

"Bells." I said softly.

"Hmm...." She mumbled, stretching a little but never opening her eyes "Five more minutes Charlie."

I chuckled slightly before pulling the covers down. Her eyes shot open at the feeling of the cold air hitting her legs. Now she was awake!

"Edward!" She whined, sitting up and stretching "I want to sleep."

"Well that's too bad." I said with a smirk "Cause we have school. C'mon. Get up and ready. I'll meet you downstairs."

I had always been thankful that Bella never took long to get ready, but somehow, she always looked great. After breakfast, we headed to school in my silver Volvo, our 'baby' safe in Bella's hands. The journey was spent mostly in silence, Bella resting her head against the window, trying very hard to keep her eyes opened. It wasn't long until we pulled up at the school, parking beside Emmett's freakishly large jeep. Getting out the car, which was nice and warm, we were immediately greeted by the Forks' cold air. Shivering, and pulling the collar of my jacket up a little, Bella and I ran towards the school building, soon inside.

We didn't have to walk far before we saw Emmett, Jasper, Alice and a _very _pissed of Rosalie, who was currently throwing her books into her locker, each one bouncing of the back causing a loud clattering sound. I glanced at Emmett who looked a mix between scared and guilty.

"Hey guys..." Bella began with a small smile "...You OK Rose?"

"Nope." She stated angrily, Slamming the locker door shut and turning to face us "Emmett has caused us to fail the project!"

"Already?" I asked in disbelief, giving my friend a surprised look "What did you do?"

"He ate our egg!" Rosalie cried, her hands flying up into the air.

"Emmett!" Bella said wide eyed, turning to face him "You boiled you baby?"

"No..." He said softly

"He scrambled it." Jasper piped in with a chuckle, earning a slap in the chest from Alice.

Everyone turned and looked at him, except from Rosalie, who basically glared.

"If it makes any difference..." Emmett began quietly "It was delicious."

At this we all snickered, but all Rosalie did was roll her eyes and stomp off, quickly followed by Emmett who was doing something I had never seen before. Grovelling. Chuckling, I leaned against the lockers next to Bella, Alice and Jasper following Rose and Emmett. This project was going to be _a lot _harder than I thought.  
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_**Bella's POV**_

I rested my head against the cold lockers, closing my eyes. Man was I tired. Stupid egg. I wanted nothing more than to sleep, but unfortunately I had no such luck. 'School came first' as Charlie liked to say, but just when I thought my morning couldn't get any worse, the voice that annoyed me more than anything on the planet invaded my ears, causing my eyes to snap open. Quickly, I turned to look at Edward pleadingly, who in turn looked a little confused by my sudden movement.

"Since you love me, please pretend to be my boyfriend for five minutes." I said frantically looking behind me to see _him _getting closer.

Looking behind me, Edward immediately saw the cause for my strange request, quickly nodded and wrapped an arm round my waist, pulling me close into his body. I smiled up at him, happy to see one in return. It was a matter of seconds before the annoying voice got louder, and soon he was there, standing in front of me with a goofy grin.

"Hey Bella." He said in a lovesick tone "How are you on this fine day...may I say you look radiant."

"Hi Mike..." I replied with a slight blush of embarrassment. Not embarrassment for me...but for him.

Ugh, Mike Newton was the single most annoying person ever to walk on the face of the Earth. Seriously, you would not get tired of hitting him...EVER! But it wasn't his cheerfulness or his lame attempts at flirting that bothered me. It was the fact that he had had a crush on me since we met, and made it his personal mission to make sure everyone knew about it, including me on a daily basis. He just could not take the hint. I don't want to date him!

"So Bella..." I also hated the fact that he felt like he had to say my name every time he spoke to me "I was wondering...would you like to go on a date with me tomorrow night? See a movie...have dinner..."

I looked up at Edward, hoping that he would interject soon.

"Actually Mike..." He finally began "Bella and I already have plans for tomorrow..."

"Yeah." I piped in "We're going on a date."

Mike looked between the two of us as if we had grown a second head each and were currently singing 'High School Musical' songs.

"You two..." He finally managed to stutter out "I...I didn't know you were dating...How long?"

"Uh..." I began, not really knowing what to say.

"Oh...on and off..." Edward managed to reply quite convincingly "Throughout the year really. We managed to keep it very low key."

"I'll say..." Mike said a little disappointed "I mean everyone just thought that you guys were best friends...or 'friends with benefits'...but never boyfriend and girlfriend..."

I blush when the words 'Friends with Benefits' left Mike's mouth. Seriously, people thought that about us. Gross!

"You don't act like a couple." He carried on, looking at us a little sceptically "Are you _really _dating? I don't know whether to trust you or not."

Oh for the love of all things that are holy!!! Persistent or what!?

"Yes Mike!" Edward finally snapped "We are dating! Do we need it tattooed across our foreheads? Hold a banner about saying we're together? Do I need to actually physically prove it to you, cause I swear, I'll do it if it means you will piss off!"

'Physically prove'!? Ok, rewind and freeze! There was no way in hell was I going to kiss Edward. My best friend Edward. I mean...I had kissed him...once. When we were seven, and extremely bored due to the fact that it was raining (which was no surprise considering we lived in Forks), Edward and I had decided to play 'truth or dare'. Of course, even back then Edward wanted to prove that he wasn't afraid to 'show his wimpy' side as he liked to put it, and picked Dare. I had told him I had never been kissed and didn't know what the big deal was, so that was his dare. To kiss me. Well...He did...and maybe I could have reacted a little better...I cried. Talk about crushing your ego.

I soon snapped out of my thoughts, alarmed to see that Mike was still standing there, glaring at Edward with his arms crossed. Oh my gosh he actually wanted proof, didn't he. I was going to have to kiss my best friend. Ugh. Why did I ask Edward to be my 'boyfriend'!? Why not the guy who was standing at the other end of the hall...or why did I not just put Mike off completely and say I was a lesbian, or becoming a nun!? I really need to start thinking my plans through, especially when it came to Mike 'stalker-of-the-year' Newton.

"I just don't know what she sees in someone like _you_." I heard Mike spit "You're nothing but a man whore".

Oh no he didn't! No one talks to _my _best friend like that and get away with it. Screw just kissing Edward, I was going to _really _prove to Mike. Glaring at him, I turned to Edward, and grabbed him by his face, pulling him down so his lips crashed with mine. But I didn't pull away as quick as Mike had expected. Nope. I wrapped my arms around my friends neck and deepened the kiss, which had turned into a make out session. Opening one eye after a few minutes of my tongue being down his throat, I peered over at Mike, whose jaw had hit the floor. Ha! That would teach him. Pulling back from our awkward (but believable kiss), I gave Mike a sheepish grin.

"Sorry about that Mike." I said sweetly, tucking a piece of hair behind my ear "I just...can't keep my hands off of him" Ugh, I think I'm going to be sick "He's just _such _a great kisser."

I looked up at Edward who was blushing and looking a mix between confused and surprised, something I had never seen before, before turning back to face Mike, who quickly stalked off.

"Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew." I said, rubbing my mouth and popping a mint into it.

"Well at least your reaction this time is better than crying." He said, popping a mint into his own mouth.

"I don't see why though." I said, rubbing my lips yet again "Last time I didn't have my tongue in your mouth!"

"Let's just forget it happened." He said an idea which I really agreed with "I think Mike got the picture."

"He better have." I said "Either he did, or he is very stupid."  
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_**Edward's POV**_

Well that had been...awkward...Never in my life had I expected to find Bella's tongue in my mouth...or mines in hers for that matter. I always thought I would make out with Emmett before her! But thankfully, for some strange magical reason, we didn't feel embarrassed through the day. We actually put it behind us, and whenever someone came up and asked about the steamy make out session, we simply replied 'Mike Newton', and they completely understood. We even got the interrogation from our friends, who actually believed that the dating rumours were true!

I must say however, I was pleased when the day came to an end and we could go home. I wanted nothing more than to sleep, so straight after dinner Bella and I headed up to my room. Even though I was the one who came up with the 'Let's just forget it happened' idea, my mind could not stop wandering back to that kiss. Was it wrong that I enjoyed the little role playing? Was it wrong that our fake make out session was probably the best I had ever had? Sighing I ran my hands through my hair and collapsed onto the bed as Bella exited from the bathroom. Lying down next to me on her stomach, she gave me a warm smile.

"You OK?" She asked "You seem a little...spaced."

"Yeah..." I lied "I'm fine...just really tired I guess."

"I know what you mean." She replied "I wish Emmett had eaten our egg too."

I laughed a little, as had she. Rosalie was still pissed at our friend at lunch, but by the end of the day had lightened up when Emmett promised to by her more eggs and pretend it didn't happen.

"I want to thank you." She carried on after her laughter had died down "I know that the whole...kiss...thing was awkward and disturbing, but you helped get Mike off my back. Hopefully he'll realise now that I'm not interested."

"It's alright." I replied with a smile "You would have done the exact same for me."

"Yeah. That's what friends are for right?"

I don't know what it was, but at the word 'friends', I felt my heart drop. Did I want to be more than just friends with Bella? Was the strange feeling's I was having after the kiss meaningful?...Nah. Couldn't be. She was Bella Swan. The same girl I saw every day.

"Yeah." I finally answered "Well...it is 10 o'clock, I shall see you at 2 for feeding time."

"Oh joy." She said sarcastically, rolling her eyes and climbing under the covers "G'night Edward."

She softly kissed my cheek before turning off the light, and for the first time that small little kiss on the cheek meant something to me.  
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**A/N: I'm not very happy with this chapter, but I do hope you liked it. Please R&R and tell me what you think. All reviews are welcome, just not really mean ones. Lol. Please, please, please tell me what you think, that way I can improve and make it better. Thanks :o)**


	4. Crush!

**A/N: ****Wow guys. Woke up this morning to 54 e-mails! Thanks so much to everyone who reviewed/favorited/alerted and those who just read. You really made me feel better about the last chapter. I love hearing feedback, even if it's bad, so don't be frightened to tell me what you really think (just please don't be really mean). I am going to say though, there is going to be a lot of bumps in the road for Edward and Bella, and the whole 'egg' thing is only a small part of the story, there is still a lot to go. Hope you don't mind :o)  
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_**Edward's POV**_

I couldn't sleep. The thoughts I was having about Bella were strange and confusing...but for some reason I enjoyed them. Why was I so worked up about the kiss!? It was just a show we put on for Mike Newton. Stupid Mike Newton! I hated the guy. Because of him, I was sitting in my kitchen at 2:30 in the morning looking into a steaming cup of coffee, Bella plaguing my thoughts. I sighed, running my hands through my hair. Why did life have to be complicated? I continued to sit there for a while longer, of course thinking about the girl who was upstairs sleeping in my bed...but I was soon brought out of my little daze long enough to see Bella walk into the kitchen and take a seat on the bar stool opposite me. She looked tired. He eyes heavy and her long brown wavy hair was going in all directions, but still...she looked beautiful...Damn! What is happening to me!? I am Edward Cullen. The guy who everyone wants! I don't call girls beautiful. I don't get all...sentimental! Especially about Bella!

I looked up at her, resting my head in my hand. She gave me a small smile, setting the egg down in front of us to take an apple from the bowl at the side of the counter.

"Are you sure you're alright." She asked quietly "I woke up to do the feeding and you weren't there."

"Couldn't sleep." I said a little unconvincingly.

She chuckled a little and pulled my coffee away from me before I could take another sip.

"Well, this won't help." She said, emptying the rest down the sink.

We were silent for a little, but of course it was only me who could feel the awkwardness.

"What are you thinking about?" She asked, resting her own head in her hands.

I was quiet, not having a clue what to say. I couldn't exactly tell her that every time she looked at me I felt all giddy and happy. I couldn't say that I wanted to kiss her again to see if it felt just as great as the last one.

"I'm thinking about..." _Quick...say something _"One of my friends in my History class."_Now if I don't think of a name, she will know I'm talking about myself "_Tyler Crowley...he is having a bit of a dilemma."

"What's wrong with him?" Bella asked, become interested.

Damn, I should have known that she would want details.

"He...he's having strange feelings about his friend...who's a girl." I said.

"What type of feelings?"

"Uh...well recently..._very _recently, he's been feeling all flustered when he sees her. Nervous." I probably sounded like a complete idiot right now "And he keeps thinking that she is beautiful, which he had never done before...what do you think is wrong with him?"

I was confused to see Bella smiling.

"He's got a crush." She finally said with a laugh "Nothing too serious...who's the girl?"

"Uh...no one...you don't know her." I said, a little shocked at the answer she gave me.

A crush! There is no way in hell that I had a crush on...Bella! It wasn't physically possible! I grew up with her. We had been through everything together. Her parent's divorcing. The girls who I was constantly hooking up with, just to break up with them 9she would be the one to comfort them after I had 'broken' their heart). Teachers who wanted to see our heads on a plate (usually mines), and so much more. We had just always been there for each other.

"You sure it's a crush?" I asked, snapping out of my thoughts as she stood up to get a drink of water "I mean...maybe he has...a cold...or something."

"No Edward..." She chuckled, taking a sip of her water "It's a crush. Believe me; we girls get them all the time."

I watched as she raised the glass to her lips again for another sip of the water. Never in my life did I think it possible to be jealous of an inanimate object, but this just proved that it was. OK...so maybe I had a..._little_...crush on her. It would go away in a few days...right? I mean, c'mon...I couldn't be falling for Bella...could I? But...she had just said 'we girls get them all the time'...who the hell was she crushing on!?  
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_**Bella's POV**_

When the alarm went off at 6am, I found myself oddly...awake, unlike the previous morning. Stretching, I looked over to see Edward hanging off the edge of the bed, sleeping soundly. He had been acting so strange the past couple of days, and part of me thought it was because of our kiss. Had I scared him off? Nah took more than that to frighten Cullen. He let out a little snore as I climbed out the nice warm bed, and I couldn't help but laugh. It was times like these where he was sweet and innocent looking. I watched as Edward rolled onto his back, still fast asleep. Smiling, I took a seat on the bed next to him.

"Edward." I said in a sing song voice "Wakey wakey. Time to get up. Feeding time."

"Ugh..." He groaned, picking up his pillow and covering his face with it, his voice becoming muffled "I fuckin' hate that thing."

"I know..." I said with a smile, lying down beside him, resting my head on his shoulder "But the project will be over in a four days."

He lowered the pillow from his face and sat up, causing me to go flying a little, ending with me falling off the bed.

"Oh shit...sorry." He mumbled, taking my hand and helping me back up.

"Doesn't matter." I said with a small smile "I was bound to fall at some point today.

We took care of the feeding, had breakfast, got ready and were soon heading out to school. Edward was still acting strange though. He wouldn't look at me, and if he did it wasn't for long. If I asked him questions he would give me short answers, or ask me a question in return. Ugh...why did he have to be so difficult!?_ Because he's Edward. Difficult is his middle name!_ We came to a stop outside school after what felt like hours of driving, and of course, standing in the parking lot was Mike Newton. I gasped at seeing him, and quickly took hold of Edward's hand. I couldn't help but notice how he tensed up. Had I really pissed him off?

We walked hand-in-hand as we passed Mike, who looked a little confused (like yesterday hadn't happened), but we were soon inside and meeting up with the gang.

"Hey guys." Alice said in a happy voice, skipping over to give me a hug.

"Hey." I said, looking over at Emmett who looked very excited "What're we talking about?"

"PARTY!" Emmett bellowed "After the project is done. My parents are going out of town, so we can celebrate."

"Sounds good." Edward said with a small smile, but soon he was quiet again "Uh...Emmett, Jasper...can I talk to you guys a minute."

They nodded, and soon all three left. I glanced at Edward before he left. He _always _talked about _everything _to me...maybe it's just guy stuff...yeah. That's what it is. Guy stuff...but still...he didn't have to act like he was avoiding me. Arrogant prick! Turning round, Alice, Rose and I began to walk through the halls, heading for class. We kept getting strange looks by fellow students at the fact that we were carrying eggs, but not one of us trusted them with the 'fathers'.

"Hey guys..." I asked after a while "Is Edward mad at me?"

"What makes you think that?" Alice asked with a chuckle.

"Yeah Bella...Edward practically worships you." She too was laughing a little.

"He does not worship me." I said with a smirk "I just happen to be the only girl who he is afraid of."

We all laughed a little

"But seriously..." I carried on "Have I done something? I mean, he's hardly speaking to me; not really looking at me much and he never act's like that. Maybe I shouldn't have kissed him."

"Wait!?" Rosalie and Alice cried in unison, coming to a stop.

"You kissed him!?" Rosalie practically yelled.

I looked at them a little confused. They had asked us yesterday about the dating rumours.

"Yeah...you guys already know this though."

"No..." Alice began "We heard about you guys supposedly dating, which turned out to be false. We never heard about you guys kissing!"

"Is he a good kisser?" Rosalie asked with a smile.

"ROSE!" I cried, trying hard not to blush "I can't answer that. He's my best friend."

"Oh who cares?!" She said, ushering me for gossip "He's hot, and don't act like you haven't noticed."

I blushed a little, starting to walk again. I wanted to get away from the conversation, but unfortunately we had the next class together, and the teacher was on maternity leave, and to top that, we still didn't have a sub, so we would be in a class unsupervised. I know that this is a stupid thing to complain about, but all I wanted was to find out what I had done to Edward to make him act like this. The two gossip queens followed me quickly into the class room, taking our usual seats up the back.

"Do you think the kiss could have caused him to act this way?" I asked again, not getting my answer the first time.

"Who knows?" Alice said "Maybe he loved it and is feeling all awkward about it."

"That I really doubt." I said.

There is no way in hell that Edward Cullen enjoyed that kiss.  
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_**Edward's POV**_

I quickly led Emmett and Jasper though the school until we came to a stop at one of the abandoned corners of the cafeteria. They took a seat while I began to pace, my hands flying to my hair. I always done that when I was worked up about something. They sat and watched in confusion as I continued to pace, but it wasn't until Emmett threw an empty bottle at me did I stop. Turning to face the two, I opened my mouth to speak, but nothing came out. What was happening to me!? I was never lost for words.

"I have a problem..." I finally managed to spit out.

"Well we know that." Emmett said "What we want to know is why you dragged us all the way over here."

"Dude." Jasper mumbled "I think the 'problem' _is _why he wanted to talk to us."

"Oh..." Emmett said in realisation "Carry on."

I took a deep breath, running one hand through my hair again before my arm fell limply against my body.

"I think...there is a slight, ever so small chance that I...have a...a crush on someone."

They sat there dumbfounded, their mouths open and their eyes wide.

"You. Are. Shitting. Me." Emmett said, emphasizing each word he spoke "_The _Edward Cullen is...crushing on someone!?"

I nodded a little, giving a sheepish grin, and that's when I heard it. Laughter erupting from both of my so called 'friends'.

"It's not funny." I whined like a five year old, taking a seat in front of them "I have never felt this way before. You guys need to help me. I'm not a commitment type of guy."

"Well..." Jasper began, trying to contain his laughter. I really wanted to kick him "You could start...by telling us who you're crushing on."

"Uh..."

"We can't help unless you tell us." Emmett said in a teasing tone.

Sighing deeply I buried my face in my hands.

"IhaveacrushonBella." I said quickly, my voice muffled.

"I'm sorry what?" Jasper asked. I could hear his smile. Prick.

Giving a frustrated groan I uncovered my face, looked around a little to make sure that no one was listening and leaned forward.

"I have a crush on Bella!" I whispered quickly through gritted teeth.

I was expecting them to stop laughing and show some shock that I had just confessed to 'liking' my best friend, but no. What they did was much worse.

"PRAISE THE LORD!" Emmett cried, throwing his hands in the air and leaning back in his seat "THE BOY HAS FOUND SENSE!"

Huh?

"It's about damn time!" Jasper exclaimed "That's all I can say."

"Wait...what!?" Ok, now I was confused.

"Dude, a blind guy could tell you were crushing on Bella." He answered with a smile "We've known for years."

"How they hell could you know I had a crush on her before I did?" I asked in disbelief.

"Because we're smartical." Emmett said proudly.

Jasper rolled his eyes and turned to me.

"So what you going to do?" He asked "You should ask her out."

"No way!" I cried loudly, causing people passing by to turn and look. I blushed and gave a small smile.

Really...I had to be sick or something. First I start getting strange feelings for a girl, next I couldn't speak and now I'm blushing! I need to start hanging out with more guys, or next I'll be asking Rosalie for tips on hair care products and Alice to go shopping with me.

"I don't want to risk my friendship with her." I said a little calmer "She's my oldest and best friend."

"I thought I was you're oldest and best friend!" Emmett cried through a mouthful of food that he had gotten from the vending machine.

"No." Jasper began with a chuckle "You're his stupid loud friend."

"Look, we're starting to sound like girls." I Said "Let's do something tonight, just us guys. I'll try and get my mind off Bella, and hopefully meet a nice girl who could help me with that."

"Sounds good."

We all stood up and headed for our first class, which of course was with the girls. Would it be so bad if I did fall for Bella? Would she fall for me or had she already have her eye on someone else?  
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**A/N: So what did you guys think? I'm going to bring in my own character probably in the next chapter or the one after that. Please R&R and tell me what you think :o)**


	5. I Hate You!

**A/N: H-O-L-Y biscuits! Wow guys. I really cannot thank you all enough. I really appreciate all your feedback, it's great. But please bear with me at the moment. Edward and Bella ****WILL**** end up together, but I want to write more on their friendship, Edward's crush, Bella being completely oblivious to the fact he likes her, and I also need time to think of that little surprise I have planned for everyone. Hope you enjoy this chapter :o)  
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_**Bella's POV**_

I was happy when the day finally came to an end. Mike Newton had been stalking me, but thankfully was sensible enough not to utter one word to me. I guess that was a plus. I didn't see much of Edward, only at biology and lunch. He didn't say much. I swear he was acting like such a girl! Big baby! After school, for the first time in years, we didn't all meet up at the diner. Rosalie was too tired, Emmett had to help his Mom do something for her work, and Alice and Jasper just wanted to go home and relax for a few hours. So that left me alone with Edward, who (for his own safety) better start talking to me like a normal person soon. We sat in his comfy silver Volvo, and it was then that I realised that it had to be something serious that was wrong with my friend. He was driving within the speed limit! I know...I'm scared too...What's happening to him!?

I glance at Edward every now and then, and a few times caught him glancing back. All he did was clear his throat, shift in his seat and stare out the front window. Ugh! If annoying me was an Olympic sport, he would walk away with the gold every time. He was silent, and was obviously not going to speak anytime soon. Rolling my eyes at his childishness, I reached over and began to fiddle with the radio. I was not going to sit in a completely silent car. He was going at such a normal speed I couldn't even scream at him to slow down. I soon settled on a station that was playing classic rock, sat back in my seat and looked over at Edward. I was going to get him to talk to me if it killed me.

"So..." I began, seeing him stiffen a little "What's happening tonight...you staying at my place or am I staying at yours again?"

"Uh..." He stuttered, but I didn't mind. It was progress "My place tonight...and switch to yours tomorrow?"

"Sounds good." I stated "How was your day."

Ugh...it was like I was talking to my Great Aunt Helen.

"Good..." He said with a small smile "I didn't get yelled at by any teachers, not even once."

He smiled a little, and I could tell that he was proud of himself, and so he should be. Edward not getting into trouble was not something you heard every day...actually, you very rarely heard it. We finally made it to the house, Edward seeming a little less...uptight. No one was home, Carlisle, Edward's adoptive father, was probably still at the hospital, and Esme had left a note saying that she was shopping in Port Angeles. So it was just the two of us...great.

We made our way up to Edward's room, planning on just watching a movie for a while, the egg in hand. I couldn't help but smile every time I looked at the little face Edward had drawn on it. The minute we walked into the large room, I collapsed onto the bed, making sure not to crush 'Calleigh'. I don't think there were any spare eggs in the fridge. I watched as Edward lay next to me, but not as close as he normally did.

"So what movie do you want to watch?" He asked, glancing at me briefly.

"...Superhero Movie!" I exclaimed. Drake Bell was just...w-o-w!

"Again!?" He asked "We always watch that."

"It's a good film..." I said with a smile "We could either watch that or...I don't know...27 Dresses."

"So...Superhero Movie?" He said quickly, standing up and putting it into the DVD player "Oh, by the way...I'm going out tonight with Emmett and Jasper."

"What!?" No, he couldn't do this! He had to do his fair share of looking after our baby. I was doing everything just now! "Edward, what about the project!? You can't expect me to take care of absolutely _everything_!"

"Just for tonight." He said "I won't be too long."

He turned towards his wardrobe, and just as he opened the closet door, I picked up a pillow and launched it at him, hitting him right in the back of the head. HA!...Ok, so it wasn't the best thing to hit him with, but still...I felt pretty damn good. Smirking, I folded my arms across my chest as he turned to face me, picking up the pillow with a small smile.

"Oh...so you wanna play like that?" He asked with a smirk.

I squealed as he approached me with the pillow, attempting to hit me back, but I was too quick for him and moved. I laughed when he missed, happy to see that Edward was now acting more like his normal self. He came at me again, laughing a little, but again I ran past him, jumping back onto the bed. I giggled when he looked round a little confused as to where I had gone so quickly. He turned round once more, the pillow slung over his shoulder as he held it by the corner. I was lying on the bed breathless, smiling up at him. Smiling back, he raised the pillow up and just as he was about to bring it down to hit me, I rolled over...but that's when I heard it...the pillow slamming onto the bed and the loud crack.  
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_**Edward's POV**_

Oh please Lord no! My eyes went wide at the sound of the crack. I slowly turned my gaze towards Bella. She was starring at the pillow, but slowly began to frown, turning to face me. Standing up, she grabbed the pillow from me, and picked it up off the bed, gasping when she saw what had been under it. Our egg, but now it was in a thousand pieces, the yellow yolk spreading across the sheets. Yep...I was in trouble. She turned to face me, frantically, her hands flying to her hair.

"You broke it!" She cried, looking between me and the egg "Quick! Get me some sticky tape...glue...anything!"

"Bella..." I began "...It's gone..."

"No!" She turned to face me, pointing a finger at me "I will not fail this project because you decided to hit your child with a pillow"

I backed up with a look of fear on my face. What, Bella was scary when she was angry.

"We can always replace it..." I said softly "No one will know."

I thought that would make her happy, but I was wrong. Instead, she gave a frustrated cry and stormed past me.

"I hate you!" She called as I followed her out of the room and down the stairs "I hate your parents for producing you, I hate biology because I sit next to you, I hate my dog because he likes you, and I hate that actor Rob Pattinson because he looks like you!"

I bit my lip as I tried to hold back a laugh. Ok, Bella was scary when she was mad, but still, she was funny. I watched as she stormed into the kitchen, opening the fridge, only to close it again and turn to face me with her hands on her hips.

"Just as I thought. No eggs." She glared at me.

Sighing, I pulled out my phone. She wasn't going to forgive me until I personally went to the store and got some. Then I would have to grovel for her to accept my apology. I dialled the familiar number and waited until the booming voice of Emmett greeted me.

"_Hey man!"_ He cried happily _"You excited about tonight."_

"Actually..." I began, glancing over at Bella "I'm going to have to cancel...something came up..."

"HE KILLED OUR BABY!" Bella screamed so Emmett could hear.

"_I feel for you." _He said seriously _"I'll call Jazz and we can arrange another night. I suggest you go to the store immediately and get some more eggs Dude. Seriously, If you don't she'll have your nuts in a vice before the night's over."_

"Gee, thanks for your wise words of wisdom Em." I said sarcastically "I'll talk to you later."

Flipping my phone shut, I stuffed it back into my jeans pocket. Bella still stood there, anger evident in her eyes.

"I'll go to the store, get some eggs and we can talk about this...rationally...when I get back." I said.

She watched as I quickly left the house. Who knew a stupid egg would make her this angry. I could only imagine what she would be like if it was a real baby.  
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_**Bella's POV**_

Ok...so maybe I...overreacted a little, but I was pissed! I had never gotten a bad grade before...except for gym, and now thanks to my baby's 'father', I was going to get an F...I've never had an F before! What would Charlie say!? My Mom!? Phil...Ah, who cares about what Phil would say, the point is, I was going to fail. I watched as Edward left the house looking a little frightened. Good. He should be. He knew I was _slightly _dangerous when I was mad. He found that out when we were 9 and were playing a game of 'Snakes and Ladders'. He was winning and rubbing it in my face, so I kicked him in the balls. He couldn't walk properly that night.

Sighing, I ran my fingers through my hair. I headed into the living room and was about to sit down just as the phone rang.

"Hello?" I answered

"_Oh Bella, it's you." _It was Esme, sounding as cheerful as ever _"I just wanted to phone and say that I bumped into an old friend at Port Angeles, who has invited me to stay the night, so I won't be home. And Carlisle is working late and won't be home until the wee hours of the morning. Will you and Edward be alright by your self's?"_

"Hey Esme...Yeah, I should be fine...I don't know too much about Edward."

I was guessing she heard the anger in my voice when I spoke his name.

"_Let me guess...he broke the baby."_

"Oh yeah." I said "And I feel like breaking his neck right about now."

She chuckled a little, making me feel a little better.

"_Well, give him a smack up the back the head from me...sorry Bella I gotta go."_

"Ok Esme. Have fun. Bye."

We hung up and I sat back on the couch, turning on TV. So now Emmett and Edward had managed in killing their children. I wonder how long Jasper would last.

I sat and watched TV for a while. It was getting dark and Edward still wasn't back. I hope he was OK. I almost jumped with fright when I heard the front door open, but there was Edward, dripping wet with a bag in his hand. He gave me a small smile, and I returned it, showing him that I wasn't as angry now.

"Hey." I greeted, standing up "What took you so long, I was starting to get worried."

"Oh...I just wanted to give you some time to cool down..." He replied "I got you a present."

He handed me the bag. I smiled when I saw what was inside it. Four boxes of eggs, each box with a little wrapping bow on the top and the word 'sorry' written in his nice hand writing. I smiled and looked up at him. He handed me an egg, with the exact same face and butt drawing as our previous one.

"There." He said "Now we have our baby back, and are prepared in case history repeats itself...so, you forgive me?"

"Of course." I said with a smile.

"And you don't hate me...or any of the other things that remind you of me for that matter?" He smirked.

"No, I don't hate you...your parents, my dog, biology, or Rob Pattinson." I responded "I could never hate him, he is _so _much hotter than you."

I couldn't help but laugh at his expression. I quickly took his hand and led him upstairs.

"Now let's go watch you favorite film." I said sarcastically "Superhero Movie."

He groaned. This was my payback.  
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_**Edward's POV**_

It was about 3 in the morning when I woke up. I couldn't sleep properly. I sat up in bed, running my hands through my hair as I looked over at Bella. I smiled. She looked so peaceful and sweet. It was hard to think that earlier I thought I was going to have to call in an exorcist. I leaned back against my pillow, watching as she shifted and mumbled. I knew Bella talked in her sleep, but half the time she didn't make any sense...but tonight, I was in for a huge surprise.

"Edward..." She mumbled.

At the sound of my name, I sat up. She was dreaming about me. SHE WAS DREAMING ABOUT ME! I smiled in happiness. What was happening? I sat, hoping she would say more.

"Hmm...stop." She mumbled again a small smile on her face.

HOLY SHIT! Bella was having a sex dream! That was the only explanation. Saying my name and then 'stop', and all of this with a smile! I knew I shouldn't have been happy about this. I mean she was my best friend, but hey! Apparently I had a crush, so I was going to take full advantage of this and enjoy listening. But my enjoyment soon turned into confusion when Bella began to speak again.

"Emmett!"

EMMETT! What the hell was he doing in her dreams!

"Jasper!" Stop you guys."

OK, I've heard enough. At first it was sexy, now it's just gross. Gagging a little at the thought of Bella's dream, I covered my ears, praying that she would stop talking. Talk about things being awkward.  
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**A/N: Ok, so I don't really know why I added that little part in at the end, but I kinda enjoyed it. Hope you all did too. Please R&R and share your opinions. The more reviews I get, the more I want to write and the faster I update :o)**


	6. Shiner!

**A/N: Thanks for all those amazing reviews guys. I'm really glad you liked that chapter. This is the chapter where I will bring in my OC. So I hope you enjoy. Please review :o)  
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_**Edward's POV**_

I sat in my kitchen, fully clothed, eating a bowl of cereal. Ugh...I could not believe what I had heard that night. Bella having a sex dream that involved Emmett, Jasper and I! Talk about gross! I wanted it just to be her and me! Ok...I wasn't going to deny it any more. I really did like her, and I did want to be more than just friends...maybe I should listen to Jasper for once and tell her how I feel. What's the worst that could happen? She turns me down and we go back to being best friends. I'd get over her sooner or later...right? But what if she didn't turn me down!? Would a relationship between us work? Would we be together forever... or just until she met someone else who she fell for. I sighed, running my hand through my hair. I officially hated being a teenager. Too many stupid hormones!

I was just finishing up my breakfast when I saw Bella come down stairs holding the egg. I swear, she just looked better and better every day. She was wearing a black 'Jack Daniels' tank top (something I had given her), dark blue jeans and a pair of pink converse sneakers with white batman laces (again, something that I had bought her). Her hair was down as usual, soft curls cascading down her back. She was perfect.

"Good morning." She said happily, taking a seat in front of me with her own cereal.

"Hey." I said with a smile "...have a good night's sleep."

"Oh, the best!" She said "I had such a great dream."

"Yeah...I kinda figured." I said a little awkwardly "You were talking and...Smiling."

I was expecting her to blush with embarrassment at my comment, but she didn't! All she did was smile some more!

"It was a fantastic dream!" She said "You were in it...and Emmett and Jasper, _and_ Mike Newton!"

MIKE! Mike was in her dream too! Oh my gosh I thought I had heard the worst of it last night! I tried to hold back a shudder. She hated Mike! Why would she be happy at having a sex dream about him...unless it wasn't a sex dream. At first I didn't know whether to be happy or sad. I mean, I was sad that she wasn't thinking about me in that way, but on the other hand, I was happy that the others were in the same boat.

"So...what did you dream about?" I asked, not as worried now to hear the answer.

I watched as a small smile spread across her face.

"Well...You met Mike in school, and out of the blue began to kick the living shit out of him! Then Emmett and Jasper walked up and started to join in too." She began to chuckle a bit "I was trying to tell you guys to stop, but I was just too happy at the sight to actually care."

Ok, I had to admit. The dream sounded great. No wonder she was happy, but I would have preferred if it was just me and her...alone...together.  
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_**Bella's POV**_

I had had a great day so far. I woke up feeling refreshed and happy; Edward seemed to be a lot happier too. School had been great as well. I had Edward and the rest of the guys in most of my classes, and all we did was talk about what happened the previous night between me and my best friend. Now when I think about it, it was kinda funny, but really sweet when he apologized. I knew Edward could show his caring side when he wanted to. When lunch came, we all met up, and I knew Edward was back to normal when he draped his arm over my shoulder. We made our way into the crowded cafeteria, sitting at our normal round table in the centre of the room, while enjoying a conversation on how we'd love to see Mike Newton suffer. I know that it sounds mean, but I still hadn't quite forgiven him about calling Edward a man whore. I was the only one who was allowed to insult him and get away with it. Who cared if he had had a lot of girlfriends!? It didn't make him a bad person...ok, maybe he could work on how to break up with them, but that is about it. He was a nice guy. He always spoiled me.

Rosalie, Alice and I left the guys at the table as we went up to grab some lunch, and of course the lazy asses at the table gave us their orders so they didn't have to get up. We were laughing and talking, slowly making our way up the queue.

"So Alice..." Rosalie began as I grabbed a bottle of water "Has Jasper almost killed your baby yet?"

"No." She stated proudly "Unlike your men, my guy is very careful with my child."

"Ugh." I said with a hint of a smile "You say that like I'm dating Edward."

"Well..." Rosalie began with a smile "You two are incredibly cute together...have you seriously never thought about hooking up?"

"Yeah." Alice piped in "Have you ever heard the saying that Best friends make the best lovers?"

"Guys!" I exclaimed "Edward and I are friends. Nothing more and nothing less."

"We know." Rosalie stated "We're just saying...the two of you would make a great couple."

"Not going to happen." I said, hoping that this would be the end of the conversation.

We finished getting our lunch, and were about to head back to the table when I was stopped by one of the schools most popular boys. Jamie Stevens. Definition, sex on legs. Unlike most students at Forks High, he had nice tanned skin, sandy blonde hair and hazel eyes. I must have had a crush on him since forever, but never thought he would go for someone as plain as me. I didn't think I was much to look at, but Edward always told me that I was the prettiest girl he had ever seen. I knew he was only saying that though.

"Hi Bella." He said in a deep voice.

"Hi Jamie." I said with a small smile as Alice and Rosalie pretended to be in deep conversation behind me.

"You look great today." He said, looking me up and down.

I felt my cheeks burn, and I could already tell that I was blushing.

"Thanks...is there something that you wanted." Oh my gosh, I hope I didn't sound rude there!

"Actually yeah..." He said, oddly nervous "I was wondering if you would like to go on a date with me tonight?"

"WHAT!?" I heard Alice and Rosalie cry from behind me.

"I would love to!" I said quickly before they could interject.

"Great. I'll pick you up around 7."

And with that he Left. Smiling, I turned back round to face my friends, only to see them giving me a small glare.

"What?" I asked innocently.

"Did you not listen to one word we just said!?" Alice cried.

Wow. They must really want me to get with Edward badly.  
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_**Edward's POV**_

Stupid Jamie Stevens! I swear I am gonna kick his ass until he blacks out, then I'll wait till he comes to and do it again! Ugh. God just hated me, didn't he!? How in the hell could she say 'yes' to a date with him!? My grandpa is more Bella's type than him! He's like a Ken doll. Emmett, Jasper and I were sitting at the table, just talking and waiting for the girls to come back with our lunch.

"So Edward..." Emmett began with a large grin "How is your horrible crush on Bella going?"

"Oh...just fine actually..." I said sarcastically "I should be ready to jump in front of a bus any day now."

"It can't be that bad." Jasper began "I bet you that she feels the same way."

"Uh..." I heard Emmett mumble "If she feels the same way...then why is she shamelessly flirting with Jamie Stevens?"

I looked over at him, only to see him starring off to the side, pointing a little. Following his gaze I saw that Bella was indeed flirting with Stevens. I felt my blood boil. I wanted nothing more than to walk up to him and shove his head up his own ass...but unfortunately that is not physically possible. Damn. I watched as Bella blushed, and as Alice and Rosalie screamed 'What' at the top of their lungs, causing many people passing by to look at them. It didn't take a genius to figure out that Jamie had just asked My Bella out on a date. Yup! I said it. MY Bella. Ugh. I can't believe she actually likes that douche bag!

I tried to remain as normal as possible for the rest of the day. Bella had come back to the table all happy declaring he plans for the evening, asking if I could look after the egg. Yeah, I was a little surprised too after what had happened the previous night. Well, being the good friend that I was, I congratulated Bella on her date, telling her that I was happy for her, when really I wanted to run Stevens over repeatedly and confess my feelings to Bella.

The minute we got back to Bella's house, where we would be staying for the rest of the project, she went straight up to her room to pick out 'the perfect outfit' for that night. And to make matters worse, I just knew that she would be asking me what I thought, and how she looked. She spent hours in the bathroom, which was so unlike Bella, but I had to admit, when she came out she was...beautiful. I couldn't help but watch her as she fixed her hair in the mirror. I hung in loose curls down her back. She wore a strapless blue dress that hugged her body perfectly, stopping just above the knee. It was casual, but perfect for the date. The date that I wish I was taking her on!

I continued to watch her apply a little bit of make-up before turning to me with a bright smile.

"How do I look?" She asked softly, obviously a little nervous about the date. I had to admit. It had been a while since Bella had went out with a guy.

"You look...amazing." I said quietly, causing her to blush a little.

"Really? Thanks Edward."

I couldn't help but smile.

When the doorbell rang, Bella and I made our way downstairs, only find Charlie talking to Jamie 'Fuck-face' Stevens in the hall. When he saw Bella his eyes went wide in amazement.

"Wow Bella." He said "You look Lovely."

Lovely? _LOVELY!? _She looked fucking amazing! Breathtaking. Don't insult her by saying she looked...'Lovely'!

"Thanks Jamie." She said "Well, let's get going."

With a nod, he wrapped his arm around her and led her out. All I wanted to do was rip that stupid limb from his body and beat him to death with it. After saying her goodbye's, Charlie shut the door, me still standing on the stairs sulking.

"Ah lighten up boy." Charlie said "Just us men tonight."

"I don't like that guy." I said, walking over the window and peeking out to see his hand even lower on Bella's back "Maybe I should catch up with him and have a little...chat...before he goes."

"Really..." Charlie said, obviously amused "And what would you say to him son?"

"I'd just tell him that he is going out with the Chief of Police's daughter and my best friend...so he best be careful...Because if he's not I've got a shovel and a ready dug grave to bury him in."

At this Charlie chuckled, patting me on the back.

"We can't protect her all the time Edward." He said "She's got to figure some things out on her on...plus, he looks like a nice smart boy."

"Please!" I scoffed "Smart!? He makes Forrest Gump look like a genius!"

Charlie laughed at me and rolled his eyes.

"Whatever you say, Edward. Whatever you say."  
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_**Bella's POV**_

Oh my gosh! I have never been more bored in all my life. It was like being on a date with my grandpa...my grandpa who died 5 years ago! How have I never noticed how dull Jamie actually is!? _Because he's gorgeous and every time you look at him everything else is blocked out._ I sat at the dinner table, my head in my hand as I played with my knife, wondering if I stabbed myself with it, would he even notice. Not only was Jamie dull, but he was self obsessed. He had been prattling on about the shampoo he uses to make his hair so 'amazing' for the past 10 minutes! I know realised that Jamie wasn't as good looking as I though. I tried to suppress a yawn as the waitress placed our food in front of us. I just prayed that he wouldn't want a dessert.

I sat and ate the awful food from the horrible restaurant as Jamie continued to talk about himself, although no the topic had switched from his shampoo and hair to his daily workout schedule. Not that it did him any justice. I had seen bigger muscles on kindergarteners than him. If he wanted to see muscles all he had to do was look at Edward. I know that Emmett had them too, but I preferred Edward's. I actually felt bad about leaving him alone with the egg. I knew that it was a little hypocritical of me since I flipped at the thought of him leaving me alone with it last night.

The date unfortunately got worse. Not only did Jamie order dessert but he had decided that dinner wasn't enough, and decided to take me to a rundown cinema that was showing films that I had never even heard of! What a date. When we finally pulled up outside my house around 10:30, I quickly got out the car, hoping that Jamie wouldn't follow, but luck hadn't been on my side that night. He followed me up the stairs of my front porch, stopping me before I could open the front door,

"I had a really great time tonight Bella" He said "Can I get a second date?"

_Quick! Think of an excuse to say 'No way in hell!' politely._

"Actually Jamie..." I began "I've decided to become a nun. So no men for me."

"Really?" He asked. I just couldn't believe he was buying this crap. "That's a shame. I guess I'll just have to settle on one last goodnight kiss."

"No Jamie." But he didn't listen. All he did was pull me towards him "Jamie Stop!"

I said it a lot louder this time as he tried to kiss me, but still the stupid idiot couldn't get it through his skull. I shouted again, and before I knew it, I was free from his grip...simply because I saw him go flying down the porch steps, landing on the ground with a thud. A little confused, I turned to the door, only to see Edward standing there, starring angrily at Jamie while clutching his bloody fist. Turned out my best friend was my hero and had punched him.

"You OK?" He asked, bringing me inside.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I said, hugging him tightly "Thank you so much."

"Anything for you." He said "Uh...Charlie got called out. Emergency, so it's just the two of us."

"Cool." I said, pulling away from the hug "Let me see your hand."

"It's nothing." He said, pulling it away from me, but wincing.

I gave him a stern look, taking hold of his hand to have a look. I gasped when I saw it. His knuckles were all cut up and there was a bruise forming across them. It was slightly swollen too, but he could move it fine, so I knew it wasn't broken.

"How hard did you hit him!?" I asked, dragging him through to the kitchen to get some ice.

"Not hard enough." He said, a small smirk on his face "But he'll have a nice shiner in the morning."

I rolled my eyes and smiled. I loved the fact that Edward was there to protect me. He always had been and hopefully he always will be.  
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**A/N: So what did you think? Please review. It only takes a second. Even if it just say's 'great', 'good', 'crap' or 'WTF?'. Thanks :o)**


	7. Party At Emmett's!

**A/N: OMG guys! Thank you so much for all those great reviews. Please keep them coming. I don't think my little heart could take it if I stopped getting them lol. I'm glad you liked the 'nun' part in the last chapter. That was actually a true thing that happened to me lol. Hope you enjoy this chapter :o)  
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_**Edward's POV**_

By the time Bella and I were heading for bed, Charlie still hadn't come back. It must have been a big emergency. I was coming back from the bathroom wearing my grey sweat pants, feeling the cold that filled the small house. The heating must have been screwed up again. I knew that it happened every now and then here. Stretching a little, I finally came to Bella's bedroom, and without knocking, walked in. Man, did I wish I'd have knocked!? I flung the door open, wanting nothing more than to fall asleep, but instead I was greeted by Bella, who was standing in the middle of her room wearing nothing but her underwear. I could feel Eddie Jr. get happy. She gasped, trying to cover herself with her pyjamas, but it wasn't really working.

"Oh shit." I mumbled, turning round to let her get dressed.

"It's...it's alright..." She said, but I could hear the nerves in her voice.

"You know..." I began with a small smile, trying to hold back a chuckle "I have seen you more naked than that."

"Yeah, well that doesn't count." Bella began, and I could already tell that she was blushing "Because we were 5 and I didn't have boobs then."

I chuckled a little and waited until she told me I could turn round. When I did, I saw Bella snuggled up under the covers in the bed which was pressed against the wall. And she had the top of the bed! I hated sleeping at the bottom! Sighing a little, I walked over, the cold wooden floor freezing my feet. I pulled back the covers at the bottom of the bed, only for Bella to sit up.

"What are you doing!?" She asked, sounding rather alarmed.

"Uh...going to bed." I stated a little puzzled from her outburst "That's what you usually do when you're tired Bells."

"No, you need to sleep up top with me tonight." For the love of all things that are holy! Is she being serious!? "It's too cold tonight. Charlie will need to fix the heating. So, c'mon up top."

She didn't need to tell me twice! I watched as she scooted even further to the wall, pulling back the covers to let me in. Her bed was a lot smaller than mine, but I wasn't complaining. I quickly climbed in, pulling the covers over me to keep warm. I gave Bella a small smile before closing my eyes, hoping sleep would take over me soon so I wouldn't be distracted by the beauty next to me...but trust Bella to ruin that for me. My eyes snapped open when I felt her arm drape across my chest and her head rest on my shoulder. I wonder if she actually knew that she was torturing me and thought it would be funny to watch me squirm.

I felt my breath hitch as she snuggled in closer to my side. Looking down at her, I saw that she had quickly fallen into a deep slumber. Looks like I'll be stuck like this for the rest of the night.  
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_**Bella's POV**_

The rest of the week went by quite well. Edward dropped the egg once, and actually threw it a second time (But that's because he could see Jamie coming up my driveway to talk to me. Let's just say Jamie was a little shocked when he was hit upside the head)...It was frickin' hilarious though. I will admit, I did drop it once as well, but it was Edward's fault! He decided to throw a football in my direction, and me being the Klutz that I am missed the catch. The ball bounced off my head causing me to drop my child. I know, I know. What a terrible mother I am. But now here we were, sitting in Sex-ed ready to hand our babies in. I turned to look at Rosalie and Alice, Rose looking all too eager to hand her 'Brat' as she called it back, and Alice nearly in tears.

"I'm going to miss my little baby." She said, resting her head on Jasper's shoulder "I thought the aim of this assignment was to stop us teens wanting children now!"

"Well it worked!" Rosalie exclaimed "There is no way in hell of me ever having a kid after this! Actually, maybe no sex either. I don't want to take the chances."

"What!?" Emmett asked a little alarmed.

We all just gave a chuckle, turning back to face the front when Mr. Barry walked in.

"Hello class." He said, a little too cheerfully "Well...how did you all find the project."

"A pain in the ass." Edward stated, causing some laughter.

"Thank you for that insight Mr. Cullen." Mr. Barry said. He turned to face me "Bella...what did you think of the project? Did you find it easy or difficult?"

"What part?" I asked "The part where we had to look after a 'baby' or the part where I had to look after Edward?"

Again the class laughed, Mr. Barry rolling his eyes.

"Both."

"Well...I had more problems with the living 'child'..." I said, shooting a glance at Edward "Than I did with looking after the egg. I actually enjoyed the project, but it has put me off having kids till I'm at least...oh I don't know...75."

"Good." Mr. Barry said, genuinely impressed "You seemed to have grasped the point of this assignment...What about you Mr. Cullen? Did you enjoy being a father?"

"Yeah, I guess so...But I don't want kids ever." He said "All the midnight feeding and changing! It gets to be a bit much."

I rolled my eyes at his complaining.

"Well, it seems like you too grasped the point. Well Done...A+"

I looked over at Edward who looked incredibly pleased with himself. That is first grade that has been above a C...ever! But deep down I knew Edward would want children one day. I knew that he would make an amazing Dad.  
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_**Edward's POV**_

"FREEDOM!" I cried once we exited from the class "No more kids!"

"Edward." Alice began "Stop acting all happy. We have just lost our baby's!"

But I was happy. No more waking up in the middle of the night. No more pointless feeding. No more having to be careful in case I broke it. The project couldn't have come to an end any sooner. The only thing I was a little upset about was the fact that Bella and I didn't have to spend the night at each other's houses every night now. That sucked. We began to head out of school towards the diner, my arm draped over Bella's shoulder. I loved having her close to me. Emmett was busy talking about something, but I was too content with the fact that Bella was beside me to really listen. It wasn't until I heard the word 'Party', did I snap out of my daze.

"Party?" I questioned.

"Yeah...remember?" Emmett began "My parents are out of town. I got the house to myself and since we got rid of the eggs, we are in need of a celebration."

"HEY!" Jasper cried, gaining everyone who was in the hallway's attention "PARTY AT EMMETT'S TONIGHT."

There were a few choruses of 'Yes' and 'I'm so there'. Jasper turned back to face us smugly.

"Well, that's the invitations dealt with." He said with a smile.

After we had finished up at the diner, I drove Bella home before Charlie got back. We went straight up to her room, me flopping down on the bed as she began to grab some clothes for the party.

"What do you think I should wear?" She asked, looking at the clothes in her closet.

"You look good in anything." I replied with a smirk.

You'd look even better in nothing though...ok, maybe I should stop thinking about that. I had to face the fact; Bella and I were never going to be together...no matter how much I wanted it to happen.

"Hey." She said, snapping me out of my thoughts "Do you think I should phone Jake and invite him?"

"Uh...I don't know." I said, sitting up "I mean, will he know anyone there?"

"He'll know us." Bella said, coming to sit on the bed with me "Edward...I know you don't care too much for Jacob, and I know he has...feelings for me...but nothing is going to happen. You don't need to protect me from every guy I know. You won't lose me to him."

I smiled at the last part, but I know that she was meaning it in a different way than how I liked to see it. She thought I was scared in case she would start hanging around with Jacob more than me. I had to admit though, that fear had crossed my mind a few times throughout the years. She stood back up, taking my hand and pulling me to my feet.

"You know I love you right." She said "You'll always be my number one guy best friend."

I smiled down at her, my heart doing flips at the fact that she said 'I love you', but again, she only meant in a friendship way.

"Yeah." I said pulling her in for a hug "And I love you too."

Only the difference was, I really did love her. More than anything.  
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_**Bella's POV**_

The music from Emmett's house could be heard over a mile away. When arriving, Edward found it difficult to find a good parking space, but soon we were inside the house enjoying the fun. Alice seemed a lot happier now. I'm guessing Jasper got her a new egg. I stood off to the side for a while, watching as my friends danced a little. Parties weren't really my thing. Sure, I was asked to dance by guys, but none of them were my type, and I knew that if Edward saw me with them he would flip out.

I stood there for a little while longer, as different coloured lights flashed and music belted out of the large speakers. Sighing, I walked over to the stair case, taking a seat on the bottom step. I wasn't there more than 2 minutes before Edward came and sat beside me, holding two paper cups.

"Hey." He said happily "You OK?"

"Yeah." I said, taking one of the drinks from his hand "Just a little bored."

"Well come dance with me."

I laughed, taking a sip from my drink.

"Are you insane!?" I exclaimed "How many beers have you actually had!? You know better than anyone that I can't dance."

We both stood up, heading into the kitchen. There were loads of guys standing around, one of them being Mike Newton, who was totally wasted. I glanced over at Edward, a little worried. I didn't want my personal stalker to try anything, but my so called best friend was distracted by the fact that he had found an unopened bottle of Tequila.

"Ooh." He said, holding it up to show me "Looks like we're set."

I couldn't help but laugh at his expression, but unfortunately my laughter had gained the attention of Mike AND Jamie, who had just entered.

"Bella!" Mike exclaimed happily, staggering towards me "What you doin' baby!?"

"Bella!" Jamie said with a smile, walking towards me as well.

I was stuck. I looked up at Edward.

"Help me." I whispered.

With a chuckle, he took hold of my hand and quickly pulled me out of the room, Jamie quickly following. Obviously he was quite sober. Whereas Mike tried to follow but ended up tripping. Laughing a little, Edward led me upstairs. I turned to look behind me, seeing Jamie quickly catching up with us.

"Wow." Edward said, obviously amused "This guy just doesn't give up."

"Quick! In here!" I said, pushing him into a nearby room and locking the door.

I turned to look at Edward, who was leaning against the wall with an amused smirk. I could tell he had had a lot to drink, but a drunk Edward was a funnier Edward.

"He loves you." He said, slurring on the word 'love'.

He began to laugh, sliding down the wall to sit on the floor, his back against the door. I quickly followed him, hearing the muffled sound of Jamie calling me from outside. Man, the guy really was desperate. I watched as Edward opened the bottle of Tequila that he had swiped from downstairs and take a drink, screwing up his face a little.

"Want some?" He asked with a small smile, holding out the bottle to me.

I nodded, taking the bottle and taking a small swig. I screwed up my face a little, and coughed before I handed it back to him.

"So how long do you plan in hiding out in..." I watched as he looked round the room "...Emmett's bedroom?"

"As long as it takes." I said with a chuckle "And don't think that you'll be going anywhere soon. I'll need some company."

He laughed a little, taking another gulp from the bottle. How the hell could he drink so much...well, I was just about to find out.  
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_**Edward's POV**_

Well, the party was going great so far...I had saved Bella once again from Jamie, found an unopened bottle of Tequila and ended up being locked in a bedroom with the girl of my dreams. Yup. The night could not get any better. We must have sat there for a few hours, sharing the bottle. It wasn't long however before we were both a little...well...a BIG bit drunk. Bella was in a fit of giggles, leaning against me and wiping tears from her eyes. We had been sitting remembering all the fun times we had had together when we were younger.

"Guess what..." Bella said, leaning up to look at me.

"What?" I slurred with a smile.

"See when we were 12..." I nodded a little "I had a _huge _crush on you."

I laughed. Bella had a crush on me. She began to laugh too, but I don't know what possessed me to say the next thing. I'm thinking it was mix of the booze and stupidity.

"Well guess what." I said, slipping a little from my sitting position.

"What?" She asked with a smile

"I have a _huge_ crush on you _now_!"

We both began to laugh, not that I have a clue why. She tried to sit up a little straighter, only to fall forward onto my lap, sending her into an even bigger fit of giggles. I helped her up a little, but fell over myself, knocking the remaining Tequila over, spilling onto the carpet, a little soaking the front of my jeans.

"Ah fuck." I said.

Bella laughed some more.

"It looks like you pissed yourself." I smiled too, a small laugh escaping from my lips.

I looked back at her. She really did look beautiful, even when I was drunk and couldn't even tell you what 2 plus 2 was.

"You're really pretty." I said, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear.

"Thank you." She said, running her fingers through my own "So are you."

I smiled leaning in a little until I could feel her warm breath against my lips.

"Would it be ok if I kissed you?" Ok, what type of idiot asks to kiss someone...sorry, let me rephrase that...what type of idiot asks to kiss there best friend?

"Would it be ok if I kissed _a-you?_" Bella smiled, leaning in even more.

I nodded a little as she rested her hands on my chest.

"Good." She whispered, closing the space between us.

Now there were three things I was almost positive about. 1, both of us were out of our faces and probably would not remember a thing in the morning. 2, Bella was a pretty damn good kisser (but I already knew that) and 3! What was about to happen could only lead to trouble.  
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**A/N: Hi guys. Ok, I'm REALLY not happy with this chapter. This was the one chapter that I was really worried about writing. Please R&R though ad tell me what you think. Thanks :o)**


	8. Where The Hell Is My Bra?

**A/N: Thanks for all the great reviews guys. I'm glad you liked it. You made me feel happier. Well, this chapter is for everyone who reviewed/favourited/alerted this :o)**

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_**Edward's POV**_

Ugh...my head was pounding when I woke up the next morning. Why the hell did I have to drink so much? My eyes were blurry, and the minute I sat up the room was spinning. How much _had _I drunk...and where the hell was I? Rubbing my eyes, I noticed that I was lying on Emmett's bedroom floor...only...naked.

"What the..." I mumbled, grabbing my boxers beside me and slipping them on. I was just about to stand up when I felt something...or should I say someone move beside me. Three guesses as to who it was.

Bella lay beside me, covered with a blanket that had once been draped over a chair in the corner...that Chair lying on the floor. At the sight of her I immediately sobered up. She was naked under that blanket! NAKED! And I had been too! Oh hell no! It did not take a rocket scientist to figure out what we had done. I just slept with my best friend. My best friend who I am in love with!

"Oh shit." I said, running my hands through my hair.

I closed my eyes tightly trying to remember things from the previous night, and how we came to be in this...situation. I was talking to Bella, found Tequila, and saved her from Mike 'stalker' Newton and Jamie 'Desperate' Stevens. Ended up locked in the room with her...then we drank a lot...talked...drank some more then...ended up kissing somehow...which has obviously led to the two of us sleeping together. Damn.

I looked round the room. Emmett's desk had been cleared, everything that had been on it now littering the floor. The bottom of the bed had been moved a good few feet and posters that lined the walls were either falling off or ripped. My attention soon turned back to Bella when I heard her groan a little. I began to panic. What would I say!? _Hey Bells...have a nice night? I know I sure did. _And that made me feel even worse! Not only had I slept with her, but I had enjoyed it. This could not be happening. I watched as Bella's eyes fluttered open and she sat up, causing the blanket that had been covering her bare chest to fall to her waist. As you can guess that didn't help me in any way.

"Ugh..." She moaned, rubbing her eyes "What happened?"

I opened my mouth to speak, but nothing came out. That was real convenient. I couldn't keep my mouth shut last night! The bite marks that covered Bella's chest were proof. I just watched her, my mouth agape as she turned to look at me.

"Edward?" She questioned a little confused to the fact that I was still staring at her wide-eyed.

She looked around the room to see that we weren't in her room or mine. She saw our clothes thrown all over the place and the mess that had been made. Looking down at herself, she saw that she was naked.

"OH MY GOSH!" She cried, picking the blanket back up and wrapping it round herself tightly. She stood up, and I quickly followed "This can't be happening."

"I am so sorry Bella." I don't know why I apologized. It wasn't my entire fault and it wouldn't help our situation.

She was avoiding my gaze, running around and picking up articles of clothing.

"How did this happen!?" She asked, more to herself than to me.

I watched as she grabbed her thong that I _can _remember pinging across the room the previous night.

"Turn around." She said.

I did so, letting her get dressed as I began to myself.

"I can't believe this happened!" I heard her exclaim "I mean...how could this happen? We're best friends! We don't think about each other in that _way_! And where the hell is my bra!?"

"Permission to turn around?" I asked, trying to lighten the mood as I pulled on my t-shirt.

"Fine."

I could hear the awkwardness in Bella's voice. When I turned round I saw her standing at the other side of the room wearing her jeans and holding her top over her chest. She looked away when I met her gaze, and when she did I felt a horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach. She looked oddly...ashamed of herself.

"Bells..." I began, taking a small step towards her "These things can just...happen sometimes...I'm really sorry."

She looked down, clutching her top to her chest tighter.

"Please just help me find my bra." She said softly.

I sighed and turned to look around, soon finding it hanging from the fan on the ceiling. Bringing it down, I handed it to my friend, turning round to let her finish getting dressed again. When I turned back round she was fully clothed, tying her hair up in a messy pony tail in the furthest away corner. She was acting like I had a contagious disease or something. I was just about to open my mouth to speak, hoping to break the awkward silence, but thankfully she did that first.

"What's going to happen now?" She asked, a little calmer, taking a seat on the bed "I mean...I don't want this to ruin our friendship...but I don't think that it's something we can ignore."

"I don't think we should get worked up about it." I said "I mean for example...Alice, has slept with her best friend before, and they are still very close."

"Edward, that's because Alice's best friend is also her boyfriend!"

"I know...I'm just trying to ease the tension." I took a seat next to her.

We were silent for a while, Bella staring at her hands that sat on her lap. I don't know how much time had passed before she finally looked up at me, but when she did I swear my heart flipped. I wanted to be with her more than anything, but I could tell that Bella didn't feel the same and I loved her too much to push.

"You..." She began, a slight blush creeping up her cheeks "You were...my first."

I smiled a little at her truthfulness. I could tell she was a little embarrassed at admitting it.

"Well..." I began, leaning in closer "Same here."

Yeah ok, I'll admit it. I'm a virgin...well...was. Sure I had dated a lot of girls, fooled around a little bit, but nothing ever happened. I could tell Bella was shocked, and all I could do was chuckle a little. Part of her must have believed the rumours that travelled.

"So...don't be too embarrassed by the fact." I carried on "I can tell you now that half the people at school who say's they've done it are lying. There is nothing wrong with keeping yourself."

She smiled a little, and I could slowly feel the tension between us fade.

"Let's just...keep this between us." I said "We can just go back to being...best friends. It'll never happen again."

It killed me to say that, because I wanted her. I wanted her so much. She meant everything to me.

"Thank you Edward." She said "We've been through so much together already...we can't let this bother us. It'll take a while...but things should go back to normal."

"Yeah..." I whispered "C'mon, let's get home. I promise I'll try and forget what you look like naked."

She laughed a little. A sound that I loved hearing.

"And I'll do the same." She stated.

Standing up, we headed out of Emmett's room. As we were heading out the door, she brushed past me; and electrical surge shooting through me, and it was then that I could tell this whole 'let's pretend nothing happened' plan was a lot easier said than done.  
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_**Bella's POV**_

Edward Cullen. My first time had been with him! I still couldn't believe it, and I was really ashamed of myself for getting so drunk where something like that happened. When I woke up on the floor, I was _very _confused. All I could remember was Edward and I hiding from Jamie Stevens. Funny how something as innocent as that could lead into something as...sinful as what we did. Ugh! I couldn't even remember what was said before it happened.

Edward and I sat and talked, which I will admit was awkward. All I wanted to do was rewind time and not drink! Was that too much to ask for? After deciding that this wasn't going to affect our friendship, Edward and I made our way downstairs. It was about 12 in the afternoon, and we realised that there were still a lot of people passed out everywhere, and some cleaning up but groaning about their hangovers. I must admit, I knew how they felt. My head was in agony. We made our way into the kitchen in silence, avoiding each other's gaze...well mainly me avoiding Edward's gaze. I knew I was desperate to try and forget what happened, but it was hard. I was basically being asked to forget the first time I ever had sex...not that I could remember much of it. All I could remember was a little bit of pain, moving around the room _a lot_ which caused all that mess and being...satisfied...not something I really wanted to experience right now. I wasn't ready for sex, but sex was ready for me. I just hope that no one would find out, especially Alice and Rose. They were trying to make me fall in love with Edward enough as it was already. I didn't want them asking for details on how he was in bed.

I took a seat at the breakfast bar, Edward making coffee. We were in the room less than a minute before Emmett came in, looking rather pissed off.

"You know someone took over my room last night!" He cried "I had to sleep in the frickin' bathtub!"

"Uh..." I stammered, not wanting to give anything away. I think Edward noticed my fear and interjected.

"Actually Emmett...Bella and I saw some people leave the room earlier on." He lied well "I think they've went home now though."

Emmett groaned, shifting uncomfortably.

"Oh...please don't tell me I'm going to have to burn my bed."

"You'll need to burn more than that." I heard Edward mumble as he took a sip of his now made coffee.

I couldn't help but give him a short glare, but thankfully, Emmett didn't hear his comment. Instead, he took a seat as Edward handed me a cup of coffee, which I gladly accepted and began to drink.

"So where did you two end up last night?" Emmett asked with a cheeky smile.

I almost drowned on my coffee there and then! Oh my gosh he knew! He heard us! He saw us go upstairs! This frickin' coffee is burning my throat! Someone spotted us and told him! I was brought out of my rambling thoughts when Edward patted my back. Oh, I wish he wouldn't touch me right now. I wasn't going to admit it to him...I was even reluctant to admit it to myself...but I enjoyed last night, probably a little bit too much.

"You OK?" The velvety voice of my friend asked.

"Yeah." I squeaked out, setting my cup down "Uh...we, we went upstairs to get away from Mike and Jamie." I began, not completely lying "We must have fallen asleep."

"Oh right." Emmett said, and as far as I could tell, he believed me "Mike Newton and Jamie Stevens need to get a life. When will they realise that you are not interested. If you want, Edward, Jasper and I could kick their asses for you. I told Coach Clapp that I'd work out a little bit more, and I'm pretty sure that beating them to a bloody pulp may come under that category."

I laughed a little. Emmett could always distract me from my problems, even when he didn't know it.  
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_**Edward's POV**_

We drove home together, trying to spark up a conversation, but every time we did it would quickly die out. More memories from last night began to flood back, like Bella admitting that she had had a crush on me when we were 12, and me admitting that I had a crush on her now...crush...more like head over heels. I just hoped that she couldn't remember my little declaration. It would make her feel even more awkward around me, and I didn't want that. I just prayed though that one day, be it now or later, Bella would return my feelings. I could see myself...years from now, married to her, living in a house next to Charlie so he could keep an eye on his (His choice, not ours), with a dog, great jobs...and maybe even a few kids, even though I have said I don't want any. If we did have children though, I would love them more than anything. Them and Bella.

We came to a stop outside our houses, but neither of us made a move to get out the car, knowing that our parents will be wondering why we didn't come back last night. Charlie would be the worst though, so I did feel for Bella.

"So..." I began "I'll call you later?"

"Yeah." She said, looking at me briefly "Maybe we can go somewhere and discuss this...thing...in more detail. Figure out everything that we're going to do."

"Sounds good." I said "After lunch?"

"Yeah."

I was just about to get out the car when Bella grabbed my wrist. I turned back to face her, her cheeks growing redder by the second.

"Edward..." She began nervously "I just want to say...I'm sorry for the way that I acted this morning. I was just really..."

"Don't apologize Bells." I said with a small smile "You had every right to be freaked out."

"Ok...But for what its worth...out of all the guys that I could have slept with last night...I'm glad it was you. At least it was with someone I love and trust."

She gave me one last smile before getting out the car and heading into her house. I couldn't help but feel all giddy once she left though. I mean, she basically admitted that she was happy we had had sex...ok, maybe not happy that sex was involved, but she was happy that it was me that it happened with. Smiling, I got out the car and headed into my house, preparing myself for the interrogation that I would receive from Carlisle and Esme...although, I could care less. I just couldn't wait to spend more time with Bella.  
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**A/N: So what did you think? I know that it may seem a little weird that their not extremely freaked out about what happened, but hopefully more will be uncovered in the next chapter. I know you guys are probably desperate for them to get together already, but I need to hold off a little while longer. I have the perfect chapter all planned out for the getting together part, so if you trust me, I promise you won't be disappointed. Please R&R. Thanks :o)**


	9. You Had Sex!

**A/N: Hi guys. Thank you so much for all your great reviews. After getting them though, I can tell that a few of you may not be happy with what will happen, but hopefully you'll still enjoy and review. I will admit that I hadn't read much on this board before starting my story, so I am really sorry if it's like other ones. I have no intention of stealing ideas from others. Someone copied my one of my stories once word for word and tried to pass it off as their own. I was sorta pissed. Anyway, enough with that. I hope you all enjoy this chapter. Please remember to review, that way I know what I can work on. Every review is welcome, just not really harsh ones :o)  
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_**Bella's POV**_

I quickly made my way up the stairs and into my warm house. My cheeks were still burning after what I had said to Edward. Ugh, what had possessed me to tell him that! He's probably even more freaked out than before. I was in the house literally two seconds before I was me by an angry looking Charlie. I had to admit though; I did find the sight quite funny. He was standing in the doorway of the kitchen wearing a stained apron, with his hands on his hips and a wooden spoon sticking out from under one. He looked just like a concerned mother.

"Where have you been young lady!?" He boomed, causing me to discreetly roll my eyes.

"I'm sorry Dad." I said softly "I was at the party and I was getting some hassle from a couple of boys. I hid out in Emmett's room with Edward and we ended up falling asleep. It won't happen again. I promise."

Charlie was never angry with me very long, and I think the fact that I mentioned Edward's name made him feel a little bit more at ease. He knew Edward was my 'protector', and trusted him with his own life let alone mine. If only he knew what happened, then he'd probably march over to his house and castrate him right now! Calm washed over his face, and he attempted to give a small smile.

"Ok then...well as long as you're alright." He said, trying to sound a little pissed, but failing miserably "Just don't let it happen again."

I gave a nod.

"I'm just going to go have a shower and get dressed." I began, heading up the stairs "Edward will be round after lunch. We're going to go and...talk about some stuff that happened at the party."

"Stuff?" Charlie questioned, worry evident in his voice.

Aw crap. I really need to think about what I'm going to say before I actually speak.

"Y-yeah." I stuttered "Uh...he wants to talk about Mike Newton and Jamie Stevens...find out a way to get them to leave me alone. You know Edward."

"Yeah." Charlie said with a chuckle "Any boy who even looks at you the wrong way he's willing to attach them to the bumper of his car and drive away...and we've all seen how Edward drives."

I laughed a little.

"Yeah. Like a maniac."

"You know the boy loves you?" My Dad said, causing my eyes to go wide.

"Huh!?" I said in shock.

"I said he loves you." My Dad began like it was the most casual thing in the world "I mean, he's always seen you as his baby sister. You should have seen how protective he was being when you went on that date."

Oh...I thought...I thought he meant Edward was actually _in_ love with me. That would be weird...right? I mean, Edward doesn't love me...in that way. At least...I don't think he does. Could he? Nah. It was impossible...wasn't it?  
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_**Edward's POV**_

After lunch, I called in for Bella, wanting to avoid Charlie as much as possible. You guys already know I don't think before I speak. I didn't want to give anything away. When I had gone home, my mother Esme immediately enveloped me in a huge hug, telling me off for not calling her, but everything was soon forgotten. Now, Bella and I were making our way through the forest to a meadow that we had found when we were just little kids. It was a place we kept secret from everyone else and went to when we needed to think. We walked in silence, but I couldn't help but steal glances at Bella every few minutes. I could tell she was deep in thought, watching her feet as she walked...but that didn't stop her from tripping.

Catching her foot on a tree root, Bella went flying, closing her eyes expecting to hit the ground with a hard thump, but instead I grabbed her around the waist and pulled her in close to me. I felt her whole body tense up at my touch, wondering how long this would last for. Would we _ever _be the same again? Clearing her throat, she mumbled a small 'thank you' before continuing on in our journey. It wasn't long before we came to the clearing. We didn't say anything at all as we took a seat in the grass, lying back to look up at the sky.

"So..." Bella finally began, turning her head to look at me.

"So..." I did the same, looking at her "...Tell me the truth...are you freaked out to be around me just now?"

She sighed, and I was ready for her to say 'yes', but...

"No Edward." She began softly, sitting up, me following her actions "It's just...we've known each other our entire lives...I'm more shocked than anything. It's like Charlie has turned round and told me he's...GAY! Or something like that. Just...unbelievable."

I felt like shit at the fact that I was sorta glad that it happened.

"I just..." She continued "I don't want to lose you. You've always been there...and I want to keep it that way."

I gave a small smile, scooting closer to her.

"You could never lose me." I said, wrapping an arm round her "I would never...I _could _never stop being your friend...You fall over too easily and I'm the one who always catches you. Imagine what would happen if I wasn't here."

"Hey." She said with a chuckle, playfully punching my shoulder. I was just happy that the awkwardness was fading and we were falling back into our usual 'Edward Bella Banter'.

I couldn't help but smile when she did. I loved seeing her smile. It made my day and was probably one of the easiest things I could do. Make her smile.

'_Ugh! Just tell her how you feel!' _Came the little voice in my head

No. I couldn't tell her how I felt. C'mon, I don't want to freak her out.

'_Tell her or I will!' _The little voice said again.

Stupid voice. You're talking crazy!

'_Crazy!? That's rich coming from the guy who's arguing with himself!'_

Clearing my head, I looked back at Bella, who scooted a little closer to me, resting her head on my shoulder.

"Like we agreed..." She began "Just keep it between us?"

"Yeah...between us."  
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_**Bella's POV**_

Edward and I walked home, after a few hours of talking in the meadow. By the end of our long conversations about anything and everything, we were basically back to normal, which I found very strange. I won't deny it. Thoughts had run through my head in the past. 'What If' thoughts, like what if Edward and I did sleep together one day, would we ever be the same? I always suspected that we wouldn't, but now I had just been proven wrong. We walked back through the woods, Edward never letting go of my hand, knowing I would trip and fall if he did. He had once threatened to wrap me in bubble wrap before taking me anywhere, 'just to be on the safe side' he would say. We approached our houses after about an hour or walking, and it was beginning to get dark and rain.

Edward walked me up my porch steps, never letting go of my hand until I was safely at my door. He stuffed his hands in his pockets, rocking on the balls of his feet. He was acting like a 14 year old boy who's just back from his first date. I couldn't help but smile at his 'innocence'. I opened my mouth to speak, just as a flash of lightning soared across the sky, and a crack of thunder was heard overhead. That was enough to have me buried into Edward's chest, hiding my face. It was no secret that I was terrified of thunder and lightning. I could hear him laughing, a deep rumble in his chest. Arrogant prick!

"It's not funny." I mumbled as he carried me through my front door "It's a real phobia!"

"Bells." Edward said, closing the front door behind him, a huge smile on his face "I know you're scared, and really... I sympathise with that...but it doesn't stop it from being fucking hilarious."

"Cullen. Language." I turned to see my Dad sitting at the kitchen table, looking up from a paper.

"Sorry sir." Edward said with a sheepish grin, but he knew my Dad didn't really mind. I swear, sometimes I think my Dad may actually love Edward more than me.

"So..." Charlie began, standing up and pulling a beer from the fridge "You staying for dinner boy?"

"Uh...yeah sure. Sounds good."

I cooked dinner for the three of us as Charlie and Edward sat at the table, Edward talking excitedly about something stupid probably. I just smirked and rolled my eyes as I plated up the food. We sat and ate for a while, enjoying a friendly conversation about school and how happy we were that the egg was gone...but then Charlie brought up a topic that I really wanted to forget about. That stupid party that stupid Emmett threw because he's stupid!

"So, did the two of you have fun last night?" My Dad asked, popping some more food into his mouth.

"It was..." Edward began "Different...lots of people."

"Yeah." I chimed in, trying to act casual "When Edward and I woke up this morning, loads of people were passed out everywhere. On the stairs, in the living room and some were even in the garden!"

"Bells..." Edward mumbled "Telling your Dad, who by the way, is the Chief of police that there was a lot of underage drinking, is probably not the smartest thing in the world."

"As long as my baby girl wasn't drinking, then I think I'll live."

"Dad!" I groaned, closing my eyes and covering my hands with my face "Can we talk about something else please?"

"Actually..." Charlie began, all of a sudden becoming very nervous "I want to talk to the both of you about something."

Oh no...He was not going there!

"Dad..." I began with a nervous laugh "Please...don't."

"No Bells..." Charlie said "I know what goes on at parties like these, and If the two of you are going to be going to them then I want you to make sure that you are...well...being safe."

"DAD!" I yelled embarrassed, Edward blushing too.

"Now now." He said "I'm not saying that you're doing...anything together...and I don't really want to think of you doing anything at all...but you need to know these things."

"Please just let me die now." I mumbled to myself, burying my face in my hands before looking back up at my Dad "Dad...we are not doing any of...that stuff..."

LIE!

"So...you can stop now."

"..Well then." He said quietly, standing up.

"What brought this topic up?" Edward asked, speaking for the first time in what felt like years.

"Well..." My Dad began, rubbing the back of his neck "I saw an article in the paper about a young girl about your age, who just gave birth to triplets...I guess I was just being a paranoid father...sorry if I made you kids uncomfortable."

"It's alright Mr. S." Edward said "That's what parents do."  
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_**Edward's POV**_

When school rolled by, everything between Bella and I was put in the past. It had been a couple of days since the party, and we had spent loads of time together. But I had to admit, trying to keep the whole thing a secret was turning out to be really hard, and it was even harder to try and not tell Bella how I was feeling. Well, we walked into school, my arm draped over her shoulder as we entered the cafeteria to find Emmett, Rose, Alice and Jasper all sitting round our usual table talking about the party. We said a quick 'hello', taking a seat with the rest and that's when it happened. Alice immediately stopped talking to Jasper, looked at Bella with a small smirk and wide eyes and said the one sentence that I had hoped would never leave her mouth.

"You had sex!"

How does she know these things!? It's like she's psychic or something. I swear, it can get a little creepy sometimes...like now for instance.

"What?" Bella asked with a little laugh, trying to remain calm and natural "No I didn't. W-Why would you even think that?"

A blush began to creep up on her cheeks. The blush that usually gave everything away.

"Yes you did!" Rosalie joined in, leaning across the table excitedly "You are practically glowing! Tell us everything!"

"You know what...I'm going to go." I said, standing up, Emmett and Jasper following.

We walked to the other side of the cafeteria, taking a seat on the table in the furthest away corner. I glanced over at Bella, watching as Alice and Rosalie pried for information. I really hope Bella wouldn't cave. I must have been staring for a while, because I was brought out of my daze when I saw a huge hand being waved in front of my face.

"Earth to Eddie." I heard Emmett say with a smirk.

"Don't call me that." I said, glaring at him a little.

"Oh...someone's touchy." Jasper smiled "Could this be because Bella may have done the nasty with someone?"

"Shut up." I said, slouching in my seat.

"You know...I bet it was Jamie..." Emmett said, looking at Jasper.

"Or Mike..." Jasper replied.

"Or maybe..." Emmett went to say, but I cut him off.

"It was me!" I said in a harsh whisper "OK. Bella and I got drunk at the party and got a little...friendly."

Now I was in deep shit. I looked over at Jasper and Emmett, only to see them smirking with their arms crossed over their chests, looking at me smugly. Ok...now I was confused.

"W-what?" I asked, looking between the two.

"We knew it was you..." Jasper began "We just wanted to see your face."

"It was priceless." Emmett laughed.

I groaned and covered my face with my hands. Bella and my secret was quickly becoming the worst kept secret of the century.  
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**A/N: So what did you think? Please R&R and tell me. Let's see if I can get any closer to the 200 review mark ;o)**

**Thanks :o)**


	10. Counting To Ten!

**A/N: Oh my gosh guys! 52 reviews, and over the 200 mark! Thank you so much. Really, I had no idea my fic would be liked this much. What a confidence boost :o)**

**This chapter is for everyone. Hope you enjoy :o)  
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_**Bella's POV**_

He left me! That asshole that I call a 'friend' left me sitting at the table with Alice and Rosalie, to discuss the matter that I was hoping to put behind me! Oh I hate Edward right now! I really really hate him. He is going to pay! Alice and Rosalie were leaning right over the table, huge grins on their faces. I couldn't believe it. I had basically sat at the table for a second and Alice blurts out (In front of everyone I might add) 'You had sex!'. Grr...Stupid psychic pixie bitch! I sat back a little, hoping that the blush that had been covering my cheeks had disappeared.

"Spill." Alice said, a little too excitedly.

"No..." I said, crossing my arms over my chest "I didn't do anything."

It wasn't really a lie...Ok, it was, but I couldn't _remember_ doing anything...much.

"Bella." Rosalie began "We have all been very good friends for years, and as very good friends, we are obligated to fill each other in on these sort of details."

"Why!?" I almost shouted "You guys didn't tell me when you lost your virginity. I had to walk in on you and find out for myself..."

I shuddered at the thought. I still couldn't get the mental image of Emmett's ass out of my head.

"HA!" Alice cried, pointing at me "So you _did _have sex."

I was never getting out of this.

"Fine...if you _must _know...yes, I did. But it was a stupid drunken mistake, no it will not be happening again, and hell no you cannot know who it was with."

"Aw Bella!" They whined like a couple of two year olds "Please."

"Nope." I said, popping the 'p' "Now if you will excuse me I have to get to biology."

I stood up as the bell rang, heading for biology. Oh Edward was going to get it!  
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_**Edward's POV**_

The bell rang as Emmett, Jasper and I stood up. They had sat making a fool of me for a while, saying that I was falling in love with Bella (although I had already fallen) and were making stupid kissy faces, receiving some strange looks from fellow students passing by.

"Now you can't tell anyone." I said a little panicked "Seriously, if anyone finds out, Bella will rip my nuts off and force feed me them."

"Dude." Jasper began "Don't worry. We won't tell...but we suggest that you tell Bella that we know."

"Yeah." Emmett Piped in "For your own safety Dude."

I nodded, thanked my friends and headed for Biology. I was happy; Bella was in my class, so it gave me time to talk to her...I just had to figure out what to say first. I entered the class room, surprisingly on time for once, and took my usual seat next to Bella...only to be slapped up the side of the head.

"Ow!" I cried, rubbing the sore part "What the hell was that for!?"

"That was for leaving me to deal with Alice and Rosalie by myself!" She snapped.

"I thought you didn't want them to know about us...wouldn't it look strange if I began to defend you?"

She was silent for a minute, and I could tell that she was trying to think of a comeback. I couldn't help but smirk. Bella was the 'even if I'm wrong, I'm right' type of person. But that was just another thing I loved about her. She rolled her eyes at my smile, but then I remembered. Two people already knew, and it was my job to tell her. I just had to make sure all sharp objects were out the way before I did.

I opened my mouth to speak, but just as I did our teacher walked through, a girl following behind him. She was sorta pretty. Long strawberry blonde hair and blue eyes...but to me, Bella would always be on the top of 'Most Stunning Girls in the World' list. She _was _ the most beautiful girl in the world...Man, I really am starting to sound like a girl.

"Good morning class." Mr Banner began, waking up a lot of us with his loud voice "We have a new student today. This is Tanya Denali, I expect you all to treat her nicely and help her out."

She looked at me, giving a small smile and a little wink.

"Mr Cullen." Mr Banner said "Please move next to Mr Newton, and Miss Denali you can take a seat next to Miss Swan."

WHAT!? No, no I am not sitting next to Newton! No way in hell am I sitting next to him!

"Mr Cullen!" My prick of a teacher said sternly "Move. Now!"

Grumbling, I grabbed my books, gaining a 'good luck' from Bella before I reluctantly went to sit next to the love of my life's stalker.

"Cullen." Mike Sneered.

"Newton." I replied in the same tone "You don't talk to me, I won't talk to you and I'm sure we'll get on just fine."  
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_**Bella's POV**_

Tanya came and sat next to me, giving me a small smile. She seemed nice enough, but I didn't want her sitting next to me. I wanted Edward next to me. She looked stunning of course, making me look even plainer than I already was. Great. Something new to look forward to when I come to this class. I just gave her a small smile in return. I might as well try and be nice. After we began our work, Tanya began to talk to me. Even her voice was perfect, something else to feel uncomfortable about.

"So...Bella..." She began, looking at the front of my jotter for my first name "Who was the cute guy who was sitting next to you?"

"Oh him?" I asked, glancing over at Edward, who was currently in a 'heated' conversation with Mike "That's Edward Cullen."

"He's so hot." She said in a dreamy voice "Is he single? Please tell me he's single!"

Oh I hate her already! I just want to rip every perfect strand of hair from her head! Stop looking at him as if he's a piece of meat!

"No." I said

Wait...What!? Edward _is_ single. What the hell am I doing!?

"Who's the girl I'm going to have to fight for him then?" Ugh. She's acting like he's a toy!

"Me." I said sternly

Ok! Now I was losing it. What the hell possessed me to tell the new girl that I'm Edward's girlfriend!?

"Really?" She asked, in confusion "You don't really seem like the type of person someone like him would go for."

Bitch! I just scoffed a little and got on with my work...and that's when I heard it. A loud smack and then a crash coming from the other side of the room. Turning round, I saw Mike on the ground, Edward towering over him with his fist clenched. Mike was groaning in pain, clutching the side of his face. Did Edward enjoy punching people? I swear, it was like it was turning into his favourite past time. First Jamie, and now Mike. Who's next?...Tanya I hope. I don't even know the girl and already she's getting on my nerves.

"Cullen! Are you fucking crazy!?" I heard my stalker cry with a lisp, sitting up a little from his position on the floor "I think I bit my tongue!"

"Wow." I heard Tanya say with a smile "He's the bad boy type too...me like."

I think I'm going to be sick if she carries on like this.

"MR CULLEN!" Mr Banner cried "Principles office! Now!"

I watched as Edward didn't even put up a fight. All he did was grab his books and storm out the class, slamming the door behind him as he went. I wonder what had caused him to get so angry that he punched someone in school. Raising my hand, I caught my teacher's attention.

"What is it Miss Swan?" He said sounding rather pissed off as he helped Mike to his feet.

"Can I go to the bathroom?" I asked.

"Immediately after Mr Cullen leaves." He stated "Nice try. No."

"That's fine." I said "Then can you point me in the direction where I can throw up?"

"Eww." Tanya said, scooting further away "Please, just let her go already."

Rolling his eyes and sighing, Mr Banner excused me. I got up and immediately started running. Once I was out the class room I saw Edward trudging down the halls.  
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_**Edward's POV**_

That was it! Mike had pushed me too far. I had done what Mr. Banner had asked, and went and sat next to him. All I wanted was for the blonde idiot to stay quiet...but no! He leaned in, giving a big whiff of his coffee breath. Nice huh? I was hoping and praying that he wouldn't talk to me, but again my wish hadn't come true.

"Dude..." He began, suddenly acting like we were lifelong friends "You still dating Bella?"

"Why?" I asked, remembering the little show we had put on for Mike.

"Cause if you're not, I'm going to ask her out."

Might have guessed.

"Mike." I said, turning to face him and talking quietly "Talk to her, and I'll kill you...look at her, and I'll kill you...Hell! Breathe on her and I'll kill you."

"Cullen..." Mike began with a sly smirk "Admit it...if you were in my position, you would do the exact same thing when it came to someone like Bella."

You know, they say counting to ten helps someone when their angry...I wonder if it works.

"What...with her lovely brown hair..." Mike continued

_One...two..._

"Big beautiful eyes..."

_Three...four...five..._

"And a sweet, tight ass."

Fuck counting to ten! I stood up and punched him, sending him soaring to the floor. Now _that _helped. No one was going to talk about my friend like that. Perverted prick!

So here I was, trudging down the halls a slow as possible towards the principal's office, wishing I had done more than that to Newton. I was just about to turn a corner to head downstairs, but stopped when I heard my name being called from behind. Turning a saw Bella running towards me, and just as she was coming to a halt, she tripped on her batman laces, and went flying, thankfully straight into my arms. I gave her a crooked smile as she blushed and stood up straight.

"What happened back there?" She asked me as we began to walk down the stairs.

"Newton was..." Should I tell her what he said? "He was being a bit of an asshole."

She wasn't stupid though...she probably knew that it had something to do with her.

"You feeling better now?" She asked with a small smile.

"A little" I said, returning the smile. "So what's your new lab partner like then?"

At this, I saw anger flash in Bella's eyes.

"She's a complete bitch." She said, crossing her arms over her chest "Oh...and a word of warning, she is already 'in love' with you. Just thought you should know."

"Yeah well I'm not interested." I said, causing her to look up at me.

"Really? Why?" She seemed really surprised for some reason.

"Because...she's not my type...I prefer brunettes."

What the hell is wrong with me!? I'm practically confessing I like her...well not quite, but she's smart! She'll read between the lines! But she never said anything. I just glanced down at her to see her staring straight ahead, a small smile playing at the corners of her lips and a slight blush on her cheek...Had I had an effect on her!? We came to a stop outside the Principal's office, and I was very reluctant to go in, knowing that I was in deep trouble. Let's just say that this wasn't the worst thing I had done in school.

"I'll wait for you out here." Bella said sweetly.

"OK...I'll try not be too long."

I walked into the large office, only for Fork High Schools tiny principal, Mrs. Gables to look up at me from her computer. She took her glasses off, sighing and motioning for me to sit down. That seat had probably met my ass more times than any other student.

"Mr Cullen." She said "What happened this time?"

"Punched Mike Newton." I snorted, lowering myself in my seat.

"You and that boy never get on." She mumbled, but I think she was talking more to herself than to me "Edward...I'm sorry, but this is the last straw. I'm going to have to suspend you."

"WHAT!?" I cried, standing up "Mrs. Gables, you can't! All I did was punch him because he was talking bad about my friend!"

"Yes, I know, but on top of the food fight you started, the vandalism to the schools mini bus and the fire you started in the maths department, I think it is time I took some action. I have practically let you away with murder so far."

"To be fair to me though, I did not mean to start that fire...and I still maintain that the mini bus rolled down that hill on its own."

She just gave me a sad smile.

"I'll call your parents to come pick you up." She said, ignoring everything that I said "You can come back in a week."

I gave a small groan, and got up. Bella was waiting outside like she had promised, and was surprised to see that I was out so quickly.

"So..." She said with a smirk "What's the damage. Detention? Lunch room duty?"

"Suspension." I said, her eyes going wide "Looks like you'll be stuck with Tanya by yourself this week."  
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**A/N: So what did you think? I guess this is a little fill in chapter. Hope you enjoyed it though. Please review and tell me what you liked. The more reviews I get the more I want to write, and the more I write, the more updates. Lol. Thanks ;o)**


	11. Asking Bella out!

**A/N: Hi guys. Thank you so much for those wonderful reviews! I'm so glad you liked it. I just had to throw the whole 'Tanya' thing in. Nothing beats a good love triangle. Lol. Hope you enjoy this chapter :o)  
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_**Edward's POV**_

It had only been two days! Two days and I was already going out of my mind! When my Mom had found out about the suspension, she went ballistic! Seriously, I thought her head was going to explode. That would be one thing my Dad wouldn't be able to fix. And speaking of my Dad, his reaction was even worse. All he did was stand there, looking at me with a saddened expression before gently shaking his head and saying _'Oh Edward...I'm very disappointed'_. I hate it when my parents are 'disappointed' in me. It always seems worse than being yelled at. My punishment wasn't too great either. Now I'm grounded for a week, banned from playing the Xbox, Wii, iTunes, and all my computer rights have been taken away from me. Not only that, but Mom had went so crazy one day, she actually cut through the cable of my TV! But the worst part was...I wasn't allowed to go over to Bella's house until I was back at school...but they didn't say anything about her not allowed to come over here. I pulled out my phone, thankful that school had been over for 2 hours.

_**Slowly dying. Come Save Me!**_

I finished texting her, waiting for a reply, but I got nothing. Instead, a knock on my window was heard. Finally! Some contact with the outside world! Hurrying off my bed, I opened the window to see Bella on the trellis with a bright smile, a bag slung over one shoulder.

"Someone order a hero?" She asked.

I smiled, taking her hand and helping her through the window. She walked over to the bed, dumping her bag on it before climbing on top.

"What'd you bring me?" I asked, coming to sit next to her.

"Lots of stuff that will keep you amused." She said, emptying the contents out.

There were books I hadn't read yet, a portable DVD player, loads of movies, and a notebook with some pens.

"Thought you may want to write some new songs." She said, handing me the notebook.

"Thanks."

Bella was one of the few people in the world who knew my love for music. I was always writing down lyrics, or creating melodies. Turned out I was pretty damn good at it too. I even wrote Bella a lullaby when we were 12. She still played it when she couldn't sleep at night. I picked up one of the books to read the blurb as she pulled out a flat box from her bag.

"And these are from...Tanya." She said a little bitterly, handing me a box of chocolates "She says she can't wait to see you again."

"Really?" I asked with a smirk, taking the box from her hand and opening it "Hey...who ate the orange ones!?"

"Me, sorry." She said "Had a little bit of a craving for them...But back to the Tanya issue, I don't like her."

I laughed. I hadn't met a girl who Bella had hated so quickly in all my life.

"What's with you?" I asked with a chuckle, taking a piece of candy and handing her the box "What did she do to piss you off so much?"

"Ok...don't get mad" She began, Looking a bit nervous "But she asked if you had a girlfriend and I said 'yes'...but I said that_ I_ was your girlfriend, and _Then _she says she didn't think someone like you would go for someone like me! I mean...what's wrong with me!? I know I'm not the most attractive girl there is, and yes she is probably a lot prettier than me, but c'mon...are looks everything!?"

I was smirking at the end of her rant (the rant she had said in one breath, getting louder with each word). How could she not think she was beautiful? She was a lot better looking than Tanya. I can tell you that. But the thing that had made me more alert was when she said that she was my 'girlfriend'. Now that was something I could get used to hearing...But I knew it was only to keep the fake looking blonde away...But why didn't she say someone else? Make up someone? Could Bella like me the way I like her?

"Why are you smiling!?" She asked, bringing me out of my thoughts.

"No reason..." I lied perfectly "I just wish you could see what I see when I look at you."

She blushed a little and gave a small smile, looking down and then back up.

"...You're not going to...date her...are you?"

"No." I said with a scoff "And thanks...for covering for me."

"No problem...but can you do me a favour?"

"Anything..." I responded.

"Can you maybe be normal for at least five seconds and NOT get into trouble!? If you ever leave me alone with Tanya again, I swear, I will kill you."

I laughed at her seriousness.

"I'll try."  
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_**Bella's POV**_

Finally! The week was up, and Edward was back at school, much to my happiness. I stood outside the Principal's office, leaning against the wall and waiting for Edward to come out. He was taking _forever_. I was starving and wanted to get something to eat before class started. I sighed deeply, looking around the hall trying to keep myself amused. A smile soon spread across my face however when I saw Mike Newton head in my direction. I know what you're thinking...Me smiling and Mike Newton should not be used in the same sentence...but Edward had seriously screwed up his face. He had a black eye and a swollen cheek. Personally, I thought he looked better than ever. Unfortunately, I smiled a millisecond too long, because the boy obviously got the wrong idea.

"Bella..." He smirked, coming to stand next to me.

I immediately frowned when he reached out and began to play with a strand of my hair. I almost felt sorry for the guy though when Edward came out from the office. I saw his jaw clench as he wrapped an arm round my waist, pulling me in a little closer for protection.

"Newton." I responded "Did you want something?"

"Baby..." He began, trying to sound 'manly' "If I saw you naked, I'd die from happiness."

I swear I thought I heard Edward growl at this random comment, but I didn't glare at Mike, punch him or harm him in any physical way. Instead, I just smiled.

"Well Mike..." I began "If I saw you naked, I'd probably die from laughter."

At this Edward began to laugh. Why couldn't Mike get it through his head? I wasn't interested, and as far as he knew I was 'dating' Edward. My Lord I think the guy must have been hit on the head...repeatedly, because no one is **that **stupid. I didn't wait for Mike to respond, instead, I took hold of Edward's hand that was round my waist, and began to pull him down the hall. When we rounded the corner, out of Mike Newton's/Pervert stalker's sight, I dropped Edward's hand.

"I'm thinking it's time I get a restraining order...don't you think?" I asked, looking up at my handsome friend.

Handsome? Ok, Edward was good looking..._very _good looking, but I never described him like that to myself...he was always just...Edward. Although I must admit, when you've seen the boy naked, you can't help but NOT compliment him. All I can say is 'Well done' to the big chief in the sky. We headed into the cafeteria, Edward going over to sit with the rest at the table as I went to get something to eat. At that thought of Edward, my mind couldn't help but wander back to the night of the party. It would be two weeks this Friday since it happened...not like I was keeping track or anything. We hadn't spoken about it to anyone...at least I hadn't, but I did have a sneaky suspicion that Jasper and Emmett were aware that something was going on. I guess I was going to have to ask Edward about it.

The day went by quite quickly (much to my liking), and pretty soon I was in Biology. I was extremely happy at the fact that Mr. Banner had realised the danger of Edward sitting next to Mike Newton, so he switched the seats back. HA! Now Tanya was with the stalker. What the perfect match. Two annoying blondes together (I hope that came out sounding cute, supportive and hopeful). I looked over at my side, seeing Edward glancing at me. I gave him a smile. I couldn't have asked for a better friend.  
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_**Edward's POV**_

Ask her out...ask her out... just grow some balls and ask her the fuck out! You know you like her...hell; apparently the whole school knows you like her...well, except maybe her. I'm sorry, but I thought it was us men that were supposed to be the oblivious ones. Biology came and went like a breeze, and soon it was time to head home. I didn't feel up to going to the diner today. Instead, I was trying to think of ways to ask Bella out. I was done torturing myself. I mean, what's the worst that could happen? She say's no and we go back to being friends. Hell, we had sex and that hadn't affected our friendship, I don't really think that asking for a date would do much damage now.

We walked down the hall towards the parking lot, keeping a friendly banter going. I didn't want to ask her in front of everyone, so I waited until we were in the car before opening my mouth, but she beat me to the punch and brought up a different subject.

"So are we going to the diner?" She asked with a smile.

"Actually...I was wondering if I could talk to you." I began, starting to get a little nervous.

"Of course." She said in a sweet voice "Shoot."

I took a deep breath. This had all seemed so much easier in my head.

"How long have we known each other?" I asked.

"Uh...16 years." Bella said a little bit shocked that it had been that long.

"And...We're close aren't we?" Ok, you sound like an idiot Cullen.

"I should hope so." Bella began, obviously a little confused "I mean...we are next door neighbours, go to school together every day, not to mention it, best friends...Are you OK? You're acting...really strange"

"Uh yeah." I said "I'm fine..." I let out a breath that I didn't know I was holding in "Bella, I've got to ask you something."

"Ok...what is it?"

"I was wondering if maybe you would like to go-"

But I was cut off when I heard a loud rattle on my window. Turning, I saw Emmett and Jasper outside. I gave a frustrated sigh, wound down the window and hung out.

"What?" I asked, a little less than friendly.

"We're going to the diner. C'mon hurry up, you're blocking us in."

"Guy's." I began "I don't really feel up to going today...Kinda busy."

"That's cool." Emmett said "Hey Bella" he peered in through the window "We're going to the diner. You wanna ride with us since Edward isn't coming?"

WHAT!?

"Yeah cool." Bella said, climbing out the car "We can finish this later, can't we Edward?"

NO! IT CAN'T!

"Uh...yeah, sure."

She gave me a small smile, peck on the cheek and shut the door. I really hate Emmett right now. This is the sort of thing that sends people to hell! Giving a frustrated sigh, I switched on the engine and headed home. I really wish that my so called 'friends' realised that Bella was involved in my busy plans. But that wasn't going to stop me. I was going to ask Bella out before the day was out if it killed me!  
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**A/N: I know, kinda short, but I had to leave it there. Please R&R. I know Mike seems a little persistent and stupid in this fic, but I'm basing him off of a boy who was like that with me for years.**

**And please check out my other Twilight fic 'Save Me'. I need to hear what people think so I can continue it. Thanks :o)**


	12. Four Times!

**A/N: Aw guy's, thanks for all the reviews. I'm really glad you liked the last chapter :o) **

**I definitely know where I'm going with this story, so if you're really enjoying it, you'll be happy to know that It's got a long way yet :o)**

**I'm thinking it'll be over 30 chapters...maybe. I do change my mind a lot. Lol. Would you still read if it was that long?  
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_**Edward's POV**_

"Stupid Emmett!" I muttered, slamming the car door shut and heading up the driveway to my empty house "He should do humanity a favour and drive off a cliff. A very tall cliff with big jaggy rocks at the bottom!"

"Talking to yourself son?" I heard the voice of Charlie.

I turned to see Mr. S sitting on the stair of his porch, reading a paper and drinking a cup of coffee. For once it had been a nice day in Fork's. Not one drop of rain at all. Huffing, I made my way over to my '2nd father' as I used to call him, taking a seat next to him.

"Of course I'm talking to myself." I began "Who else can I trust?"

He chuckled, folding his paper up and sitting it behind him, the cup quickly following. Oh great. He was about to go all 'Oprah' on me. He gave a small sigh, a hint of a smirk playing at the corner of his lips. I knew what was coming...I just didn't know if I should tell him, but I was hiding so much these days, it was starting to get a little hard to keep it all bottled up. What was the harm?

"Ok...I really like someone." I began, turning a little to face Charlie "And I think that there is a very good chance that she may like me back. So today, I was about to ask her on a date, and just as I was going in for the kill, Emmett came up and ruined EVERYTHING!"

"That sounds like Emmett." Charlie laughed "Well boy, all you do is catch her when she's alone, and try again...So who's the lucky girl anyway?"

Ah crap...

"Uh..." I began "I can't say...Secret."

"Ah." Charlie said with a nod "Do I know her?"

Oh yeah you know her.

"Maybe..." I lied "I don't know...probably not."

I highly doubt it. I mean, all he does is share a house, car and DNA with her. Not much. That could be _anyone_.

"Well, let me know how it works out..." He said, standing up "Oh, speaking of girls, where's Bella?"

"At the diner with the guys." I said "Do you want me to pick her up for you?"

"That would be great son. I need to head back out to work. We had a big day. All hands on deck."

I was happy that Charlie asked me to pick Bella up. That meant that she would be in my car, alone with me...maybe I should rephrase that. We'll manage to talk without any interruptions from someone like Emmett, who I wasn't going to forgive until after my make out session with Bella...when I ask her out...and if she say's yes. I got in my car after a while, and began to make my way over to the diner, giving myself a little pep talk on the way. I didn't know why I was so nervous...I think it was maybe because Bella was unlike most other girls, and the fact that I had a history with her. She wasn't just going to be one of those girls who I would keep around until I got bored. She was the one...I know, I'm getting cheesier every day.

I continued to get lost in my thoughts until I came to a stop outside the diner. Emmett's big jeep was parked outside, taking up most of the room. I headed inside, seeing them sitting at our usual table, Rosalie throwing fries at Emmett, and Alice running off towards the bathroom (Jasper quickly following).

"Hey guys." I said, grabbing a chair from another table and bringing it to the end of theirs, sitting at on it backwards "What's up with Alice?"

"Hey." Bella began, placing her plate of fries between us so I could share "She's been really sick the past few hours, throwing up everywhere...I didn't think you were coming. Change your plans?"

"Yeah." I said, grabbing a handful of the fries "But I can't stay...and neither can you."

"My Dad asked you to pick me up didn't he?"

She didn't wait for an answer, all she did was sigh, roll her eyes and grab her jacket, saying goodbye to everyone.

We walked out to the car, my nerves picking up again. What if she laughs at me? Ugh, Cullen stop acting like a girl! I opened the door for her, giving her a small smile in which she returned before she climbed in. This was it...no going back.  
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_**Bella's POV**_

I was happy to see Edward. I felt a little guilty after leaving him like that. He seemed like he had something important to say...OH MY GOSH! He's dating Tanya! That has got to be the reason. Why would he be all nervous? He said to me that he wouldn't go out with her, but he is and he's scared to tell me. That dick! Wait...why am I so angry? Edward can date whoever the hell he wants...but still, it's Tanya...and we only had sex for the first time ever a week and a half ago! Talk about moving on fast! I sat in the car with my arms crossed over my chest, seriously contemplating going over to Tanya's with a rocket and launching her out into space...but then again she'd still be too close.

Edward got into the car, but didn't turn on the engine right away...instead, he turned to face me. Ah hell, he was going to tell me now!

"Bella..." He began in a velvety voice "I have something I want to ask you..."

Oh man...he's going to ask me if I'm alright with the idea...and I'm going to have to be a good friend and say 'yes'.

"Sure Edward...what is it?" I asked trying to sound casual instead of pissed.

"Ok...here it goes..." He opened his mouth to speak, but just as he went to tell me the dreaded news, his phone went off.

"You have got to be fucking kidding me!" He exclaimed, taking his phone out from his pocket and flipping it open "WHAT!...No Emmett!...I'm still outside..." I watched as Edward sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose "Yeah sure...I'll drop it off tonight."

Flipping his phone shut, Edward turned on the engine, and was soon heading away from the diner. Ugh...why wasn't he telling me now!? The suspense is killing me.

"Emmett left his PSP at my place. Now I have to drop it off back at his place tonight."

"You don't sound very happy." I said a little confused. Usually Edward loves spending time at Emmett's. They're like brothers.

"Well... I was actually hoping that I would have plans for later on tonight." He said. Now I was even more confused.

"So...what was it that you wanted to ask me?" I still wasn't sure if I wanted to hear it.

He turned to look at me, nerves taking over him again. He was always so confident and in charge. It's like he has switched places with me!

"I...I was wondering if...you know if you..."

But I had to cut him off, as much as I hated to.

"EDWARD!" I cried "Watch the road!"

Both of us stared ahead, letting out a scream when we saw that Edward had driven onto the wrong lane while 'talking' to me, and now we were currently heading towards an oncoming truck! I quickly swerved just before we collided with the truck, our bodies still riddled with shock.

"Maybe...wait till we get home." I stuttered out.

"G-good Idea."  
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_**Edward's POV**_

That went better than expected. I go to ask her out, and in the process nearly get us killed. Wow, what a great friend I am. And to top everything, Emmett ruins yet _another _attempt, and this time he wasn't even present to do it! I sat mainly in silence the rest of the road home, Bella humming along to the radio. I came to a stop outside our houses, both of us getting out the car. I walked round to her side, grabbing her wrist before she headed inside.

"Bells..." I began, pulling her back "I need to ask you that thing...remember?"

"Oh yeah." She said, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear "What is it? Is something wrong?"

"No." I began "Nothing's wrong. I just...I was wondering if maybe you'd..."

But once again I was cut off! Seriously! Why does this happen every time I go to ask her!? The sound of Bella's front door opening caused her to turn round before I was finished, and there, standing on her porch was Jacob Black, a big goofy smile on his face.

"Bells!" He cried happily "Long time no see."

"Jake!" She exclaimed, running up the stairs to give him a hug "How did you get in. Charlie isn't here."

"He let me in just before he left. Said I could wait for you as long as I didn't set the house on fire like _someone _we know."

Both of them turned to face me at this comment.

"How many times do I have to apologize for that!?" I asked, walking towards them "How was I supposed to know that flammable and inflammable meant the same?"

Bella just chuckled as Jacob gave an uncomfortable smile. Like I've said before, it was no secret that we didn't really get on, but we tried for Bella's sake. But right now, all I wanted to do was kick him. Four times I've went to ask her out! And four times I've been interrupted! Right now I feel like God's personal joke.

"Jake." I said politely, when I reached them.

"Cullen." He replied.

I'm thinking that Bella could sense the tension, because she immediately started asking a load of random questions, like why is the sky blue? Or, why is toothpaste called toothpaste and not meatloaf?

Jacob was there for what felt like hours, but thankfully he soon left, leaving Bella and I alone once more. This was it. No one was going to get in my way this time. I made sure my cell was off, accidentally on purpose knocked Bella's phone off the hook, and made sure Charlie wasn't due home for another few hours. I took a deep breath as we made our way upstairs. For some reason the journey to her room felt a lot longer than it usually did. We finally reached it, Bella putting on some music before collapsing onto her bed and sighing in content. I took a seat next to her, and at this she sat up.

"So...what was it that you want to ask me earlier?" For some reason she looked a little...worried.

Well...here goes nothing.

"Ok...here it goes..." I said with a sigh "Lately, I've been having...thoughts...and feelings towards someone...a girl...I mean, I can't stop thinking about her. She's always on my mind..."

"Wow..." She mumbled "Sounds like you've got it bad."

"I really want to ask her out..." I carried on "But...I'm nervous, because she's not like all these other girls that I usually go for. She's so unique and different, but in a good way. She doesn't take crap from anyone and she isn't afraid to tell me when I'm being stupid or when I should shut up..."

She ran her fingers through her hair before giving a deep sigh.

"Well Edward..." She began "I think you should just...go for it...its Tanya right? The girl you can't stop thinking about."

What the Fu-...Tanya! Please I'd rather date Lassie than her. Where the hell did she get that idea from?

"What?" I asked with a chuckle "No it's not Tanya. Gross."

At this comment, Bella immediately lightened up. Seriously, what was her problem with Tanya?

"...Then...who are you talking about?" She asked, a small smile playing at the corners of her mouth.

Ok, now this was the hard part...

"Bella..." I began "Would you...Like to go out with me sometime...as more than friends?"

PRAISE THE LORD I DID IT!

"...You mean like a date?" She asked, smiling a bit more. All I could do was nod "Yeah..." she answered.

Holy shit! Did she just say yes!?

"I would like that."  
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_**Bella's POV**_

Holy mother of snot! Edward just asked me out on a date! I know...I seem really excited...and I am. I'll admit...When Tanya said that she liked him, I was jealous...Like _really _jealous. All this time I thought that it was that bimbo that he was crushing on! But it wasn't! It was me! ME! HA! Take that you plastic looking skank! Sorry...a little bit over the moon right now. I won't deny it any more either...ever since that night...I have been having...inappropriate thoughts about him, and strange feelings. So I'll admit it...I have a little crush...Ok, I have a BIG crush, but it looks like he's in the same boat. I mean we're going to be going on a date! Woo hoo!

"How long have you been feeling that way about me?" I asked, unable to wipe the smile from my face.

"Uh...Since you kissed me in front of Mike Newton." He admitted, blushing slightly.

"Holy Crap!" I exclaimed "That was...weeks ago! We still had the eggs!"

"Yeah I know." He said "Can I just say, you were totally oblivious towards it. I swear, half the time I practically spelled it out that I liked you and you still didn't realise."

I had to laugh at this, the burning feeling in my cheeks telling me that I was blushing.

"I seriously had no idea." I confessed "But I'm glad that you told me...when will we...go out?"

"How about Saturday?" He asked "Nothing too fancy. Dinner and a movie maybe?"

"Sounds perfect." I said with a smile "I can't wait."

And the truth was...I couldn't.  
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**A/N: Happy guys? Lol. I will admit, I wasn't planning on them getting together for at least another ooh...ten chapters or so, lol, but I thought you may actually end up killing me if I left it that long. I didn't want to jump straight into it, which I don't think I did. What do you guys think lol? Please R&R :o)**


	13. Tequila makes your clothes fall off!

**A/N: Holy shiatsu's guys! Thank you so much for all those bloody amazing reviews :o)**

**I got over the 300 mark! Thank you so much. This chapter is for all you guys. Enjoy :o)**

**I got a lot of reviews asking if Alice was pregnant...well, we're about to find out...  
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_**Bella's POV**_

I was really excited about school the next day. Edward and I had talked, deciding that we would tell the guys that we were...I didn't want to say boyfriend and girlfriend before the date...but tell them that we had strange feelings towards each other and were going to go on the date to see where it took us. I couldn't wait to see the look on Alice and Rosalie's faces. Although we were going to tell them the whole 'crush' thing, we were skipping the whole 'drunken sex' part, but for some reason I felt like Edward was hiding something from me. When I had brought the subject up he got all nervous and avoided eye contact. Ah well, I'll get it out of him sooner or later. Another thing that we were going to dodge was telling Charlie. We just knew that he would get over excited, call up Esme and Carlisle (who were also going to be kept in the dark), and both Edward and I would come home from school one day finding them planning the wedding.

When I woke up the next morning, I couldn't wipe the smile from my face. I knew that when Edward asked me out I was happy, but I had no clue that I would be so happy it looked like I had fallen asleep with a coat hanger in my mouth! I quickly got ready, Charlie gone by the time I got downstairs, had breakfast and was soon heading over to Edward's house to say good morning, but the minute I walked out my front door I was surprised to see him standing on the porch with a smile.

"Oh my Lord." I began "You're out the house before me this morning! It's a miracle."

"Ha ha ha shut up." He mumbled with a smile, wrapping an arm round my shoulders and leading me to the car "So...you're gonna tell Alice and Rose and I'll tell Dumb and Dumber."

"Sounds good." I smiled up at him.

We walked over to the car, Edward stopping me before I could open the door."

"Bella wait." He said in the velvety voice that I loved so much "I want to try something..."

I didn't even get to open my mouth before I felt his lips brush against mine. Sure we had kissed before, but this time it meant something, and boy was I enjoying it. He was just about to pull back when I grabbed him by the front of his blue shirt, pulling him back violently towards me and deepening the kiss. I could _definitely_ get used to this! Now I don't know how long we were sucking face for, but we were soon brought out of our own little world when a high pitched squeal could be heard from behind us. At first, I thought it was Alice, but was very surprised to see Esme standing on the porch of her house with wide eyes and a delighted smirk.

"Well, well, well...What do we have here?" She said, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Mom..." Edward said nervously, a hint of a chuckle in his voice "Uh...we...we were just...Bella wanted me to teach her CPR!"

"Standing up?" Esme questioned with a knowing smirk.

"You can never be too careful." I replied, just as nervous, but she wasn't buying it "...Please don't tell my Dad."

She laughed a little, rolling her eyes.

"Fine...But I'm telling Carlisle." She informed, Causing Edward to look even more worried "We've had a bet going since you were 12 to see when you'd end up together. I said senior year before graduation, and he said after. I love being right."

"You were betting on us!?" I questioned, shocked.

"Hey..." Esme exclaimed "It was a good way to make some money, but all I can say is 'You two took you damn time!'."

She left us standing there wide eyed as she went to tell Carlisle the news.

"I wonder how much they bet." Edward mumbled a little red in the face.

"Well, if they've been betting for 6 years, it better be a lot...and I want a cut."

Edward just chuckled a little.

"Yeah...maybe they can pay for the date."  
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_**Edward's POV**_

The drive to school was great. I mean, for once I actually got to look at Bella without worrying about getting caught, and when I did, all I did was give her a wide smile, causing her to laugh. We pulled up outside the school, to see it practically empty. All that was there was Emmett's empty jeep. We didn't get out straight away. Instead Bella took a deep breath and turned to me.

"You ready?" She asked, and I couldn't tell if she was nervous or excited.

"Yeah...But..." I said, leaning over, millimetres from her face "I want to finish that thing we started back at the house."

She smiled as I tucked a piece of hair behind her ear and kissed her again. I could never get tired of doing this. Reluctantly, I pulled away, and the two of us got out the car and began to walk hand in hand towards the entrance. The minute we entered the school, the nerves began to build up in my stomach. Was it too soon for us to tell them? But glancing at Bella, I realised that the time was right.

We walked into the cafeteria, and saw Emmett, Rose, Jasper, and a sick looking Alice sitting at our table, talking amongst themselves. When we had caught their attention, all eyes went wide at the sight of our hands entwined together.

"I fucking knew it!" Emmett cried happily, standing up and pointing at us "I told you, didn't I tell you!? I'm a genius. That's right a G.E.N.U.S!"

We all laughed at Emmett's little display, and at the fact that he couldn't spell to save himself.

"Well, it looks like our job's taken care of." Bella said with a smirk, sitting down at the table, never letting go of my hand "How did you all figure it out?"

"Edward didn't bring my PSP over last night, like he said he would" Emmett said "...plus I knew he had a crush on you and it was just a matter of time before he cracked."

"Thanks man." I said sarcastically.

"So does that mean that we can discuss what happened at my part...Ow shit!"

I kicked him under the table, cutting him off. If Bella found out that they knew about our little...incident...then all hell would break loose. She glanced at me a little confused as I faked a cough, badly trying to cover up the fact that I had just kicked one of my best friends. Her attention soon left me and focused on Alice, who was slumped in her seat looking awful, which was so unlike Alice.

"You don't look to good." Bella began as I rubbed my thumb over the back of her hand "You still throwing up?"

"Yeah..." She said her voice a little raspy "Edward's Dad came over last night. He told me I have a stomach flu...and that your now _boyfriend_ hadn't been home. We last saw him at the diner with you and that sorta cleared a lot up, so Emmett doesn't get full credit for playing detective. I had a hand in it...as well."

I watched as she began to gag, and was pretty soon out her seat and running towards the bathroom.

"I tried to tell her to stay home." Jasper said "But she _insisted _she came today, knowing it would be special...plus...she scares the living crap out of me when she gets mad. I didn't want to risk losing anything of...value..."

"I'm going to go check on Alice." Rosalie began, standing up "Bella come with. I need every little detail. Now you can tell me if he's a good kisser or not, and you can't use the excuse, 'Oh but he's my best friend' this time."

I smirked when Bella rolled her eyes, gave me a small kiss and headed off towards the bathroom with Rose. I felt like putty as I watched her walk away. It's scary how much power someone can have over me.  
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_**Bella's POV**_

We stood in the toilets, Rosalie fixing her hair in the mirror as Alice emptied her stomach contents into the toilet. I grimaced a little as Alice barfed again before flushing and walking back out to rinse her mouth. For once, Alice looked like shit. It was quite funny in a way.

"Why don't you go home." I stated "Rose and I will get all the work you miss."

"No way!" Alice protested "My Mom said that if I'm not well enough to go to school, then I'm not well enough to go shopping this Saturday, and you both know what I get like if I can't shop!"

"You got that right."

Both Rosalie and I shuddered at memories.

"But enough about me..." Alice said, smirking a little "Now how did all this 'Edward' thing happen? I though you guys were 'Just Friends'..."

"We're still friends..." I said with a blush "We're just having strange feelings towards each other...plus I wouldn't call him my boyfriend. We haven't even been on a date yet."

"So you won't call him your boyfriend because you haven't went on a date yet, but you'll kiss him" Rosalie stated "Makes sense...for you anyway. Your relationship with Edward is like something we would see on 'The Hills'."

"Shut up..." I said with a smirk "We're going out on Saturday, and No Alice, you cannot give me a makeover."

I stopped her just as she opened her mouth.

"How could you stop me from doing makeovers!?" She asked "It's like telling Beethoven he isn't allowed to compose...or the Teletubbies that they aren't allowed to scare the crap out of kids!"

I had to laugh at this. Trust Alice to go and get all 'Philosophical' on me. Rolling my eyes I turned to face her.

"I just want to go as me." I said "I'm sure Edward would like that too."

She huffed a little before running back into the toilet to throw up once more.

"You know...if I didn't know any better..." Rosalie began "I'd say you were preggers!"

"I am not pregnant." I heard Alice choke out "And don't tell me 'I'll never know unless I do a test', because Jasper and I haven't done it in like 4 months. We're waiting till prom night to do it again."

"But that's like...9 months away." I stated a little surprised "Jasper must be going crazy."

"Oh...and Edward's not!?" Alice questioned "The boy's practically gagging for it...will you sleep with him? I mean it may be weird. You two are a lot closer than what I was with Jasper, or Rose with Em..."

I inhaled a sharp breath. It was time to tell them the truth.

"Remember I told you that hooked up with someone at Emmett's party?" I asked a little nervously.

"Yeah..." They both said in unison.

"Uh...It was with Edward."

"HO" Rose began

"LY" Alice added

"SHIT!" They finished in unison.

"You're kidding right?" Rose asked

All I did was shake my head.

"What can I say?" I began "Tequila really _does _make your clothes fall off."  
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_**Edward's POV**_

Well, the rest of the week went by amazingly. Bella and I were practically inseparable, but I wasn't complaining about that. I couldn't have been happier. When Saturday finally rolled along, I became very excited. We weren't going to do anything fancy. Just some dinner and a movie, but this was the start of many more dates to come hopefully. After I got ready, I headed over to Bella's house. Thankfully my Mom and Dad didn't tell Charlie about the whole 'kissing' thing, so he still thought that we were just friends, but every time Bella came over to my place, the ridicule began. I swear I actually think my Mom had been hoping for this to happen since we met! Nothing would surprise me.

I walked up the front porch steps, knocked on the door and walked in. Over the years we had gotten into the habit of just walking in. Hell, we were practically family.

"Hey Edward." Charlie said from his position on the couch "Where are you two headed?"

"Just going to get something to eat...as friends...just friends, don't worry. Nothing strange going on here. No secrets at all."

"Edward, shut up." I heard Bella say from behind me "Dad, we'll be back later."

Bella practically dragged me out of the house before I could say anything else. I was just hoping that Charlie was too engrossed in the baseball game than to actually pay attention to what I said. We walked over to my car, and it wasn't until Bella get in did I realise how gorgeous she looked. She was wearing faded blue jeans, and a casual green long sleeved t-shirt which hugged her curves perfectly. Simple, but beautiful.

"So..." I began, turning on the engine "Are you ready for the date of your life?"

"Bring it on." She smirked.

Laughing, I pulled out of the driveway. This was going to be great.  
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**A/N: I know, you probably all hate me for leaving it there, but I had too. Lol. The next chapter will be the date it. So please R&R and tell me what you thought of this chapter. Let's see if we can get any closer to the 400 mark. More reviews means more updates lol. I know it was a little boring, but I hope you enjoyed. Thanks :o)**

**Also, please check out my new fic 'Light In The Dark'. I think you'll like it if you like the whole 'forbidden romance' thing. Thanks :o)**


	14. First Dates and Forks in Tables!

**A/N: Hi guys. Thanks so much for all the positive reviews. I'm glad you liked the last chapter, and WOW! Thanks to all of those who R&R'd my new fic 'Light in the Dark'. I'm **_**really **_**glad you liked it, because I was extremely wary about writing it. Thanks for the support :o)**

**I also want to clear everything up a little about the last chapter. Alice is NOT pregnant. She really does have a stomach flu.  
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_**Edward's POV**_

Oh my gosh. I'm sitting in the car with Bella. I'm sitting in the car with Bella heading for our DATE! Our _first_ date! I don't know why, but I was feeling a little nervous. I mean, I had only known the girl 16 years. Not long right? I glanced over at her, she looked a little pale, and so I was guessing that she was feeling a little nervous too. I gently leaned over a little and took her hand in mine, and I could tell that it calmed the both of us. We were heading to Port Angeles, and it was beginning to get dark out and rain, but we still had a little way to go. I was hoping the rain would die down before we arrived.

"You feeling ok?" I asked, looking over at Bella who was getting paler by the second.

"Uh...yeah..." She said, glancing over at me with a fake smile, but the smile soon faded and her hand shot to her mouth "Please pull over."

"Bella, I can't just pull over. It's raining heavy out, and it's dark." I said a little worried.

"Edward, either pull over or I swear I will not think twice before throwing up in your ashtray!"

That was enough for me. I quickly pulled over and Bella shot out the car, running over to the side of the road and throwing up onto the grass. I walked up behind her, holding her hair out of her face and rubbing her back as she continued to puke her guts out. Why tonight!? Out of every night in the week, why did she have to get sick on the night of our date!? As I was silently ranting to myself, as Bella continued to throw up. She coughed a little before standing up straight, wiping her mouth and leaning into my chest. She closed her eyes, a sheen of sweat covering her forehead.

"I'm sorry..." She mumbled, sounding truly exhausted.

"It's Ok." I said softly, kissing her hair "C'mon and I'll get you home."

"No..." She said, snapping her eyes back open and turning to face me "I still want this date. If you just stop at a store or something, I can pick up a bottle of water and I should be good. Hell, I'm starting to feel better already!"

I laughed a little, but I could tell she was lying.

"Fine." I said with a smile, leading her back to the car "But if you blow chunks again tonight we're going home."

"Ugh...fine." She replied, easing into her seat "I should not have spent all that time with Alice. She's obviously decided to be a 'good' friend and gave me her stomach flu. How fun."

"Well...friends share." I smirked.

"Really Edward? I had no idea!" She said with a smile "So does that mean I get to share it with you? I mean, you are practically my boyfriend now...We could be sick together. Think how fun that would be!"

Her voice was dripping with sarcasm, and all I could do was laugh. She was incredibly cute. But I loved the fact that she called me her boyfriend. Seriously, if I wasn't sitting in the car, and there wasn't an _extremely_ high risk that I would kill myself, I would be doing back flips!

"Ha ha." I said sarcastically, but a hint of a smile tugging at my lips "Let's just head to the restaurant."

She smiled a little, looking a lot better already. I was hoping that she would be fine, and that it was just nerves that caused her to be sick. School was already boring, but school without Bella there would probably make me suicidal.  
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_**Bella's POV**_

Ok, that boys and girls, is what I like to call 'embarrassing'! I mean, I just puked in front of my boyfriend! My very gorgeous boyfriend! Alright, I'll say it. I'm not waiting for this date to decide whether we are boyfriend/girlfriend. As far as I'm concerned we are. I don't know anyone who makes out with their best friend as much as we have this past week. We even nearly got caught by Charlie! Now I know what you're thinking. Why not just tell him? He loves Edward anyway...the truth is, I'm not actually worried about him being mad...I'm worried about him becoming so over excited and make everything uncomfortable. But I will have to tell him soon. Carlisle and Esme are bound to slip up sooner or later, and when you're friends with someone like Emmett, who's got a mouth bigger than a horse, it's quite difficult to keep secrets for long.

We weren't far from Port Angeles now, and I was feeling _much_ better. Nerves I think or the stomach flu. I knew that Jessica was off with it; Mike too and few other people. Alice had done well with her 'sharing'. We had stopped at a small store, letting me get some water, mints and gum. So I was able to rinse my mouth out and leave it minty fresh. Edward could kiss me now and there would be no 'ick factor'. I smiled to myself a little, resting my head against the window and entwining my fingers with Edward's. I closed my eyes, finally feeling relaxed, but they shot open when I heard a bang and a small shudder.

"No!" Edward cried, the car slowly stopping "No, no, no!"

"What is it?" I asked as I saw smoke cover the front of the window.

"The engine blew!" Edward exclaimed a little panicked as the car finally stopped.

Edward got out, and I followed. The rain was beating down heavy, and as Edward opened the hood of the car, a loud hissing noise could be heard.

"Why don't I call Jacob?" I asked, pulling out my cell phone "He could give us a ride home and fix up the car."

"I'd rather walk home that get a ride with Jacob."

"Edward, be nice!" I called, rolling my eyes at his childishness "Stop being a baby."

"I'm not a baby!" He whined "He's a baby...you're a baby. Shut up!"

I held back a laugh as I tried to call my friend, but soon found out that there was no signal.

"Ugh!" I grunted, closing my phone and shoving it back into my pocket "Well this is turning out to be a _fabulous _date. We should do it again sometime."

"It's not my fault this happened." Edward argued, the rain turning his bronze hair a lovely brownish colour.

"Why did you want to go to Port Angeles for the date anyway!?" I said in an angry tone "We could have easily stayed in Forks."

"Because, I wanted it to be special!" He answered, shouting too as he walked closer to me "Is that so much to ask!?"

"I don't know!" I shouted back, my arms crossing over my chest.

I was starting to make no sense, but I didn't care. We were too caught up in arguing about something that neither of us thought would happen.

"Maybe this date was a mistake then!" Edward shouted, still standing close to me.

"Maybe it was!" I retaliated "So no more in the future!"

"Fine"

"Fine" I said back.

"That's settled then!" He shouted, never lowering his voice.

"Yeah I guess so!" I screamed, unable to stop yelling myself.

"Do you want to kiss me as much as I want to kiss you!?" He asked, still shouting.

"It's about damn time you asked!"

We didn't shout anymore. Instead, I wrapped my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist as Edward hoisted me up, our lips meeting in a heated kiss. We were both soaked to the bone, but neither of us cared. Instead, Edward pinned me up against the side of the car, never removing his lips from mine. First we're all lovey dovey, then we're arguing and now we're making out...makes sense...I think. I ran my fingers through his wet hair. Even when rain drops were falling from his locks he still looked sexy. This was quickly turning from the worst date in history to the best. Making out with my hot boyfriend, up against the car in the pouring rain after coming very close to kicking him in the groin. It's like something from a romantic comedy.

We continued to kiss for what felt like ages, but soon stopped when a set of headlights blinded us, and a car stopped right next to us. Our eyes went wide when we realised who it was. Charlie was hanging out the window of the cruiser with a look that was a mix of confusion, amusement and...Well...more confusion. I blushed bright red, unwrapping myself from Edward and giving a sheepish smile.

"Hi Dad..." I said nervously "Uh...surprise?"  
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_**Edward's POV**_

Ok...can we say 'awkward'? I mean, it's strange kissing your girlfriend like that in front of anyone, but when it's your girlfriend's father, who is _allowed _to carry a gun, then it's a bit...scary. I was expecting Charlie to yell at me, arrest me or tie me to the back of his car and drive away...but he didn't. He smiled, rolled his eyes and told us to get in the back. We got in cautiously, never saying a word as Charlie drove off. We expected him to take us back home, but instead he headed for Port Angeles.

"So..." He began, breaking the uncomfortable silence "The two of you are...together? How long has this been going on?"

"Uh..." Bella began, looking over at me for help.

"Yeah..." I carried on "Uh...about a week...Sorry we didn't tell you sir..."

"Edward." Charlie began with a chuckle "When you came and told me about the girl you liked, I automatically knew you were talking about Bells. I'm not that unobservant kid."

He chuckled a little, but left the conversation at that, which I was really grateful about. We sat in silence as Charlie drove into Port Angeles. He came to a stop outside a nice looking restaurant and handed us some money.

"Now, here's some money for a cab." He said "Please be careful. I'll get Jacob to come and pick up the car."

"Thanks Mr. S!" I said, thankful that he wouldn't come and pick us up.

I mean, don't get me wrong. Charlie is cool and fun to be around, but how lame would it be if someone who was like a parent to you came and picked you up from your date? It was bad enough that he dropped us off...not that we had much of an option though. We watched as Charlie drove off, and once he was out of sight, I took hold of Bella's hand.

"What first?" I asked with a smile as she snuggled into my side a little "Movie of dinner?"

"Dinner." Bella replied "I am so hungry I could eat a horse."

I chuckled a little, and was happy that she was feeling better.

We made our way into the restaurant, and was immediately greeted by a bubbly waitress. She was...OK looking, short with long blonde hair. She gave me a suggestive look, and all I did was tighten my grip on Bella's hand, turn to her and smile. Hey, I had the most beautiful girlfriend in the world. She was enough for me. The old Edward would probably ask for the waitress's number when he was on a date.

She led us to a table at the back of the restaurant, asking me if I wanted anything to drink, completely ignoring Bella.

"Coke." I told her.

"I'll have the same." Bella said, the waitress never looking at her.

"I'll give you a minute." She smiled at me.

She walked away, obviously trying to act seductive. All I could do was chuckle. I turned to see Bella wither arms crossed over her chest, glaring in the direction that the waitress had gone in.

"Bitch..." She mumbled, turning to face me.

"Ooh..." I began in a singsong voice "Someone's jealous."

"Shut up." She blushed, a smile playing at her lips as she played with her fork "I am not jealous."

At that moment, the waitress came back over with our drinks. She placed Bella's in front of her carelessly and mines just by my hand, 'accidently' brushing her fingers over my skin. I looked up at her questioningly to see her giving a smile and a wink, but my gaze soon snapped round to Bella when the table shuddered and I heard a clanging noise. I had to hold back a laugh at what I saw. Bella with her arms crossed over her chest, glaring at the waitress, as the fork that she was playing with stuck out of the table. Yeah, she's not jealous at all...she just likes sticking forks into tables when she goes out.

The waitress saw how pissed off Bella was and soon left, probably wondering if my girlfriend was picturing her head when she attacked the wooden surface.

"Now that's not very nice." I said with a smirk, leaning over a little to look at her "What did that poor table ever do to you?"

She laughed a little, pulling the fork out of the table to see that the tines slightly bent.

"Ok...so maybe I'm a little jealous."

"You stuck cutlery into wood quite easily, hell Emmett would struggle doing that. I'm thinking you're a little more than jealous." I replied with a smirk.

She blushed and looked down at the table which now held four little holes. She was so cute when she got all flustered.  
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_**Bella's POV **_

Skanky waitress bitch! Hitting on my boyfriend right in front of me! Ugh...but Edward didn't pay any attention to her, which I was grateful about. After we got our drinks, and the whole 'fork' incident was put behind us, we were greeted by a waiter, who gave us a menu each. My stomach was practically begging for food, but I couldn't decide what I wanted. Everything looked so good. Edward noticed that I was taking my time and gave me a smile.

"Order anything." He said "Have as much as you want."

Well...I did. I had the mushroom ravioli, a plate of fries which Edward shared, soup, and a dessert. Once everything was in my stomach though, I felt sick again. Damn Alice! When we were leaving the restaurant, I was happy to see that the rain had died down, and was now only a light drizzle. We walked to the movie theatre hand in hand, my head resting against Edwards arm. I was still feeling a little sick outside. I had been hoping that the fresh air would do me some good.

"So, what movie do you want to see?" Edward asked.

"How about a horror?" I asked, looking up at him "... 'The uninvited'...or maybe 'the unborn', the both look really good, and scary."

"Can't you be a normal girl for like five seconds and want to see something more...chick flick like?" He asked with a smile.

"Aw..." I cooed, looking up at him "Is Edward afraid to see a scary movie in the dark?"

"No!" He scoffed, blushing a little "I-I just want to make sure that you won't be scared."

"Good save." I replied with a smirk as we came to a top outside the theatre.

After deciding to see 'The Unborn', Edward and I made our way to our seats, but came to a halt when we saw Tanya and Mike next the only free seats left, playing tonsil hockey.

"Ok..." I began "I don't know what's going to be scarier. The Movie, or...that!"

"Let's just try and slip past them while their...eating each other's faces. When it's dark they probably won't recognize us."

We walked down the aisle, trying to not draw attention to ourselves, squeezing in to our seats. The plan was working out great, until I tripped over Tanya's freakishly large feet and landed in Mike's lap.

"Bella." He said happily, pink lipstick smudged around his mouth "What you doing here?"

"I...I'm on a date." I said, scrambling to get up.

At this, Tanya and Mike looked up to see Edward for the first time. Mike glared, and Tanya looked at him with lust filled eyes.

"Edward..." She said with a smile "So good to see you here."

"Uh...hey Tanya." He said out of politeness, wrapping an arm round my waist and pulling me in closer "I didn't know you and Mike were dating."

Neither did I, but I did not give a shit either. At least they were now off our backs.

"Oh we're not." She said quickly "We just do this sometimes."

"What suffocate each other?" I asked.

She glared at me, as Mike looked up at me in adoration. I could see out the corner of my eye that Edward was biting his bottom lip to try and stop himself from laughing.

"Enjoy the movie." He said, leading me to our seats.  
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_**Edward's POV**_

The movie was great. Scary, but great. Although with Mike and Tanya sitting next to us, it was a little uncomfortable. Every now and then, when I caught either of them staring at us, I would wrap my arm round Bella's shoulders, pull her in closer and kiss her neck. She smiled, catching on to what I was doing and ran her hand up my leg. That was probably a bad move to make, but it didn't mean that I didn't enjoy it.

After the movie, we got a cab back to Bella's house. It was coming up on midnight, and she looked exhausted. We made our way up the front porch steps, her house in darkness, so we knew Charlie would be in bed. Turning to face me, she smiled. She looked a lot better than she had earlier on that night, almost back to her normal self.

"I actually had a really good time tonight." She said, blushing a little as she tucked some hair behind her ear "I mean with the whole, Tanya/Mike thing, the car breaking down, our argument, the idiotic waitress and me attacking the table, you would think that it would have been a crap date."

"Don't forget stopping to throw up either." I added, causing her to blush more.

"How could I forget that part?" She asked with a smirk, rolling her eyes slightly "So...do I get a goodnights kiss?"

I smiled, taking a step closer to her and kissed her. Her arms went round my neck as she stood on her tiptoes to reach, my arms encircling her waist. My tongue traced her bottom lip a little, and she graciously opened her mouth granting me access. Once we finally pulled apart for air, I gave her a small smile. I didn't want to go home yet. Hell, I could make it that the date was just beginning! But she was tired, and if I was out all night with her, Carlisle and Esme would be asking questions.

"Well...I'll see you tomorrow then." I said, reluctantly stepping away from her.

"Yeah." Bella smiled, kissing me once again softly "Goodnight."

"Night." Again, I gave her one last kiss as I headed over to my own house.

All I could say was 'what a great first date'.  
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**A/N: Ok, so what did you think? This is the longest chapter I've ever written for this story, so hope you don't mind and you enjoyed it. I actually enjoyed writing this chapter. It's probably the one I'm most happy about. Lol. Please R&R and tell me what you think :o)**


	15. Doctors!

**A/N: Aw guys, thank you so much. I'm not well and have been bed ridden the whole weekend (fun). Your reviews really made me happy. Thank you so much. I know, I say that in every chapter, but I do mean it :o)**

**I also want to give a special thank you to **_**Witchtwin01 **_**for giving me the movie ideas in the last chapter. Thanks :o)**

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_**Bella's POV**_

It had been over a week since the disastrously fantastic first date with my boyfriend! Boyfriend...goodness, I could not say that enough. Edward Cullen, boyfriend to Isabella Swan! I don't know why I hadn't noticed it before! We were perfect together! Everyone else saw, why didn't we!? Well, the week went by great. Edward would come and visit me, bring me chocolates, sing me my lullaby. It was perfect. The only downside was that I had been sentenced to my bed by Charlie for constantly throwing up. I swear I have made it my personal mission to murder Alice when I'm fit and healthy again. I lay in bed rereading 'Wuthering Heights' for about the seventh time, waiting for school to get so as I could see Edward. He had skipped the diner every day this week to come visit me, even though he risked catching this stupid ass flu...although I don't think he would mind being absent from school.

As I was just finishing the last few lines of the chapter, I saw someone climb through my bedroom window, causing me to jump, and kick them hard on the head. It wasn't until I heard a familiar groan did I realise that it was Edward. I gasped, my hands flying to my mouth as I watched my boyfriend sit up on the bed, rubbing the back of his head and wince.

"Oh my gosh!" I exclaimed, tucking hair behind my ear as I crawled over to him "Babe I'm so sorry! You scared me!"

"It's ok..." He said, smirking a little.

"Why the hell didn't you use the door like a normal human being!?" I questioned, trying to hold back my own smirk as he wrapped his arms around my waist.

"Because..." He smiled "You're sick and I didn't want you getting out of bed."

He kissed me, and I could tell that I hadn't kicked him too hard.

"So...how you feeling?" He asked, moving to my side and lying down on the bed, pulling me down to lie with him.

"Hmm...Tired." I mumbled into his chest, closing my eyes a little "Bored...and missing you of course."

I sat up to look at him, smiling a little as he leaned over and kissed me. Ugh, I could never get sick of that...but speaking of sick...My hand flew to my mouth as I got up and ran to the bathroom, emptying my stomach contents out. This had been happening all week! Alice was only sick for a couple of days! I continued to throw up, feeling Edward come in to hold my hair back like he had the night of our date.

"You now, it's great I have this sorta affect on you." I could hear the smirk in his voice.

What a way to make a guy feel special. He kisses you, you throw up! I must have been throwing up for about five minutes, and by the end of those five minutes I felt as if I had lost 3 stone in body weight. Flushing the toilet, I got up and rinsed my mouth out before scrubbing my teeth. Edward stayed with me the whole time, sitting on the edge of the bath tub. After brushing my teeth, making sure that all trace of vomit was out of my mouth, I turned to face my boyfriend, pouting slightly as I wrapped my arms round him.

"I hate being sick." I moaned as he picked me up easily, my legs wrapping round his waist as he carried me back to my room.

I was expecting him to lay me back in bed and tuck me in, but instead he sat down, sitting me on his lap. Not that I was complaining at all.

"Maybe it's time you went and saw a doctor." Edward said, brushing some hair from my face.

"Ugh...do I have to..." I moaned, playing with the front of his shirt "Can't you just cook me soup and give me a foot massage like every sick person wants?"

He chuckled lightly, kissing my forehead.

"Well, Carlisle has the day off, so it's the other guy...Jenkins, his name is...You want me to go with you?"

"No it's OK." I answered, sighing a little "You go see the guys. You've bailed on them every day this week to come see me. I'll be fine on my own."

Well...I was far from fine when I went to see the doctor. I had sat in the waiting room for_ever_. Children crying, frantic mothers trying to shush them and lot's of people coughing and spluttering. The noise was deafening, but thankfully I was eventually called into the doctor's office. Dr. Jenkins seemed nice enough. He was a short plump man who was balding. He wore big round glasses that looked more like binoculars, and his white coat looked about 2 sizes too small, but he wore a friendly smile, and that was enough for me. I sat in the uncomfortable seat in his office as he looked up my records on the computer, making a _tsk _sound every now and then or an _ooh...nasty _when he came across a particular accident that had happened in the past.

"So, Miss Swan..." He began, turning to face me "What's been the problem?"

"I've been throwing up little over a week now. I can't keep anything down except water." Water I filled in.

"Ok..." The doctor began "Well, I'll ask some questions, and take a blood sample."

"Blood!" I choked out wide eyed "As in the blood inside of me! The blood you have to get out with a needle!...Do you know what Doc..." I began with a small smile, heading to get up "I'm feeling much better now. Thanks for your time."

"Hold on Miss Swan..." Jenkins began with a smile, motioning for me to sit back down "I promise it won't hurt a bit."

I grumbled. Blood and needles were NOT something I was good with. Maybe I should have brought Edward with me after all.

"How about we start with the questions?" He smiled, pulling out a pen to make notes.

All I could do was nod.

"Alright...are you a smoker?" He asked

"No..." I replied

"Drinker?"

"Uh...not really....I mean I have been drunk once or twice, but I haven't touched the stuff in about...3 weeks."

"Alrighty....Is there any chance you could be pregnant?"

"No..." I droned on, picking at my nails.

"And is there any severe medical history in your family."

"Not that I'm aware of."

Half of these questions were pointless! Most of the time I think doctors ask them because they're nosey. I watched as Dr. Jenkins wrote down the information I had supplied him with, and the part that I was dreading came far too soon for my liking. I screwed up my eyes and turned my head to the side when I saw the needle that he was going to stick into my arm. I tried to hold back the tears that were threatening to fall. Needles and blood were true phobias of mine. I scooted a little when I felt the metal go under my skin, but before I knew it, it was over, and I was free to go.  
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_**Edward's POV**_

We sat in the diner, talking and laughing for hours and before we knew it, it was near closing time. It wasn't late, only around 4:30, but the owner, Mrs Simms wanted to get home early. We all walked out into the rain, Alice and Rosalie letting out a soft squeal as they ran to their car hand in hand. I quickly said goodbye to Jasper and Emmett, climbing into my own car and heading home, but first I wanted to see how Bella got on with the doctor.

I drove for about 10 minutes before I came to a stop outside her house, and once again, I climbed through the window. Charlie was probably watching the game, and I didn't want to disturb him. Climbing up the trellis, I chapped on her window. Smiling, Bella opened it and helped me through.

"Hi." She greeted with a small kiss "What you doing here?"

"Just thought I'd come over to see how you got on at the doctors." I began, lounging on her bed as I watched her tidy up a little.

"He took some blood." She said, shuddering slightly "I still need to wait for the results...it shouldn't be much longer now though."

"You still throwing up?"

"Ugh..." Bella grunted "Twice on the way home and another three times since...sin...Ugh, make that four..."

I watched as Bella bolted from her bedroom to the bathroom, slamming the door behind her as she heaved. This had to be more than a stomach flu, right? Maybe she was really sick...Holy shit! What if she's like terminally ill or something! Oh good Lord, Bella's dying! I stood up and ran my hands through my hair trying to calm myself, and talk some sense into my head. It was no secret that I sometimes...overreacted, but what else could be wrong with her? I continued to pace until I saw Bella walk back in, looking incredibly pale.

"Are you dying!?" I blurted out, receiving a look mixed of confusion and amusement.

"Uh...no Edward...I'm not dying." She laughed a little at my silliness, before collapsing onto the bed "But I swear Alice will be dying when I get my hands on her."

I chuckled a little, partly at her never ending threats towards the pixie girl, and partly because I had been such an idiot. I was just about to open my mouth to speak once more; hoping that something more intellectual would come out, but instead the sound of Bella's cell ringing interrupted me.

"Hello?" She began "Oh hi Dr. Jenkins...my results, cool, what's the damage..." I stood and watched her as the smile that was once there faded "Are you sure?...100 percent positive?"

Ok, now I was confused, and my own worry was back.

"Uh...yeah, yeah I'll be fine..." She carried on "Um, I'll make an appointment, tomorrow...ok, thanks...Bye."

She closed her phone, her hands shaking as she raked them through her hair.

"What did he say?" I asked, hoping that it was nothing too serious, but she didn't answer me.

"Hey, babe can I meet up with you later?" She asked, grabbing her jacket and slipping it on "I...I need to go talk to Alice and Rose about something."

"Is everything ok?" I asked, taking a step towards her, holding her little hands in my large ones.

"Uh...yeah...everything's fine, I gotta go."

She was acting very strange, and without even a kiss goodbye, Bella left.  
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_**Bella's POV**_

Holy shit! Oh my gosh! How the hell could this happen! I mean...oh my gosh I'm going to be in so much trouble! I don't know how fast I was going. I think I may have even gotten my old van above the 55 level, but before I knew it I was outside Rosalie's house. She and Alice usually met u to finish homework after school, and I needed their help. I needed ot know what I should do.

"Alice! Rose!" I cried at the top of my lungs, the second I got out my truck.

I didn't bother knocking, knowing that Mr and Mrs Hale were still at work. I just ran in, calling the names of my friends as I ran up the stairs to Rose's room.

"Guys!" I called "I'm in deep shit!"

As I ran down the hall to the room, Alice and Rosalie emerged, looking rather confused.

"Bella?" Alice questioned as I ran into the room, slamming the door shut "What's wrong? What happened?"

I was crying now, but I couldn't quite figure out what the emotion behind the tears was. Anger? Sadness? Happiness...Fear? My breathing was ragged as I began to pace, my friends exchanging concerned glances with each other. I couldn't even form a coherent sentence.

"Bella!" Alice finally cried, snapping me out of my mumbling state "What. Is. Wrong?"

I stopped, my silent tears still falling.

"I don't have a stomach flu..." I said softly, my voice cracking.

"Then what is it?" Rosalie asked, panic washing over her face.

"...I'm pregnant..."

Their jaws dropped as they gawked at me. What in the hell was I supposed to say? I mean, they knew about Edward and I, but how would they take this...How would Edward take this!?

I sat and told them everything. The phone call, how I left Edward standing there without telling him...but I just didn't know what to say. _That was the doctor...he's say's I'm pregnant with your kid, wanna play 'Guitar Hero'?_ I sighed in frustration. How was I supposed to take care of a baby!? Well...I was dating Edward...I guess he was classified as a baby on some sort of level, and hey, I hadn't killed him...yet.

"I...I just can't believe it!" I cried, my arms flying into the air "I mean...I'm a good girl! I don't smoke. I don't drink...much, and the ONE time I end up getting..._friendly_ with someone, I end up pregnant! I'm up the spout with My Best Friends Kid for fuck sake!"

"Ok...let's just keep calm..." Rosalie said "I'm assuming that you're going to keep the baby..."

"Yeah...I couldn't live with myself if I put it up for adoption or that other...option."

"Well..." Alice began, who had been oddly quite since I had mentioned my slight predicament "First off...you need to tell Edward. I mean, it's his Greek god like spawn that's growing inside of you."

"There's a plus side!" Rosalie began, trying to make light of the situation "Least the Dad's good looking. Cute baby."

"Rose!" Alice screeched "All babies are beautiful."

"Not that baby who lives down the street!" The beautiful blonde protested "I mean...have you seen the nose on that kid!? Looks like the damn concord!"

I tried to stifle a laugh. She was hanging out with Emmett far too much.

"Well...I guess I best go tell Edward." I said standing up "I'll call you guys later."

"Ok..." Alice called as I left "Good Luck!"  
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_**Edward's POV**_

Bella had left in a rush, not explaining anything. What had the doctor told her? Was it serious? It couldn't have been that bad...she would have told me. I went back to my empty house, My Dad had taken my Mom out for dinner, so I was all alone for a few hours, which didn't really bother me. I just couldn't get Bella off my mind. I tried watching TV, playing my guitar and piano, and reading...I even tried doing homework! I know...scary, but nothing seemed to work. I was about to give up all together and lose my mind completely when I heard a soft knock on my front door, and saw Bella come in. Praise the lord she's all right.

"Hey." I said, sighing in relief as I went to hug her "What happened back there?"

I gave her a kiss, leading her through to the kitchen to get her a glass of water...and that's when I heard it. Those four words that make every person want to run and hide.

"We need to talk."

Ah shit.  
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_**Bella's POV**_

I spent the whole journey trying to figure out what I was going to say to Edward, but nothing was coming. It cannot be that hard! Just tell him we're doing the egg project again...only this time a little bit longer. I soon came to a stop outside his house and slowly made my way up to the door. With a little knock, I walked in and was immediately greeted by a relieved looking Edward. Wow. I must have really spooked him. He hugged me, gave me a small kiss and led me through to the kitchen, obviously happy that I was back.

"We need to talk." I began, the nerves building up.

He gave a little nod as I took a seat on one of the breakfast bar stools. He followed my actions, taking a seat in front of me cautiously.

"Are...you're not breaking up with me are you?" He asked with a smirk.

"Of course not." I said, taking hold of his hands.

Wow...Edward Cullen was scared to be dumped. We really must have something special.

"I...I got the blood results back..." I began, noticing the panic flash in his eyes.

"...and..." He asked reluctantly, and I could tell he didn't really know if he wanted to know or not.

"...I'm pregnant."

I was expecting him to scream. Pass out...something dramatic, but what he did shocked me! He laughed! Actually laughed. I looked at him, very confused. I mean I had practically told him that our lives had just changed forever, and he _laughed_!

"Edward..." I began, slightly pissed.

"No seriously..." He began, close to hysterics "This is a joke right? What's wrong with you really?"

"Besides the fact that my boyfriend is a complete idiot and I have is growing child inside me...not much."

His smile soon faded when he realised that I was telling the truth. I watched as his eyes went wide, his mouth opening and closing like he was trying to say something. Thank you! That was sorta the reaction I was looking for. He remained silent, getting up off his stool and grabbing an opened bottle of wine from the counter, only to start chugging it down.

"Edward!" I began, getting up and snatching the alcohol away from him "That is how we got into this mess!"

He looked down at me, clearly panicked as he ran his hands through his hair.

"You're serious?" He asked "You're really pregnant...with my kid?"

"Well I didn't produce the sperm myself." I said, crossing my arms over my chest.

He began to hyperventilate, looking around the kitchen for something to distract him. I truly felt awful for breaking the news to him like this.

"Edward...Babe..." I began, placing my hands on his arms and running them up and down, soothing him a little "I don't want you feeling pressured into anything. If you feel like you can't handle this...then that's fine...I understand."

He sighed, running his fingers through his hair once more before looking down at me.

"No..." He began "I'm going to stick with you through this...this is _our kid_."

I looked up at him and smiled, only for him to give me that crooked grin that I loved so much.

"...I love you..." He spoke softly, causing my heart to flip.

"...I love you too..."

He bent down and kissed me, wrapping an arm around my waist as he rested a hand on my flat stomach. This was just the start.  
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**A/N: Ok, so it got a little sentimental and mushy at the end, but I liked it lol. I know a lot of you didn't want Bella to get pregnant, but it had been planed right from the beginning, and by the time I had started hinting towards it, it was too late to change the story line...plus it would mean that I would have to change the title. Anywayz, I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Please R&R and tell me what you think, just don't be too mean. Thanks very much :o)**


	16. Telling Charlie!

**A/N: Aw guys thank you so much. I was really worried about that last chapter, and what you would all think, but I'm glad that nearly all of you were happy about Bella and Edward's...blessing. lol. I hope you all enjoy this chapter :o)  
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_**Bella's POV**_

I lay on Edward's bed, my t-shirt hoisted up just under my breasts as Edward lay his head on my flat stomach, his cheek resting against the exposed flesh. I smiled at the sight as I lay there running my fingers through his unkempt hair. He traced small circles on my stomach, and I could tell that he was very excited about the life changing news I had supplied him with. I know. I was just as confused. When I was heading over there to tell my boyfriend that I was pregnant, I honestly thought that that would be the end of us. During the egg project, Edward had made it plainly clear that he didn't want a child. Hell, he made it plainly clear that he didn't want a serious relationship. But since we've been together as a couple, I could really see a huge change in him. He was really growing up...sorta. I mean, this is the guy who sits with Jasper and Emmett watching Sesame Street because they think Big Bird is 'cool'.

"Wow..." I heard him mumble as I continued to play with his hair "There's really a baby in there."

I smiled as he touched my stomach.

"Our baby." I leaned down and whispered in his ear.

"Our baby..." He said it so softly that I think he was actually talking to himself, trying to get it to sink in that he was going to be a father.

I smiled at the thought of Edward being called 'Dad'. It suits him, and I already knew that he would be a fantastic one. He'd let our kids away with murder. And he would never give them into trouble...because any trouble that they would get into, he would probably be in on it too. Oh my gosh, it'll be like having two children, only one won't be in diapers.

"You know..." I began as he looked up at me, placing a soft kiss on my stomach "For someone who didn't want to be a daddy, you seem awfully happy."

He smiled and sat up, scooting up to lie next to me.

"I am happy." He began, taking hold of my hand and entwining our fingers "I mean, My girlfriend and best friend, who is the most gorgeous girl in the world, is having my baby...I just...when we were younger I never pictured this happening. I always pictured you running off with Jacob Black to live in a place like...the South of France and eat cheese all day. Then you'd have about 7 kids and name them after French composers before Jacob got so overbearingly annoying that you beat him to death with a rolling pin. "

"And here I am in Forks with you and your spawn inside of me." I said a little sarcastically, but smiling never the less "Plus...Jacob is lactose intolerant. Can you imagine how bad our bathroom would smell if we sat and ate cheese all day?"

He laughed, kissing my forehead.

"So..." He said, changing the subject to a more serious matter "How...do you plan telling your Dad?"

"Why am I the one who has to tell him!?" I asked, sitting up "You're the one who did this to me; I think it's time you took responsibility for your actions."

I crossed my arms over my chest and sat back against the headboard huffing slightly, Edward laughing a little.

"How about..." He began with that breathtaking smile "We tell him together...that way, if he decides to kill one of us, there are witnesses."

I smiled, chuckling a little before giving a slight nod.

"Sounds fair..." I said, pulling Edward to sit next to me.

He flashed another bright smile, making my knees go weak. Boy was it a good thing that I was sitting down. I turned to look at him as he closed his eyes, obviously trying to relax a little. I mean, it had been a big day. I watched as his chest rose and fell gently, the sound of his soft breathing actually soothing me. My gaze travelled from his chest to his mouth, where a hint of a smirk was playing. I always loved his smiles, even when I was a little girl, seeing Edward smile was probably the best part of my day. He smiles a lot. I badly wanted to lean over and kiss him, but decided against it. He looked too peaceful. My eyes continued to look across his perfect face. There was no doubt about it that I thought he was one of the most attractive guys I had ever seen, and no I am not just saying that because I'm his girlfriend. I had always though he was too good looking for his own good. His hair was falling into his eyes slightly, and it was just begging me to run my hands through it. Slowly, I reached over and began to play with it like I had been earlier, my fingers weaving in between his bronze locks.

"Hmm..." He mumbled, smiling more.

I could not be turned on more.

"Hey...Babe..." I began, feeling slightly nervous "Can I ask a..._hypothetical_ question?"

"Sure." He answered, opening his eyes and looking at me.

That just made everything worse.

"What is it?" He carried on.

I felt the words stick in my throat. I brought my hand away from his hair, moving it to the bottom of his shirt to play with the hem.

"Say...a girl was having a baby..." I began "Does that mean that her and her boyfriend can't...you know..."

"Have sex?" Edward questioned, an eyebrow raised as that heart flipping smirk reappeared.

"Yeah...hypothetically speaking of course." I looked up at him through my lashes "Could they? Or would it do damage to the baby?"

Edward leaned back so he was resting on his elbows.

"Uh...I think they could." He began, my heart rate increasing "I mean...it wouldn't do harm to the kid."

"Cool..." I went quiet again as he went back to relaxing.

"Hey Edward..." I asked again "Do you...remember anything from that night?"

"Not really." He said, sitting up and giving a sad looking smile "Which sucks."

"...you know..." I began, walking my fingers across his leg "We...could...you know, try it again...I mean, we're not drunk this time so we'll remember everything."

"Are you asking me to have sex with you?" He smiled, looking at me in slight disbelief.

I gave a sheepish smile and a slight nod, tucking my hair behind my ear.

"Bells..." Edward began, sitting up fully "You _just_ found out you're pregnant...don't you think it's maybe just your hormones that are talking here?"

"No!" I exclaim, scooting closer to him "Think about it. We can't remember our first time together; this would kinda be like a recap. And I'm going to be pregnant for 9 MONTHS. Think how long that is in sex years. You wouldn't want to bang a fat chick...plus, after we tell Charlie tonight about the baby, he's going to cut your...best friend...off. We'll never get to experience it ever again! And to top it, we're in the house _alone_."

He laughed a little, a small sigh escaping from his lips.

"I don't know..." He mumbled, rubbing the back of his neck "I really think we should leave it."

"_Edward..._" I pouted "C'mon, stop being a spoiled sport. It'll be fun."

"No Bells." He said, lying down and closing his eyes.

I glared at him, crossing my hands over my chest. Ugh, why did he have to be so damn twisted!? I thought he wanted to be with me! I'm practically offering myself to him and he's saying no! Men! Ugh! I sat there glaring, my arms clamped tightly across my chest as my so called 'boyfriend' lay next to me, but my frown soon disappeared when an idea popped into my head.

"Wow..." I began, Edward opening his eyes to look at me "Is it hot in here or is it just me?"

"Not gonna work..." He said in a sing song voice, closing his eyes once more.

I scowled again, but soon another idea came to mind. Smiling, I lay down on my stomach next to Edward. I ran my hand up his chest, causing his eyes to open again.

"You know, you are so hot..." I began, crawling up closer to him, never removing my hand from his chest "You should so totally walk around shirtless."

"Bella stop." He said, moving my hands away and sitting up, swinging his legs over the bed "You are acting so...un-Bella like. What's wrong with you?"

I sighed, running my hand through my hair.

"Nothing..." I whined "I just...I want to _be _with you. And you're acting like it's a bad thing. I mean, we've already had sex. If we hadn't then I wouldn't be pregnant, so what's the problem!?"

I stood up, and walked over to him, tripping over my feet as I did so. But he caught me.

"Bella...I just don't want to when you're so hormonal." He said, sounding like the mature one for once "You might end up regretting it."

"But I won't." I pouted, but he didn't budge "Fine then...maybe I'll take a drive down to La Push...visit Jacob." I grabbed my jacket and began walking to the door "You know I heard that his Dad is out tonight...maybe he'll want to _bond _with m..."

But I was cut off when I felt a strong hand wrap around my wrist and pull me back. I collided with Edward's chest, looking into his emerald green eyes. He gave me a smirk, dipping down and kissing me. Ha! I knew that would change his mind.  
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_**Edward's POV**_

"Oh. My. Gosh." I said a little breathless as Bella snuggled into my side, her hair tickling my chest.

"Hmm...I know." She smiled, pulling back to kiss my collar bone "I told you...Oh Lord, we didn't use a condom!"

"Little late for that now Bells..." I said, placing a hand on her stomach.

"Oops..." She said with a small smile, blushing with embarrassment.

I smiled at her, rubbing my forearm up and down her back as she closed her eyes. I'll admit. I had no intentions sleeping with her, knowing that her hormones were everywhere, but when she made that cute little pout I was like 'to hell with the hormones'. And I must say it was _great_! Plus the little statement about Jacob was quite sickening. At least I got her to shut up. Glancing over at the window, I realised it was dark out, and raining heavily. Ugh, I just wanted to stay in my nice comfy bed all night, Bella never leaving my side, but unfortunately the whole 'need to tell Charlie' thing had get taken care of.

"We need to get up..." I said softly, turning to look at her.

"Hmph...I don't wanna." Bella whined, snuggling into me more "Can't we just text him or something? Do something that doesn't involve me getting up. I'm a tired pregnant woman. I have needs."

I chuckled a little, sitting up and grabbing my boxers, slipping them on before getting up to get redressed.

"The quicker you're up, the quicker it's over with." I said, pulling my jeans on.

She moaned, flinging the blankets back and sitting up, stretching before letting her arms fall back down to her sides. This time I don't think she's trying to turn me on...but damn is it working. I slipped my shirt back on as she started getting dressed, and within 10 minutes, the two of us were downstairs and heading over to Bella's, praying that Charlie would take the news...well.

Taking a deep breath, Bella opened her front door, quickly getting in from the rain with me close behind. A strange smell filled the air, and straight away I knew that Charlie had 'attempted' his hand at cooking. Obviously it had went horribly wrong. I followed Bella as she walked into the smoky kitchen slowly, only to see Charlie scraping something that looked like burnt eggs into the trash.

"Hey Dad." Bella greeted him, fiddling with her fingers "Have a good day at work?"

"Hi Bells...Edward." He said with a smile, putting the dirty pan into the sink "I thought you were in your bed Bells."

"Uh...I went over to see Edward..." She replied, taking a seat at the kitchen table, whereas me...I stayed away from the man with the gun as much as I could.

"Well, I was thinking of ordering a pizza." Charlie said with a smirk, sitting down also "Cooking isn't my forte...sit down son."

He looked over at me, pointing to the seat next to Bella.

"Don't think just 'cause you guys are dating now I'll act differently around you."

I gave a fake smile, slowly walking over and taking a seat next to girlfriend, who I was probably never going to see again since I was about to become her _late _boyfriend. I can see my grave stone now.

_**Edward Anthony Cullen  
1990-2009  
What and idiot**_

I shuddered at the thought. I just wanted to get this over with, but Charlie just had to go and make my nerves worse by pulling his shot gun up on to the table to reload it. Glancing at Bella, I nudged her with my knee under the table. I wanted to get this over now so I could make a quick exit to the door. I say Charlie will be so stunned he won't be able to move for about...5 seconds. Plenty of time to get out...if I run fast. Bella cleared her throat, looking down at her hands before looking back at her father.

"Uh...Dad..." She began, tapping her foot slightly under the table.

"Yeah Bells..." He said with a smile, looking up from his gun.

"E-Edward has something to tell you." She said, pointing to me slightly.

WHAT!? I see I mean a lot to her if she's willing to risk my life! I looked at her with wide eyes, before quickly turning to Charlie, who was becoming a little curious as to what was going on.

"What is it boy?" He asked, his voice ringing in my ears "You in some sorta trouble?"

Yeah...with you.

"Uh...well that's open to interpretation." I began "Because...you will say it was my fault, but I clearly believe that Bella plays a big part in this also."

"Ok..." He trailed off "Spill it you two...what's going on."

"Can I just ask that you put the gun down...?" I asked "...And maybe all other deadly weapons if you're carrying them."

Slowly and cautiously, Charlie put the gun down onto the floor, never taking his eyes off me. I took a deep breath, trying to think of other ways to stall the conversation, but nothing came to mind. It was now or never.

"You know I like Bella a lot..." I began "I mean I love her..."

"Are you asking me if it's ok you marry her?" Charlie began, looking a little bit happy "Cause there's no problem there kiddo. You just pop the question, and I'll help you guys get everything arranged an..."

"Whoa!" I began, holding up my hands for him to stop "No, I'm not asking Bella to marry me...but we do have something to tell you."

"You broke up with her!?" His expression went from happy to angry in a matter of seconds.

"No Dad!" Bella finally jumped in "Edward and I have big news. You'll either be happy or angry, but the suspense is killing me here...so here it goes...Dad, I'm pregnant."

Charlie didn't say anything. He didn't move or blink, and for a small second, I actually thought that he had died. I was about to make my run for it when I felt a strong grasp on the front of my shirt, and before I could blink, Charlie had pulled me down to eye level.

"You got my little girl knocked up!?" He asked angrily.

"I am _so _sorry!" I said in a panic "We were at a party, and got _really _drunk..."

"DRUNK!" Charlie nearly choked on the word "You got her knocked up when she was drunk!?"

"Edward, you're not helping." I heard Bella say quietly "Dad...I'm sorry. It was an accident, and accidents happen. You told me that!"

"Yes I did Isabella, when you were five and broke the urn that your Grandma was in." He said.

If it wasn't a serious conversation we were having, I probably would have laughed at that.

"What are you going to do about school!?" He carried on "College!? You can't just have a baby and expect everything to go great!"

"Dad would you stop!" Bella began "You can't shout at me. You cannot shout at a pregnant woman!"

I have found her new excuse. Reluctantly, Charlie let go of the front of my shirt and ran a hand over his face, giving me time to run so I was standing behind Bella. He looked between the two of us before letting out a deep sigh.

"Well..." He began "I can't really do much since the two of you are both legal, so I guess...a congratulations are in order. I must say though Bella, I'm glad it was this guy that knocked you up instead of some sex crazed teenager. At least you'll be around Edward."

I gave a nod and a small smile as Charlie stood up. He extended his arm out towards me. I took hold of his hand as he gave it a firm shake before pulling me back down to whisper in my ear.

"Remember boy..." He began "I know where you live, and I swear I can kill you and make it look like an accident, so watch it."

I stood back up wide eyed, giving a small nod before Charlie gave a little smile, heading out the door to go watch the football.

"Well..." I said turning to Bella "That went better than expected."

She just chuckled, rolled her eyes and pulled me down for a hug. No all we had to deal with was _My _parents. Oh the joy.  
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**A/N: So what did you think? Like it? Love it? Or Hate it? You be the judge. Lol. Since you guys have been so great with all the reviews, I'm going to give you some questions about future chapters in the story that will help with the outcome that you guys want. Feel free to answer as many or as little as you want.**

**Do you want Bella to have a boy or a girl?**

**What names would you like if a boy?**

**What names would you like if a girl?**

**Do you want them to find out the sex of the baby before it's born?**

**Do I put too much dialogue into the chapters or are they fine the way they are? **

**Would you like to see the chapters longer or shorter?**

**Thanks guys. Please remember to R&R :o) **


	17. T Shirts and Booties!

**A/N: WOW! That's all I can say to sum up my reaction on the amount of feedback I had from the last chapter. 84 reviews! That's mental! Thank you so so much. I'm so glad that you all liked it. I know Bella's attitude in the last chapter was very OOC, but that's the way I write my characters. Every character I write, I try and make them different from the original, that way people can be surprised and not expect the same thing. Hope that made sense. Lol. It did in my head.**

**I got a lot of ideas from story lines, so I'm probably going to take a few of them and combine them. If the outcome in the end is not what some of you wanted, I am sorry. You just can't please everyone, but I hope you continue to read because the last chapter will hopefully make everyone a little happy. I planned it all out today. Lol**

**Well, I'll be gone this weekend, so no updates for any of my stories, but I promise when I'm back there will be lots more. But since I'll be gone for a few days, I will tell you guys a little about the future. There will be only ONE baby. No twins or anything :o)**

**Thanks again :o)  
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_**Edward's POV**_

We were approaching my front door now. Thankfully, Charlie had taken the news very well...for him anyway. I mean, he didn't even reach for the gun! That's gotta mean something. But now, we had to face the wrath of something just as worse..._MY _parents. I know what you're thinking. You survived the man with the gun. This should be no problem. Yeah right. Charlie was nothing compared to my mother. She made a telemarketer cry! Seriously. She may look sweet and innocent. The perfect housewife and mother, but deep down there is a demon there that needs exorcising. My Mom was not someone I wanted to get on the wrong side with. If it came down to a fight between her and King Kong, she'd win hands down! Emmett was even scared of her! I know...weird right?

My Dad on the other hand, I wasn't too worried about. The thing that would bother him would be the fact that I had had sex before marriage. Both my parents were firm believers in that. But hopefully when they look past that tiny little detail, and mother has stopped beating me to death with a rolling pin, they will be happy. My parents weren't much older than Bella and I when I was adopted. They were 22, had been married for a year and decided that they would take me in. I was just turning two at the time. The same time I met Bella, whose parents were still together at the time. I was thankful that telling parents would end with Esme and Carlisle. Charlie would probably fill in Renee and Phil. We came o a stop on my front porch, taking a deep breath to brace ourselves.

"You Ready?" Bella asked with a nervous smile.

"...I think so." I said, taking hold of her hand "...Let's do this."

With a little nod, Bella tightened her grip on my hand as I led the two of us into the house. I could smell brownies being made and decided that now was the time. My Mom was always in a good mood while she was in the kitchen. She cooked and baked at all hours of the day...even at night. We made our way into the kitchen, the same place where I found out I was becoming a father might I add, to see my Mom and Dad sitting at the table with a cup of coffee. Gee, everyone is finding out in a kitchen.

"Oh hey kids." Esme said, looking up at us with a smile "How's it going."

I didn't want to waste any time. I just wanted to do it quick and painless, like ripping off a band aid...although those things can hurt like a bitch. I didn't even glance at Bella. All I did was hold her hand even tighter, probably to the point where her knuckles were turning white, close my eyes and took a deep breath.

"Bella's pregnant!" I blurt out before immediately shielding myself behind my girlfriend.

I know...what a hero!

I opened my eyes to see Carlisle with his mouth open, gaping at us in disbelief, and Esme holding onto her mug so tightly that I could swear I could her the ceramic cracking. Here it comes. The shouting...the screaming...

"You're pregnant?" she said in her normal voice.

...The complete calmness of it all?

Bella just nodded a little, blushing slightly.

"As in...A baby?" Carlisle stuttered, obviously not really believing it "Ha ha guys. Nice one. You really had me fooled there."

He smiled before taking a rather large sip of his coffee.

"It's true." I began "Bella just found out earlier on today. Charlie knows."

"Are you telling us the truth?" My mother began, her tone picking up a little.

"Yes!" I cried "Do we need to go and get those pee sticks to prove it!?"

"Pregnancy tests Edward." Bella corrected with a whisper before turning to my parents "I'm really sorry. I...we didn't mean it to happen. It was a drunken mistake."

I watched as Esme got up. She walked up to us, and then done something that I never thought I would see happen. She pulled Bella in for a hug.

"Don't you worry." She said all motherly like, pulling back to look at my girlfriend "We'll get you all fit and healthy. I'll get you lots of book and we'll make appointments for the doctors. We can go shopping for baby supplies and everything."

Holy shit! Did that just happen? Bella let out a deep breath, Esme smiling before she gave her another hug. Once they broke apart, Bella went to see Carlisle, who gave her a smile before hugging her, meanwhile, Esme approached me, her arms crossed over her chest. I gave a nervous smile, backing up a little.

"Hey Mommy..." I squeaked out.

"Oh Edward Anthony Cullen." She said, reaching up and grabbing my ear, leading me out of the kitchen and into the living room "You have _a lot _of explaining to do."

"Ow, ow, ow, ow." I chanted as we walked, the tight grip on my ear never ceasing.

Why is it always the father that gets hurt?  
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_**Bella's POV**_

I was surprised that telling Carlisle and Esme had been so easy...for me anyway. I could almost hear Edward grovelling from the kitchen as his parents had a little 'talk' with him. But now that everyone knows about the little bundle of joy that is on the way, I feel a huge weight has been lifted. Well everyone apart from Emmett and Jasper know, but it's not like they're going to go all 'parental' on us...at least I hope not.

When it came time for school the next day, Edward and I walked in hand-in-hand, just like any other day. We walked through the halls towards the cafeteria, where we saw our dearest friends sitting at the usual table having a laugh. Alice a little close to hysterics, but she had a cup of coffee in hand, so that was nothing unusual. I thought I had told Jasper in the past. No caffeine for Alice before 9 o'clock! Ugh. Men. It goes in one ear and straight back out the other. We had decided that I would be the one to tell the boys, since Edward had dealt with all three parents. What a brave brave man.

"Hey guys." I greeted with a smile, taking a seat at the table, Edward following.

He scooted his seat close to mine, entwining our fingers. I looked at Alice and Rosalie, who were grinning from ear to ear. Their eyes were sparkling, and I could tell that they were happy that Edward and I were still together.

"How you feeling?" Rose asked, the smile never fading.

"A little tired." I replied "I've been throwing up all night, and this morning. Seriously, it takes a lot out of you."

"Still feeling a bit rough?" Emmett asked, taking a sip of his own coffee."

I just smirked a little, looking down at the table before fixing my gaze in front of me, where Alice was sitting, the same huge smile plastered across her face.

"I got this for you!" She said happily, passing me a box across the table.

"And I got you this one." Rose said, sliding a similar box to me.

By this time, Emmett and Jasper were exchanging confused looks. Smiling, I opened the box that Alice passed me. My smile grew when I saw what it was. A t-shirt. I picked up, showing it to Edward who smiled in return.

"Oh Alice..." I cooed, holding it up against myself "You shouldn't have. I love it."

" Shit!" I heard Jasper say.

I guess he saw what was on the shirt. Across the chest was a picture of oven dials, and lower down was a picture of the front of an oven with a bun inside I smiled at his reaction. His eyes were wide, and he was impersonating a goldfish perfectly, where as Emmett...actually Emmett didn't notice anything really. All he did was giggle...yes, giggle.

"Speaking of Buns and ovens." He began, rubbing his stomach "I'm kinda hungry."

Not the brightest crayon in the box, is he?

We all rolled our eyes a little, everyone except Jasper, who was still trying to come to terms with it. A shocked Jasper was a funny Jasper. I folded the shirt back up and put in back in the box before pulling the one that Rosalie had given me over. I smiled again as I opened it, laughing at what I saw. Edward just blushed a little when he saw it. It was another t-shirt. Pulling it out I held it up, laughing more. I showed it to Jasper, who I swear was on the verge of taking a seizure.

"OH MY GOSH!" He cried.

I turned the shirt back round to face me, smiling at what was written on it. _**He did this to me! **_With a big arrow pointing to the side. Now I could tell that Jasper had definitely clicked onto what was going on, but still, Emmett was totally clueless. Boys.

"I don't get it." The big bear of a boy said, scratching his head.

"Maybe this will fill you in then Emmy." Rose said, pulling out a bag and handing it to Edward "Here Edward. We couldn't forget you now could we?"

She smiled as Edward took the bag from her hand, opening it up and pulling out his own t-shirt. It was a blue and white baseball jersey, and written on it were the words _**Dad to be 09**_. I smiled. How cute would it be to see Edward in that and me in my oven shirt, him with his hand on my stomach as our baby kicked for the first time. I could picture it now. We all turned to look at Emmett, who was looking as puzzled as ever between the shirt and Edward, but soon his eyes went wide and he gasped, standing up and pointing a finger at us.

"NO F-ING WAY!" He cried.

I just laughed. Took him long enough.

"You're...pregnant?" He whispered the last part, sitting back in his seat.

"Yeah..." I said, blushing slightly.

"H-how? WHEN!?" He asked, still in shock.

"Remember the two people who took over your room at the party?" Edward asked, only for Edward to nod "Well that was us."

"DUDE!" He grimaced "I had to redecorate!"

I laughed a little, as did everyone else, but I soon stopped when I felt my stomach churn. It began to do flips, and I knew straight away that if I didn't run soon, then everyone was going to see my breakfast again.

"Ugh." I said, standing up and throwing my hand over my mouth. Rosalie and Alice knew what was wrong straight away, and all three of us ran to the bathroom.  
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_**Edward's POV**_

I was about to get up and follow when I saw Bella was running for the toilets, but Rose and Alice bet me to it. When all three had gone, I turned to m face my friends, Emmett still in shock, and Jasper...well Jasper was about the same. Hey, at least their reactions were better than mine.

"So..." I began, giving a small smirk "Surprise."

"Dude!" Jasper began, talking low "You told us that you nailed her at the party, but you forgot to mention that tiny little detail where you knocked her up!"

"I only found out yesterday." I said, defending myself "And so did Bella. Believe me, we would have told you earlier if we knew."

Jasper gave a small nod before a smile began to creep across his face. He ran a hand through his golden locks before sitting back, letting out a sigh.

"Wow..." He began "I can't believe you're going to be a father dude! I mean, you would not shut up about how much you didn't want to be a Dad when we were doing that shity-ass project, and now! Now you seem almost...excited. What changed?"

"I don't know." I began, leaning forward with a small smile "I guess...when Bella and I got together, I knew that I wanted something more than just a fling. I wanted a serious relationship, which I have never felt the want for before. And when she told me that she was pregnant...I felt happy...as well as scared shitless."

Both Emmett and Jasper laughed a little.

"I didn't believe her at first." I carried on with a smirk "I thought she just wanted a good laugh at my reaction, but...according to the doctor, she is definitely up the spout. I am excited though. I mean, how hard could looking after a kid be?"

"I recall you asking the same thing about the egg if I'm correct." Jasper said with a smirk "There's a slight difference between an egg and a baby Edward. For example, you won't find a new baby in a fridge if anything goes wrong, and unfortunately stores don't sell them. And, unlike the egg, which you only had a week, the baby is for life. They learn to talk...and even worse...they learn to talk back!"

Emmett laughed.

"Shut up." I said "You just wait till the day that Alice and Rose come running to you guys saying that they're expecting. Then who'll be the one laughing? HA!"

They shut up at that point, fear flashing across their eyes. Best to change the subject now. I stuffed the t-shirt that Rosalie and Alice bought me back into the bag, although I really wanted to put it on a parade down the halls, letting everyone know what was going to happen in my life pretty soon, but if Bella caught me, I probably wouldn't live to see my child.

"So what are you getting the girls for Valentine's day?" I asked, running my fingers through my hair, hoping that their answers would give me some ideas of my own.

I was a little worried about the day. I had never actually had a girlfriend to buy presents for, so I was pretty clueless as to what to get. Roses? Nah, too predictable. Chocolates? Bella would think I'm trying to make her fat before the bump even appears. Ugh...why couldn't things be simple? I couldn't even get her jewellery, because Bella being the tomboy that she is, didn't really wear it.

"Well, I'm taking Rose out for dinner." Emmett said with a proud smile "Then I'm taking her back to my place to watch the original _Texas Chainsaw Massacre_. I've got her it on DVD!"

"How romantic." Jasper said, his voice dripping with sarcasm "As for me, I'll be cooking Alice her dinner...with a little help from the phone book for a good take out. And this will sound totally cheesy, but I'm going to give her a rose for every year we've known each other."

I laughed. Jasper could only make two things. A bowl of cereal and a phone call to the nearest pizzeria. The rose idea did sound a little corny, but Alice was into all that romantic stuff. Unfortunately I was still stumped on what to get Bella. Maybe she would drop hints about what she wanted, or where she wanted to go. Or maybe Rosalie and Alice would fill me in, since their boyfriends were no help whatsoever. I actually really hated Valentine's Day. Why had there have to be only one day in the year to celebrate how much you love a person? You should do it every day. And that's what I planned to do. Every day I would tell Bella how much I love her and how much I need her in my life. We would always be together.  
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_**Bella's POV**_

I emptied my breakfast into the toilet, coughing a little as Alice handed me a bottle of water. I graciously took it, swirling the water around my mouth before spitting it into the toilet and flushing. Ugh. I'm happy to be pregnant, but when this kid comes out of me I'll be having some strong worlds with them. It's not nice to make Mommy sick. I stood up and made my way out of the tiny stall, washing my hands and looking at myself in the mirror. Ugh. I looked like crap.

"Why! Why does sickness come with being pregnant!?" I moaned, taking another sip of water, spitting it out again "And it's not even just the morning I'm getting it! All last night!"

"Well...Bella, babies can't really tell when It's morning." Rosalie began, a small smile playing at her lips.

"Then they should come with and alarm clock!" I said, running the water and wetting my face.

Hopefully the sickness would hold off until the end of the day. After fixing myself up, Rose, Alice and I headed out of the bathroom, just in time for the bell. We made our way down the halls me, heading for Biology. At least Edward was with me first period.

"So Bella." Alice began "Do you guys plan on telling anyone else about the pregnancy right now or not?"

"Probably not." I said, my hand coming to rest on my stomach as I looked down a little "I don't want to draw too much attention to myself...although that will be a little difficult. I want to see how long I can get away with it, and if people do start questioning me or talking, then I'll fill them in."

"Cool." Alice chirped "Anyway, we need to get to class, but we'll see you at lunch, ok?"

"Ok." I Smiled "See you guys later."

We waved and I headed into the class room, seeing Edward sitting at our desk. He gave me a small smile as I took a seat next to him, resting my head on the desk. He rubbed me back slowly, causing me to smile. I couldn't believe how lucky I was. Most teenagers who tell their boyfriends that they're pregnant would be left to handle it alone. But Edward seemed as excited as I was. I couldn't wait until we had the baby. Secretly I was hoping for a little boy, but I would be happy with a girl.

"You feeling better now?" Edward asked me as I sat up.

"Yeah?" I smiled, taking his hand in mine and resting them on the table "Those t-shirts were great."

He laughed, causing me to smile even more. The day seemed to be going great so far...well, apart from the whole throwing up part. People began to file into the class, talking and murmuring. I couldn't help but feel like I was being watched. And that's when the 'great morning' ended. Mike Newton approached me, but he didn't have on that cocky arrogant smile.

"Is it true?" He asked, looking between Edward and I a little stunned.

"Is what true Mike?" Edward asked, looking a little bored.

"That Bella's pregnant!?"

My heart stopped. How the hell did he find out so quickly? My eyes went wide as I went to speak, but nothing came out. I felt my cheeks begin to burn, and that was enough for anyone. My reaction gave Mike his answer. He scoffed a little, glaring at Edward before heading over to some boys at the back saying 'it's true'. I looked at Edward, who looked just as bewildered. Emmett, Jasper, Alice and Rose wouldn't dream about saying something to anyone...and that's when I saw her. The plastic blonde standing at the front of the class, whispering into some girls ear as she pointed to me. Tanya Denali. She must of heard my conversation with Alice and Rose out in the hall! Edward must have noticed where my gaze was fixed.

"Bells...Don't" he said, trying hold me down in my seat.

But it was too late. I got up, storming over to the bitch that I had once tried to be friendly to. When I approached her, the girl that she had been talking to scurried off, leaving me alone with her. I watched as she smiled, crossing her arms over her chest and cocking her head to the side slightly.

"Well...good morning Bella." She said in a cheery voice "Congratulations on the news. I couldn't help but overhear you little conversation in the hall...so I took it upon myself to help you out and tell everyone...I didn't think you would min..."

But I cut her off...Doing and Edward, as I know liked to call it. I punched her right on the nose. Ha! Don't mess with a hormonal pregnant woman, Bitch! I watched as she fell to the ground, screaming in pain at the contact my fist had made with her face. But I could care less. I stood there as she looked up at me, her hand covering her nose in case I went for a second punch, and boy was it tempting, but Edward had dragged me out of the classroom before I had the chance. He continued to drag me down the halls, but I didn't care where he was taking me.

"I should go back there and knock that girls head clean off her shoulders!" I spat "What gives her the right to tell everyone, and where are you taking me!?"

"Home." He said, pulling me out of the school building and leading me to the Volvo "You're obviously feeling a little irritable. Take a few days rest. It'll be good for you. The last thing we want is to have you dealing with more stress."

I sighed and got into the car. I wasn't going to argue with him. After all, this was his baby too.  
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_**Edward's POV**_

Bella did what I said with no arguments, which I must admit, was a first. She took the next few days off, and before I knew it, Valentine's Day was here. Yay! I was happy at the fact that I had managed to figure out the perfect gift for her, with a little help from Alice and Rose of course, who had insisted on coming with me to get it, but in all honesty, I was glad they helped. I just knew that she would love the present.

After having dinner, I went over to her house. Charlie was at La Push watching a football game with Billy Black, so I was happy that it would only be the two of us. I gave the door a light knock before walking in, heading straight upstairs with the small box in hand.

"Bells." I called out.

"In here!" She said from her room.

I chapped the door and walked in, finding her lying on her bed reading, what a surprise, but when she saw me she put the book down and smiled.

"Hey." She greeted as I took a seat next to her, kissing her "Happy Valentine's Day."

"Happy Valentine's Day." I said back, holding her present tight "I...I didn't really know what to get you, because I have never been in the position where I had to do this before, but I think you'll like this."

I smiled and handed her the box. She gave me a quizzical look before opening the present, but when she did she gasped. Her eyes welled up with tears and a small smile crept over her flawless face.

"Oh my gosh." She said, her hand going to her mouth "They're beautiful."

She slowly pulled the present from the box, revealing a tiny pair of white baby booties. I knew getting something for the baby would make the perfect present for Bella. She looked from the booties to me, wrapping her arms around my neck and kissing me.

"So I did well with the gift?" I asked with a smirk.

"Hell yeah." She smiled back, wiping her tears with one hand "It's perfect. Thank you."

I smiled and leaned in to kiss her again.  
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**A/N: So, I'm not happy with this chapter at all, but I wanted to give you all something before I went away.**

**I noticed that when I was writing this, my dates have gotten mixed up throughout the story, so I'm going to fill you in. The group have just entered their senior year, so they'll graduate when their closer to 19. I'm not from America, so I don't know how all this stuff works, but I read that some people graduate nearer the age of 19. I really want to write the prom chapter, because I have it all planned out, and for all those people who like the super fluffy stuff, I'm sure you'll like it. Lol.**

**Anywayz, please R&R this chapter and tell me what you think. I don't like it, but hopefully you will :o)**

**Thanks.**

**Also, if you want to see the pictures of the T-shirts, the links are on my profile.**


	18. Pizza, Tomato Juice and Break In's!

**A/N: Aw guys, thank you so much. I had an AMAZING time when I was away, but missed updating lol. I'm really glad you liked the last chapter, and OMG I've now got over 600 reviews. When I came home and saw that I nearly died lol.**

**I would like to give a HUGE thank you to **_**Uvabunchies **_**who gave me some hints and corrected some stuff for me. Don't worry, I wasn't offended at all :o) I like getting mail like that, It shows me what I need to work on, so thank you so much. I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter though. The whole 'round' and 'around' thing may be caused it is how I say it. We all say it like that where I come from lol.**

**Hope you enjoy this chapter :o)**

**Ha ha to Tanya! Lol I love some of your guys ideas :o)**

**Also, the link for the bun in the oven t-shirt is now working :o)**

**I have writers block, so I'm making this chapter up as I go along. Sorry if it's bad.****  
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_**Edward's POV**_

Names! Names! Names! That's all I've been hearing for the past two weeks! '_Edward have you thought of any names...Edward you should start thinking of names...Name it after me Edward! No Me!' _I mean, for the love of all things that are holy in the world! I am NOT the person who is actually going to give birth to this baby (Not that I'm complaining about that), but why isn't Bella being asked these things? Ha...that was a stupid question. Since the whole 'Tanya' incident, everyone had become scared shitless of my Bella. I know, right. I mean a frickin' Care Bear looked more ferocious than my girlfriend...although I will admit; she had done a number on the BBB (Bleach Blonde Bitch...Bella's words, not mine). A few days after Bella had punched Tanya, which was hilarious mind you, we all got a good laugh. The usual confident 'I'm so hot' girl walked into biology with her head hung low, her dried out blonde hair creating a curtain round her face. It wasn't until she took a seat and looked up at the board when the laughter erupted.

Tanya's piercing blue eyes were now black and blue (which I must say was an improvement) all the way round, yellow at the edges. Her top lip was swollen and jutted out a little, giving her the 'Simpsons' type look, which in itself was funny...but the best part was, that she had to walk around with a metal splint taped across her nose, the tacky tape covering most of her face. Who knew Bella had that good a punch on her. Remind me never to mess with a hormonal pregnant woman. Hands down, I won't win any argument. She sorta had a racoon crossed over with Jason Voorhees type look (Again, Bella's words), but I had to agree. It was funny. Bella had stated that she was incredibly proud of herself, creating a look that would even scare the shit out of Stephen King.

Tanya had decided to do the smart thing, and stay away from Bella. She even stayed away from me! Hallelujah. All I can say is that it's about damn time. Seriously, the girl needs to take a hint. But of course, when one problem is sorted, a whole new one begins, and like I've said, it's all to do with stupid names!

It had been confirmed that Bella was 7 weeks along, heading into the eighth. After talking for a while, we decided that we were going to find out the sex of the baby. At first though, I wasn't too thrilled. I really wanted to make it a surprise, but Bella was going to be the one to have to go through all that pain in the end, so I gave her the choice. We also discussed about what would happen _after _we became parents. Would we move in together? Get married? Or just stay the way we were and run the baby back and forth, which I wasn't really for. Another thing that constantly crossed my mind was college. How would we cope with our studies _and_ a baby? Maybe I shouldn't think too far ahead. Try and get passed the next seven months first.

Like I said, two weeks had passed since Bella decided to knock fists with Tanya's face, and everything was going pretty smooth. Bella and I, along with Jasper, Emmett, Alice and Rosalie all sat in my room, the TV on in the background playing 'The Wackness', but none of us were really paying attention to it. Emmett, Jasper and I sat by the computer, looking up random videos on YouTube as the girls lounged on the bed talking and giggling. Glad I wasn't over there with them.

"Hey guys...C'mere" Alice's chirpy voice rang out.

Damn, I spoke too soon. We all heaved a sigh before abandoning the computer to join the girls. I swear I almost took a fit when I saw what they were doing. Looking up frickin' baby names! Ugh! Maybe this is a sign that I've to settle on some names NOW rather than later.

"Ok, girls names first!" Rosalie exclaimed a pen and notepad in hand "I like Rachel!"

"I don't know..." I muttered, rubbing the back of my neck "I mean, isn't that really common."

"Yeah, I don't really like it." Bella chimed in "I like Hannah..."

"Really?" I asked "I always took you as a more traditional type person."

She smiled a little, and all I could do was give one in return.

"I have the best girls name ever!" We heard Emmett bellow, jumping up and down a little out of excitement.

"What is it babe?" Rosalie asked with a smile, flipping open the note pad to write it down.

"Emmettina!" He cried with a smile.

Emmettina!? Holy shit...he's not even kidding! I'm sorry, but under no circumstances am I naming my daughter Emmettina. That is _way_ past the line of child abuse. I glanced over at Bella, who was looking a little nervous. It was times like this where I could read Bella like a book, and right now she was saying _'Emmettina!? Please, I would rather chew off my arm and beat myself to death with it than call my child that!' _But of course, Bella being Bella took the more polite approach, whereas I would probably have said 'Hell No' in about 8 different languages.

"Emmett..." She began with a smile "I think with such a beautiful...unique...name, people may find it a little strange. We wouldn't want that now would we...why don't you save it for _your _first little girl. That way it'll be more special and have more meaning to it."

I tried to hold back a laugh as Bella reasoned with Emmett, and watched as Rosalie shot my girlfriend a terrified look when she mention Emmett's first kid's name. Emmettina McCarty. Had a nice ring to it, don't you think. Lying down next to Bella, who was lounging on the bed, I gave her a smirk.

"Why don't we skip girls names just now and move on to boys..." Alice said "Because I know for a fact that you guys will be having a little boy. I can feel it."

"Alice...It's too soon to tell." Bella said with a smirk "And what makes you so certain?"

"Please!" She scoffed "When am I ever wrong?"

"Well..." Emmet began "...there was that one time when you thought that Jasper was cheating on you when he went on vacation to Texas. Remember, you followed him to his family's ranch and ended up making his cousin cry because you saw her hugging him."

Alice just blushed and gave a nervous smile, looking between everyone.

"Ok...so I was wrong that _one _time." She stated.

"Oh!" I heard Bella exclaim "And what about that time you had the news crews at the school because you thought you saw a flying saucer."

"How the hell was I supposed to know it was a Frisbee!?" she bellowed.

We all laughed at Alice's seriousness.

"I would have thought the words 'Made in China' would have been a hint." I said through my laughter.

At this I received a glare from Alice, ducking from a pillow that she launched at me.

"I don't care what you say." She stated in a matter of fact tone, crossing her arms over her chest "It's a boy."

We all just smirked, letting her bask in her little moment.  
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_**Bella's POV**_

Oh my goodness. Who knew that choosing baby names would be so damn difficult! We must have been sitting there for about 3 hours, Alice and Rosalie shouting out some of the most random names I have ever heard of. For example, when we were discussing boy's names Alice suggested things like Lucious and Jomo! And Rose...well, I feel quite embarrassed for Rose's suggestion. Let's just say a famous Disney Warthog was her inspiration. In all honesty, I was finding it a bit stressful. I didn't want to pick out names right away. I didn't even know if Edward did. All I was certain of was that our baby's last name was going to be Cullen. No doubt about that.

Once everyone had left, it was about 11pm, and there was no denying it, but I was beat. I quickly got ready for bed, climbing in next to Edward who was flicking through the channels of his oversized TV. Since telling our parents about the baby, things had been quite a bit easier. To make sure that Edward would do his fair share throughout the remaining seven months, Esme had decided that it would be best if I stayed at their place half the week, and Edward would stay at mine the other half, that way we were always together, which neither of us were upset about. And surprisingly, Charlie was all for the idea! I know, weird. The treatment that I was getting off my Dad was brilliant! No shouting, no chores...hell, I don't know why I didn't get pregnant sooner! Seriously, I don't know why women complain so much when they're expecting. So far it's been a walk in the park for me...we'll, apart from constantly throwing up, the 'BBB' incident and the fact that I can't stop peeing.

I pulled the large comforter over my body, sighing in content at the heat. Edward shot me a small smile as I snuggled up into his side, resting my head on his chest. This was always the best part of the night.

It was about 1 in the morning when I woke up, a loud rumble coming from my stomach. Glancing over at my left, I saw that Edward was out cold, snoring lightly and drooling a little. Very Attractive. Sitting up, I stretched a little. Man was I hungry. I rubbed my stomach as it rumbled again, groaning a little. Sitting back I looked over at Edward, who rolled on to his back.

"Edward..." I whispered, moving a little closer to him "You awake?"

But there was no answer. Ugh. The boy sleeps like he's dead!

"Edward..." I said a little louder, shaking him, but all I got was this:

"Don't go away Homer..." He mumbled, rolling onto his side "We can share the moon bounce!"

And he makes a fool of me because I talk in my sleep. Next time he makes a comment I am going to bring up this little incident. I huffed a little, sitting with my back up against the headboard, my arms crossed tightly over my chest. I began to scope the room a little, a small smile forming on my face when an idea popped into my head. Leaning down, I picked one of Edward's ratty old converse sneakers up. I smiled slyly, looking between the shoe and the sleeping boy, and without a second thought, I whacked him over the head with it, throwing it back to the floor as he shot up.

"W-what happened!" He exclaimed, oblivious as to what I had done.

"Oh hey honey..." I played dumb "You're awake. Can't you sleep?"

He looked at me slightly dazed, rubbing the back of his head where the shoe had made contact.

"Ugh..." He groaned "I feel like I've been kicked over the head...what time is it?"

"A little after one." I said, wide awake "Hey, since you're up, let's talk!"

He gave me a look as if to say 'Are you crazy?', but all I did was smile. He sighed a little, running his fingers through his messy hair before yawning.

"Can't this wait till later Bells?" He asked "Like when the sun is up?"

"I guess...I just wanted to say that I was really hungry..." I said with a slight pout, the pout that I know he can't resist "And I was going to ask...if it wasn't too much trouble, if you could get me something to eat."

"What is it that you're wanting?" He asked without a fight, climbing out of bed and putting on his jeans and t-shirt.

"I...I don't think that you'll have it...that's the only problem." I said with a sorry expression.

I could tell that he was a little reluctant to go out, especially at this time, but the craving that I was having wouldn't go away. He sighed a little, sitting on the bed to put his shoes on.

"...It's alright..." He began "I'll find a store that's open. I guess this sorta stuff comes with being pregnant. What you needin'?"

"Pizza. Extra cheese with peanut butter and chocolate sauce." I said, my mouth watering "Ooh! And some tomato juice too. That would be great."

He turned to face me, his mouth hanging open and his eyes wide. I watched him as his face soon screwed up, a disgusted look taking place of the shock.

"You know." He began "I never knew that someone could ruin pizza for me. Where am I supposed to get a pizza that has ice cream toppings and sandwich fillers? I doubt any pizza place will be open...or make a strange request like that. Can't you be a normal pregnant woman and crave dirt or chalk?"

I glared at him, crossing my arms over my chest. He stood and looked at me, but soon gave in when he saw that I wasn't budging.

"Ok, fine." He said, causing me to smile.

"Thank you!" I exclaimed, pulling him down by the front of his shirt for a kiss.

I wrapped my arms around his neck, not wanting to pull away from our embrace any time soon, but another loud growl from my stomach forced us apart. He chuckled slightly, kissing my forehead before heading for the door.

"We have a pizza in the freezer, but no peanut butter or chocolate sauce." He informed.

"There's some at my place." I said "Just sneak in, get it and sneak back out."

"Where's your keys?" He asked, holding out his hand a little.

When he asked this question, I cringed a little, covering it up with a sheepish smile. I watched as he closed his eyes and sighed, realisation hitting him.

"You've forgotten your key's..." He began "Haven't you?"

"...Little bit..." I said "Look, just climb in through my bedroom window. It's open a little. You'll be in and out within two minutes. Just DON'T get caught. Charlie can get a little grouchy when he's woken up."

"Don't I know!?" He said "Remember my 16 birthday party. He thought the music was too loud, came over to the house and threw my CD player out the window!"

"Edward, if you remember correctly it was 12 in the morning." I said "Now go, I'm really hungry."

Sighing, he rolled his eyes and left.  
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_**Edward's POV**_

Ugh. Cheese pizza with peanut butter and chocolate sauce. I think I might throw up. Emmett would even turn down **that** meal, and c'mon! That's going somewhere. I saw the guy eat a tub of out of date yoghurt once! I still shudder at the memory of it. Creeping out my room, I quietly walked to the end of the hall towards the stairs, peering into my parent's room to see them both sound. I nearly tripped heading downstairs, but thankfully made it to the kitchen safely, without waking anyone. I took out the pizza, popping it into the oven before heading over to Bella's house.

It was freezing out, and raining! Man. I _must _really love this girl if I'm doing all of this for pizza toppings. I quietly crept over the lawn into Bella's yard, looking around before beginning to climb up the trellis. I slipped a couple of times, and got my foot stuck, but soon I was climbing in through the window into the nice warm DRY house. I looked over at my place, seeing Bella at the window with a smile. She waved a little, and all I could do was wave back. I headed over to the door, wanting to get in and out quickly. I mean, c'mon. I was practically breaking and entering to get my girlfriend junk food. Wow, imagine explaining that to the parents.

Again, I crept out the room, looking to make sure that Charlie wasn't around before heading downstairs towards the kitchen. I made sure I skipped every creaky step, tip toeing into the kitchen in search of the 'toppings' for the pizza, leaving the room in darkness. My little break in was going great...that was until I lost my balance and fell into the kitchen table, knocking over one of the chairs. Scrambling, I picked it up, setting it back upright before putting my finger to my lips and 'shushing' it. Yeah, I know...like it could hear me. I stood still, waiting to hear the sound of Charlie rushing downstairs. But all I could hear was silence. Sighing in relief, I walked over to the cupboards and opened them, smiling when I saw the large jar of peanut butter and bottle of chocolate sauce sitting on the top shelves.

Reaching up, I grabbed both items. This was easier than I thought. I was just about to shut the cupboard door and quickly get out and back to making this stupid pizza, but was stopped when the cupboard door flew shut and smashed into my face, causing me to go flying against the back door. I groaned in pain as I slid down to the floor, clutching the side of my face. My eyes squinted when the light came on, and looking up slightly dazed, I saw Charlie standing with a baseball bat in hand.

"Edward?" He said, very confused.

"Who did you think it was?" I asked standing up "Britney Spears!? Jeez Mr. S!"

"What was I supposed to do!?" Charlie asked, sitting the bat on the table "You made quite a racket down here. I thought I was being robbed."

"And all I was stealing was peanut butter and chocolate sauce!?" I winced; touching the side of my eye where there was a slight cut "Aw damn, that's going to bruise."

I looked up at Charlie who was still looking a little confused, so instead of standing there like a real idiot, I decided that it would be best to fill him in on why I had climbed through his daughter's bedroom window in the middle of the night to steal his food.

"Bella had a crazy craving type thing..." I informed "She had me come over here and get the food to go with her extra cheese pizza."

"Yum..." Charlie said his face in disgust "Well, sorry about the eye kiddo. But hey, this will make a great story for the kid."

We both chuckled a little as I grabbed the jar and bottle.

"C'mon." Charlie said with a smile "I'll walk you back."

Once safely in the house, I went straight to the kitchen to find the pizza burning, but thankfully got it in time. Screwing my face up, I scooped dollops of the peanut butter up and smeared it over the bubbling cheese before squeezing the chocolate sauce over it. My face hurt like hell, and all I could think was that Bella better appreciate this damn midnight feast! Once everything was plated up and her gross tomato juice had been poured, I silently made my way back upstairs, this time without tripping. I walked down the hall, noticing my parents were still sleeping, much to my liking.

I came to a stop outside my room, nudging the door open with my foot and walking in, carrying the disgusting food and gut wrenching drink in my hands.

"Bells, I swear you better be hungry. My face got acquainted with your cupboard door for this stupid pizza!"

But there was no reply, only the sound of Bella's shallow breathing. Oh hell no! Walking over to the bed, I practically dropped the food. She was asleep! I get up in the middle of the night to make her food, go out in the rain, climb the side of her house (getting my foot stuck in the process), get attacked by her Dad and SHE'S ASLEEP! Hmm...maybe I should try counting to ten again. What'd ya think?  
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**A/N: OMG I am so sorry for the huge delay. I come back from my weekend away, only to find that my internet has stopped working, THEN when I get it working again, FF won't let me log in! Seriously, I've been trying to post this for three days! Lol. Please leave lots of nice reviews. I have had one hell of a week and need some cheering up. Lots of things have been going on. Thanks guys :o)**


	19. Birthing Tapes and Phone Calls!

**A/N: Aw, thanks for the reviews guys. I'm really glad that you liked the last chapter. I know it was really random lol. I get like that sometimes lol. Hope you enjoy this one :o)**

**Also, those of you who want to know my fic 'Save Me' has not been forgotten about. I kinda have writers block for that, but hopefully will think of some good ideas soon. I know how I want it to end; it's just trying to write the chapters that go in between. Lol. Thanks to those who are reading and/or reviewing that one, and my other 'Light in the Dark' I love where that one is headed :o)**

**Sorry, I always ramble in these Author Notes. Lol. **

**On with the story...**

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_**Edward's POV**_

A few day's had passed since Bella's little 'Midnight Feast' as she liked to call it. Personally I thought 'Night of Living Hell' was better suited, but she wanted to be all 'Proper'. I still hadn't quite forgiven her for falling asleep on me after I had went through all that trouble on trying to get that damn pizza, but of course she just had to do 'the pout' and I was like putty in her hands. Ugh, why does she have to be the only woman with this much power over me? Because you got her pregnant dipshit! She would kick your ass quite easily if you didn't let her have some control over you.

School had been alright the last couple of day's though. Bella had been moved into every single one of my classes, apart from Gym. Not that either of us were complaining. Mike Newton had kept his distance, probably scared in case he would end up like Tanya. I know that if I was bitch slapped by a girl my ego would go way down. Actually, maybe it wouldn't be a bad thing if Bella got a hold of him. I know for a fact that it would make great entertainment...for me at least.

The day was just coming to an end, thank fuck, and Bella and I...along with everyone else, were heading back to my place to watch some movies and binge on junk food. Perfect way to spend your Friday night. Don't you think? I walked outside towards the car, Bella clutching onto my hand as we met up with everyone in the parking lot. I almost took a fit when I saw Rosalie sitting on the hood of my car. I know. The Volvo isn't the best car around. But that is my baby she's sitting on!

"Emmett." I began as we got closer "Please get your girlfriend off my car."

Rolling her eyes, Rosalie hopped off herself, much to my liking.

"So." She began "What movies for tonight?"

"Point Break!" Emmett, Jasper and I yelled, causing Rosalie, Alice and Bella to groan.

"How come every time we have a movie night we are subjected to watch that stupid movie?" Bella asked, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Because of it's awesomeness!" Jasper replied as if it was plainly obvious.

"Some how I don't see the big deal in Keanu Reeves firing his gun up in the air and screaming like an idiot." Alice said in a matter-of-fact tone "Now can we get going before it rains!?"

We all went our seperate way's, getting into our cars just as the heavens opened. We all decided to skip the diner that day, stopping at a store for some food and drinks then heading straight to my place. Bella sat staring out the window, her head resting on the cold glass as we passed tree after tree. Ever since we found out about the baby she had been exhausted. Not that that bothered me. No more midnight wake-up calls. Once Emmett and Jasper found out about that little incident they couldn't stop laughing...but Emmett said something that really disturbed me. That Pizza actually sounds quite good. Ugh.

We came to a stop outside my house, Emmett's large jeep taking up most of the driveway. Quickly, we gathered all of the food and ran into the house, Bella collapsing onto the sofa when we were safely inside.

"Do we have to watch a stupid action movie?" Rosalie whined as she went into the kitchen to get some bowls and glasses "I mean, we could watch a nice romantic comedy. I know for a fact that Emmett loves them."

Jasper and I turned to face our friend with a smirk, who was currently blushing more than Bella.

"Sh-she's lying." He defended himself quickly "I hate those movies...Ugh" He gave a nervous chuckle before blushing some more "...Please don't tell anyone."

We just laughed, taking a seat next to him as Bella reluctantly put in the DVD.

"I wouldn't be embarrassed Emmett." Bella began "Edward loves 'Dream Girls'."

"No..." I corrected "Edward loves Beyoncé. The way she can shake her ass is pure and utter talent."

At this I got a glare from Bella and a slap up the back of the head from Alice. Hey, she's small, but seriously her slaps hurt! Deciding that I best shut up for the good of my health, I sat back on the sofa, Bella coming to sit next to me. We sat and watched the first half of the movie, _relatively _happy. Rosalie whining every now and then that it was boring, but we had learned to block her out a long time ago. It was just about finished when I heard the front door open, Carlisle walking in dripping wet.

"Hi kids." He greeted us with a smile "How was school?"

"Hey Mr. C!" Emmett exclaimed "School's school. What you gonna do about it?"

Carlisle chuckled a little, dumping his bag by the door and taking off his jacket. Now any other day, I would expect my Dad to head into the kitchen and then upstairs...but today was different. Instead he began to linger, rocking on the balls of his feet with a...creepy smile.

"Is there something you want Dad?" I asked, trying my best not to sound rude.

"Actually..." He began, heading over to his bag to pull out a thick brown envelope "I got you and Bella something from the hospital today."

"Ooh I love presents!" Bella said with a smile, getting up as Carlisle handed her the envelope.

We all sat in confusion as Bella opened the 'present' from Carlisle, only to be even more confused when we saw that it was a video tape...And then it hit me. _Oh hell no!_That's all that was running through my head. Carlisle had always threatened to do this to me, but never in a million years did I actually think he was serious! And the fact that he was doing this in front of my friends just made it even worse!

"Uh..." Bella began, looking down at the tape "Gee Carlisle...I don't know what to say...thanks?"

I watched as Carlisle chuckled, taking the tape from Bella and sticking it into the video player, much to mine, Emmett and Jasper's disappointment. We wanted to finish watching 'Point Break'...plus I _really _didn't want to be subjected to this. I thought my Dad was supposed to protect me from things like this!

"Right..." He began "When Edward turned 16, I told him that if he ever got a girl pregnant then I would show him something so disturbing and frightening that it may actually give him nightmares..."

"Here it comes..." I mumbled, closing my eyes and letting my head fall back on the couch.

"So..." My so called 'father' carried on "Today when I was at the hospital I was talking to a woman who gave birth to a little boy a few days ago."

At this, Bella, Alice and Rose all cooed.

"Anyway, I told her about the situation that Bella and Edward had gotten themselves into and my plan if it ever happen. She agreed, and thought that showing you a birthing tape would open your eyes a little, so she gave me a copy of her son being born for the two of you to watch."

And there it is. Ladies and Gentlemen, my father has completely lost it. I mean who in their right minds would actually willingly watch a birthing ta-

"Oh wow!" Bella exclaimed "Stick it in!"

SAY WHAT!

"Huh!?" I said wide eyed, snapping round to face her "Are you serious!? You _want _to watch a woman blow a baby hippo out her ass!?"

"EDWARD!" My father and the girls snap.

"Child birth is a beautiful natural thing." Rosalie stated with a smile, which soon turned into a scowl "So can you please be a _little _more considerate!?"

I didn't even get another word in before Bella grabbed the remote and pressed 'PLAY'.  
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_**Bella's POV**_

Personally, I actually thought Carlisle's 'plan' was a good idea. It would give us some insight as to what child birth would be like. Nothing like what 'Hollywood' make it into. There would be no perfect hair in the end. No amazing figures straight afterwards. This was real life, and I was _definitely _for watching it. I stole a quick glance at Edward as the tape began to play. He looked oddly pale, fear and...well more fear in his eyes. I don't know why though. He's not the one that's going to be having a human come out of him. His parts done! I would have to be the one to endure all the pain in the end.

"Uh...Bells..." He began as Carlisle left the room, heading upstairs to let us all watch the movie in peace "D-don't you think that maybe we should watch this later...you know, once the guys have left?"

"Hell no!" Alice answered for me "We want to see this."

I watched as she got comfy in her seat, Rosalie too. The only people who weren't too thrilled were Edward, Jasper and Emmett. They actually looked quite frightened about what they were going to see. Aww...poor babies. Grow up! Settling into the couch, I stole one last glance at my boyfriend, who gulped and tried to look anywhere but the TV. Oh for the love of...How bad can it be!? My gaze turned towards the TV, where I saw a very sweaty pregnant woman trying her best to smile. See, it wasn't so bad...until she let out a scream so loud I think I went partly deaf.

_"Push now!" _I heard come from the TV _"Push!"_

There was more screaming as we got a shot of something I really wish I didn't have to see. Oh my gosh! I was going to have to go through that! That wasn't a baby that wasn't coming out of her! It was a frickin' 5 year old! Ugh, I hate Edward!

_"Push again!" _I heard that damn doctor say loudly.

_"Get it out!" _The mother screamed.

I turned to look at the expressions on everyones faces. Alice was covering her mouth in shock. Rosalie had her eyes closed. Emmett was clutching his knees to his chest, rocking back and forth mumbling _'Grandma...Grandma...Grandma...' _over and over again, and Jasper...Well let's just say that Alice's new handbag is now destroyed if you know what I mean. I don't think it came with puke. Turning I looked at Edward, who looked as if he was about to faint. He was pale white. Paler than usual. His eyes wide and his mouth in a 'oh' shape. I was actually pretty sure that he had stopped breathing.

_"Aaghh!" _Came the loud cry from the mother.

_"It's almost there!" _I swear, this doctor was acting as if everything was great! I hope he gets hit by a truck _"One more push. Give me a big push!"_

I watched as the woman began to push some more. Her face was going red, and you could see a vein sticking out of her forehead...But then the sound of a baby crying could be heard as the woman's head fell back. She was breathing heavily, her natural colour coming back.

"Is it over yet?" Rosalie asked, her eyes still closed.

"...Yeah..." I breathed out, nodding slightly "That has got to be one of the most disturbing things I have ever seen."

"Beautiful natural thing my ass!" Edward spoke "I swear she nearly ripped in half."

"I feel sorry for you Bella." I heard Emmett say, and for the first time since I've known him he wasn't smiling "You're going to have to do that in 7 months!"

"Not helping Emmett!" Alice said through gritted teeth.

"Oh my gosh!" I said in a panic "That's going to be me! Ugh, what if something goes wrong!? What if I give birth to a toddler. Edward, you're going straight to hell do you know that!"

We continued to sit in silence for a few minutes, every single one of us wide eyed as Carlisle walked back into the room with a smug smile. Bastard.

"So kids." He began, claping his hands together "What did you think?"

"I think..." Alice began, never blinking "I think I'm going to get a sex change. No babies."

"I think I'm becoming a lesbian." Rosalie said in the same state "No men to get me pregnant."

"I think I'm screwed." I finished.

All Carlisle could do was laugh a little, taking out the video and popping it back into the envelope.

"Seriously Mr. C!" I heard Jasper bellow "That is _way _passed the line of Child Abuse. You know the 'Hostel' films?"

"Yeah..." Carlisle answered a little confused.

"Well send Eli Roth that video" He carried on "They'll have a new torture device for the next movie."

"Aw c'mon guys!" Carlisle said with a smile "It can't have been that bad."

At this Edward looked up at his Dad with wide eyes, breathing deeply.

"You don't know." He said seriously "You weren't there."

Carlisle was just about to respond to his son when the phone rang. Rolling his eyes and chuckling a little he left us to carry on and sit in shock. It's times like these where all I want to do is say 'Mommy!'.  
**……………………………………………………………………………………………….**

_**Edward's POV**_

Holy mother of snot! That was...That was...disturbing on _so _many levels. No wonder women curse their husbands when their in labour! She just squeezed something the size of a watermelon out of the opening the size of a lemon! How the hell is that natural! And to think, I'm the cause of Bella going to have to go through this. Oh man, I'm the worst Boyfriend/Best friend in history. Knowing me and my luck we'll be like that woman on the news and have 8 kids! I turned to look at Bella after my 'father' left to answer the phone. She looked scared to say the least. I guess I'll be sleeping on the sofa tonight.

"Oh..." She whined, turning to look at me "I don't wanna do this any more! Can you do it for me?"

I rolled my eyes a little. That mental image is more disturbing than the tape. Ugh, I hate Carlisle right now. Seriously. He can go jump off a cliff. Or better yet, sit and watch thousands of birthing tapes and not flinch. We sat like that for a while, but soon we had managed to form enough coherent sentences to actually have a proper conversation. It wasn't until Carlisle walked back in with a worried expression did we shut up.

"You OK Dad?" I asked as he gave a fake nervous smile.

"Uh...Yeah son." He replied "That was you're Grandmother on the phone."

"Mom's Mom or yours?" I asked, panicked a little.

"My Mom."

Damn. It's not that I don't love my Grandmother, it's just she is so overbearingly annoying that every time I talk to her I want to kill myself. That phone call could not have gone well.

"W-what did she want?" I asked, praying that I didn't know the answer.

"Uh...she said that she's coming to visit in 2 days time." My Dad informed, looking just as thrilled as me "Your Grandpa too...andyourcousins."

He coughed after saying the last part, hoing that I didn't catch onto what he was saying.

"WHAT!?" I cried "Did you say they're bringing my cousins!? James and Lily!"

Carlisle just gave a quick nod and a nervous smile. Ugh, this isn't good. Let me fill you guys in. James Cullen is probably on of the most arrogant people I know. He's stupid, mean but knows how to piss you off. Try Mike Newton, crossed over with Jamie Stevens and Simon Cowell. That's my cousin. It was no secret that we didn't get on. In fact, I couldn't stand him. We had been competing at everything ever since we were little kids. From height to how many girlfriends we had had. I must admit though, I was beating him in the latter part.

To make matters worse though, he didn't care to much for Bella. In fact, the two couldn't stand each other. I can only imagine what she's thinking at this present moment. As for Lily, she wasn't too bad. She was only four, unlike James who was 18, and was actually a little sweetheart. She adored Bella and was constantly trying to get her to go to 'tea parties' with her. Lily was actually the only cousin I could stand.

"James is coming." I groaned, flopping back onto the couch "This is just great."

"You...You're going to have to share a room with him Edward." My Dad began "We won't have the room for everyone because he's bringing his friend Laurent and girlfriend Victoria as well."

"What!?" I bellowed "Dad! I can't. Bella stays here half the week...and we wouldn't want a repeat of last year. You remember what happened to James don't you."

At this, we all turned to face Bella who was blushing as memories from the previous year came flooding back.

"C'mon." She said "I didn't kick him _that _hard."

"He had to have a testical retrieval operation!" I exclaimed, trying hard not to laugh. Hey. It _was_ hilarious.

"Bella can still stay." Carlisle said, interrupting me "We'll just advise James to wear a cup this time."

I heard Jasper and Emmett try and stifle a laugh.

"This is so unfair!" I cried "No. I am not sharing a room with him! No way, no how!"  
**……………………………………………………………………………………………….**

_**Bella's POV**_

Emmett, Jasper, Alice and Rosalie decided it was best to leave once Edward began to fight with Carlisle. I must admit. I wasn't too eager to see James again. Stupid dick that he is. Seriously. Humanity would be a lot better off if he went 'missing'. I'm pretty sure Jacob could 'take care' of him and make it look like an accident. After listening to Edward and Carlisle argue for 10 minutes, I started feeling a little hungry. Getting up, I walked into the kitchen, only to see Esme packing away groceries. I didn't even hear her come in.

"Hi honey." She greeted me with a smile "What are they arguing about in there?"

"Oh, Carlisle informed us that James is coming to stay and that he has to share a room with him." I replied "I decided it would be best to get out of there when Edward began to act like he had tourettes syndrome."

"Oh no." Esme began "What did he say?"

"Well...I'm not much of a swearer." I said "But I'll change each swear word a little... It sorta went like this...He's a _ditty _cousin and a _ducking dastard _and there is no _ducking _way that I'm sharing my _Ducking _room with him. Because if I do he'll be well and truly _Ducked._"

"_Duck _me." Esme mumbled, causing me to chuckle a little "Well I can tell you one thing. That boy does _not_ get his language skills from me."

"It's a teenage boy thing." I informed "It'll pass...hopefully. If he doesn't stop I can only imagine what our kid's first words are going to be."

Esme laughed as she put the last tin of food in the cupboards, just as Edward walked in, looking incredibly pissed off if I might add. No guess who one that argument. I tried to hold back a smirk as my boyfriend collapsed into one of the kitchen chairs like a five year old, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Argument not go well?" I asked.

"No!" He spat "All I'm saying is that James better have a _very _good cup...cause you won't be the _only_ one kicking him in his most precious area if he pisses us off."  
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**A/N: OMG guys! You have no idea how long it took me to write this. I switched ideas about 5 times and then decided that my first idea was probably the best lol. So sorry for the delay. Hopefully it won't happen again. I just can't stop writing this fic. I think I'll be really upset when it comes to an end, but don't worry. It still has a **_**long**_**way to go :o)**

**Please R&R and tell me what you think. I'm actually quite pleased with this chapter and I hope you all like it too :o)**

**Also, I made my very first Edward/Bella video on YouTube. If you want to check it out the link is on my profile :o)**

**Thanks **


	20. I Am So

**A/N: Thanks for all those great reviews guys. I'm so glad that you liked the last chapter. James and Lily! OMG I didn't even notice that! lol. That, ladies and gentlemen is what you call being a right idiot. lol. I haven't read Harry Potter in ages so I'm sorry about that. I thought it would be too weird making Victoria the four year old cousin when she was James' mate in the movie. lol.**

**Hope you enjoy this chapter, which I think may be a little on the long side. It's mainly a filler :o)**

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_**Bella's POV**_

A day had passed since the birthing tape, and the horrible news that James was arriving. Tomorrow of all days! Ugh. I hate him. I hate him, I hate him I HATE HIM! Why couldn't Edward's grandparents bring their dog instead. I sighed a little, banishing James from my thoughts as I felt Edward crawl into bed next to me. Ah, I'm feeling better already. He lay back against the pillows with a sour expression. Ok, obviously he isn't _quite _over the news either. Hmm...maybe I can change that.

"Stupid James." Edward muttered as I grabbed his arm and wrapped it around myself "Stupid Carlisle! Why couldn't he have just said _'No Mom, you can't come over!'_?"

I smirked a little as he began to rant. I wasn't happy about the whole situation. Actually I was far from happy, but seeing Edward getting all worked up was a little funny. I rested my head on his bare chest as he continued to bitch about his cousin, but pretty soon it became a little unbearable. Lifting my head I began to kiss his chest softly. If I was going to try and forget James' arrival tomorrow, I was damned if Edward was going to keep reminding me!

"Hmm..." I mumbled with a hint of laughter, looking up from his chest "Why don't we stop thinking about James and start thinking about...something else?"

I smiled once more, moving my lips back to his chest. I felt him take a deep breath, happy that he had finally taken the hint and shut up...although that happiness was short lived when he continued on his rant again.

"I mean, why the hell would James want to come again!?" He began "I'll tell you why! To annoy the living shit out of me!"

I rolled my eyes in annoyance, getting up and straddling him. Shut up, shut up, SHUT UP! But he didn't he just continued to talk about James. Talk about his cousin while I was sitting on top of him kissing him. Seriously, what's with men. I mean, I knew Edward was oblivious to almost everything, but I'm pretty sure he would have noticed me by now. Hmm...maybe this will work. Sitting up, I peeled off my over sized t-shirt, leaving me straddling my boyfriend wearing nothing but my boy shorts and skimpy bra. Not something I would usually do, but desperate times call for desperate measures.

"Edward." I said, taking hold of his chin and forcing him to look at me "How often, do you find me sitting on you in the middle of the night wearing nothing but my underwear?"

"N-not often..." He answered, looking at me properly for the first time.

"Exactly." I said "And how often do you think this will happen in the future if you carry on talking about your cousin."

"...Never?" He asked after a short pause.

"Oh,You're good." I answered before smiling, leaning down a little "Now...Lets forget about James..."

My smile grew when he smiled back, his hands making their way to my hips.

"So..." He trailed off, sitting up so I was in his lap as he began to kiss my neck "What do you have in mind exactly?"

Now it was my turn to piss him off, something I was oh so good at. Sitting back a little, I stretched and faked a yawn before climbing off his lap.

"Actually..." I said, climbing under the covers "I'm kinda tired. See you in the morning. Goodnight."

I gave him a small kiss before turning on my side and closing my eyes. Now he was too confused to even think about James. My work is done.  
**………………………………………………………………………………………………. **

_**Edward's POV**_

Ok...did I miss something here? Weren't we just about to have sex? There she was, sitting on me half naked, me kissing her neck and now...Now she's under the covers fast asleep. Did I do something? I bet she's pissed about James. I know I am. I haven't shut up about his arrival since watching that...tape. I can't help but shudder at the memory. And to think in 7 months time I'm going to have to witness it again, only this time it will not be on a TV screen but right before my eyes. Damn, I really wish I didn't have a weak stomach. The whole time watching that tape I was thinking _'How could __**that **__come out of...eww...__**that**__?'_. Seriously, the laws of physics are beyond me.

Lying back in bed after giving a small glance to Bella, who as out cold, my mind began to wander back to James and my Grandparents. Shit! What was I going to tell them? That I had gotten my girlfriend pregnant? That I had gotten her pregnant while I was out of my face and was still JUST her best friend. My Gran hit's people for this type of stuff. And what would James say!? Just another thing to bug the hell out of me. I could just keep it secret...but a pregnancy could be a little hard to hide round here, seeing as everyone is incapable of knowing when to shut up. Me being the worst mind you, I'd probably go to say 'Hi Gran' and end up saying 'You remember Bella don't you. Good, we're having a bastard child together'. Then she'd hit me for using a swear word which she would think was being used out of context. Lovely woman, don't you think? To make matters worse, Bella is still having those weird crazy cravings, not that I expect them to stop any time soon, but the other day I walk into the kitchen and find her eating a can of tuna with strawberry ice cream. I mean, who does that!?

After going through the whole situation in my head for about ten minutes, I decided that my best option would be for us to _try _and keep it quiet for as long as possible. You never know...maybe it'll all work out and I can tell my Gran in about...5 years time. Too soon?

I woke up early the next morning to hear the sound of my Dad running around downstairs, knocking things over in a panic only to have my Mom yell _'Watch what you're doing! You'd think this woman was the spawn of Satan'_. Oh but she was Mom. I swear when I was about four I saw the horns and pitchfork come out. Deciding that it was only a matter of time before I was hauled out of bed to get ready for the (probably deadly) reunion, I got up and began to shower, leaving Bella to sleep a little while longer. The baby really was taking a lot out of her.

Once showered and dressed I made my way downstairs into the living room, to find my Mom standing in front of my Dad who was currently breathing into a paper bag.

"The man just doesn't know when to calm down." She said as my Dad continued to breath into the bag.

As you might have guessed, my Dad is a little...I'd say intimidated by my Gran, but that would be the understatement of the millennium. Scared shitless is probably closer to what he feels. Rolling my eyes, I came round to stand next to my Mom, just in time to see my Dad's eyes go wide as he almost inhaled the bag.

"You're not wearing that!" He bellowed, looking me up and down.

"What's wrong with what I'm wearing?" I asked, looking down at my t-shirt.

"Not a lot." My Dad tried to say calmly, before screaming the last part "Only the fact that it says '_I gave up drinking, smoking and sex. It was the worst 15 minutes of my life!'_. Go change now!"

Rolling my eyes once more, I decided it was best not to argue. He's just lucky I didn't wear the one that said _'Pea-nis'_.

It was about an hour and a half later when I heard the loud engine from the car pull up outside. I was redressed, Bella was up and looking amazing as usual, and Carlisle had gotten so worked up that my Mom had to give him a Valium. It seemed to be working. I sighed in annoyance when I heard the car doors slam shut, knowing that in a matter of about 30 seconds I would be face to face with James. The fact that I'm adopted sort of explained a lot, because there was no way that I could possibly be related to him. I wrapped my arm around Bella, not really sure if it was for her own good, or for James' safety. But pretty soon I began to panic. They were getting closer to the door, the sound of my Gran complaining about the flowers outside was proof.

"Now don't mention the baby!" Carlisle whispered "She'll kill you."

Thanks Dad! You know, I would have thought that after having me for 16 years he would have learned by now that I alway do the opposite of what I'm told. Edward, don't talk back to your teachers. What do I do, talk back and end up with detention. Edward don't touch the car. Again, I do the exact opposite, steal it and crash into a tree. Edward don't stick scissors into the plug sockets. ZAP! In hospital for shocking myself. You know, people say that I go looking for trouble, I beg to differ. I maintain that trouble is stalking me and is just looking for an opportunity to sneak up and bite me on the ass. I felt the nerves begin to build up as I heard a loud chap on the front door. Groaning, my Dad went and answered it, only for my Gran to burst in, hitting Dad with the door.

"Mom..." Carlisle groaned, as she handed him her oversized suitcase.

How long was she staying!

"Where is everyone?" She barked with a sour expression, marching into the living room.

I watched as Everyone followed her. My Grandpa Jim, who was actually I very nice guy, carrying even more cases. He was either drunk or drugged when he married Gran. There was no way that he had actually willingly proposed. Then there was Lily, who looked as cute as ever. Her blonde hair was tied up into a messy pony tail as she ran into the room with her large teddy, immediately wrapping her arms around Bella for a hug. And then there was...James with his friend Laurent and girlfriend Victoria. Where the hell did he pick this one up? She looked like a cast member of 'Cats'. I glared at James as he gave me a snide smirk. Ugh, go do something useful and get hit by a bus.

"Edward, tuck in your shirt!" My gran boomed, bringing me out of my daze "Who's this?"

She pointed to Bella. This was another thing which annoyed me. No matter how many times I had introduced Bella to my Grandmother in the past, she always seemed to 'forget' about her. But when my dear old Gran asked about the beauty at my side, those dreaded nerves got worse.

"This is Bella." I said quickly "You remember. You met her last year...and the year before that. She lives next door, is 2 months pregnant, my best friend and is the cheif of police's daughter."

Ah shit. Do you think she noticed my little slip up within all that pointless crap.

"Pregnant!?"

Obviously she did. I looked at Bella, then my parents and then my Gran. Bella looked back in anger, my parents in shock and my Gran in both. We're off to a great start aren't we.

"Coffee anyone?" Esme said, breaking the silence.  
**………………………………………………………………………………………………. **

_**Bella's POV**_

That dickweed! Ugh! Now I have to face the wrath of 'PMS Granny'. Does he register anything that his parents tell him or does it go in one ear and out the other? My attention snapped from Edward to his Grandmother, who was currently staring me down. Now the question is, do I say the father is Edward or not. She would try and kill him if I did, and if I didn't...well that would just me being nice. I guess I'll take the 'nice' option just now, but when we're alone I am going to be having some serious words with him.

"Are you the father?" I heard James ask with a scoff of disbelief while pointing to Edward.

"No." I cut in "I was pregnant when we got together."

Oh he owes me big time for this.

"Then who _is _the father?" His nosey Grandmother asked.

"Jasper Hale."

"Emmett McCarty" Edward and I said in unison.

We looked between each other a little nervously.

"Uh..." Edward began "She doesn't really know yet."

Oh holy shit! Stop _trying _to help Edward! You're making things even worse. I closed my eyes in embarrassment. How could I love an idiot like him? Seriously, do _I _have something wrong with me? Edward's Grandmother just continued to stand there, stuttering like a fool.

"Terrible..." She finally spat, walking past me and further into the house, Edward's Grandfather and parents following her "Teenagers these days. Wasn't like that back in my day."

Yeah!? Well back in your day dinosaurs still roamed the earth and fire was yet to be invented you old hag! I glared at my boyfriend when all the adults (and Lily) had left the room. I crossed my arms over my chest, anger boiling up inside as he gave me that nervous sheepish laugh. When it came down to me and his Grandmother, I didn't know who Edward was more frightened of. I was just about to give him a piece of my mind when one of the most annoying voices invaded my delicate ears. Yep, you got it right. James.

"Well, well, well." He began with a smirk, an arm wrapped round his girlfriend "Bella and Edward. Together. Never did I think I would see the day."

His voice was dripping with sarcasm, and all I wanted to do was kick him again, but this time so hard that people may actually get him confused with a girl in the end. Edward must have been reading my thoughts though, because the next thing he said didn't only cause me to laugh, but the long haired blonde boy to turn beet red.

"So James..." Edward began "How did the operation go for you? Gran said you were walking with a limp for a little while and that you nearly lost your left nut sack. I hope my little Bella didn't cause _too _much damage. Heaven forbid that you never get to reproduce one day."

The sarcasm in Edward's voice matched James' perfectly, wiping the smirk off of his face. Ha! Take that you greasy haired idiot! I smiled up at my boyfriend, the anger I held for him just minutes ago slowly fading away...until later that is.

"I'd watch it if I were you _Eddie_!" James sneered, using the nick name he had branded Edward with when they were children "After all, I am staying here for the next two weeks. We wouldn't want anything bad happening now would we?"

Oh my gosh, this guy has way too much free time. Why the hell is he talking like he's a gangster? Ugh, James really does confuse me sometimes.

"Whatever." Edward mumbled, looking away from his cousin briefly when he saw Lily run back into the room.

"Edward!" She squealed happily, running into his arms as he picked her up easily "Your Mommy said that you've to take me to the shops! She wants Bella to get to know Granny!"

NO!!! I am _way _better with kids than Edward!

"She also said that James and Laurent have to go with you." Lily informed.

"What about me?" I heard Victoria snap, causing the little girl to jump.

"Auntie Esme wants to get to know you. Duh!" Lily said before turning back to my boyfriend "So, can we go now!"

He chuckled a little before placing her down. She really was sweet, and Edward did love her to bits. Maybe he wasn't so bad with kids, but I still wasn't thrilled about spending the afternoon with 'PMS Granny'.  
**………………………………………………………………………………………………. **

_**Edward's POV**_

He's here for 2 minutes, and already I'm asked to go to the shops with him. OK, so I'm asked to take Lily, but James and his weird looking friend have to tag along. I was just thankful that Emmett and Jasper phoned up and decided to come too. At least I wouldn't be alone through this torture. I sat at the wheel of the car, heading to Port Angeles, looking out the window glumly. James sat next to me, looking at my car in disgust while Emmett, Jasper and laurent sat in the back, Lily on Emmett's knee while the two sang 'Witch Doctor' at the top of their lungs. It got quite annoying after a while.

"Ugh, Edward." Jmaes scoffed, still scoping the car "How can you drive this peice of trash? The inside is absoloutly revolting."

"Then why don't you get out, stand in front of it and wait till I run you over?" I suggested, sounding a little hopeful "That way you can tell me if the outside looks any better."

Jasper stifled a laugh at this as Emmett and Lily continued to sing.

"You couldn't run me over Eddie boy." James smirked.

"Wanna bet?" I mumbled "Look, why the fuck did you come anyway?"

"Oooh!" I heard Lily chant from the back "You said the 'F' word. You're in trouble!"

Great. She sings all the way from the house without stopping, but the minute that I curse, her little sing song is over.

"Sorry Lily." I said, looking at her through the rear view mirror before turning back to James "But seriously, James...why do you keep coming back?"

"Why we're family my dear cousin." James began "Plus, it is the highlight of my year making your life a living hell. I'm guessing that this year will be no exception. Do you remember those little prank wars we used to have, and how I beat you every time. Ah...If we were to have one again I would almost certainly win."

"No way in hell would you win!" I exclaimed "Starting from now, we are in a prank war. Winner will be declared at midnight tonight."

"Fine..." James smiled "Now Edward, would you please let me drive the rest of the way?"

"No way." I scoffed

"Then would you?" He asked.

Confused, I saw him pointing out the window. Snapping round to face where I was going, I realised hat I had driven straight onto the other lane. Shit that was the second time in the past few months. Remember the last. I was trying to ask Bella out. Ah, good times. My eyes went wide as I quickly swerved. James just loved seeing me get like this. Bastard.

When we finally came to a stop I was first out the car. I began to walk down the street, everyone soon catching up with me when we came to a stop outside a cafe. Maybe something to eat would calm me down a bit. We walked into the busy shop, finding a booth near the back were we sat down, James and I glaring at each other the whole time.

"What can I get you guys?" I friendly looking waitress came up, a pen and pad in hand.

Emmett was first to order, the Jasper, Laurent, James and myself. It wasn't till I turned to get Lily's order did my eyes go wide. She wasn't there!

"Where's Lily!?" I cried, looking round the whole booth and under the table.

Everyone began to look round in search for the four year old, but she was nowhere to be seen.

"Nice job Eddie." James sneered "Five minutes out the car and she's lost!"

He got up from the table, Laurent following as My head fell onto the table with a thud.

"I. Am. So. Fucked."  
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**A/N: So what did you think? I know not really funny, but hopefully you got a few giggles out of this. If I kept going, the whole of the next chapter would be here too, and then it would be **_**very **_**long. lol. Please R&R. Don't worry, this isn't suddenly turning into a drama. I just thought a little drama would make things more fun. lol. **


	21. Close To Killing Myself!

**A/N: Lol. Thanks guys for all those great reviews. I'm so glad you liked the last chapter, and that you found it funny. I was a bit scared in case you wouldn't. lol. I just can't believe how popular this story is. To think I almost never posted it. lol. I'm glad I did though, cause you guys have really made me feel more confident about my work. Thanks so much! This chapter is dedicated to all of you! Enjoy :o)**

**I know I didn't have James question Emmett and Jasper in the last chapter, that's because it's going to be in this chapter. I wanted to go into it a little :o)  
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_**Bella's POV**_

Thump...thump...thump...Seriously, that's all you can hear in the kitchen as I repeatedly banged my head off of the breakfast bar, Edward's psycho Granny talking...well, more like snapping at Esme while they stood over the stove making lunch, Granny deciding it would be fun to snap at me too every so often. Bitch. Sighing, I lifted my head off of the table and glared at the old bat. How could someone as nice as Carlisle be the spawn of The Wicked Bitch of the West? Ugh, it's beyond me.

"You girl!" She barked, never looking away from the veg that she was cutting "Don't think just because you're pregnant you can't help out. Get chopping."

"Sure." I said, hoisting the fake bazooka over my shoulder and firing my imaginary bomb at the woman. Ugh, where's a hit man when you need one?

I went to stand next to Esme, shooting her a look that said I was beginning to get _very _pissed off with her mother-in-law. You could just never be too careful. With my track record, the knife will probably 'accidently' slip and stab the old reptile in the back...although, I'm not too sure if that would be a bad thing or not.

"So..." The little woman began "How far along are you Bella?"

Wow! She actually managed to say my name. That must be progress. Since her arrival all she had managed to call me was 'Girl', 'You' or 'Samantha'. Yeah, I don't know where she got that from either.

"I'm two months..." I said quietly, looking past Esme.

"And are you keeping the child?" Ugh, why does she need to make every question sound like an interrogation?

"Yeah." I answered with a smile "Edward and I are going to raise the baby. We just don't know where yet. We were talking about getting a place of our own a while back."

"Well, you know you're welcome to stay here as long as you like Bella." Esme said with a friendly smile.

"I don't know why my Grandson is going to be looking after your little brat in the end." PMS Granny announced "You, young lady should have kept your legs closed in the beginning. Now look at you, wondering who the father is!"

I know who the damn father is! But I can tell you guys one thing, there is a _very _high chance that the baby won't know who he is, because after I'm finished with Edward people are going to have to send out a search party. Ugh, I wonder if he's having a better time with James than I am with his Grandmother?  
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_**Edward's POV**_

"LILY" I bellowed, the faint voices of Emmet, Jasper and Laurent could be heard down the other end of the street "You know, you could help." I spat at James, who was walking next to me without a care in the world "I mean she _is _your sister."

"I'm busy thinking about something." He said with a smirk, dazing off into space "Maybe you shouldn't have lost her in the first place."

"Well watch you don't hurt yourself." I said with, rolling my eyes slightly as I ignored his last comment "What the hell are you thinking about anyway? Where your little sister could be?"

"Actually, more like what I can do to you during our prank war."

"You seriously need to get a life." I muttered, turning round a corner.

Lily was nowhere to be seen. I ran my hands through my hair, looking up and down the busy street in hopes of catching a glimpse of her shiny blonde hair. But nothing. I groaned in frustration as James leaned against a wall, smirking as Emmett, Jasper and Laurent ran back up to us. Like me, they had no luck finding her. What the hell am I supposed to do!? I mean I can't really go into a store and buy a new Lily. This isn't anything like that stupid egg project that we had to endure. I felt the nerves in my stomach begin to pick up once more. What would my Grandmother say to this? Sorry, what would _Bella _say to this. Now I don't think I'll ever be allowed to watch our kid alone...or with friends for that matter. Ugh. Why couldn't it have been James who got lost. Lost right over a clif that is. At least I could bear Lily. She gets too annoying and you can distract her with a toy or some candy. Whereas if James gets too annoying (Like now for example) you just want to beat him over the head with a bat...repeatedly.

"What the fuck am I supposed to do now!?" I bellowed, turning to face my friends, my hands flying in the air "I'm pretty sure they would notice if I left with Lily and came back without her."

"Ok..." Laurent began, speaking for the first time since his arrival "She's four years old, she couldn't have gotten that far."

We went silent for a minute, each one of us thinking on where Lily could be...well, all of us apart from James, who was currently checking out his appearance in a shop window. The guy might as well just come with a mirror.

"This is just great." I said, laughing slightly because it was the only thing I could do without causing pain and/or damage "Dad is going to kill me, and he won't do it with mercy!"

Sighing, I sat down on the sidewalk, watching as cars passed, looking up and down the streets in hopes of seeing my little cousin.

"You know what..." James began, causing me to turn round "I'm trying to figure it out."

"Yeah, we're all trying to figure out where she could be." Jasper replied, a little less than friendly.

"Not about Lily." James smirked "I'm trying to figure out which one of you are the father to Bella's baby."

Ah crap. Simultaneously, Jasper and Emmett turned to face each other and then to me, giving me a small glare in the process. I gave a nervous smile before they turned back to face James, who was still wearing that smirk, his arms crossed over his chest.

"Edward told me that Bella wasn't quite sure who the father was out of the two of you..." James turned to face me "Doesn't it bother you that your girlfriend banged both of your best friends before hooking up with you?"

I didn't answer, all I did was glance back at Jasper and Emmett. It was a matter of seconds before they had both grabbed an arm, lifting me off of the street into a standing position.

"Would you excuse me for one second James?" I asked, glancing at my less than happy friends "We..uh, we need to have a little talk."

We didn't wait for James' answer, and before I knew it, Emmett and Jasper had led me round the side of a building and pushed me up against a wall. You know, if we hadn't of been friends for years, I would seriously be shitting bricks right about now.

"Care to explain!?" Emmett asked in shock "Why does he think that we got with Bells. Sorry dude, but that would be like banging your sister."

"Well I kinda blurted out to my Grandma that she was pregnant." I began, looking between the two apologetically "Bella decided to cover for me and say that I wasn't the father, but when my Gran asked who was, both of us said one of you guys at the same time. I didn't help matters when I told her that Bella wasn't actually sure. So as of now, both of you are '_Possible_-fathers-to-be'. See, not that complicated."

I tried my best to form a proper smile as my friends stared back at me in silence.

"Dude." Jasper began after a few seconds "You are _deeply _buts. D'you know that?"

"I've heard it...once or twice..." I said sheepishly "But that doesn't matter, will you help me out with this, and in finding Lily."

They both heaved a sigh before nodding in agreement. I swear, I could have kissed them right then and there. Now all I had to worry about was finding Lily...and then something dawned on me. My jaw practically fell to the floor as I ran back round the corner, Laurent wandering around looking for my cousin as James rested against the wall. No wonder he had been acting so calm! The dick knew where she was!

"You know where she is!" I bellowed "Don't you!? This is part of our prank war!"

"Do you really think I would stoop that low?" He scoffed "Aw, c'mon Eddie. I'm so much more creative than that."

"No!" I barked "You do know where she is! That's why you're not helping! You want to see me get all worked up so you can win! Well let me tell ya something _pal_! It ain't gonna work!"

"Did you hit your head Eddie?" He sneered "I have no clue as to where she is. Usually I would be lying about this, but I'm serious."

Ugh! This guy is so annoying! Seriously, I'm ready for jumping in front of the next passing bus if he doesn't start helping in some way! I just cried in frustration, running my hands through my hair as I fought back every urge to not just punch him then and there.

"OK!" I said loudly "Emmett. You, Laurent and James go that way." I said, pointing down one end of the street "Jasper and I will go this way. If you find Lily, call me. We'll do the same. If we haven't found her in the next hour, we'll all meet back up at the car and call the cops."

Nodding, Emmett began to lead the way down the street, Laurent and a very reluctant James following behind him. I was just thankful that I got away from the greasy blonde ass for a while. Glancing at Jasper, I sighed once more before we began heading in the opposite direction. I wonder if Bella was having fun with my Gran. She couldn't have been having a worse time than me. That's for sure.

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_**Bella's POV**_

Anyone got a rope? Rope...Anyone...No? Damn. All I want to do is hang myself right now. Lunch had been a disaster, not that I expected it to go well at all. Granny had decided that it would be fun for me to get to know Victoria a little, but her idea of fun was to constantly put me down in front of everyone, comparing me to the firey haired skank. Ugh, when do they leave!? By the time lunch had finished, I was feeling really sick, and all I wanted to do was lie down and sleep for a few hours in hopes that Edward would be back soon. He had been gone for a good few hours. I wonder what was keeping him so long.

Sighing, I walked into Edward's room, James' bags littering the floor. I couldn't help but glare at them, seriously tempted to throw them out the window, but I was too exahusted to even attempt to lift them. Closing my eyes, I collapsed onto the oversized bed, sleep willing to take over at any second...that was until I heard the bedroom door open and someone creep in. Victoria. Without a word of warning, she bounced over to the bed, falling onto it beside me. Uh...why can't she just go away!

Groaning, I sat up and looked at her. We weren't really getting along. At the dinner table during lunch, we had done nothing but act like five year olds. Glaring at each other, kicking each other under the table...Don't ask me why we were acting like this to each other. Hell, we didn't even know each other. I guess it just sorta came naturally. Like Edward's hate for James...or Emmett's love for food.

"What?" I asked, no mood for chit chat "Come here to piss me off?"

"Wow..." She said with a smile "You're like a psychic or something."

I rolled my eyes, praying that she would just go away, but obviously that didn't happen. I wonder what she wanted?

"So..." She began, sitting up fully "Who is it?"

"Who's what?" I asked, sounding rather annoyed.

"Who's the father?" She asked, basically whispering "I mean...you must have some idea. Emmett...Jasper...or maybe you're just trying to protect that stunning boyfriend of yours and deny it's his...Or maybe...the baby doesn't belong to any of them."

An idea popped into my head at those words. I couldn't help but smile a little. I know what I was about to do was a little mean, and I did care...hell, who am I fooling? I didn't care at all. Time to test out my acting chops.

"Oh Victoria, it's true!" I fake sobbed, covering my face with my hands as my tears spilled over "Not one of them is the father. I just can't bare to tell Edward the truth!"

I sobbed some more, stealing a glance of the red head out of the corner of my eye. She looked slightly confused, and a little scared by my sudden outburst. It took everything in me not to burst out laughing then and there. Her face was a picture.

"Uh...There there." She said, patting my back nervously "...You can...tell me."

I looked up, wiping my tears and trying to regain control over my breathing. I could see that she was already uncomfortable. Perfect.

"It's...James..." I whispered, leaning in a little "He did this to me. A couple of months ago, he came to Forks to see everyone and we sorta...got close. I just didn't want to say anything in front of the guys. It would hurt their feelings. Plus you were there..." I smiled a little "But it's so good to have it out in the open now. I know I can trust you."

Man, am I good! I smiled back at the cat like girl, who was currently glaring. Ha! I knew it would work.

"That sneaky, slimy son of a bitch!" She bellowed "You!? And him!? I knew something he had been with someone else! He went on a trip a while back and wouldn't mention anything about it! Oh I'm _so_ outta here!"

I watched as she got up off the bed, storming towards the door. Now that was just sheer and utter luck that James had actually gone on a trip round about the time Edward and I...well...you know.

"No way in hell am I staying here with _him_."

And with that, Victoria marched right out the room, slamming the door behind her. I couldn't help but get up and do a little victory dance. One down, five to go...although I would like to keep Lily. Cutie that she is.

It was about 45 minutes later when I saw the taxi pull up outside the house, Victoria handing her luggage to the driver as she got into the cab. I laughed as She hung out the window, screaming at PMS Granny that she never wanted to see her grandson again and that she hoped he died a slow and painful death. Wow, I really _was_ good.

"That wasn't nice Bella." I heard a familiar voice say from the door way of the bedroom.

Turning round I saw Esme. She walked in towards me, but didn't look angry or upset. She actually looked...impressed. She came to a stop next to me, looking out the window as the taxi drove off, PMS Granny standing outside looking very angry.

"The day isn't even over and you've managed to make one of them leave." She carried on before leaning in and whispering "I'll give you fifty bucks if you get rid of the rest."

"Esme, for you...priceless." I smirked "All I need is someone stupid enough to help."

"Edward." We both said in unison before laughing.

"Where is that boy anyway?" Esme asked "I thought he would have been home by now."

"He'll be alright." I said "I mean, what do you think has happened? He's lost Lily."

We both burst out laughing. Yeah. Edward could be careless...but not that careless...I think.  
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_**Edward's POV**_

She was nowhere to be seen! It was official. I had lost her. I began to get more and more panicked with every second that passed. I had checked everywhere...and I mean everywhere. Stores...public toilets...more stores. I actually saw a blonde girl run into the female changing rooms in a clothing store at one point. I followed, only to be throwen out by a woman that made Emmett look tiny. I know, scary. I didn't know it was possible either. I was also attacked by about 50 handbags that came flying in my direction. Never in all my life have I heard the word 'pervert' been screamed so much.

The hour passed by slowly, and with no sign of Lily anywhere, we made our way back to the car. I was so dead. My father was definitely going to kill me...or at least hurt me a little. Losing my four year old cousin was definitely not on my 'to do' list today. Jasper and I met back up with the other three as we approached the car. They looked just as glum as I felt...well, Laurent and Emmett did. James just had a smug grin on his face.

"You are so gonna get it when we get back." He said in a proud voice, crossing his arms over his chest "I can only imagine what Gran will do to you."

My anger boiled over, and before I knew it I was charging towards James, only to be stopped by Jasper who had grabbed me by the back of the shirt and yanked me back, James keeping that sneer on his face the whole time. Asshole. His sister was missing and he was acting as if everything was perfect! I wonder if he was dropped on his head as a child. It would explain a lot.

"You know what James!" I yelled "You can go to H-..."

But I was cut off when I heard a soft knock. Where the hell had that come from? I wasn't the only one that heard the knock though. Everyone was looking around a little puzzled, and that's when I heard it again. I turned round to look at the car...and that's when I saw her. Lily, knocking against the window from the inside.

"Lily!" I bellowed, opening the car to have the four year old glare at me.

"You guys left me!" She cried, crossing her arms over her chest "I've been in here forever!"

Holy mother of snot! How in the hell could we have left her in a car! She had been with Emmett the whole time. Emmett. Standing up straight, I turned to look at my friend, who was backing up nervously chuckling a little.

"He he...oops." He said. All I could do was glare a little "Edward, man I'm sorry. Jasper and Laurent jumped out the car, I sat her down on the seat to take off my belt...I guess I forgot to pick her back up again. But look on the bright side! At least she's safe!"

"Just you wait until Granny finds out!" Lily said, standing up on the seat of my car "She's going to be mad."

"I'll give you 10 bucks not to say anything Lily!" I said, practically groveling to a four year old.

"Hmm..." She said, putting a finger on her chin "Make it a hundred and you've got a deal."

Sighing I nodded and handed my little cousin a handful of cash. Wow. For a four year old...she learns fast.

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**A/N: So what did you think? More to come soon. Two words. PRANK WAR!!!!! Anyone excited? lol. Please R&R and tell me what you all think. Thanks muchly :o)**


	22. Prank War: Part One!

**A/N: Thanks guys for all those A-M-A-Z-I-N-G reviews. I loved reading them. Yeah the prank war is maybe a little immature and kiddish, but that's what makes it fun. Right? lol. I'm the person who is constantly pulling pranks on people. lol. Hope you all enjoy this chapter.**

**I had an idea for another fic, but it won't be up for a while. I've posted a video on YouTube and it's kinda like a trailer/opening theme to the fic. Please check it out and tell me what you think. It's based on the best TV show ever. SKINS! Woo-hoo!**

**Sorry, I'm a little sleep deprived and I sorta go nuts when I'm like that. lol.**

**I also want to give a special thanks to **_ba2006 _**for your kind reviews and words of encouragement. Thanks very much ;o)**

**This chapter is going to be very long, but I think you'll all like it :o)**

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_**Edward's POV**_

Bella is by far the best girlfriend, best friend and best person that has ever lived! Not only has she managed to get rid of Victoria the cat woman, but I am currently standing in my living room watching James get yelled at by my Gran. And it's all because of Bella! I have no idea what she did, but whatever it is, I am _loving _it. Never in my 18 years of living have I seen something quite so beautiful. James getting whacked with my Grandmothers handbag. I shall never forget this moment for as long as I live! Most fathers will tell there kids how they met their mother, or when they knew they were in love. But not me. Nope. _This_ was the story I was going to tell. Smiling, I wrapped my arm round Bella, pulling her in closer to lean down and whisper in her ear.

"I don't know what you've done, but I love you!" I whispered, kissing her once on the neck and again on her cheek.

She chuckled slightly, looking up at me and giving me a small wink. I couldn't help but smile even more. We stood like that, watching James getting yelled at like it was a new episode of 'The Simpsons', Emmett and Jasper coming to stand next to us.

"Dude..." Emmett began, looking down at Bella "What did you do! Seriously, she looks like she's about to castrate him!"

Bella giggled at this, crossing her arms over her chest before turning to face the scene in front of her once more.

"Just watch boys." She smirked.

The three of us turned to see my Gran grab James by the ear, pulling him in closer to her. I couldn't help but wince a little. According to Gran I was the 'bad' cousin, and was constantly getting my ear pulled. I would like to sympathise with James here, but he's just too much of an asshole for me to actually care.

"I just can't believe this!" Gran bawled "I never would have thought it James! You were always such a good boy!"

"What are you talking about Gran?" James asked, trying to sound like the little old lady wasn't causing him pain

Hmph...Hope she rips your frickin' ear _off _buddy.

"You know fine well what I'm talking about!" She bellowed, causing even Emmett to jump.

Oh this was getting good.

"You!" She began, pointing at James "Got her!" She carried on, moving onto Bella "Pregnant!"

"WHAT!?" James, Emmet, Jasper and I all yelled.

As if rehearsed, we all turned to look at Bella, who still stood with her arms crossed over her chest. Only this time the sly smile that had graced her face was replaced by a very sheepish very _nervous _smirk.

"Uhh...ok..." She began, backing up a little "Not really the reaction I was going for."

James got her pregnant!? That was the _magical wonderful _story that she had come up with to get rid of Victoria! Couldn't she have just said that James had some rare incurable disease!? That he liked to kick puppies. He had syphilis. Any of the following would have been better that what she actually said. This could only lead to trouble...for me. Bella gave each of us a nervous look, begging me to help her out a little. But what the hell could I do!? Ugh...looked like I was going to have to do something that I was quite bad at...tell the truth.

Sighing, I take a step forward, every ones gaze turning from Bella to me. My Dad knew straight away what was about to happen, the worry that flashed across his face was plainly clear. Taking a deep breath, I looked at my feet. I don't know if I could handle watching my Gran's head spin round when I told her the truth.

"As much as I _love _seeing James get this sort of abuse..." I began "He's right. He's not the father. In fact, there is no way in hell that he could actually _be _the father. He's never slept with Bella..." I turned to face Jasper and Emmett, who were urging me to continue "And neither have those two..._I'm _the baby's father."

"Oh dear lord." Carlisle whined, his hand flying to his forehead.

"I fucking knew it!" James yelled, earning him a slap up the back of the head from my Gran.

I couldn't help but grimace as my gaze finally fell upon my Gran. Thankfully her head wasn't doing the whole 'Exorcist' thing, but her eyes were twitching like crazy making her look like she was taking a seizure. Maybe she was, I don't know, but what I do know is that any second now I am going to be in pain in some form. Be it physical contact or screaming in the ear, I knew my fate. But I felt nothing surprisingly. I mean, James got the whole ear pulling thing, and he was the 'Good Cousin'. What the hell was in store for me? I shuddered to think. Instead, all my Gran did was go pale white and drop into a spare seat.

"I need a drink." She mumbled.  
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_**Bella's POV**_

I've probably said it before, and knowing me I'll probably say it again, but that was _the_ single most embarrassing moment of my life. I am hanging out with Edward _way_too much. Who knew that talking without thinking was contagious. I just hope it isn't genetic either. If so, then I best dig my child an early grave now. Granny took the news better than expected. I don't know why Carlisle was so reluctant on her knowing the truth. Probably scared in case she had a heart attack due to shock and Edward would be blamed for her death. All she did was have a few glasses of scotch before expressing her disappointment in him. Deep down she probably wasn't surprised. She didn't care too much for her grandson at all, whereas James was the damn golden child in her opinion.

But just when one stressful thing is put behind you, a whole new one comes to surface. Edward and James were having that stupid Prank War. Ugh...I remember their prank wars from the past. Half of the stuff they did to each other (In my opinion) didn't even classify as pranks. Like the time James gave Edward's bed away to a couple of homeless guys...the greasy haired blonde did not expect my boyfriend to cut the roof off of his car using a stihil chainsaw. Edward isn't allowed to use or go near the power tools anymore. Then there was another time when James decided to play Frisbee with all of Edward's CD's, and Edward (being the mature adult that he is) tied James to the roof of his car and drove through the streets like a mad man...I don't know why cars are always involved in Edward's 'pranks'. The only reason that I found out about that little incident was because Charlie was the cop that ended up pulling him over and dragging his sorry ass home...Didn't stop my Dad from taking a laughing fit when he got home. Apparently the look on James' face was 'pricless'. My Dad isn't really a big fan of James either.

Edward and I sat outside on the porch steps, my head resting against his knee's as the muffled voices of his parents and Grandparents could be heard. I wish they would just go home already. Sighing a little, I closed my eyes, the front door opening as Emmett and Jasper walked out. By the sounds of things, they weren't enjoying themselves all that much either.

"Dude..." Jasper exclaimed, taking a seat next to Edward on the steps "Your Gran makes Satan look friendly sometimes. Seriously, she's in there right now telling your parents that they haven't done a very good job raising you. Your Dad looks like he's about to have a nervous breakdown!"

"What does that say about her though?" Emmett smirked "I mean, she _is _Carlisle's mother. That means she did a shit job raising her son."

We chuckled a little, sitting back and trying to relax.

"Dude, I'm counting the day's till they leave." Edward sighed "I don't know how much longer I can take of this...plus, I have absolutely _no _knew ideas for the prank war. I can't be losing my touch. This is something that I need to pass down to my kid."

"I swear Edward..." I began "If you teach our child how to operate a power tool, I will kill you."

"Operate a power tool _badly_..." Jasper corrected me, smirking a little before giving me a thumbs up.

"Tell you what." I said, turning to face my boyfriend "Why don't we phone up Alice and Rose and the six of us drive to Port Angeles and go shopping for the baby. Get your mind off of everything. Sound good?"

But just as Edward was about to answer, a soft whistling could be heard from above. Looking up, all our eyes went wide.

"Oh Eddie!" We heard James call from the window above us "Look out."

And before we could blink, James tipped a large bucket of water out, soaking Edward completely.

"Prank War starts now!" And with that, the blonde boy who I hated so much disappeared back in the window.

"Get my keys." Edward grumbled, getting up and stalking towards the car, a trail of water following.

Once calling Alice and Rose, and letting Edward dry off a little, the six of us made our way to Port Angeles, Alice a little over excited about shopping. She loved shopping as it was...but shopping for a baby and it was like Christmas for her. Edward had lightened up a lot by the time we had come to a stop, joking around and laughing with Emmett and Jasper about ways that they could _legally _torture James. Some of his ideas actually sounded quite funny. We walked down the street, each one of us hand-in-hand with our other half as we headed for the nearest baby store, but Edward stopped when we passed an antique store.

"Do you mind if we go in here a sec?" He said with a smile "I want to check something out."

"Sure." I didn't know Edward was into antiques.

Walking into the quiet shop, Alice, Rose and I couldn't help but gasp at all the stuff we saw. It was like my idea of heaven. Alice wandered off to look at the old jewelry, Rosalie following. I on the other hand made my way over to a table that held many different books. This place was awesome.

"Dude!" I heard Jasper exclaim next to me "Check this mother out!"

Looking to my left, I saw what the boys were fawning over. A cannon. Uh, boys and there toys. I smiled a little, rolling my eyes before turning my attention back to the book I was currently looking at.

"May I help you boys?" A friendly little lady, who must have been in her mid fifties asked.

"Yeah..." Edward began, what can you tell us about this bad boy." He asked, slapping the iron.

"Oh this." She smiled "This cannon dates back to as far as 1860. It was found in one of the most bizarre places imaginable. The woods! Right now it values at around $5000."

"Wow..." Emmett muttered "That's a lot."

"Mm-hmm..." Edward said, nodding slightly "And tell me, will it decrease in value if I were to use it?"

Ok, time to go I think. I don't even want to know what he'll use a cannon for. I can only imagine it for his prank war however.  
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_**Edward's POV**_

Once our shopping spree in Port Angeles had come to an end, I drove us back home, many bags of 'unisex clothes' and an un-built crib stuffed into the trunk. Once dropping Alice and Rose off home, Jasper and Emmett helped me unload everything, carrying it upstairs and dumping it in my room. It wasn't until we came back downstairs that we began to feel that something was off. James was nowhere to be seen, and that always meant bad news. I watched as Bella lay on the sofa, flicking on the TV and browsing through the music channels. She was exhausted after out little trip, so it was probably best if Emmett, Jasper and I went in search for James.

"Emmet, you check upstairs, Jasper you check down and I'll check in the garden." I began "If no one can find him, then we have a problem."

Yeah. During prank wars, I tend to get a _little _bit paranoid, but after what James did to my CD collection you can't really blame me. We all set off in our separate directions, Bella keeping her place on the sofa as she slowly began to doze off. It was beginning to get dark as I walked into the garden, the rain beginning to get heavy. Ugh. Sometimes living in Forks can be a pain in the ass. I continued to walk down to the bottom of the garden, stopping when I reached the large tree that took up most of the room. Hmm. No sign of James anywhere. I don't know whether that's a good thing or a bad thing.

"James!" I called out "You out here?"

But I received no reply. Smiling a little at the fact that he wasn't out here destroying something of mine, I looked up at the sky, the clouds becoming darker and darker. No doubt that we were in for a thunder storm. Great. That would just be the cherry on top of a _fantastic _day. But it wasn't until I looked up into the dark sky did I see the one person that was making me wonder if life in prison for murder would be so bad. James. Sitting in the tree with a sly smirk on his face. This could only mean something bad. For me that is. He held up the end of a rope, my eyes going wide when I realized what was about to happen, but before I could do anything to prevent my fate James gave me a small wave before jumping from the branch.

Well, the next thing I knew I was hanging upside down in mid air, James tying the rope he had been holding tightly around the tree trunk. I looked to my feet, the other end of the rope tied tightly around my ankles. How the hell could he tie knots like that! Ugh! I knew I should have paid more attention in scouts! Maybe I would have been the one tying him to a tree upside down!

"2-0 Eddie boy!" James exclaimed as I looked at him upside down "See you later!"

Turning round, James began to walk back to the house.

"What!" I yelled "So you're just going to leave me here!?"

"Pretty much, yeah." James nodded "Catch you around."

I groaned.

"This could not get any worse." I muttered to myself.

But of course, when those six little words are uttered, what happens? A crap situation soon turns to hell on earth. As if on cue the sky flashed with lightening, a loud rumble of thunder following after as the rain began to fall in buckets. Yeah. Not any worse my ass.  
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_**Bella's POV**_

I jumped when the loud thunder filled the house. Uh...I hate thunder storms. Where's Edward when I need him? Sitting up on the sofa, I pulled my knee's to my chest, a wave of nausea hitting. Great. More morning sickness. Running my hand through my hair, I was just about to get up when James walked in, smirking a little. What the in hell has he done now may I ask?

"Why hello Bella." He said, way too overly happy.

Did he get hit on the head...hard...

"Uh...Hi James." I began "Have you seen Edward anywhere?"

"Oh Edward?" He smirked, heading for the doorway "He's...hanging around."  
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_**Edward's POV**_

Stupid ass wipe of a cousin. Needs to get a rocket shoved up his ass and blown to Pluto. Once I had finally managed to get down from the tree, hitting my head in the process, I trudged back into the house, soaking wet yet again due to James. The way that he was heading, I would be leaving this house in handcuffs and him in a body bag. I found Bella asleep on the sofa when I got back into the house. Smiling a little, I draped a blanket over her, kissing her on the side of the head before heading upstairs to find Jasper and Emmett. Some friends. Didn't even come looking for me!

I walked into my bedroom to find Jasper flicking through the channels on my over sized TV while lounging on my bed, and Emmett swearing at his PSP before throwing it to the ground, only to pick it back up and apologize to it. The guy has issues. Closing my door, I walked over to them, giving each of my 'friends' a glare.

"Hey man." Jasper greeted, barely looking up from the TV "You're kinda wet looking."

"Dude..." Emmett "Where the hell were you?"

"Where the hell was _I_!?" I shouted "Where the hell were _you_!? I just spent the last half hour hanging upside down in mid air in the pouring rain! I thought maybe my dissapearance would have gone noticed by _someone_! I was upside down so long I swear I saw a purple and green pig doing frickin' ballet on top of the garden table!"

"Cool!" Emmett said, a large smile caressing his face.

"Uh...Emmett..." Jasper began "I uh...I don't think you're supposed to find that funny. This is Edward ranting at us."

"Oh..." Emmett said, nodding in understanding.

Ugh! I swear you need damn finger paintings to communicate with him!

"Well..." I began "While I was hanging there, I tried to think of a good prank to pull on James."

A small smile formed on my face, Jasper and Emmett immediately becoming interested.

"And what did you come up with!?" Emmett boomed, becoming very over excited "Deflating his tyres!? Switching his conditioner with hair removal cream!?"

"Even better!" I said happily "But I'm gonna need you guys to help."

"This has got trouble written all over it." Jasper mumbled, sitting up straighter "Every time you ask us to help you do something crazy, Emmett or I or BOTH end up in deep shit or hospital."

"Oh really?" I asked in slight disbelief "Then give me one example."

"Last summer." Emmett began "You found that car abandoned at the side of the road and asked me to drive it back to your place so you could take a look at it."

"What was so bad about that!?" I exclaimed

"There were illegal fireworks in the trunk!" Emmett bawled "I spent the night at the station! Charlie had to bail me out!"

I blushed a little at that. Poor Emmett had just turned 18 and that's the birthday present he gets from me.

"And what about the time you convinced me to help you up onto the roof to get your football back." Jasper stated "I fell off and was in hospital for 2 weeks...And then there's the time you were in the shed with us and you set yourself on fire. You were jumping around like crazy, knocked a bucket over and it got stuck on Emmett's head. We spent three hours in the emergency room!"

"Ok. First of all, it is not my fault that Emmett has a freakishly large head." I pointed out "And second of all, I asked for _one _example. Man, you make me sound like a bad friend."

"Not a bad friend." Jasper said with a small smile "Just a life threatening one...Now, does this plan of yours have a threat against our lives?"

"No it doesn't." I rolled my eyes, pulling out three straws from my pocket "You just cant be frightened of getting hit by cars a little and possibly going to jail."

"See, that's exactly our point Cullen!" Emmett exclaimed, worry written all over his face "Please tell me that this plan is at least _semi _normal! For once."

"Of course it is..." I replied "Well...for me anyway. Now, let's see who's going to be playing the leading role. Shortest straw is the victim, I mean winner."

I smiled, holding the straws out before me, Emmett and Jasper reluctantly taking one. But soon there frowns became smiles as they turned to look at me.

"Looks like your the victim Edward." Jasper smiled.

"Jasper." Emmett smirked "You mean winner."

They both began to laugh as I looked at the smallest straw that lay in my hand. Why am I so unlucky?  
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**A/N: So what did you think? I'm going to have to put the Prank War into two different chapters, because this is probably about half way, and I doubt that you guys would like reading all that in the one sitting. This is the longest chapter I have ever written. But I hope you enjoyed it, and the next chapter will be up very soon. I've already started it, and it'll be easier since I know what's going to happen. **

**I know there wasn't really a whole lot going on in this chapter. I was running a bit low on ideas. It's funny. When I go to do a prank it just comes to me, but when I actually have to think of one it's hard. lol. But I'm all sorted for the next chapter. Jackass and Viva La Bam helped me out lol. Please review and tell me what you think, and remember to watch my video for the fic I'm thinking on writing.**

**Take care :o)**

**Lets see if we can get any closer to the 1000 review mark :o)**

**If I get over the 1000 review mark, the 1000th review will have the next chapter dedicated to them :o)**


	23. Prank War: Part Two!

**A/N: Ahhhhh! I got over a thousand reviews! OMG thank you thank THANK YOU! I'm so glad you liked the last chapter. ou have no idea what all those reviews mean to me. I got quite a few comments in the last chapter about there not being a lot of Edward/Bella fluff lately, and I agree. I just wanted to show a side that isn't all romance, but the fluff will start again soon. I don't feel I'm very good at writing it, lol. It always comes out a little cheesy.**

**This chapter is for **_twihard-fanpire _**for being my thousandth reviewer! Thank you!**

**Lots of Edward in this one :o)**

**So sorry about the delay. It would have been up earlier but I have been physically and mentally exhausted. Plus I've been working, so life has been a little hectic. You'll understand if this chapter is not the greatest. lol.**

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_**Bella's POV**_

I woke the next morning to the sound of loud snoring...James. Glancing down at the floor, I saw the greasy haired blonde asleep in his sleeping bag, his mouth wide open with drool at the corner of his lips. His arms were stretched out over the top of his head, making him look like he was attempting some ballet moves while giving us all a flash of his tuffed out pit hair. Gross. I know. Not a great thing to see when my barf reflexes are already heightened these days. Glancing over at the clock, I saw that it was 7am, an inhumanly hour to get up in my opinion. I couldn't even remember getting up from the sofa last night and going to bed, but the arms that were wrapped tightly around my waist were an indication that Edward had carried me. Aw. Isn't he the sweetest. Smiling, I turned round to face him, surprised to see that he was wide awake, giving me that adorable crooked smile. I don't think I've ever seen a day where Edward is up before me! New record!

"Hmm..." I sighed, enjoying the warmth of his embrace "Hey. What you doing up so early?"

"Hi to you too..." He greeted, giving me a deep kiss before pulling back and resting his forehead against mine "I was woken up from the snores coming from the constipated walrus there."

I had to chuckle at this. How Edward came up with these names in a matter of seconds was beyond me. Reaching up, I brushed some of his hair from his face, leaning up to kiss him again. Now, I don't know if it's my hormones or the fact that I haven't had some quality _alone _time with Edward the past few days, but all I really wanted to do was stay wrapped up in his arms as he kissed every inch of me. I know a lot of girls probably felt the same about my boyfriend. I continued to kiss him, tightening my grip round his neck. But he pulled away.

"I really don't think we should be getting this...comfy with James in the same room. Don't you?" He asked "I mean, that would be wrong on so many levels. Getting it on with someone else in the room."

"Ugh!" I groaned "I hate this. All I want is to be alone with you for a while. I hardly saw you yesterday. You sorta disappeared. Where were you anyway?"

"Nowhere." He answered, blushing slightly "Just...hanging out."

"Funny." I mumbled "James said the same thing."

But I didn't want to think about James at all right now. All I wanted to think about was Edward. Edward and I...alone..together...NOW! But of course we couldn't be alone with dickweed sleeping on the floor...but soon an idea popped into my head. Something that was _kinda _innocent and let Edward and I have our alone time together.

"Hmm..." I said, kissing him once more "I'm going to go for a nice relaxing bubble bath...care to join me?"

His eyes were wide, excitement dancing in them.

"Well..." He began "I really have to think about thi- Yes!"

I chukled a little, quietly climbing out of bed and dragging him along.  
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_**Edward's POV**_

Wow! All I can say is I think I'm going to wake up a lot earlier in the future. What a way to stat your day! Sitting in a bath with your girlfriend resting against your chest. I love baths now! I smiled, my arms wrapped tightly round Bella, her arms covering mine. Leaning down, I kissed her neck, enjoying our alone time very much indeed! She sighed in content, resting her head against my chest and closing her eyes. All the blinds had been drawn and Bella had lit some candles which created a nice soft orange glow.

"I could so get used to this." I smiled, shifting a little further down "Can we do this again!? Huh!? Can we, can we, can we!?"

Bella chuckled, opening her eyes and looking over her shoulder at me. Leaning up she kissed me before settling back down into our embrace.

"You know, back when we were kids you never got this excited to take a bath." Bella smirked.

"True." I agreed "But back when we were kids, I never got to bath with a beautiful hot naked lady."

Bella laughed again, playfully slapping my arm before closing her eyes once again and heaving another soft sigh. Yep. Could _definitely _get used to this. We continued to sit there for about ten minutes, talking and kissing every once in a while. Relaxing was something that neither of us had really been able to do the last couple of day's, so we were basking in every second...that was until _someone _decided to batter on the door and _demand _that whoever was in to move their ass! Three guesses as to who it could be. Yep. Dear old Granny. And if I wasn't in her good books just now, then she'd probably disown me if I opened the door to reveal both Bella and myself...although...I don't know if that would be a bad thing.

"Shit!" Bella cursed quietly, getting out the bath and wrapping a towel round herself "Uh...just a second!"

"Open this door girl!" I heard the muffled voice of my Gran "I don't have a bladder that can hold the QE II!"

Eww. I really don't need to know about my Grandmother's bathroom needs.

"Edward get out of here." Bella whispered as I got dressed back into my boxers in a hurry, ending with them inside out _and _back to front.

"What do you expect me to do!?" I asked "Climb out the window and down the drain!?"

Little did I know that she would take me seriously, because the next thing I knew Bella was pushing my out the window and closing it behind me. Shakily, I began to climb down the drain, matters made much worse due to the fact that it was pouring it down and I was freezing my ass off. Man, climbing down the side of your house is so much easier when you're wearing clothes...And never in all my life did I ever expect to say that sentence. All I can say is, I'm thankful that James can't see this.

Once safely on the ground, I quickly ran round to the front of the house, slipping on the grass as I went. I ran up the front steps, but stopped when I felt a pair of eyes watching me. Turning, I saw Charlie standing perfectly still on his porch with a cup of coffee close to his mouth as he stared at me as if I had grown two heads. He had one eyebrow cocked, shaking his head slightly as if to say I was deeply nuts. Hmph. Like I've never heard _that _before.

"Uh..." I began, giving a nervous laugh and slight wave "H-Hey Mr. S."

"If the reason that you're outside in the rain half naked involves my daughter, I don't wanna hear it." He replied, sipping his coffee.

Good. Cause I don't want to tell. Grabbing the emergency key from under the 'welcome' mat, I quickly entered my house and padded upstairs to my room. Maybe it wasn't such a great way to start the day after all.  
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_**Bella's POV**_

The rest of the morning went by as normal. Edward and I decided just to keep our mouths shut, and came to the agreement that baths together could happen in the future...Just not when Granny is about. Seriously! I'm starting to feel that maybe she was placed on this earth _just _to piss people off...Or maybe just Edward and I. I swear, I could have happily beat her to death with a rolling pin this morning. After lunch had come and gone, Emmett and Jasper came over, along with Rosalie and Alice. I was hoping to spend some time with them all today, just like we used to before I got pregnant, but for some reason Edward dragged Emmett and Jasper upstairs and shut his bedroom door, banishing us girls from coming up. Don't worry, I'm not letting myself jump to any conclusions...yet.

The boys must have been upstairs for about an hour when Rose, Alice and I decided that we were too bored to stay in the house. We were just lounging about in the living room flicking through the music channels when James entered. He smirked at my friends, looking Rose up and down before doing the same to Alice. Ugh...I'd rather see them with Mike Newton before him! I found it quite strange that James could act as if he hated them one minute, but still made it plainly obvious that he lusted after them.

"Good afternoon ladies..." He said, taking a seat next to Rosalie while squeezing in between her and myself "What are you up to just now?"

"Thinking of ways to cause you a severe amount of pain." Alice smiled innocently, resting her chin in her hand "My mind is just _buzzing_ with idea's!"

I held back a smirk, Rose doing the same as Alice began to look off dreamily. Giving a nervous smile, James turned his attention back to Rose, playing with a strand of her hair before tucking it behind her ear. Like I said earlier. My barf reflexes are heightened. Seeing that could not have been good for my health...Or Rose's for that matter.

"What about you and me go and spend some...quality time together..." James stated in a husky whisper.

"You know what..." Rose smiled, giving her own husky whisper "That was actually on my list of 'things to do' today...yeah...along with getting my teeth pulled and gouging my eyes out with spoons. That should be fun!"

"Oooh..." James said, sitting back a little "Touchy today aren't we..."

We were all thankful when he stood up to leave, but soon curiosity began to take over when Alice joined him. Rose and I looked up at her in wonder as she approached the slim ball, placing her small hands on his broad shoulders. Did she just practically give him a death threat a couple of minutes ago? Yeah, I'm confused too.

"James..." She began seriously "I see what all this is. The flirting...the hatred towards your cousin and Bella, and I just want you to know...you're not alone. We're here for you...You don't need to hide behind that mask anymore."

What the hell is she doing? James was obviously asking himself the same thing, giving my pixie friend a very odd look as she continued.

"It's nothing to be ashamed about." She carried on "Being gay and in love with your cousin can be _very_ hard."

"WHAT!?" James exclaimed, sounding like a dog with a whistle down it's throat "What the hell are you on about!?"

"But flirting with Rose and I won't get rid of your feelings for him." Alice stated, still with her serious exterior as Rose and I tried to hold back our fits of laughter "And your dislike for Bella...James, it's not her fault that Edward would rather be with her than you. But please don't worry James...I'm here for you, and together we can get you through this tough patch...just, give me a hug."

We almost lost it when Alice pulled James in for a hug. Oh my gosh. The look on his face was priceless. The minute that Alice let him go he was out of there.

"Oh my gosh Alice..." Rosalie laughed "That. Was. Brilliant!"

I was laughing too, finding it extremely hard to control myself. How could she come up with stuff like that on the spot, and how could she keep a straight face!?

"Yeah..." I chimed in "That was hilarious...but now what are we going to do for fun?"

We watched, calming down as Alice began to smirk. Ugh...that face could only mean one thing.

"Let's go shopping!" She exclaimed happily.

There it is. The dreaded 'S' word. I'm making it my personal mission to hammer it into my child's head that the word 'shopping' is forbidden, and in my opinion shall be treated like a swear word.

"Alice..." I moaned "We went shopping yesterday...Remember? Edward wanted to buy that canon."

"Of course I do..." She smiled "But yesterday, everything we bought wasn't on James..."

Rose and I watched as our friend pulled James' wallet out of her pocket, waving it in front of us like a trophy. So _that's _why she hugged him. She stole his wallet! Opening it up she pulled out a load of bills and some cards.

"Should we use cash or Visa ?"

Oh my gosh! Thank you James! I love my random pixie friend!  
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_**Edward's POV**_

"So you guys know the plan?" I asked, pacing round the room, grabbing my stored bottles of spray paint and some flashlights.

"Of course we know the frickin' plan!" Jasper sighed "We've went over it seven times!"

"I'm just making sure." I said, zipping up my large duffel bag. "Tonight gentlemen we take control...no longer will we let 'the blonde one' rule...no longer will we let 'the blonde one' have control...tonight gentlemen...is our night for victory."

I looked over at Jasper and Emmett, who were both looking at me as if I had lost the plot.

"You're watching _way _to much TV." Emmett stated, shaking his head little.

Rolling my eyes, I climbed off of my computer chair that I had made my way onto during my speech. I was way too excited about my prank for James, which was a little strange seeing as I was the guy who had a higher chance ending up in hospital when James finds out what I'm about to do. Hey. If you were about to post a massive billboard up over the freeway of your cousin, stating that he was a gay single dude looking for some fun _and _happen to throw his phone number up there too...you'd be a little worried about how many broken bones you would walk away with. But I'm trying to remain positive. Broken bones can heal quicker that shattered egos.

I know what you're thinking. How in the hell are they supposed to get a billboard poster on such short notice. The truth is, Jasper's Dad actually makes the posters. He managed to pull a few strings and got it made for us, although he was slightly concerned about what we were doing. We told him the truth...sorta. Just that James ran over a little girls dog and refused to apologize or get her a new one. This was pay back. C'mon, do you really think he would help if we told him the _whole _truth?

Looking out the window, I couldn't help but sigh when I saw that it was still light out, but that wasn't really a surprise seeing as it was only 1 in the afternoon. Deciding that we would meet back up when it was darker, Emmett and Jasper left, but not before we spent at least 2 hours playing on the PS3. Now I was bored with nothing to do. Walking downstairs into the kitchen, I perked up a little at the sight of Bella, who was surrounded by lots of shopping bags. Looks like Alice had fun today.

"Hi." I said with a smile, kissing her before taking a seat at the table "Didn't we go shopping for baby stuff yesterday?"

"Yes." Bella smirked, rummaging through one of the many bags "But James was nice enough to pay for all of this stuff today...although he doesn't know it yet."

And speak of the devil, here comes _Sir Snores A Lot _now. James walked into the kitchen, glaring at us as he began to look around for something.

"Looking for this James?" Bella asked, holding out his wallet to him.

Holy Hell, my girlfriend is a thief! A smokin' hot thief though.

"Alice, Rose and I found it when we were out shopping today." She carried on as he snatched it up "It was right next to the anal bleaching cream."

I choked back a laugh. Obviously the girls are spending _way _too much time with Emmett, Jasper and me.

"Oh funny Bella." James said, his voice dripping with sarcasm "Thank you for returning my wallet."

"You're welcome." Bella smiled "I don't know if you want the stuff that was in it."

My laughter finally escaped when she handed him the contents of his wallet.

"Yes, thank you." James barked, looking at all the bags "It looks like I've been quite charitable today."

And with that he left.

"How much did you actually spend today?" I asked, pulling some of the bags over to myself to have a little peek.

Smiling, Bella handed me a pile of receipts. I flicked through them, my eyes going wider with each little slip of paper.

"Wow." I spluttered out "That's a lot of zero's...what did you do, put a down payment on a house!?"

"No." She chuckled "Just a little...retail therapy."

**~*Twilight*~**

Bella and I sat and talked for a while, trying to enjoy some time together before I had to sneak off and...take care of some business. I thought it would probably be best not to tell her what we were up to, cause knowing Bella, when she found out she would most definitely rip off my balls and force feed them to me. I don't think that would taste too good. It must have been around seven, right after dinner when it finally started to get dark. I was out the house faster than a bullet, which was probably a good thing seeing as my Grandmother was on the war path because someone dropped her toothbrush down the toilet. Hey! It's not like I _meant _it. The toilet sorta...got in the way.

I must have broken at least 50 road rules on my way to Jasper's (not that that's unlike me), I'm just surprised that I wasn't pulled over. The minute I got there, I practically abandoned my car, running into the house without even knocking. Good thing Jasper's parent's love me. Don't think many families would take to kindly to someone just barging into their homes. I ran into Jasper's room, closing the door behind me to be greeted by him and a sick looking Emmett.

"You OK Em?" I asked, stepping back a little.

"No." He began "I feel like shit."

"Well, this should make you feel better." I smiled.

Emmett couldn't back out. He had some of the most important jobs. Look out and a get away driver if need be. Hey, it's gonna be funny as hell, but that doesn't mean it won't come with a few...glitches.

"Please tell me you can still do it tonight Emmett!" I said with worry "It won't be as good without you there."

"Fine." He mumbled "I'll do it, but if we end up in jail or if I end up dieing, I'll either trade you for some comic books or come back and haunt you."

"My Dad has loaded his van with the poster, paste and brushes." Jasper filled in "Dude...are you sure you want to do this. I mean, what ever happened to putting cling film over the toilet seat? Why are you going for public humiliation?"

"Because James always goes for public humiliation...just not _this _public." I announced "Now let's go. I've got the spray paint, flashlights and walkie talkies."

"Why do we need walkie talkies?" Emmett asked.

"Dude..." I began, like it was plainly obvious "They are awesome. That should be a good enough excuse."

Pretty soon, we were all piled into the van and on our way to plaster the poster up! Ha! James will think twice in the future before messing with us again. It wasn't long until we reached the blank billboard that sat at the side of the road. Now came the hard part...actually getting it up onto the platform which was probably about 50 feet in the air. Have I ever mentioned that I don't like heights? Shaking slightly, I climbed the ladder up to the billboard with some of the poster, Jasper close behind with more of it. Emmett stayed in the car, making sure that no police cars came. C'mon, what we're doing isn't exactly...legal.

"So how do you actually put this up?" I asked Jasper when we finished bringing up all the rolls.

"Edward!" He exclaimed "You don't know how to put it up!"

"Hey!" I cried back "I just come up with the plans. You're the brains of the group. I thought you would know!"

"Ugh..." He rolled his eyes "Well...I _think _it just goes on like wallpaper...I'm not sure. There's paste and brushes...how hard can it be?"

Boy I _really _wish he hadn't of said that. The minute we started to try and paste up the poster, everything that could have gone wrong did go wrong. The rain started, the wind got strong, but magically we managed to get half the poster up revealing James' face. I smiled as cars began to slow down below us to see what was going on. It's working! Now all I need to get up is the writing part. Working even harder as the rain got heavier, Jasper and I managed to finish putting up the poster. Smiling to each other, we stood back to admire our handy work.

_James Cullen_

_Young, single and GAY!_

_Call him on 555-3619_

"Perfect." I smirked.

"Right Edward..." Jasper began, heading down the ladders "My job's done...now we're just waiting on you..."

Ugh...I was hoping he would forget that part. Since I was the one who drew the short straw, I had to get James down here to see what we have done. Pulling out my cell phone, I texted my cousin. I sent him a message saying that there was a massive party with loads of hot girls. He should be down here in a matter of minutes. Now all we had to do was run like hell before he arrived. I was just about to climb down the ladder and meet up with the guys when the sound of Jasper's voice coming from my walkie talkie stopped me.

_"Uh...Edward..._ He began nervously _"We got a problem...our look out fell asleep and...just look down."_

This can't be good. Reluctantly, I looked over the edge of the platform to see a couple of police officers looking up at me with a smug smile, Emmett and Jasper already in handcuffs.

"Ah shit."  
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_**Bella's POV**_

It was fast approaching nine, and Edward was still nowhere to be seen. I had called round Emmett, Jasper, Rose and Alice's homes, but no one had seen him or the other two boys. Looking out the window to see the rain beating down very heavy, I began to worry. He always answers his phone. Where the hell is he!? Running my hands through my hair, I sighed and took a seat on the sofa, just as the phone rang. Oh my gosh, please be him. Quickly, I answered it.

"Hello...Edward!?" I asked frantically.

_"Uh...Hey Bells_." Came the voice that I most wanted to hear.

"Edward!" I bellowed "Where the hell are you!? I've been worried sick!"

_"Uh...can you do me a favour?" _He asked, ignoring my question _"Can you come down to the station and bail Emmett, Jazz and I out...we kinda got into some...trouble..."_

Oh he is so dead!  
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_**Edward's POV**_

I paced around the small cell that I shared with my friends, waiting for Bella to come through to get us out. She didn't sound too happy on the phone, but I guess she was allowed to be angry right now. I looked over at Emmett, who looked like he was about to pass out. Gee...the guy really _was_ sick. I thought that it was all just an act, but with him falling asleep in the car when he was supposed to be the look out...I guess it wasn't. My gaze turned to Jasper, who was sitting on the bench, clutching his knees to his chest. Jeez, the guy looks like he's about to take a fit or something.

"Oh my gosh..." He mumbled "We're in jail! Jail! Oh good lord, Alice will hate me! I'll never graduate school or get into a good college. I'll be made into someones bitch! Edward!" He cried, running up to me and grabbing the front of my shirt "Guy's like me don't do well in prison!"

"Calm down..." I said "Bella is on her way. We'll be out here within the hour with nothing more than a warning and our parents will never know."

"EDWARD!" I heard the angry voice of Bella as she stormed through the doors...with my parents, grandparents and cousins "What the hell did you do!?"

Giving a nervous smile, I backed up a little. They can't hurt me if I'm behind bars.

"Uh...H-hey everybody." I smiled

"Edward!" My mother barked looking slightly crazed "You're in so much trouble I can't even some up with a suitable punishment right now! What the hell were you thinking!"

"Look..." I said with a sigh "It was a prank gone wrong. All we were doing was trying to embarrass James a little."

"A little!" James joined in "I've got 271 new messages on my phone all because of that little poster you decided to put up!"

"Well you shouldn't have hung me upside down from a tree!" I exclaimed "Pay back's a bitch!"

We both began to argue, James coming right up to the bars on the outside while I did the same on the inside. My cell! Back off! We continued to bawl at each other but were stopped when a scream from my father could be heard. A little alarmed, we turned to look at Carlisle, who looked as if his head was about to explode. Not a good sign.

"That's it!" He snapped "I've had it up to here with all your fights with each other! We are all going on a family and friends vacation to sort this mess out!"

Vacation. Oh yeah...that's a bad punishment.

"To the cabin by the lake!" My Dad finished!

What! The cabin by the lake! That place is older than my Gran and Grandpa put together! I hate the cabin by the lake! There's no heating, no electricity. The place is a dump.

"Now when we get home we're packing our bags cause we leave first thing in the morning!" My Dad bawled before heading out.

Ugh. I think I'd rather take jail.  
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**A/N: That was horrible wasn't it? I'm so sorry. I've just been so busy and had a lot on my mind lately. I officially give you amazing readers the permission to shout at me for the delay. lol. Please R&R and tell me what you think of this chapter, even if It's not the greatest, hopefully it's still kinda good. Thank you so much, and again am extremely sorry. I hope I haven't lost any of you guys. You have no idea how much your reviews mean.**

_**Questions**_

**1. Would you like the next chapter to be JUST Edward and Bella fluff and humour, or do you want the other guys involved too?**

**the vacation to you want a slight time skip?**

**3. Should Charlie go on the vacation too?**

**P.S. 'Light In The Dark' is not forgotten, and will be updated hopefully sometime this week. Please review so I can post the next chapter to this fic soon :o)**

**Take Care :o)**


	24. Warning: Golf May Be Hazardous To Health

**A/N: Aw, thanks guys for all those amazing reviews, and your opinions. Do the questions annoy you or would you like more of them in the future?**

**Just so you know, Bella is currently 2 months along. There will be a slight time skip after the vacation which will probably be about a chapter and a half.  
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_**Bella's POV**_

To say I was pissed off would probably be the understatement of the millennium. I was furious. In fact, I was _beyond _furious! Edward frickin' Cullen. Mr. Popular. The father of my child, end's up in prison all because of a stupid Prank War! I've never been so angry in all my life, and what makes me even more mad is the fact that I want to do nothing more but kiss him for causing half of the population of Forks, Port Angeles and La Push to think that James is gay! The only other amusing thing was that Edward, Emmett and Jasper managed to sneak out, get a blank billboard and put a poster on it, embarrass James _and_ end up in jail ALL IN THE ONE NIGHT! You know, sometimes I actually hope that I'm having a girl. At least that way I wouldn't have to worry as much about her getting into this sort of crazy kind of shit. If it's a boy...well then I'm screwed. I'm pretty sure that trouble-making is genetic.

I didn't talk to Edward for the rest of the night. Instead I headed over to my house to pack my bag for this damned Vacation that Carlisle was insisting that we take because he wanted us all to 'bond' and 'get along'. To make matters worse, my Dad was also tagging along. Now don't get me wrong, I love my Dad. Unlike many other fathers, he had actually been supportive about the whole 'getting pregnant' thing, and he didn't take his shot gun to my boyfriend which was _always _a plus. It just meant that I was going to have to be extra careful that Edward and I weren't caught in a compromising position. And Edward had to be extra careful that he didn't do anything stupid...er.

I decided that spending the night at my own place alone would probably be best for everyone, and for Edward's own safety. With the mood that he had put me in, I was ready for killing him, and believe me. It would not be done quickly and painless. But I will admit, it had been the worst night I have had in a long time. Sleeping next to Edward had become a force of habit. I had to get one of his many shirts that he's left at my house, and sleep in that. I guess it helped a little.

I was dozing in and out of sleep, not knowing what time it was, but it was still dark out. I could feel sleep just about to take over, but was forced to sit up when I heard a chap at my window. Looking over at the source of the noise, I just about screamed. I swear, I got such a fright I almost delivered there and then! Edward stood hanging off of the trellis, peering into my room. He motioned for me to open up, the rain battering off his face.

I didn't think twice before opening the window, pulling him in quietly so as we wouldn't wake Charlie.

"What are you doing here!?" I asked in a harsh whisper "I'm angry at you remember!"

"I couldn't sleep." He whispered, giving me that adorable crooked grin "I need you next to me."

Aw, he's so cute...NO! Stop it Bella! He got arrested...But I've always found something extremely hot about the bad boys...STOP! Damn, I need help.

"So you just decided to waltz on over here, climb the side of my house and expect me to just let you crawl in next to me so you can sleep." I said, crossing my arms over my chest.

Damn that sounded a lot angrier in my head.

"Yup." He said, popping the 'P' "But by the looks of things...I'm not the only one struggling to sleep."

He smiled, flicking the bottom of the shirt I was wearing while cocking an eyebrow. I could feel the heat rush to my cheeks, and obviously he could see the blush when he began to chuckle a little. I couldn't help but laugh myself. How is it so hard to stay mad at him!? Most girls would have thrown their boyfriends out on their ass so quick they wouldn't even be able to blink, if any of them had done what Edward had.

"Ha!" He said, pointing "You laughed, I'm off the hook. Now scoot over."

Rolling my eyes, I shifted on the bed, pulling the covers down so Edward could slip in. We both lay down, Edward wrapping his arms around me whilst placing a kiss on my neck.

"I'm still mad at you you know." I said, failing at keeping the smile off my face.

Hell, I wasn't still mad. I was just over the moon that he was now next to me...he didn't need to know that though.

"Whatever babe." He said. I could almost hear the smirk that he was sporting

Closing my eyes, I smiled, enjoying the new found warmth. Sighing a little in content, I was about to let sleep take over me once and for all, but was again kept up by Edward. You know, if he wants to die before the sun comes up, he's going the right way about it.

"Bella." He mumbled, his velvety voice filling the room "Can I ask you something?"

"Edward." I groaned, turning to face him, stealing a glance at the clock as I did "It's 1am...can't this wait till later?"

"I wanted to ask you some things...about the baby."

I immediately sat up fully, Edward following my actions. I always made time to talk about the baby.

"What do you want to know?" I asked with a bright smile, tucking some hair behind each ear.

He was quiet for a second, and for a mad moment I actually began to panic, wondering what he was going to say.

"Do you want a boy of a girl?" He finally asked, smiling slightly.

I couldn't help but smile myself. He had excitement in his eyes.

"As long as our baby has ten fingers and ten toes, then I don't care either way." I said, crawling over to him and laying us down, wrapping his arms round me again "Tell me the truth...are you scared about becoming a Dad?"

"You going through labour..." He began "Kicking...Screaming...And possibly biting while blaming me for everything...Hell, I'd be an idiot if I _wasn't_!"

"Please..." I scoffed with a smirk "That won't happen...at least the kicking won't...my bottom half is going to be a little bit...preoccupied."

He laughed a little, kissing me as he did so. That had been the first kiss since he decided to go and get his ass arrested

"But seriously..." I continued "7 months...I mean...That's really not a long time until I deliver."

"Ugh." Edward said, screwing up his face "I hate that term...'deliver'. It makes it sound like the baby will arrive by FedEx. Can we not call it 'deliver'?"

I rolled my eyes.

"How does 'Crap it out' sound to you then?" I questioned.

"Much better." He smiled, kissing me again. "So, natural birth or drugs?"

"Either." I replied

"Carlisle as your doctor or someone else?" He asked.

"Carlisle." I stated "I want someone who I can trust."

He smiled at this before going silent again, and right away I knew he was about to discuss a serious topic.

"Cullen or Swan?" He finally asked

I could tell he was a little nervous about my answer. Our baby's surname was something I had been thinking about a lot lately, but never really discussed with Edward. I had made my mind up the second I realized about the baby. Scooting closer to him, I placed my hand on his face leaned up and kissed him. Once we broke apart, I rested my forehead against his, a smile creeping over my face.

"Cullen." I whispered to him.

I've never seen Edward smiled so much in my whole life. I loved it.  
**……………………………………………………………………………………………….**

_**Edward's POV**_

It was around 5:30 in the morning when Bella and I were woken by the sound of Charlie hammering on the door. Ugh! Stupid vacation! Does Carlisle really believe that James and I will get along, or is he using this as an excuse to cause me as much misery until my mother actually figures out a suitable punishment for my little...adventure. I thought that a 3 day getaway to a shack in the middle of nowhere and a 6 hour drive to actually _get_ there would have been punishment enough. I tried to remain positive though. Grandpa Jim had decided that the cabin probably wasn't a safe environment for Lily to be and had decided to take her home. Damn. I can't wait for my kid to arrive if we can end up using them as excuses to get out of things! My Mom was also staying behind, for reasons that are unknown to me. I think it was probably a mix between planning her punishment and stopping herself from murdering my Gran. Believe me, there are so many places that she could bury the old woman, and I doubt that anyone would miss her.

"Bella!" I heard Charlie bellow "Get up!"

"Ugh..." Bella mumbled, scooting in closer to me "Edward...can you do me a favor and tell my Dad to shut the hell up. Please."

"And get shot!" I said in shock "No. Thank. You."

She groaned, sitting up and running her hand through her hair.

"Dad." She yelled through the door "I'm going to catch a ride with Edward. You go on without me, and I'll meet you at the cabin. You could take both our bags. They're sitting on the couch."

"Edward?" He questioned, sounding a little confused "Wasn't it just last night that you screamed that you were so mad at him that you could happily shove a plunger up his ass...side ways?"

Ouch. He only said it and it still hurt. I watched as my girlfriend gave me a nervous smile.

"Uh...yeah Dad..." She said "Uh...I'll see you at the cabin, ok?"

I heard Charlie heave a sigh.

"Ok. See you later Bells...Edward..."

What!? How the hell did he know I was there.

"Uh...see you later sir." I called back as he made his way downstairs.

It was only minutes later that we heard the cruiser drive away, quickly followed by the cars that were surrounding the outside of my house. Sighing a little, Bella lay back down. The sky was beginning to light up, and the sound of birds singing outside were annoying the hell out of me. No way I was getting back to sleep now.

"So..." I began "What do you want to do now?"

I turned to look at Bella, who had a smirk playing at the corners of her lips.

"Well..." She began, kissing my chest "I think we sorta fell out. So now we need to make back up."

I could see where she was going with this.

"Make up sex is supposed to be the best." She smirked.

I couldn't help but smile. Now that's something I think I can do.

**~* Twilight *~**

It was 7:30 when Bella and I decided it was best to head out to the lake, something that both of us were _super _excited about. Can you sense the sarcasm? To make matters worse, it had actually turned out to be a rather nice day, and we were going to miss it being stuck in the car for six hours! Ugh, beats being stuck in a car with James and Granny I guess. We said goodbye to my Mom before we left, and stopped at the market to get some food and drink for the journey, cause it was gonna be _long_.

We drove in a comfortable silence for about an hour and a half, Bella munching into the large bag of Doritos that I had bought in hopes that we could share.

"We've already passed that building there." Bella mumbled, pointing out her window "Face it Edward. We're lost."

"No we're not." I said, turning once more "I know exactly where we are."

I sure hope that sounded more convincing to her than it did to me.

"Really, then where are we?" She crossed her arms over her chest. I just remained silent "HA! I knew it. We are lost!"

"Bells!" I exclaimed, holding up the map my mother had given me. "I'm following the damn map!"

"Edward!" Bella began in the same tone "You're reading that 'damn map' UPSIDE DOWN!"

"What!?" I questioned, looking at it "Shit!"

Just my luck huh? Only I could end up reading a map upside down.  
**……………………………………………………………………………………………….**

_**Bella's POV**_

8 hours, 17 wrong turns, 3 gas fill ups, 5 bathroom breaks and a break down later we _finally _arrived at the cabin. The sun was splitting the trees, not a cloud in the sky as Edward and I parked the car and headed up the creaky stairs. Each step we took sounded more unhealthy than the last.

I couldn't help but scrunch up my nose at the sight of the 'cabin'. It wasn't like anything you saw in the movies. No nice new wood. Large outstretched porches, clean windows and big lights. It was old looking, and looked very crooked and unstable. The wood was faded and cracked, and the roof was missing many tiles. Staying tin this thing for a few days has _got _to be classified as child abuse...right?

"Do you think this place is actually safe?" I asked as we stepped onto the porch, but just as the words left my mouth, I heard a large crunch behind me.

Turning round I had to suppress a giggle as I saw Edward crouched in the middle of the porch with one leg through it.

"Does that answer your question?" He asked, trying to get his leg out the new whole "Oh holy shit! Something's crawling on me! SOMETHING'S CRAWLING ON ME! Damn I hope it's not a spider."

Taking his hand and laughing a little, I helped Edward up, only to see him pat himself down, yelping a little when a spider fell from his jeans and scuttled around his feet. Faster than I could blink, Edward was standing on the table on the porch, too frightened of the eight legged creature to come down. I know, it's quite funny seeing someone like him act like this.

"Oh Edward." I smirked, rolling my eyes "It's just a little spider."

"Little _spider_!?" He bellowed "That's not a spider...it's a damn hockey puck! That's what it is!"

I laughed as Edward jumped from the table and ran straight into the house. Ugh, boys. What can you do about them? Once entering, what I would _like _to call the cabin, but is probably better described as a shack, we were immediately greeted by the guys, Alice and Rose running up to give me a hug. It felt like ages since I had spoke to them, even though we spent the day with each other yesterday...courtesy of James...Speaking of the troll, I wonder where he is?

"Where's Charlie, my Dad and the Hag?" Edward asked, dumping his bag on the floor.

"They went for a walk." Emmett filled in "But I think your Gran said something about fixing her broom and getting more 'eye of newt'?"

"As long as she's out of my sight, then we're good." Edward chuckled, but soon stopped when he noticed that everything seemed a little _too _perfect "Where's the dickwad?"

"He uh..." Jasper began, stifilg a laugh while side stepping out of the way to reveal a shattered wooden chair "Went to sit down and...had a bit of an accident." By this time the other four were snickering as well "He's gone to pick the splinters out of his ass."

We all erupted. I would have paid good money to see that. Once we calmed down, Edward began to look round the room. It wasn't much to look at. This inside was worse than the out.

"How long do you think it'll be until this place actually falls down on us?" Alice began, looking up "I'm giving it till tomorrow afternoon tops."

"Well, Edward's already put his foot through it." I mumbled with a giggle.

"Oh ha ha." He began, leaning against the open window sill "That was only a one time thi- WHOA!"

But before Edward could finish his sentance, the window sill snapped under his weight, sending Edward out the window.

"Oh my gosh!" I exclaimed as we all rushed to the remainders of the window.

Emmett's booming laughter filled the room at the sight before us, and I must admit, it was rather amusing. Edward sat in a bush, the top half of his body completely obscured, only his flying feet visible. Where's a camera when you need one. Filing outside, we soon helped the rather unlucky boy out of his little...situation. We tried to hold back our laughter as he patted himself down, his usual messy hair even worse!

"Don't. Say. A Damn. Word." He muttered.

No sir, not. Not a damn word.  
**……………………………………………………………………………………………….**

_**Edward's POV**_

"You'll never get it out of there." I muttered, pushing my sunglasses further up my nose as I watched Emmett try and swing his golf ball out from between the trees.

After my little window incident, The guys and I thought it would probably be best if we got out and about for a little while to try and avoid further danger. I was a little surprised to hear that Jasper had brought his golf clubs, but at the same time happy since it gave us something to do. We had been doing great, enjoying each others company without any signs of the adults and James, that was until Emmet shot his ball to far and ended up getting it stuck.

"Chip it out." I said, resting my club over my shoulders while I chewed some gum.

"I can do this dude." Emmett said, turning to face me "I got it."

"Dude..." I began "There is no way you'll make it, just chip it out."

"I would listen baby." Rose said from the side lines and she, the girls and Jasper watched.

"I got this!" Emmett barked.

He's a persistent ass, I'll give him that much. Rolling my eyes, I prepared myself for the failed attempt that Emmett was going to share with us as he lined up and swung back. Quickly, he brought his club down to meet the ball, and before I knew it, it had ricochet off of a tree and flew right into my...precious area. I felt the wind get knocked out of me as I let out a slight yelp, falling to the ground with my own club by my side. Oh damn that hurts. This is worse than the falling out the window and through the porch all in the one!

"Hmm..." Emmett said looking at his club in surprise "I guess I didn't have it."

YA THINK!?

Frantically, everyone made their way over to my side, Bella crouching down next to me. Now getting hit in the nuts is painful, but getting hit in the nuts at high speed is blinding.

"Edward!?" She began "Are you ok? Say something!"

I was silent for a second, my hands still covering my nether region.

"...Ow..." I squeaked out, my voice about 8 octives higher "I think...I inhaled...my gum."

Together, everyone helped me to my feet, patting me down slightly as I tried to regain feeling in my lower half.

"Are you alright Dude!?" Jasper exclaimed "You took that pretty fast!"

"Can you just hold on one second?" I asked with a forced smile, my voice still pretty high "I just have to check something."

Turning away from my friends, I pulled out the front of my pants and looked down. Yup, still there. Edward has not become Edwina, so we're fine. Turning back to my friends, still forcing that same smile, I gave them a shaky thumbs up.

"Dude." Emmett began "You're so lucky that you've already knocked Bells up, because after something like that _doubt _you'll ever be able to reproduce again!"

My eye began to twitch as my friend laughed. Hmm...I wonder if a golf _club _to the nuts is more painful than a golf _ball_. Only one way to find out. Bending down I retrieved my club, holding it both hands like I would do a baseball bat. At the sight, Emmett's laughter began to die down, everyone else taking one _large _step back.

"Oh Emmett!" I began with wide crazy eyes, a large smile splitting my face as I slowly began to walk towards him.

"N-now Edward..." He stuttered, his hands coming in front of him as he stepped back a little "W-we can talk about this. You know, like mature adults!"

I just chuckled a little, inching closer and closer.

"As friends..." Emmett said, his own voice becoming a little higher, but all I did was continue to move forward.

"Run." I simply said with the same crazed look.

Well he didn't need to be told twice.

"What happened to being 'mature adults'!?" He bellowed as he took off running, me following close behind.

"Screw being mature adults!" I cried "I'm _so _going to kill you!"

This is going to be a _long _three days.  
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**A/N: Ok, not the best, but it's alright. It's probably just a filler. There will be more E/B fluff in the next chapter, and more humour, and then after that it's time to say 'bye bye' to Granny and James. YAY! lol. Has anyone else noticed ho clumsy Edward is in this fic? I find that quite funny. lol. Please R&R and tell me what you think. I'm sorry updates aren't coming as quick just now, I'm just very busy. None of my stories are forgotten :o)**

**Also I've just created a poll which is kinda vital to this story, so please vote. Thanks :o)**

**Take Care everyone :o)**


	25. Holy Cow! Is That A Bird On Fire?

**A/N: Wow guys. Thank you so much for all those great reviews. I'm so glad that you liked the last chapter. Hopefully this one will be even better :o)**

**I want to dedicate this chapter specially to **_AlexCullen54321 _**for an idea that she shared with me. ****And to **_addictedtoOTH _**for those amazingly kind words. Thanks.**** Hope you guys like this chapter :o)**

**Please do the poll guys, it would help immensely.  
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_**Bella's POV**_

After watching Emmett run away from my boyfriend, who I will admit was currently limping from his little...golf ball incident, Jasper, Rose, Alice and I all decided that it was probably best to go and find them before either one of them ended up in even more trouble. After searching round a little, finding no trace of the boys, we decided to head back to the cabin...not that we were too thrilled about that. The place was practically a death trap. Emmett and Edward would show up sooner or later. The walk back was filled with laughter and jokes, each one of us making a snarky comment about the two 'children' that had went running off.

By the time we reached the caibn again, the sky was beginning to turn a beautiful orange colour. Stopping as everyone else made there way into the shack, I couldn't help but look up and smile. I guess not everything here was bad. Back home you could never stop and watch a sunset. You know, without the cabin, house full of crazy friends, and a gay bipolar cousin, this place could actually be amazing for a proper vacation. What with the mountains in the distance. The lake surrounded by tall trees. It was beautiful. I sighed in content, smiling a little while getting lost in my thoughts...but unfortunately that was short lived when I heard loud laughter coming from the cabin. What the hell had happened now?

Rolling my eyes I made my way inside, careful not to stand on any creaky boards or the hole that Edward had put through the porch. Everyone was laughing, much to my confusion. Even Charlie and Carlisle were trying to stifle back a chuckle. What had I missed? I looked between everyone before fixing my attention onto Edward and Emmett who were sitting on the sofa. I watched as Carlisle handed Emmett a small ice-pack, which was quickly applied to his head, but it wasn't Emmett that everyone was laughing at though...yep, that's right. It was Edward. Surprise surprise. There he sat on the couch, one ice-pack resting on his junk and another on a bump on his forehead. Hmm...funny, I can't remember him hitting his head.

"What happened?" I asked, walking over to him.

"When he was chasing Emmett..." Jasper bellowed out in between fits of laughter "He tripped on a tree stump and hit _himself _with the golf club!"

"It was frickin' hilarious!" Emmett joined in.

"Then why is Emmett sitting with an ice-pack?" I asked confused.

At this Emmett's laughter died down, and instead something I had never witnessed before happened. He blushed! That's right ladies and gentlemen. _The _Emmett McCarty blushed.

"I...uh..." He began, sounding rather embarrassed "When Edward fell, I turned round and laughed...but forgot to stop running. Next thing I knew a big tree popped out from nowhere!"

"Now _that_..." Edward spoke for the first time "Was frickin' hilarious. You literately bounced off the thing."

Ok, now it was my turn to chuckle. If only I was there...with a camera. That would have been priceless. New entry for _America's Funniest Home Video's_. Smiling a little I made my way up to the boys, squeezing in in between them.

"Poor babies." I said rubbing there backs "Did the big bad _inanimate _objects beat you up? WHAT is the world coming too these days!?"

At this everyone chuckled, Edward and Emmett looking even more embarrassed. Watching big macho guys like them blush, you just can't help but laugh. I think I'll hold this against them if they ever make another comment about me. Sounds fair. Right?  
**……………………………………………………………………………………………….**

_**Edward's POV**_

Well dinner had been...interesting to say the least. Bella had disappeared before anything had been served, which I guess was kinda lucky since we all ended up eating fish that been a little...how shall I put this...well done. Since the cabin didn't come with a working oven (which is kinda fucked up in a way) we ended up having to cook them over a fire in the yard...correction, _I _ended up having to cook them while the others just sat and talked. Word of warning, _never _put me near an open flame, cause nothing but bad luck comes from it. It doesn't take a genius to figure out that by the term 'well done' really means they caught fire. Let's just say that my Gran wasn't to pleased...in fact no one was. Lucky Bella wasn't there. I wonder where she is any way.

After spending about ten minutes trying to sneak away from the group, I went in search of my girlfriend. I walked round the cabin a few times, convinced that I had missed her, but still there was no sign. Sighing, I headed off into the forest. Now...I'm not saying that I was afraid...but being in there in the dark by yourself is kinda scary...Don't tell anyone I said that. I must have been walking around for about 20 minutes, heading closer to the lake. I could already make out the moonlight shining off of it through the trees...only when I wasn't snapping round to see if there was anyone behind me. What? Animals make strange noises.

Pretty soon I came to the edge of the forrest, and I couldn't help but smile when I found Bella sitting on a log, looking out onto the lake.

"Nice isn't it?" I said with a smile, startling her as I took a seat on the log.

"Jeez Edward." She jumped, chuckling a little before turning back to look "Yeah it is."

I looked out over the lake too, amazed at the beauty of it. It was like something you would see in a movie...or Canada. Large lake, tall trees and the breathtaking mountains behind them. Ugh, now I'm starting to sound all mushy.

"Where were you at dinner?" I asked, snapping her out of her daze.

"Here." She replied "Didn't really want to sit with James and Granny dearest. Sorry about that."

"It's alright." I replied "All you missed was me setting the fish on fire."

"Ooh." She winced "Did your Gran have a cow?"

I couldn't help but scoff.

"Gran had a cow, duck, horse and the rest of the whole damn farm." I replied, in which I received a chuckle from "Seriously, how are we expected to spend another two days with them. I know I've hardly seen James today, but isn't this whole vacation a little bit...drastic?"

"Edward, this vacation is punishment." Bella smirked "Not every teenage boy can turn round and say they got arrested while trying to do a prank war."

"You're never going to let me live that down are you?" I asked, a hint of a smirk playing at my lips.

"Nope." She beamed, standing up "Now c'mon, I want to do something fun."

I was expecting her to take my hand and drag me some place, but nope. Bella always seems to amaze me these days, because before I could blink, the brown haired beauty had ripped off her tank top and threw it at me, leaving her standing in nothing but her baby blue bra and jeans.

"Uh Bells..." I said, a little nervous "W-what you doing babe?"

"C'mon." She smirked, her jeans following her top "You can't say you've never wanted to go skinny dipping, can you?"

Oh sweet lord have mercy. This girl is going to be the death of me.  
**……………………………………………………………………………………………….**

_**Bella's POV**_

Well that was easier than I had expected. By the time that Edward had gotten up and pulled his shirt over his head, I had stripped down completely and was already in the water, which was surprisingly warm. Once surfacing and brushing my hair from my face, I turned to see Edward, who was standing looking slightly worried, still wearing his jeans.

"Oh don't be a baby." I chuckled "I've seen you naked before."

"Yeah, but we weren't out in public." He said, looking around.

"Edward." I rolled my eyes "It's a lake in the middle of nowhere, not the fountain at the mall. Just get in already."

Sighing, Edward finished what he had started and was soon in the lake. See nothing bad had happened. Smiling when he surfaced, I swam up to him, wrapping my arms around his neck and giving him a kiss.

"Now, was that so bad?" I asked with a smirk, playing with the wet hair on the back of his neck.

"I guess not." He replied "It's just that lately when you get me to strip, I'm usually put in an awkward position."

"Funny." I began "I don't recall any awkward positions this morning right after my Dad left."

"I'm talking about the lovely bath." He replied, causing me to blush.

Oh my goodness. How could I forget that. I practically pushed him out the window in nothing but his boxers.

"Ok, that I'll apologize for." I said, kissing him again "But really...who's going to catch us all the way out here. We're all alone. No one around."

I could see the smile growing on his face. Now, mine and Edward's relationship isn't just physical, actually it's far from it, and I know that this doesn't seem like something I would normally do, but some times we just need to let our hair down and have fun. Wouldn't you agree.

"So..." I began "Did your ice-packs help earlier."

I couldn't help but laugh a little as he gave me a playful glare.

"Yes actually they did." He responded "However the ice did make my balls become the size of BB's."

I laughed a little, rolling my eyes before kissing him again. I was just about to come up with a smart comment to that, but stopped when I heard something.

"Did you hear that?" I asked.

_"Bella!" _I heard.

"Oh shit!" Edward exclaimed "It's your Dad! What'd we do!? WHAT'D WE DO!"

"Uh..." I began frantically, looking round my self "Take a deep breath!"

"What!?" Edward looked at me as if I was crazy "Have you completely lost it!?"

"Just do it!" I said.

Reluctantly, Edward took a deep breath and in a matter of seconds I had pushed him under the water. Boy is it a good thing that he loves me. Just as he disappeared under the water, Charlie emerged from the tree's, smiling when he saw me. Of course I made sure that the water came up to my chin however.

"Hey Bells." He said, coming closer to the lake.

Oh please don't notice the clothes. For once act like a normal Dad and be oblivious. Please!

"What you doing in there?" He asked with a slight smirk.

"Uh..." I began, finding it difficult to concentrate due to the fact that I currently had my boyfriend clutching to my waist to keep him from floating up "Just wanted to go for a swim is all..."

It was only a few seconds later when I felt a pinch on my hip. Oh lord. He's probably needing air by now. How the hell am I going to distract Charlie!? Think Bells, think...what would Edward do?

"Uh..." I mumbled, looking round myself before looking up "Holy Cow!" I cried, pointing to the sky "Is that a bird on fire!?"

Just as Charlie looked up, Edward quietly surfaced, gulping for air just as Charlie was about to look back down. Panicked, I pushed Edward back under. Oh my gosh, I am _so _going to hell for this.

"Bells...that's a plane." My Dad informed, giving me a strange look "You Ok kiddo? You seem kinda...jumpy."

"I'm f-fine!" I stuttered out as I felt Edward's finger's begin to walk across my stomach.

Oh he's _so _going to get them broken.

"Did you want to tell me something or..." I carried on, trying to ignore the fact that my boyfriend was underwater trying to distract me.

Does he want to get us caught!?

"Oh yeah..." Charlie began "I got a call from the station back home. They need me to come in. Big robbery, so I'm leaving now. Hope you don't mind."

"Not at all Dad." I tried to smile as I felt Edward's hand run up my side "I'll see you in a few day's."

"Ok Bells...I'll see you later..." He turned to head back up to the cabin, but before disappearing, he turned back to face me "Oh and...uh...you can tell Edward he can come up now."

My eyes went wide. My jaw dropping as my Dad gave one of his cheeky grins and disappeared. Seriously, does the guy have a sixth sense or something!? First the bedroom incident and now the skinny dipping one! Most fathers would blow there top if they caught their daughters doing stuff like this with their boyfriends...But to be fair...I am _already _pregnant. I guess there's not much else I can do. I mean, Edward can't knock me up twice.

I was brought out of my shocked daze when Edward surfaced, splashing a little as he gulped for air. Turning round slowly, I glared at him.

"What the hell was that!?" I bellowed "You were practically wanting us to get caught! If I remember correctly, wasn't it you who was saying...and I quote..._What'd we do!? WHAT'D WE DO!?_"

"Hey..." He smirked "It was funny. Plus your Dad obviously knew I was there anyway...You know, I never knew that you could get that easily distracted."

"Shut up or I'll shove you back under there." I said, but couldn't stop the smirk from forming "I mean it's not like you need oxygen anyway."

"Yeah, only for breathing." He replied sarcastically.

"Next time just keep your hands to yourself." I stated.

"Ooh..." He smirked "So there's gonna be a next time?"

"You know what..." I began "I often ask this a lot, and I'm almost certain that I'll ask this again in the...most definitely near future, but why must you continue to piss me off. Because, you for one know this Edward...I am experienced in using kitchen knives...we wouldn't want a repeat of last year now would we?"

"N-no Ma'am." He replied hastily, shaking his head violently while swimming a little away from me.

Ugh, I swear. You _accidently_stab the guy once and he is forever afraid of you. Wimp. I mean, it's not like he walks with a permanent limp now is it!?  
**……………………………………………………………………………………………….**

_**Edward's POV**_

Well, the rest of the vacation went by brilliantly. We had so much fun and by the end James and I were practically best friends and my Grandmother and I had become very close...Sorry, I'm trying to keep a straight face here, but it just isn't working. I guess that's what my Dad was hoping for between us, but what really happened was a lot worse. The vacation turned out to be a disaster, not that I really expected anything different. By the time day two rolled along, Emmett and Jasper were practically going crazy without their video games. Rosalie was whining about the fact that her hair kept frizzing due to the humidity. Alice was visualizing stores everywhere. My Gran and Father were trying hard not to kill each other, and Bella and I were so bored that we had nothing better to do than to annoy the living crap out of James. I guess that was one advantage. He got so sick of us repeating everything that he said, and talking in the third person about ourselves that he ended up camping out in the back yard. I made the slight mistake in 'forgetting' to tell him about the grass snakes...Oops.

I was practically dancing when my Gran and James decided to head straight home from the Cabin. This is probably the happiest that I had been in days!

The drive back to Forks was rather pleasant. Bella and I drove together, both taking turns behind the wheel, but somehow we still managed to get lost. It was to be expected though. By the time that we had arrived home, it was once again pouring it down, something that I wasn't;t to upset about while at the cabin. At least it was dry and warm. It was around nine at night when I pulled up into my driveway, Bella sleeping next to me.

"Bells..." I said brushing some hair from her face "We're home, time to get up."

"Uh... She mumbled, slowly sitting up "I'm so tired."

I couldn't help but chuckle a little at her appearance. Her hair was everywhere, giving her a Weird Al/Alice Cooper type look, but I still think it was cute.

"Well you'll be in bed in a few." I replied.

"Be a dear and carry me." She mumbled, smiling a little through her yawns.

"Be a dear and stop talking like a 90 year old." I said with a chuckle.

Getting out the car, I ran round to her side and lifted her out. Her arms wrapped themselves round my neck and her legs round my waist as she yawned once more, closing her eyes as I carried her into the house.

"Love you." She murmured before drifting off into sleep once more.

"Love you too Bells."  
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**A/N: So Dude's and Dudette's...what do you think? Like it? Love it? Hate it? or just WTF? Please R&R. Didn't really know how to finish this chapter, but I kinda liked it. Tell me what you think. Hopefully it gained a few giggles :o)**


	26. The Reason Condoms Were Invented!

**A/N: OMFG!! I got 102 reviews for that chapter alone! Wow! Thank you all so much for all of those reviews. I had no idea that the last chapter would be as popular as it was. I got some amazing compliments from people saying that I was one of the funniest authors on the site. Wow! That meant so much. Thank you. I'm glad that you all liked the last update. I've had a lot of questions about how Charlie knows when Edward's about. :o)**

**I also want to say I'm glad that you all like Charlie in this story. I know that in other stories he would have flipped out, but I'm strange that way. I **_**always **_**try and make my characters different from everyone else. Sorry if that bothers anyone. lol. I know that's probably quite bad, but it's a nice change :o)**

**Hope you all like this chapter :o)**

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_**Edward's POV**_

It had been little over a month since the absolutely frickin' _wonderful _family and friends vacation had come to an end, and let me tell you, I could not be happier! Hopefully Granny will think twice before dropping by with James in the future. This has probably been our most memorable year yet...for many reasons. But I guess some of her visit was quite amusing, and she didn't hit me which is always a plus, don't you think?

Lying across the sofa of the Swan household, flicking through the channels of the buzzing TV with Bella resting against my chest, I couldn't help but sigh. Friday night, pouring down with rain and nothing to watch. What fun. But now that you guys know me, you probably already know that this is me being sarcastic. Turning off the stupid box in the corner, I lay my head back against the couch, closing my eyes while trying to think of something else we could do. We had already talked to everyone online. Watched a DVD. Bella had let me draw a smiley face on her small bump, which personally I think resembled Shrek perfectly...Ugh, there's nothing to do! We can't even invite the guys over because Charlie's home.

"Hey kids..." Mr. S began, walking into the living room "I just got a call from the station. I have to go, another robbery. You guys be OK here on your own?"

"Yes Dad." Bella smirked, rolling her eyes "We'll be fine. I'm pregnant, not helpless."

Smiling, Charlie gave a small nod, grabbed his gun and badge from the desk and left. There had been a lot of robberies during the last month. Remember, that's why Charlie had to leave the cabin early. Well, they still hadn't caught the guy. I know, I find it strange too since we live in such a small town. Hearing the front door close, I settled back into the couch, Bella turning round to face me with the crooked smirk that I was so infamous for.

"Well Edward..." She began, kissing my neck "We're all alone in this big house..." She carried on, kissing the other side of my neck "Wat do you plan on us doing now?"

She pulled back, inches from my face with a wide smile.

"Let's call the guys up." I said, sitting up fully, Bella falling back onto the other side of the couch "We can get Emmett to bring over Guitar Hero! I swear, I'm going to beat him _No Sleep Till Brooklyn _if it kills me!"

"You are so oblivious!" She stated, getting up and leaving the room.

What did I do now?

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_**Bella's POV**_

Ugh. Edward has the attention span of a banana! Why come every time I practically throw myself at him, he doesn't click? I wonder if his real father was anything like him when he was a teenager. Might explain a lot. After I cooled down and decided to go back into the living room, I was surprised to see that Emmett and Jasper had already arrived. Wow, that was fast.

"Hey Bells!" Emmett boomed, crushing me with a hug before patting my bump "Hey Baby Bells."

"Baby Bells?" I questioned with a smirk "You think it's a girl?"

"If it's not then you're screwed." He laughed "Hey, where can I set up the Wii?"

"My room." I said.

As the guys headed upstairs Rosalie and Alice walked in, Rosalie shaking her umbrella as Alice ran her fingers through her short hair. Their cheeks and noses were red, and even with the umbrella, Rosalie had still managed to get soaked.

"What did you do, swim here?" I asked with a chuckle.

"Oh ha ha." She muttered, folding the umbrella and sitting it at the door "We would have caught a ride with the guys, but Alice here insisted that we had to watch the news about these stupid robberies. C'mon! What's the point!? It's just someone who's bored and is breaking into houses. Big whoop!"

"You wouldn't be saying that if it was your house that they broke into." Alice said in a matter of fact tone, shrugging off her jacket "Seriously guys, this might end up getting really bad. The police don't know who it is at all, and the robber is starting to fan out a bit more. It was just a few days ago where my neighbour got her house broken into. I mean...imagine if it was my place! What if he stole my Mom's jewellery...or my grandfathers old pocket watch...or even worse, my shoes!"

"Yeah, well don't worry Alice..." I said as we headed upstairs "Out of all the houses in Forks, do you really expect him to pick our houses? And what would a guy want with your shoes. Hell, he wouldn't even be able to carry them all out. Now lets stop talking about this and have some fun"

By the time we reached my bedroom, we walked in to find Emmett and Edward playing the guitar like there lives depended on it, and I hate to admit it, but Emmett was kicking his ass. I guess Edward should just stick to real guitar.

"HA!" Emmett boomed once the game came to an end "Told you I'd win!"

"Shut up." Edward sneered, taking off the guitar before collapsing onto the bed.

We sat and talked for a few hours, munching into junk food while Edward and Emmett continued to play the game that I was really starting to hate. Seriously, there is only so much of 'The Beastie Boys' that I can take. Finally when their game came to an end, resulting in Emmett winning and Edward ripping the Wii cables from the TV, the two sat down and joined in on the conversation.

"So I've made an apointment for my first scan." I announced, reciving ear clutching screams from Alice and Rose.

"Oh my gosh!" Rosalie cried "When!?"

"Next week." I answered with a chuckle "It'll be too early to find out the sex, but I don't care."

"Woah..." Edward began "We're going to find out the sex of the baby? Don't you want it to be a surprise?"

"Ugh!" Alice moaned before I could answer "How many times do I have to go over this with you guys!? The baby is a boy!"

"Well the scan will prove it." I said "Now...what do you guys want to do now?"

But before anyone could answer, a small crash from downstairs caused us to jump, Emmett ending up in Rosalie's lap. Big baby.

"W-what was that?" He stuttered, looking towards the door.

"Probably just the wind." Edward answered, putting on a brave face.

We jumped again when there was another crash and the sound of glass breaking.

"_Ah shit_..." We heard from downstairs.

"And that was the wind too?" Jasper whimpered.

"Oh my gosh Bella!" Alice whispered harshly "The robber is down stairs!"  
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_**Edward's POV**_

Ok...breathe...remain calm...there's just someone broke into the house and is currently robbing us...I want my Mommy! Looking round the group of friends, I noticed that all of them were looking at me expectantly. Oh hell no! Now way am I going down to check what's going on! The guy could have a gun or something!

"Oh no." I whispered, looking at them all as if they had gone crazy "No way am I going down there myself!"

"Please Edward." Bella begged, clasping her hands together.

"Nuh-uh." I mumbled, crossing my arms over my chest "You'll see Jasper sprout wings and fly before you see me go down there."

"Edward..." Bella began, a little more sternly "If you don't go down, I will _never _have sex with you again."

"Ooh..." Jasper winced "No sex card, dude. I would go if I were you."

I turned to glare at my friend, who I could see was trying hard not to smirk.

"Emmett and Jasper will go with you!" Rose said, shoving Emmett off her lap.

HA! Take that

"Emmett and Jasper will do what!?" The both whispered back, looking at the blond as if she was giving them a death sentence.

But neither of the girls said anything. Instead, they all pointed to the door, ushering us out. Ok, time to suck it up and be the brave boyfriend...Plus, I want my sex. Nervously, we stood up, slowly making our way out of the bedroom, only to have the girls close the door. Great! Now we don't even have a room where we can run back to for safety if need be!

"I'm going to be having strong words with Rose after this!" Emmett whispered as we made our way downstairs, trying hard to avoid the creaks on the stairs.

About half way down, we heard more banging clinking and the odd curse word. Jeez...tell me how they haven't managed to catch this guy? I couldn't help but roll my eyes when Emmett jumped behind Jasper and I. Wimp.

"So what do you think we should do?" Jasper asked, looking at me as if I had all the answers.

"I think we should make like hockey sticks and get the puck outta here!" I said, trying hard not to raise my voice.

"Ok..." Jasper began "We'll take one look at him, get back upstairs and call the police..."

Nodding a little, I led Emmett and Jasper further downstairs. Quietly, we crept over to the living room. Nothing. Looking over at the kitchen, I noticed the light was on.

"Ok..." I began, walking over quietly "What type of robber starts in the kitchen!?"

"That's the first place I'd start." Emmett mumbled, causing both Jasper and I to roll our eyes.

That's Emmett for you though. Thinks with his stomach instead of his head. Peering round the door, we noticed the fridge open with someone ransacking it, wiggling their ass in the air while whistling. Ugh, a sight that I was hoping to forget very quickly. I couldn't really see what he looked like from the front, but from the back he had long brownish hair that was matted a little. He was dressed in nothing but black, with chains hanging from his jeans. Motioning for Emmett and Jasper to keep quiet, I tip toed towards the man. Now I don't know what possesed me to do the next thing, but I picked up a frying pan from the counter, continued on my journey towards the unwanted intruder and tapped him on the shoulder...and just as the dude turned round...WHACK! Right off his head. I watched as his eyes rolled back and he fell to the floor...OK...now what do I do?

"What the hell Edward!?" Jasper exclaimed, coming out of his hiding place, quickly followed by Emmett "I didn't know murder was part of your plan!"

"He's not dead..." I began, looking down at the guy "I think..."

"You are deeply nuts." Emmett said.

"Hey!" I defended myself "You don't like my plans, then don't put me in charge!"

"I'll shout the girls..." Jasper sighed "You...I don't know, do something with him..." Emmett's eyes widened in excitement as he was about to say something "And no Emmett, you can not braid his hair...It's scary enough that you actually know how to do that."  
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_**Bella's POV**_

We sat pressed against the door, trying hard to hear anything that was going on downstairs, but it was silent. I looked over at Rosalie, who looked like she was about to crap herself, and Alice, who was looking at me as if she knew this was going to happen the whole time! Psycic pixie! We sat there for what felt like hours, until we heard a loud clatter and the muffled voices of the guys. Oh no! Oh gosh, what's happening? Are they fighting? Did someone get hurt!? Oh my gosh, it's Edward! He's dead! I'm going to be raising this baby by myself! I began to hyperventilate, Alice and Rose trying to calm me.

"Snap out of it Bella." Alice said, slapping my face a little "Im...I'm sure it's nothing..."

"_Uh...guys..._" Came the voice of Jasper, snapping me out of my meltdown "_You uh...you can come down now..._"

Hmm...that was fast. Standing up, the three of us made out way out of the room and downstairs. Well...Jasper seemed calm enough, so I doubt that Edward was dead. Although the blond boy did look rather...nervous about something. Oh good lord! What have they done this time.

"Ok..." Jasper began, leading heading towards the kitchen, us following close behind "I...I don't know how to tell you all this...but it's all Edward's fault!"

Hmm, surprise surprise. Walking into the kitchen, I couldn't help but gasp, my hands flying to my mouth, there sitting right in front of me was the robber tied to one of my kitchen chairs...oh yeah, and did I mention he was UNCONSCIOUS!

"Oh...my gosh!" I splurted out "We're all going to jail _this _time! Edward what the hell!?"

"Hey!" He began "I captured this guy! I'm a hero here!"

I was just about to scream at him. Yell! Do something that caused him discomfort, but just as I opened my mouth, the long haired, facial pierced robber mumbled, opening his eyes a little. It's funny how your anger can be directed at one person, and in a matter of minutes switch to someone else.

"What the hell are you doing in my house!" I cried, my hands flying to my hips "I'm going to call my Dad, and he'll arrest your sorry ass."

"Ooh." He said, giving me a cut-the-crap look "I'm so scared. Mind untying me?"

"How stupid do you think I am!?" I cried, scowling at the man.

"Well..." He said, nodding towards my bump "I can see that you've got a bun in the oven, and at _such _a young age. I'm guessing...very..."

Ugh! This guy is the reason condoms were invented!

"Listen asshole!" Edward cut in "Unless you want that frying pan I hit you with to become a permanent part of your anatomy, I'd shut the hell up!"

"Look kids...we can do this the easy way, where you let me go..." He said, looking between all of us "Or, we can do this the hard way, where I get out, cause each and every one of you a severe amount of pain before robbing your asses and fucking off. Now...take your pick..."

"Severe amount of pain!?" Rosalie asked, a hint of a smirk playing at her lips "Honey, you wouldn't know pain if it came up and hit you itself."

"And you would!?" He scoffed "Boy I'd love to see what you classify as pain."

Smiling, I got an idea, and looking at Rosalie and Alice I seen that they had the same thought.

"Rose..." I began, crossing my arms over my chest while looking at the idiot before me "Go get...the stuff..."

**~*Twilight*~**

Five minutes later, Rosalie was back with 'The Stuff'. She sat everything on the kitchen table, Alice and I going over to help get the stuff ready while all the guys stared back at us in confusion.

"Uh...Bells..." Edward began "What you guys doing?"

"Don't worry Edward..." Rosalie began, holding up the object that was going to cause this douche bag _a lot _of pain "It's just a little present for our...guest."

I watched as Emmett, Jasper and Edward smirked in realisation, Edward biting his knuckles in order to hold his laughter in.

"No this..." I began, walking up to the intruder "Is going to hurt."

"What ever you say babe."

Babe!? No one but Edward gets to call me that! Fuming, I knelt down in front of him, rolling up his trousers to reveal, probably the most hairiest legs I have ever seen. Smirking up at the man, who was in even more confusion now, I tore off the paper from the wax strip that Rosalie had brought down, and applied it to the mans leg.

"Oh ow, ee. So painful. Please stop" The man droned on.

Oh, he likes sarcasm does he? I just smiled up at him, receiving a small sneer in return before ripping the wax strip straight from his leg, leaving a bald patch...and him screaming.

"OH HOLY SHIT!" He cursed, writhing about in his seat "That motherfucking piece of shit!"

"Oh I'm sorry..." I said with a smile "Did that hurt?"

"YES!" He cried.

"Hope it did you bastard..." I heard Rosalie mumble.

By this time, everyone (except the dude in the chair) was in hysterics.

"Hey..." Alice began, a smirk gracing her face as she calmed down "Maybe we should teach or friend here a valuable lesson...where he'll never want to rob, or mess with a girl ever again..."

I like the way she thinks.  
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_**Edward's POV**_

"Remind me never to mess with you girls." Charlie chuckled as he looked at the robber before him.

Once Alice, Rose and Bella had gotten their payback on the dickhead sitting in front of us, I called up Charlie and told him what had went down. He was here in a matter of minutes, along with half of Forks Police Officers, thinking that it was a serious situation...but when they arrived, they got a big surprise. Sitting in the chair was no longer the long haired badly dressed, peirced robber that only an hour ago we had been frightened of, but instead a man who had went through the magic touches of Alice Brandon. I couldn't help but laugh at the sight of him.

At first, I thought the girls were off their head, but now that I see the robber sitting there, make-up covering all his 'blemishes' as Alice liked to put it, his hair brushed, straightened and put up in girly bows and his finger and toe nails painted, I just had to laugh. But the thing that put the cherry on top of it was when Rose went and grabbed one of Bella's bikinis, managing to fit it onto him. It's now official. Emmett, Jasper and I should fear our girlfriends...more.

"Well done guys..." Charlie began as a couple of the fellow officers dragged the robber out, laughing their heads off "You just managed to catch Fork's most wanted."

"Well, you really should be congratulating Edward Dad." Bella began, coming over and wrapping her arms around me, hugging into my side "He's the one that knocked him out and tied him up in the first place."

Oh, so _now _she's happy for me!

"Nothing surprises me there." Charlie smirked "Well done son. I'll make sure and tell your Dad."

Smiling, I watched as Charlie and the others left to watch the robber get taken away, leaving Bella and I alone.

"This is weird." I said "I mean...My stupidity actually managed to do good for once! I'm just waiting for it all to backfire."

"Edward." Bella began, looking up at me with a smile "Just shut up."

Smiling back, I leaned down and kissed her. I guess the night wasn't as boring as I thought it was after all.  
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**A/N: Ok, this is like the 6th time I've wrote this chapter. I just could not get any ideas that I liked, and this one wasn't my favorite, but you've been waiting for a while for an update, and I had to just give you guys one. I know this chapter wasn't hysterical, but hopefully you all liked it. I'm just surprised that with every chapter I manage to come up with new stuff. lol. Please R&R and tell me what you think.**

**Also, the poll will be closing on Friday, so make sure you get your votes in :o)**

_**Question Time:**_

**1. Do you want Renee and Phil to make an appearance in the future (not near)?**

**2. Do you want only Bella to be pregnant?**

**3. Do you guys actually like having questions for your views, or would you rather I didn't leave any?**

**Also, I've started my first contest on YouTube guys. Please check the link out, and if you want to, enter. It would be great :o)**

**Take Care :o)**


	27. AUTHORS NOTE!

**Hi guys.**

**Ok, so this isn't a new chapter, sorry, But don't worry, there will be one up (hopefully) soon.**

**I'm just stopping by to tell you lovely readers that I have made a trailer for this fic, and it's on YouTube.**

**You can find the link on my profile.**

**I'm quite happy with it, but it's what you guys think that matters.**

**There's a lot of stuff in it that hasn't been in the story...yet! lol**

**Please check it out and tell me what you think :o)**

**Take Care**

**5t4c3y :o)**

**xoxo**


	28. Stop Comparing Your Child To Poultry!

**A/N: Aw guys, thanks so much for all those great reviews! I'm really glad you liked the last chapter. I just want to say though, that the robber wasn't Jake. He just had long hair :o)**

**Also! OMFG!!! Thank you so much to everyone who watched my trailer I made for this fic! Wow! I got honors and everything! Thank you thank you THANK YOU!!! lol. For those of you who didn't see it, you can find the link to it on my profile :o)  
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_**Edward's POV**_

"Are you nearly ready!" I heard Bella cry from the bottom of the stairs "C'mon Edward! Stop being a girl and move your ass! We're going to be late! Hurry up!"

Rolling my eyes and chuckling a little, I looked back into the mirror and ran my fingers through my hair once more before grabbing my car keys off of my nightstand. You're probably all wondering why Bella is so...how can I put this nicely...so unbelievably hyper and worked up that she is making me wish I was deaf...well the truth is, a week has passed since the little 'break in/torture the robber' incident and the day has arrived for Bella to get her first scan. She's been like this for the past three days, and to make matters worse, so has Rose and Alice...and of course Bella just _had _to spend every waking moment with them. It was like hanging around with three puppies on speed!

"EDWARD!" She cried a lot louder than last time "COME ON! Hurry up! Don't make me come up there!"

Wow. I didn't even know it was physically possible for someone her size to scream that loud. That has to go against all the laws of science.

"I'm coming Bells!" I called back, laughing slightly as I walked out the room "Don't get your panties in a twist!"

"Stop thinking about my panties Cullen and start moving!" She yelled.

I could almost hear her roll her eyes, and couldn't help but laugh again. Soon I came to the stairs, motioning down my body when I came into sight.

"Happy?" I asked as I walked downstairs.

"Very." She said, bouncing up and down slightly while holding onto the end of the banister "Now c'mon Edward. Am I the only one who's excited to see the baby?"

"Hey...I'm excited too." I defended myself "I'm just a little tired after last night. See my girlfriend kept waking me up every half hour to see how much longer it was until the sun came up!"

"So sue me." She scoffed, looking at me as if _I _was the crazy one "Now can we go? Please. Making me wait to see the baby is like making Emmett give up computer games cold turkey. Mean!"

It was my turn to roll my eyes, but I couldn't help but smirk a little before turning round and grabbing my jacket. That was before Bella grabbed the car keys from my hand and ran out the house. When I got outside she was already sitting in the passenger seat buckled up, and the engine was running. Hmm...I wonder if she's trying to tell me something here?  
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_**Bella's POV**_

Edward drives like a maniac. There's no denying it. I mean, the boy can actually make his cars fly, don't ask me how, but he can...but when your on your way to see one of the most amazing things that you'll ever experience, he just has to drive as slow as possible. My dead grandfather could move this car quicker! I swear he was doing it on purpose, and just for that, he's not getting _any_ for a week. I spent the whole journey with my arms crossed tightly over my chest, glaring at him out of the corner of my eye, only to find that he's trying to hold back a smirk! Make that _two _weeks without any.

I practically jumped out of the car when we came to a stop outside the hospital, shooting Edward another dirty look, only to have him smirk a little before looking at me wide eyed.

"You are _so _going to hell for that." I snapped, slamming the door.

"What?" He asked, still trying to hold back that smile whilst looking at me as if he had done nothing wrong.

Just keep calm Bells. Keep calm. Remember. You love him...most of the time. Forcing a smile, I took hold of his hand, making sure that I squeezed it extra tight, digging my nails in a little. I couldn't help but smile smugly when he yelped a little.

"Oh I'm sorry baby." I said, looking up at him "Did I hurt you? Darn these nails of mine."

And with that I dragged him into the hospital. We walked in silence for a little, making our way up to the front desk where a rather old looking lady sat looking incredibly bored. I'd like to say that she looked very friendly, but then I'd be lying. She looked worse than PMS Granny! I know, I didn't even think it was possible either, but she did. If I had to describe her, the spawn of Satan would probably be the best description I could give.

"Hi there." I began when we reached the desk, causing the little woman to glare at us.

Ok...someone forgot to take their Happy Pills this morning.

"I'm Isabella Swan..." I continued, trying to prove to her that she didn't scare me in the slightest "I'm here for my first ultrasound..."

"Hmph..." She mumbled, turning her attention to the computer in front of her, which I swear was probably older than Edward and I put together "Figures."

OK. How in the hell could she sit there and judge me like that.

"Excuse me?" I asked a little taken back "Is there a problem with that?"

"Not at all..." She fake smiled "Just very...predictable. Teenagers these days. They just don't know when to quit. Sex is almost like a game to them."

Oh my gosh! I'm in the Twilight Zone or something! Never did I ever think it possible that I could meet someone even nastier than Edward's horrible grandmother. I could feel the anger boiling up inside of me by this time, and was just about to give this old fart a piece of my mind when my ever handsome, yet slightly stupid boyfriend cut in.

"Hi Mary..." He began "May I call you Mary?"

I don't have a clue why he should. Her name tag read 'Sylvia'.

"I don't know what your problem actually is..." He carried on "But I think that you owe my girlfriend here an apology. Do you think we actually care what you feel about 'teenagers' these days? Do you think that we'll sit up late at night, crying about what you said to us? I doubt it. Yes...She's pregnant, which I guess isn't the most mature thing...and yes, we did have sex...but d'you know what..." He leaned in, his voice becoming nothing but a whisper as he smirked at her "It was _good_."

I couldn't help but laugh a little as Edward let the last word drone on, Sylvia...or Mary as Edward addressed her to, staring back at us in shock.

"Now..." Edward began, pulling back and smiling as if nothing had been said "Could you please direct us as to where we should be going?"

"D-down the hall and to your left." Stuttered the little lady, pointing down one of the many corridors without looking away from my boyfriend.

Ok. He's my hero again. My two week 'Not getting any' rule has officially been lifted...for now anyway.

"Thank you so much." He said sweetly before dragging me away.

Wow. Leaving her thinking about our very active sex life was probably the best pay-back anyone could come up with.

"You are so bad." I chuckled, glancing over my shoulder to take one last look at the surprised woman "I mean, you practically made her convulse!"

"Yeah..." Edward stated, looking down at me with loving eyes, that crooked grin gracing his face "Well no one pisses off the love of my life and gets away with it...unless it's me anyway."

Aw. Semi-romantic Edward. How cute. It shocks me that with each passing day I end up loving him more and more.

"I love you." I giggled.  
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_**Edward's POV**_

Ok. If Carlisle ever finds out what I just did to that little old lady (Which I think he will), he'll kill me. And if my mother ever finds out (Which I **Know **she will), she will teach me the art of time travel by knocking me into the middle of next week. Fun. After finding where we were supposed to go, Bella and I waited for about 10 minutes before being called in, Bella practically running into the room. I swear, I blinked and she had disappeared.

The thing that made me delighted though, was the smile that Bella was sporting. It was threatening to rip her face in two!

"So..." The ultrasound technician began, giving both Bella and I a friendly smile "How are the two of you today?"

"Amazing!" Bella declared happily, glancing at me and then back at the friendly red head "I'm so excited that I've hardly slept! Can we see the baby now!? Can we!?"

I couldn't help but laugh a little when the technician turned to me and leaned in.

"Does she happen to be on any caffeine products?" She whispered, glancing at Bella who was still looking like a crazy person.

"Nope." I began "But it would explain a lot. Just consider yourself lucky. I have to go home with her."

At this the technician laughed before turning back to Bella, who had stopped smiling long enough to glare at me. There's the Bella we all know and love!

"Ok Bella." The technician began once more "Just lie back, roll up your shirt and we'll get started."

Nodding a little, Bella did what she was told. I smiled at the sight of her. She only had a little bump. Tiny really, but it was still there. An indication that our baby was growing, and that with each passing day we were getting closer to parenthood. Is it alright that I'm scared shitless about that part? I watched as the kind technician applied a blue jelly type thing to Bella's stomach, something that reminded me of the jell-o that I had _attempted _to make when I was 11. Turned out not to be the most edible thing, because Charlie ended up in hospital for a week after eating it. Nasty stuff. She shivered a little when it made contact with her pale skin, but almost automatically her gaze turned towards the small screen of the monitor, which was yet to be turned on.

"Ok..." The technician mumbled, turning on the small screen which made a buzzing noise "Time to see your baby."

Bella's face lit up at those words, and I had to admit, I was desperate to see too. Smiling down at my girlfriend, the technician ran a small camera type thing over the gel, and pretty soon...there it was. The perfect image of our baby. Ok, so it looked more like a alien rather than a baby, but still...it was amazing.

The room went silent as we all watched the screen. I eventually managed to pull my gaze away from the screen to look down at Bella, who I was surprised to see crying. Smiling, I took hold of her hand, squeezing it gently before bringing it to my lips and kissing it.

"Would you like to hear the heart beat?" We were asked, both of us filled with excitement.

"Hell yeah!" Bella exclaimed before blushing bright red "I-I mean...that would be great."

Laughing a little, the technician brought out a small machine, turning it on before running something that looked an awful lot like a tube over Bella's stomach. I didn't hear anything at first, but pretty soon a soft thudding filled the room, and I couldn't help but smile again.

"Holy mother of snot!" I bellowed "Did you hear that!?"

I looked at Bella excitedly, who nodded, laughing a little before pulling me down for a kiss.

Pretty soon, the blue gel had been wiped from Bella's stomach, and she was sitting up, the smile permanently etched on her face. She held my hand tightly, our fingers entwined as we waited for the technician to give as a picture of the scan.

"There's your baby." She smiled, handing us the picture "That there is a hand...and there's a foot, and of course, that's the head."

"Oh my goodness." Bella cooed, turning to face me "It looks like you Edward."

"You're trying to say that I look like a chicken wing?" I asked.

"Edward, stop comparing your child to poultry!" Bella scolded

At this, the technician laughed.

"I'll leave you two alone." She began, heading for the door "Oh, and congratulations. I can tell that you'll make great parents."

Smiling at the woman before she left, I turned to Bella.

"Hear that?" I asked proudly "We'll make great parents!"

"Well, I've had plenty of practise." Bella stated, standing up to put on her jacket.

"How so?" I asked with a crooked smile, following her actions in standing up.

"I'm dating _you_ aren't I?" she replied, smirking when I gave her a playful glare.

"Oh Ha ha." I muttered, wrapping an arm round her waist as I led her out the room, snatching the picture as we went "My sides are splitting."

"Sarcasm will get you nowehere Mr. Cullen." Bella smiled as we made our way back out the hospital.

We were just about to leave when I stopped and turned towards the horrible woman behind the reception desk who I was ready for seriously running over earlier, Smiling, I gave her a wave, Bella laughing at her expression before pushing me out the door. I doubt she'll ever mess with us again.  
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_**Bella's POV**_

Edward and I talked excitedly in the car. I just could not stop looking at the picture of our new little baby. Our new little Cullen. I couldn't help but smile every time I did. Just under six months and we'll be meeting them. The feelings that I felt when seeing the baby on the screen, and then hearing their heartbeat was unbelievable. I never knew that I could love someone so much, and not even have met them yet. My love for Edward was totally different for my love for our child. I never understood different types of love until then.

We continued to drive back to the house, Edward getting distracted easily by the picture. We nearly ended up crashing into another car! But thankfully we made it home safe. Heading into Edward's house, I barely got to sit down before Esme was at the top of the stairs calling for me.

"Bella!" She cried "Can you come here for a second/ I need to talk to you about something."

Turning, I gave Edward a questioning look, only to have him shrug his shoulders. Some help he is.

"Sure Esme." Standing up, I waddled upstairs, only to be pulled into her and Carlisle's bedroom, the door closing and being locked behind me.

I don't know wheather to be confused or scared. Maybe a bit of both, you know, just to balance things out.

"What's wrong?" I asked when she looked at me all panicked.

And then I noticed it. The little white stick in her hand.

"Esme..." I began, looking at the pregnancy test with wide eyes "Are you?"

Oh holy shit.  
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**A/N: DUN DUN DUN!!! lol, Ok, so I very rarely leave on a cliff hanger. lol. The last one was Chapter 22. What did you think? Loved it? Hated it? Let me know :o)**

**So, should Esme be pregnant or not? Could lead to a lot of humour and fun, or drama and...well, more fun :o) Please review!**


	29. What Was Hitler's Last Name?

**A/N: Wow...seriously just...OMFG! Those reviews just kept coming. 185!!! lol. Like when I was debating whether or not to make Bella pregnant, I know that some of you will be dissapointed, but in the end after reading a lot of mixed feedback, I went with my gut instinct. If you don't like it, well then I'm sorry. You can't please everyone. But I do hope that you continue to read either way. The decision that I have made will not be that big a deal :o)**

**Enjoy.**

**I also wanted to say (without sounding like a total bitch) that I got loads of anonymous reviews for the last chapter saying that Esme shouldn't be pregnant and that it would be a dumb or stupid idea and would ruin my story. I could sorta tell when people were going back and reviewing more than once to get their point across, but please don't. One review is fine. Their all taken into consideration. I was getting like 4 reviews at a time telling me not to do it. It kinda made me feel a little down when that happened, and delayed this chapter going up because I didn't know what to do. The only reason I could tell it was the same person was because the writing style was the same. Altogether I got 17 reviews that looked like they were from the same person. I'm almost positive that they were.**

**Anyway, rant over. On with the story :o)  
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_**Bella's POV**_

Holy hell! This cannot be happening. I'm having a great day. Seeing my baby, hearing the heartbeat, insulting my boyfriend...and then all of a sudden I come home only to be dragged into a bedroom by my boyfriends mother, all because she thinks she's pregnant! Oh this _can't _be good. Seriously, two babies crawling around. TWO! Edward's struggling to imagine ONE around! Oh my gosh! OH MY GOSH! I could feel my chest tighten, my eyes threatening to pop out as I continued to watch the stick in Esme's hand. _Blink you idiot! It isn't going to start singing and dancing! _Blinking furiously, I looked up at Esme, who looked a little worried. Oh my gosh! What if she is pregnant!? What will Carlisle say? What will _Edward _say!? He'll have a new baby brother or sister _after _I've given birth to his son or daughter! Our child will have an aunt or uncle younger than them!? But maybe she's not pregnant. That stupid little plus sign hasn't shown up yet...nor has the minus mind you. But if she wasn't pregnant, she would end up getting upset, and I'd hate to see Esme upset...Ugh, why does life have to be so confusing! Half the time I feel like I'm in a sitcom and the other half a damn soap opera!

Collapsing into the chair that sat in the corner of the room, I stared up at Esme in shock. I didn't even know she was showing symptoms of being pregnant! Shows how observent I've been. Giving a shaky sigh, I ran my fingers through my hair, trying to picture yet _another _baby crawling around the place...But I just couldn't see it. I couldn't help but laugh in my head. What are the chances of Esme actually being pregnant? I'm just being stupid jumping to conclusions, because there is absolutely no way on this earth that Esme is-

"I'm pregnant!" She gasped.

Oh. Good. Lord. The future grandmother of my child is having a baby of her own. Can anyone say 'Father of the Bride 2'? Ok, I have officially come to the conculsion that I should never listen to myself. Turns out I'm wrong.

"Oh...my gosh." I managed to spit out "But you're...You can't be pregnant! It's...you...SHUT UP!"

"Bella, honey breathe." Esme said, sitting on the bed "I think that the best thing to do right now...is to think about what we're going to say to the boys."

Say what?

"WE!?" I exclaimed, my eyes probably bugging out of my face "Ohhh NO! Look, Esme...I know that it took two people to make this little bundle of joy, but I would like to remind you of one tiny little thing. I AM NOT ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE!"

"Bella please!" Esme begged, clasping her hands and looking at me with pleading eyes "You've got to help. I mean Carlisle's fine. Carlisle I can deal with. Edward on the other hand...not so much. All I'm wanting you to do is to tell him ever so subtly...that he's going to be a big brother..."

She gave me a nervous smile to finish her 'convincing' speech.

"No." I stated, getting comfy in the chair, cause I was NOT for moving.

"Aw, Bella please." She pleaded "C'mon, you can not do this to a pregnant woman!"

I gasped, my eyes going wide as I stood up.

"You stole my line!" I cried before flopping back down into the seat "Esme...I just...I don't know what to say that won't freak Edward out...I mean you can't deny it. The boy makes a mountain out of a mole hole frequently. When I was telling him about our baby, I thought he was dead! No joke. He practically drowned himself in a bottle of wine."

"He was drinking!?" Esme scolded.

"I see what you're doing and it's not working." I smirked, pointing at her "Stop changing the subject. I can see a little 'Edward' shinning through on you."

She couldn't help but laugh a little. For someone who's just found out she was pregnant, Esme is acting very calm. Granted she already has a son, and she isn't an 18 year old schoolgirl who's father is the chief of police. But this was going to be Esme's first born. She's never really dealt with a baby before. Edward came into their lives when he was 2...Boy this is going to be fun. Sighing I gave her a small smile.

"Alright..." I began "I'll tell him, but I need to really suck up to him...make him feel great before dropping a bomb shell like this on him."

"How do you plan on doing that?" Esme asked, chuckling slightly.

I couldn't help but blush a little.

"Uhh..." I stuttered "It's a surprise...Gotta go."  
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_**Edward's POV**_

Ok, I don't know what my mother said to Bella, but right now I really don't care. I was just sitting in the living room, minding my own business, staring continuously at the picture of the baby, when Bella came down, giving me this seductive smile before crawling along the sofa to sit next to me. Even when she's pregnant she still looks sexy as hell. I couldn't help but smile back, leaning back onto the arm of the couch as she crawled over to me, sitting between my legs as she played with the collar of my shirt.

"Well hello there." I began.

Man, having a kid in you can really mess with a woman's hormones. Not that I'm complaining though.

"What do I owe this nice surprise to?" I asked

"Well..." Bella began, pausing as if she had no idea what she should say "...Charlie is out at work and won't be home for another couple of hours, and your Mom wants to talk to your Dad about something...so I was thinking, why don't we go over to my place and I'll make some lunch. Afterwards we could put on a DVD in my room and maybe...not watch it..."

She smiled, looking up at me through her long lashes. Oh good lord the girl is a goddess! Sex _and _lunch! I've hit the jackpot!

"You know what Bells..." I began, leaning down to kiss her "I _love _the way you think."

**~*Twilight*~**

Yup! Definitely love the way Bella thinks! My eyes were heavy as Bella lay next to me in her queen sized bed, the covers pulled up over her chest. She sighed in content as I traced small circles on her arm while staring up at the ceiling. This was nice. I liked moments like these. Not just because my stunning girlfriend was lying next to me naked as the day she was born (although that was a big plus), but because for a little while, life felt normal and uncomplicated. We were just Edward and Bella.

"Hey Edward..." I heard Bella say softly, sitting up a little and looking down at me.

"Hmm..." I mumbled, opening my eyes to look up at her.

"I need to talk to you about something..." She choked out "Something important."

Shit, that can't be good. What had I done this time? I knew for a fact that it wasn't about my little 'chat' with the evil receptionist at the hospital... Bella actually found it quite hilarious. Then it hit me. Uh oh.

"Is this because I ate the last pop tart, cause I swear it wasn't me!" I began frantically "It...it was Emmett!"

Bella had been very possessive about her food lately. I mean, it was just the other day there when she caught me eating her candy bar. She shoved the waste paper basket on my head and it got stuck!

"No." Bella laughed.

I couldn't help but sigh with relief, but once I had Bella's smile faded.

"You...you know that life is going to really change when the baby arrives..." She began, avoiding eye contact as she played with the edge of the blanket "How...how different do you think it'll be if _two _babies arrived?"

HUH!? Ok, now I was fully awake. Startled, I sat up quickly, managing to fall out of the bed in the process. Standing up I backed away from Bella a little, not really caring that I was stark naked.

"Two!?" I cried "Two!? As in two mouths to feed, two ass' to wipe and two to send to college! TWO!?"

"Edward calm down..." Bella began as I quickly grabbed my boxers, pulling them on while trying to step into my shoes at the same time (Not as easy as it looks, I must say) "It's not what you-"

"TWO!?" I cried again, cutting her off "...I need to talk to the guys!"

Grabbing my t-shirt I slipped it on, running out of the room faster than she could blink...but I was sorta forced to go back. Pants are sorta a necessity. But when they were on, I was gone. I need to talk to Jasper and Emmett! And fast!

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_**Bella's POV**_

Ok. So that didn't really go to plan. Didn't mean to nearly kill the guy, but Edward took off so quickly I didn't even have time to explain what I was talking about. Like I said earlier, the boy makes a mountain out of a mole hole. After I heard the Volvo door slam shut and the car zoom off down the street, I got dressed and made my way back over to Edward's house. Hopefully Esme had told Carlisle by now. Entering the house, I walked into the living room to see Carlisle sitting on the couch looking very pale with about ten pregnancy tests sitting in front of him. I'm guessing she told him.

"Maybe I should get you another test." He stuttered, beginning to stand up.

"Carlisle!" Esme bellowed "I swear if you make me pee on another one of those damned sticks, I'll shove them down your throat!"

Ok...maybe he didn't take it as well as we had expected. Sighing, Carlisle sat back down, looking at the tests. Smiling, Esme looked up and waved me in.

"I see everything went well here." I began, looking at Carlisle who looked like he was about to throw up.

"It went fine." Esme reassured.

Could have fooled me.

"He's just in a bit of shock is all." She carried on "Give him 2-4 hours and he should hopefully be able to form a coherent sentence without asking me to pee on anythng."

I had to laugh a little. I walked round to sit across from Carlisle, who didn't even notice I was there, Esme quickly following me.

"So how did Edward take the news?" Esme asked anxiously "Did he freak out?"

"...No..." I squeaked.

Is it wrong to lie to your best friend's mother?

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_**Edward's POV**_

Two! How in the hell could this happen!? I don't know how many speed laws I broke while driving to Emmett's place, but before I knew it I was there, running in his house without knocking and heading up to his bedroom where I would probably find him kicking Jasper's ass at a video game. Running into the room breathlessly, I slammed the door shut, receiving some strange looks from my friends, who surprisingly weren't playing any video games. Instead they were studying!

"Good lord, what is _happening_ to everyone!" I cried, my hands flying to my hair.

I began to pace the room frantically, trying to find the right words, but I couldn't. Instead I just said the first thing that popped into my head.

"I think there's an ever so small chance that I knocked Bella up...twice!" I exclaimed, turning to face my friends.

They stared back at me in shock, their jaws hanging as the pencil that Emmett was holding fell from his hand.

"You are shitting me." Jasper finally spoke "How the hell do you think that!?"

So I told them. I told them every little detail about the short conversation I had had with my girlfriend, hoping that they would prove me wrong and tell me that I was being ridiculous. But they didn't! They just sat there in silence! What the hell was I supposed to do! I was practically shitting bricks and all they could do was sit there!

"Say something!" I begged, sitting on Emmett's bed "I'm about to become a father to two children! TWO!"

"O-OK..." Jasper stuttered, standing up "Edward, just calm down. Maybe you're jumping to conclusions. Did Bella actually say she was having twins?"

"Not in so many words." I stated "But c'mon man! I can read between the lines!"

"Hey, what was Hitler's last name?" Emmett piped in, flicking through a History textbook.

Noticing my confused look, Jasper decided to fill me in on what they were doing before I ran in with my major dilemma.

"Emmett here has a History test tomorrow that he _obviously _needs help with." Jasper stated "But back to you. What you gonna do?"

"I don't have a clue." I sighed "I feel kinda bad just running out on her like that."

Sighing, I ran my fingers through my hair once more. What the hell do I do now? My phone rang, bringing me out of my thoughts. Bella. Damn. What do I say to her?

"Uh...hey Bells." I spoke into the phone, putting it one speaker so Jazz and Emmett could listen in.

_"Edward! Get your ass back here now!" _she whispered harshly _"I didn't get to tell you what I was going to say!"_

Oh believe me...I knew what you were going to say.

_"I mean..." _she carried on _"I didn't know how I was going to tell you this, but now since you're acting like a complete Drama Queen, I'm just going to say it...Your mother is having a baby!"_

"WHAT!?" Emmett, Jasper and I cried together.

Fuck!  
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**A/N: Ok guys, I'm leaving it there because I'm really not happy with this chapter. After all of those reviews I just was not in the mood to write, because I like to make everyone happy. I nearly just abandoned this story. I'm really sorry about the delay though. Hopefully the naked Edward in this chapter made up for that though :o)**

**Please R&R. Thanks :o)**


	30. The Gates Of Hell Have Opened!

**A/N: Guys. Thank you so much for all of those kind words. You really made me feel a lot better. Thanks for all of the reviews, I'm so glad that you liked the last chapter. Hopefully you'll like this one just as much. You really made me see that I should just ignore the mean reviews. If they don't like where the story is going, then fine. They don't have to read it. Lots of other people will :o)**

**Enjoy :o)**

**I'm going to give you guys a slight warning here which you will probably find amusing, but I kinda need to put it in. After reading this chapter you'll understand. Please DON'T drink a bottle of mouthwash.  
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_**Edward's POV**_

My Mother! Of all the people, it's my Mother who is pregnant! Holy shit! This...this cannot be good! Once Bella's phone call had come to an end, and I had officially freaked out in the middle of Emmett's room, resulting in his History textbook getting launched out the window, I drove back to my place like a maniac. How the hell could this happen! Actually...don't answer that question. Once reaching my house I left the car abandoned in the middle of the road, the engine still running and the door left open. Running up the steps of the porch I bolted into the house, finding my Mom, Dad and Bella sitting in the living room talking amongst themselves.

"You're pregnant!" I cried before anyone could even acknowledge my presence, marching into the room with my arms flying in all sorts of directions before coming to a halt in front of my Mom.

Looking up at me, my Mom gave me a sheepish smile, a nervouse chuckle escaping from her lips.

"H-hey honey." She stammered, standing up to greet me "How's your day been?"

"PREGNANT!" I cried once more, flopping down onto the sofa next to Bella while turning to face her "And you knew about it!"

I had no idea whether to be relieved at the fact that Bella still only had _one _baby inside her, or completely and utterly grossed out that my Mother of all people was up the spout herself. I stared blankly at the TV, which was off by the way, getting lost in my thoughts. I was going to become a father before I became a big brother. Does anyone else think that that is slightly fucked up? I sat like that for what felt like hours before Bella waved in front of my face, bringing me out of my trance like state.

"B-but you can't be pregnant..." I finally managed out, looking up at my Mother in disbelief "I mean you're..."

"Not ready..." My Mom questioned, cutting me off "Stealing your thunder...ruining your life..."

"Old!" I corrected.

"Edward!" My Mom scolded, her hands flying to her hips as she stared down at me "I'm 35!"

"Exactly!" I bellowed "It's weird...and gross to say the least."

Sighing I fell back against the couch, Bella taking hold of my hand to rub soothing circles on the back of it. I should be mad at her right now. I _wanted _to be mad at her, but damn that woman knew how to calm me. She led me into a false sense of security by giving me sex and lunch!

"Edward..." Bella began "I know this is sudden and...unexpected...but you should be happy for your parents. Plus you should be excited. You'll be a big brother."

"Most parents would have bought their child a puppy." I said, turning to face her before turning back to my parents "I mean seriously, have you ever heard of a thing called 'condoms'?"

"Have you?" My father asked, crossing his arms over his chest while giving me a smug smirk.

"Touché." I mumbled, sinking further into the chair.

What the hell was the point in sulking anyway? It wasn't going to change anything. My Mom was pregnant, I was going to be a big brother and now I was permanently scarred at the fact that after all these years being married, my parents are still at it like rabbits. I think I just felt my lunch come up a little bit there. What a great frickin' day this has turned out to be.  
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_**Bella's POV**_

A week had passed since Edward had found out about his Mom's pregnancy. I'd love to say that he was taking the news well, but then I'd be lying. I could tell deep down that Edward was feeling a little upset about the whole thing. It had always been the three of them. Esme and Carlisle were the only family that Edward knew. He was their son. I guess he was just a little worried in case the new baby would replace him, which I new for a fact would never happen. Even if Edward wasn't a biological child of theirs, Carlisle and Esme still loved him like he was.

It was Saturday when I got the phone call from the ever excited Alice, telling me to get a copy of the local paper and turn to page 17. I couldn't help but smile when I found what she was talking about. This was a perfect idea. Telling her to phone Rosalie and meet Edward and I in Port Angeles in an hour, I ran to find my boyfriend. I wasn't surprised to see him sitting in my living room playing 'Halo 3' with my Dad.

"Edward..." I began, walking into the room "Babe we need to go meet the guys at Port Angeles."

"Why?" Edward asked with little interest, his gaze never leaving the TV.

"Uh...Shopping...for the baby." I lied.

"Ugh, Bells..." He whined, still watching the TV "_More _shopping! I would have thought that you would have been satisfied with the amount of things that you've gotten so far...Clothes...crib...and that weird Diaper Genie thing...seriously, what's with that!? Whatever happened to just throwing it out the window and praying that it hit the trash...or someone like Newton?"

"You know, your obsession with hurting Mike Newton confuses and concerns me." I said, my arms crossing over my chest "Can you just get ready, please?"

"Best listen to her kid." My Dad piped in "The other day she asked me to take the trash out, and I forgot...I spent 3 hours trying to get back into the house! Locking your Dad out is not nice Bella ."

"Boo-hoo." I replied "Now come on Edward. Move your ass."

Sighing, Edward finally dropped the controller, said goodbye to my Dad and the both of us managed to leave...I couldn't help but feel a little guilty though. If Edward _really _knew where we were going then I'd be dead.

**~*Twilight*~**

"We're here!" Alice cried happily, pointing up at the building before us.

Smiling, Rose, Alice and I turned to face our boyfriends, trying hard not to laugh at the look of confusion etched on each of their faces. They stared up at the building, Emmett scratching his head, Jasper looking around to see where we were...or looking for the hidden cameras, I don't know, and Edward looked up wide eyed, backing up a little. Yup. He had clicked.

"Where the hell are we?" Jasper asked, turning to face Alice "You told me that we had to go shopping for some important...stuff..."

"Well..." Alice began happily, her eyes sparkling with excitement as she began to explain "Earlier today, I saw an advertisement in the paper about an open day where new parents, or parents-to-be can go and ask questions, look around...basically find out all the information they need about welcoming a child into the world."

"Yeah, because doctors don't know _any _of this stuff." Edward said sarcastically, looking up at the building once more.

"_Anyway_..." Alice continued, shooting him a pointed glance "We thought it would be a great idea if we went and got talking with some people. That way all of us can help Bella and Edward out and know _exactly _what to do...But we knew you guys would never agree to it so..."

"Aw!" Emmett cried in disappointment with a hint of frustration "Rose! You told me we were going to the zoo!"

"Emmett, you can see the penguins another time." Rosalie said while rolling her eyes "Now, are we going to just stand out here and stare at the pretty building for the next hour and a half, or are we actually going to go in?"

Laughing a little, we began to head in, Alice leading the way while Rose stood behind Emmett and Jasper to make sure they wouldn't make a run for it. It was no secret that they were scared shitless of Rose. The girl had beaten Emmett so many times at arm wrestling that I had lost count!

"I can't believe you interupted my game of 'Halo 3' to drag me to a damn baby convention." Edward whispered as we walked in "I mean, this sort of thing should be illegal! What are they gonna have!? Stalls where you can buy a kid!"

"Edward..." I said in a warning tone "Behave or we'll stay longer."

"Fine!" He mumbled "But don't expect me to learn anything."

"Don't worry, I won't." I scoffed a little before giving him a smirk, only for him to give me a playful glare.

Chuckling a little, I took hold of his hand and pulled him along. We didn't stop until we came to a big room, the sound of frantic mothers and children screaming invading my ears. Oh my gosh. That was going to be me in 6 months! Looking around, I noticed that Alice, Rose and the guys had went off in their separate directions, Jasper and Emmett looking as if they were about to die. It wasn't that bad! They had been in the room less than 2 minutes! Turning to face Edward, I couldn't help but laugh at his reaction. His eyes were wide with fright as children round about the age of three or four ran passed, their fathers chasing after them as they crawled under tables and chairs, destroyed some of the stalls and even drew on a few of the walls. I felt his grip on my hand tighten as he side stepped closer to me. I could almost see the mental images of him doing that with our child flash across his eyes.

"Bells..." He whimpered "I wanna go home!"

"Babe, they're just kids." I laughed, kissing him before pulling him further into the room.

"No..." Edward corrected "Those are not kids, they are Satan's minions in human form!"

I laughed again, making my way over to one of the stalls. This was going to be a long day.  
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_**Edward's POV**_

It's official. This is by far the worst thing that Bella has ever done to me. What did I do to deserve such punishment!? I mean, I'm a good boyfriend. I love her, I care for her, and what does she do! She goes and drags me to this stupid place! I've never been so bored in all my life! There I was standing against the wall, looking over the many parents that filled the room while holding Bella's hand as she spoke to a woman at the stall about breast feeding, and the benefits of it. Not something I really wanted to think about. Don't get me wrong, Bella has great rack. I just don't want to picture my kid attached to her every time I think about her boobs. Kinda ruins the moment.

I sighed, tapping my foot impatiently as Bella continued to ramble onto the woman. Do you think it's actually possible to die of boredom? Glancing over at Bella, who didn't seem to be moving any time soon, I couldn't help but notice Jasper and Emmett standing over at a table next to the stall, laughing.

"I'll be right back." I cut in, kissing Bella on the cheek before heading over to see the guys.

"What's so funny?" I asked, hope bubbling up.

Maybe something fun would come out of this day.

"Dude..." Jasper chuckled out "You gotta see this...Bong of the future!"

Side stepping, Jasper pointed to a weired looking object on the table. My eyes went wide when I realised what it was. No way! I laughed along with them, picking up the strange looking bong that my friends had found moments before.

"Looks like these guys are doing a little bit more than teaching." Emmett laughed "Seriously, who would bring a bong to a baby convention!?"

Laughing again, I grabbed the bong, flipping it between hands before bringing it to my lips, pretending to use it. We laughed again, carrying on until the girls showed up, the bong still at my lips.

"Edward..." Bella said with a smile, her hands on her hips as she cocked her head to the side and looked up at me.

"Look...a bong." I laughed, hardly removing it from my lips.

I don't know why the hell we found it so funny. I mean, it's not like we hadn't seen one before, but finding one here...it was like finding food at Emmett's place.

"Honey..." She began "That's not a bong...it's a breast pump."

A _what _what! My eyes went wide, and I didn't even think twice before throwing it across the room, receiving some strange looks from other people.

"Ew, ew, ew, ew..." I chanted, wiping my mouth perfusly "Please don't have been used. Please don't have been used!"

By this time, everyone was in fits, Jasper and Emmett actually wiping tears from their eyes. Yeah, bet they wouldn't be doing that if it was _them _fooling around with a titty pump! Ugh. That is by far the most disgusting thing I have ever experienced! I think it's even worse than finding out about my Mom! Now that's going somewhere!

"Let's. Go. Home." I said through gritted teeth, leading the way out of the room with my giggling friends behind me.  
**……………………………………………………………………………………………….**

_**Bella's POV**_

Ok. That was hysterical! I mean, I knew his reaction would be bad, but never in a million years did I expect Edward to through that pump like it was a grenade! I do feel kinda bad though. I watched him and the boys fool around with that thing a whole five minutes before bursting their bubble. Seriously, who would bring a bong to a place like that? What was Edward thinking? I still had to laugh when we all sat at our usual table in the diner, a place where we hadn't been in weeks. There Edward sat, glaring at nothing in particular as he drank straight from a bottle of mouthwash that he had _insisted _on picking up at the nearest drug store. Not the most intelligent thing to do, I know. A simple mint would have maybe calmed him down a little, but _no_. Edward just had to go the extra mile and (Like I've said before) make a mountain out of a mole hole.

"Edward, stop sulking." I smirked "It wasn't that bad."

"You don't know!" He exclaimed, taking another mouthful and swirling it around.

We had to laugh again. Poor boy is probably scarred for life.

"Promise me that you'll label everything in our house that I should not touch in fear of severely grossing myself out." Edward carried on "I mean I don't really want to come into contact with that frickin' baby bong again!"

"Our house?" I questioned, letting my chin rest on my hand while giving him a smile "You asking me to move in with you?"

He blushed a little, and I had to laugh, as did everyone else. Just as Edward had regained composure and was about to answer my question, his cell phone rang. Groaning he answered, not really caring who it was.

"Hello..." He began in a bored tone before sitting up straighter "Ok, Dad...DAD! Slow down! What the hell has gotten into you?...What?...Ok, I'll be right over."

Flipping his phone shut, Edward gave us all a confused look.

"My Dad wants me back now." He said, answering our silent questions "He says, and I quote _'This is bad! This is very _very _bad!'_."

**~*Twilight*~**

We all went our separate ways at the diner, Edward and I driving home in a comfortable silence, although I could tell he was a little alarmed by the frantic phone call from his Dad. We soon came to a stop outside the house, making our way inside only to find Carlisle pacing the room, his hair sticking out at all angles. He sorta looked like a blonde version of Edward! He was muttering to himself, Esme just sitting there on the sofa looking at him as if he was over reacting. The man was a doctor! He was paid to compose himself. Whatever it was...it was bad.

"Good you're home!" Carlisle boomed once noticing us.

"Dad..." Edward began, his arm wrapped firmly round my waist "What's going on? Has something happened?"

"Yes!" He cried, sobbing a little "The gates of hell have opened!"

I turned to look at Esme, who simply rolled her eyes and smirked a little.

"I...I was making phone calls about your mothers condition..." Carlisle stuttered "And, when I came to the last call...Oh I can't even say it! It's just _too _horrible!"

"Oh for crying out loud!" Edward snapped "Be a man and grow a pair!"

"Edward...I received some news during that phone call that you're not going to like..."  
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**A/N: Oooh! So, who do you think was on the phone, and what is this terrifying news? I KNOW! lol. Please R&R and tell me what you think :o)**

**Take Care **


	31. Get Her Name Tattooed On Your Butt!

**A/N: Wow guys. Thanks for all the reviews. Erm...I can't believe the amount of people that thought that Esme was having twins or triplets. I can safely say though, that no, Esme (Like Bella) Is only having ONE baby, unless it becomes popular demand. I just thought that two new babies would be enough to drive anyone bonkers. lol. Hope you all like this chapter. I had fun writing it :o)**

**I'm sorry for the delay. I've been very busy. Right now life is a little hectic, so I'm trying to update as much as possible. That's why my other stories aren't getting updates just now. If I updated them too, this one would take even longer to get up! lol.**

**Enjoy :o)**

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_**Edward's POV**_

I stood staring at my father, who had been pacing in front of Bella and I for the last five minutes. C'mon...it couldn't be that bad. What could be so terrible that it made my father look like he was about to pee his pants? My mother was further along than expected? He had been called away for a conference for a few weeks? Seriously...it couldn't be that bad...right? I must admit though, with each passing minute my anxiety increased. Glancing at Bella as if she held the answer, I gave her a confused look, only to have her shrug at me as if to say '_How the hell should I know?_'. Turning back to my Dad, who was still pacing, running his hands through his hair as he muttered something that I'm not actually sure was in English, I couldn't help but roll my eyes.

"Dad! C'mon!" I cried, ushering him to spit it out "What the hell has happened!? I doubt it can be that bad."

"I called your Grandmother."

Ok. Rewind and freeze! Grandmother! He called my Gran...How the hell do people see _me _as the stupid one in this family!?

"Dad..." I said with wide eyes while stepping back "...Please. Say you didn't!"

"He did." I heard my mother call from the couch in a sing-song voice, while she turned the page of a book she was reading "Your _brilliant _father here decided that it would be a _great _idea to tell his Mother that yet another little Cullen was due...He just didn't expect her to announce that she would come and stay for a month to 'help out'."

"WHAT!?" Bella and I cried at the same time.

"Then why the hell do you look so happy!?" I asked my Mom "You hate the old Bitch as much as the rest of us!"

"Edward, watch your mouth." She scolded, closing her book and sitting it on the coffee table.

"The reason that your Mom is so 'happy'..." My father began, obviously a little pissed by something "Is because she's decided that it would be a _great _idea if she goes and visits _her_ Mother for a while...It's not fair!"

At any other time, I probably would have laughed at the sight of my Dad acting like a three year old, but this was a serious situation.

"Then why is she coming when Mom isn't even going to be here!" I cried "C'mon, did you ever think that maybe she's doing this out of spite!? To piss you off!? There's no need for her to actually be here."

"I tried telling her that!" My Father sighed "But all she said was _'Carlisle, I'm your Mother, end of.'_."

Groaning I collapsed onto the sofa, dragging Bella down with me.

"Well you should have been more persistent!" I yelled "Hell, I'm probably the most persistent person you'll find! I would think after 16 years you would have clicked to that!"

"We all know that Edward, and I tried too." My Father began "But she scares me."

"Whens she coming?" I asked, dreading the answer.

"Next week." My Dad confirmed.

"Great!" I smiled, confusing everyone a little "That's plenty of time to sell the house and move! I heard Canada is _very_ nice this time of year...Australia too!"

"Edward we are not moving." My Mom stated.

"Aw Mom please." I begged.

"Yeah Mom, please." My Dad copied.

"Nope." She smiled, standing up "Time to man up boys. Cause it's going to be a long month."

I _really _hate my Mom right now.  
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_**Bella's POV**_

Well, to say that that week flew by would be an understatement. I basically blinked and the day of Granny's return had arrived, much to everyone's annoyance...well, everyone but Esme who had left for Texas to see her Mom the previous day. Lucky pregnant bitch! Edward and I begged her to take us with her, but nope. She thought that Carlisle may need some people around to keep him sane...Well, she chose the wrong people for the job. With Edward's constant whining, I was almost positive that I would lose my marbles before the good doctor.

It was Saturday, the day that our lives would be made miserable, and Edward and I were sitting in the living room, Rose, Emmett, Jasper and Alice too. We were watching re-runs of Scrubs, Alice and Jasper talking quietly amongst themselves as Rose and Emmett decided to have a full blown make-out session.

"I love you." Rosalie murmured with a lazy smile before kissing Emmett once more.

"Hmm..." Emmett smiled, pulling back "Not as much as I love you..."

They kissed again.

"Not possible." Rosalie mumbled.

"Ugh..." Edward scoffed, turning the volume up on the TV "Do you two mind swapping spit somewhere else?"

"Well excuse us for wanting to express our love for each other." Rose scoffed.

"Yeah." Emmett piped in "I'm sorry guys, but would it kill you to show a little public display of affection. I mean, no offense Bella, but if you weren't walking around with Edward's spawn inside of you, lots of people wouldn't even believe that you had moved past the 'friend' stage."

Really. Was mine and Edward's love life that...dull. Did it look like we were just friends? After everything that the two of us had been through lately, I couldn't picture him as ever just being my friend. I felt as if we had always been together. Sure...maybe we aren't as public about our relationship as Rosalie and Emmett are...I mean those two did it on top of a car hood during a period of mechanics. The most 'wild' place Edward and I had done it was probably his bed. But hey! We did it at the _foot _of the bed. It's so much different down there...Am I convincing you guys yet? OK, ok...so maybe we need to...spice things up a little. Ugh, I can't believe I said that. I'm only 18 for crying out loud. It sounds like Edward and I have been married for 12 years. Didn't the skinny dipping mean anything!?

"C'mon..." Edward chuckled nervously "We...we're not that bad...we kiss. We hold hands...we...we...Bells help me out here..."

"We...Gaze at each other lovingly!" I said proudly, pointing at Emmett and Rose.

"Whoopdie-fucking-doo..." Rosalie stated, before turning her attention away from my love life "Anyway, I'm going to go shopping for some stuff...Bells, Alice, wanna come?"

Why not. Maybe I could get some tips on romance from Rosalie. Ugh. I never thought I'd have to say that.  
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_**Edward's POV**_

The girls left soon after our little talk, leaving me sitting with Emmett and Jasper as we waited for the arrival of my Gran. But for some reason, the old bitch wasn't what I was concerned about most. Did people really see Bella and I like that? I had always thought that we expressed ourselves perfectly. I mean we knew that we loved each other. That should be enough, right? But what if Bella thinks that I don't love her like that? What if she thinks I'm a lousy boyfriend who just likes sex. I mean I _love _the sex, but do is it come across that it's all I care about? Man I need help, and I can't believe I'm about to stoop this low. I need to get relationship advice from...Emmett and Jasper.

After lunch, we sat up in my room, hoping to keep out of the way of my Gran. She had arrived about half an hour after the girls left, and after yelling at me for not combing my hair (Like I ever do), tutting at the 'state' of the house and nearly making my father cry, she left just as quickly to go grocery shopping, giving us guys some time to think about how I could show Bella that I truly loved her.

"Get her name tattooed on your butt." Emmett suggested, never looking up from his PSP.

"Yeah, cause nothing say's 'I love you' more than her name on my ass cheeks." I replied sarcastically "Next option."

"Romantic dinner?" Jasper questioned.

"Nah." I began "Too...expected."

"Friendship ring." Emmett began.

"That is so Buffy/Angel type stuff." I answered "Plus, I'm trying show her that I see her as my lover, not my friend."

"Face it Edward." Jasper began "When it comes to romance...you suck. The best you could do for Bella is just be there for her."

Then it hit me. Something that I could give Bella that no one else could, that would prove I loved her. All I needed was a big box, some nice wrapping paper and a red pair of boxers.

**~*Twilight*~**

"Are you sure about this?" Emmett asked me, looking at me as if I had lost the plot "I mean, with your luck this will go horribly wrong. You'll end up hurt, embarrassed or both. Bella will get mad, scream at you then make up with your dumb ass within the hour, Charlie will be called to the scene when your little stunt goes wrong as well, and Carlisle will have you committed...Should I be concerned that that seems like normality for you?"

"Jeez Em. Big words for you." I looked at him in disbelief "Have you been reading the dictionary again? How many times do I have to tell you, it's not a story book."

Jasper laughed, Emmett blushing a little as I climbed into the large box that sat in the outside my front door, perfectly wrapped in pink paper with red love hearts that had been left over at Valentines Day. This was a perfect idea. Mailing myself to Bella! It's genius. Sure, it's cheesy, and I would never in a million years do something like this for someone, but I know she loves the cheese element in romance. She's the only person I would embarrass myself for...actually, I do it all the time.

Clad in only my red boxers, I crouched down in the large box, looking up at my friends with a smile.

"Ok, so the delivery truck is on it's way." Jasper began "They'll drive around, finish off their delivers before driving back here. By that time, Bella should be home and she can receive the...'gift'. You kiss, say you love her blah, blah, blah, your in the good books and we never comment on your love life again."

"Sounds great." I began, just as the delivery van came into view "Time to close her on up boys. See you soon."

And with that, everything became dark. Boy, I sure hope Jasper's thoughts on this are more accurate than Emmett's.  
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_**Bella's POV**_

Shopping had been fun. Rose had given me some tips on what I could do to spice up my love life, resulting in Alice shoving me into a lingerie shop and forcing me to buy a very sexy looking white maternity babydoll with silver sequence round the boob area. Something that was quite expensive which was only going to be on for a matter of minutes before being ripped off. I swear, with what I just paid for that, if Edward so much as tears the seam I'll kill him.

"Wow." Alice said excitedly "When Edward see's you in this, he'll die! You looked so good when you tried it on."

"Alice, it was mortifying!" I exclaimed "I wouldn't even buy something like that when I wasn't pregnant!"

"Hey!" Rose began from behind the wheel "Kids make you do crazy things. I doubt you'll be complaining about it later tonight though."

They obviously don't know how often Edward and I have sex. They're talking like we're going through a dry spell!

"Yeah, yeah...Just drive." I mumbled.  
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_**Edward's POV**_

Whoa. This box gets hot after a while. Even just in my underwear I could feel the temperature rising. You're probably all wondering how I managed to pull this off so quickly. Truth is my Dad is close friends with the local delivery guy, so he didn't have a problem with helping out in my little plan. I just hoped that it went well. We drove around town for what felt like hours, but was probably only about 20 minutes before I felt the van come to a stop. I waited until I heard the rumble of the doors open, and before I knew it, the box was hoisted onto the gurny and I was being pushed up the path of my house.

I sat quietly, waiting for the sound of my Angel, but instead, all I heard was muffled voices, unable to figure out if it was Bella or not who answered the door. The next thing I knew though, was being pushed into the house and sat in what I assumed to be the hallway. Now all I had to do was wait. Fun.

I expected to wait for hours, but I was wrong. As soon as I heard the door click shut, the paper on the box began to get ripped off. I couldn't help but smile, excited about the reaction I would get. I could just picture it now, jumping up and shouting 'Bella Swan, I love you!'. She'd look shocked at first, a smile spreading across her face before she dived at me, wrapping her arms around my neck and kissing me. This couldn't go wrong.

My smile grew wider when the lid of the box was lifted at the side a little. So before Bella could rip it off any more, I jumped up, bursting through the cardboard withe the same smile.

"Bella Swan, I love you!" I cried.

"AHHHHHH!" A scream, that wasn't supposed to happen.

Looking down at Bella, I couldn't help but scream myself, covering my boxers with my hands when I realised that I wasn't coming face to face withe Bella...but my GRANDMOTHER! Ewww! My Gran continued screaming, stepping backwards while clutching at her chest. She grabbed the phone from the hall table, launching it at me while looking for more things to throw. C'mon, I didn't mean to scare her. She shouldn't have opened the damn box!

"Gran, calm down!" I exclaimed, trying to get out the box, only to trip and fall.

But she didn't calm down. Instead, she continued to scream, objects flying at me in all directions. And then I heard it. THUMP...then silence.

"Oh shit no!" I said wide eyed.

**~*Twilight*~**

"Does that classify as murder?" I asked, looking off into space as the paramedics wheeled out the body of my Grandmother.

"No Sweetie." Bella cooed standing behind me with her arms wrapped round my torso, her chin resting on my shoulder as Rose and Alice each held one of my hands.

"Dude..." Emmett boomed "I can't believe you can actually scare someone to death."

Shit. Neither did I...All I wanted to do was surprise Bella. In the end I scare the living hell out of my Gran, cause her to have a heart attack and kick the bucket. There's a story for the kids. I mean, I couldn't stand her...But I didn't want to see her die exactly. I continued to sit there, staring off into space as my Dad walked out into the hall.

"I just called your Grandfather." He announced "He wants to start arranging everything straight away."

"Ok." I stated simply "Hey Dad...I'm grounded aren't I?"

"Oh son..." My Dad said with a soft smile "Mailing yourself to the house...you bet your ass you are."

I hate it when Emmett's right.  
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**A/N: So what did you think? lol, I had been planning the death of PMS Granny since I first introduced her. This was basically a filler chapter. Don't worry, this story isn't all of a sudden becoming a drama. The next chapter should be better. Please R&R. Thanks :o)**

**The link to Bella's babydoll is in my profile :o)**


	32. Grand Theft Auto At A Funeral? NICE!

**A/N: Wow guys! Thank you so much for all the feedback for the last chapter. I thought I would get a mixed response to the death of our beloved PMS Granny, but all of you seemed to be happy with the idea. lol. Death isn't something that I would joke about at all, but I just had to put it into the story. lol. Thanks again. Also, sorry for the delay. Internet decided to make life boring and stop working! Grrr!**

**Onto a more serious note, I got a review asking that Esme have a miss-carriage, that way she is but isn't pregnant. The answer is no. Miss-carriage's are something that I can't joke about. A lot of my family members, including my Mum have had one. I could never write that.**

**Wow! This story got nominated for 'Best Comedy' in the Immortal Cookie contest! Thank you so much to whoever nominated me :o)**

**BTW the link for the babydoll is now working :o)**

**I've been really sick lately and could concentrate, so hopefully you'll understand if it sucks.**

**Enjoy :o)  
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_**Edwards POV**_

The week after my dear old Grandma's death had been long an tiring, but 'amazingly' we all seemed to be taking the loss of the...wonderful (Ugh) woman quite well. You're probably wondering why in that sentence I didn't refer to her as Bat, Hag, Bitch, or Satan. Believe me, it took all my self control not to. The only reason I didn't was because my Dad made a deal with me. Be nice about her and I'll be ungrounded. Sounded easy enough at first, but believe me, it was probably one of the most difficult things I have ever encountered.

Now when I said that everyone had been taking the news well, I meant _everyone._Including my Grandpa Jim, who I swear I saw throw his walking stick up in the air and attempt to dance while singing - badly I might add. I don't think I had ever seen him look so...happy? I could only wonder how bad living with her actually was? I mean, all I had been subjected to was visits. I don't even want to imagine what living with her permanently would be like.

"So..." My Dad had asked a few days before the funeral "What songs do you want played at the funeral, and no Edward! '_Celebrate Good Times_'will not be one of them."

I closed my mouth as quick as it had opened. Sometimes I think my Dad is a mind reader, you know that.

"Would '_Ding Dong The Witch Is Dead_' be a better choice?" I had asked, receiving a glare from my Dad, but a slight chuckle from my Grandfather and Bella.

Hey, if I was being forced into helping arrange this thing, I was going to at least have a little bit of fun whilst doing it. You'd think that grounding me would be punishment enough for mailing myself to the house (although I didn't really see anything terribly bad in it), but my Dad decided he would go the extra mile and add this to the list! My Gran being dead was almost as annoying as her being alive...Almost.

When the day of the funeral finally rolled along, I couldn't help but grumble. Not only was I being subjected to attending, where I was bound to see James again, but it was pouring with rain as well. Not something that I was looking forward to standing in when at the graveside. My Dad had suggested to my Cramp's that he get My Grans body shipped over to Jerusalem, a place where she loved to visit three times every year, and have her buried there, but I was quick to change his mind. All I had to say was that thousands of years ago, the most amazing man to walk on Earth died there, but three days later rose from the dead...Did we really want to take the risk of that happening with her!? So Forks it was.

I buired my hands deep into my pockets, grumbling as the rain began to pour more and more. Why was it that _I_had to stand outside and greet everyone as they entered the church for the service!? Seriously. I want my Mom to come home soon. Carlisle's punishments were strange and cruel. At least I wasn't alone though. Bella stood by my side, holding an umbrella over our heads to keep us dry, Jasper, Emmett, Rose and Alice doing the same only a few feet away. Now that's what I call friendship. They didn't even have to come to this thing.

"When they bringing the coffin in?" Emmett asked as more and more people filed into the church, causing many of them to gasp in horror.

Jeez Em, you sure do pick your moments to ask awkward questions.

"Probably a few minutes after the service begins." I grumbled "The damn hearse hasn't even shown up yet. We're freezing our asses off here!"

Not a secret that I wasn't the happiest person in the world right about now. The only good thing about today was that James couldn't make it. Something about being a little sick. Yeah right. Now I don't know what Septic Shock is, but it can't be that bad. Right?

We continued to stand there in the rain, the church completely full, but still we had to wait to see if anyone else showed up. I couldn't help but sigh in relief though when the hearse appeared. Time to get this show on the road. Emmett, Jasper and I headed towards the black car as it came to a stop, hoping to give the driver a hand at...unloading. Jasper grabbed a nicely decorated gurney type thing that the coffin would sit on as it was wheeled into the church.

"So..." The driver of the hearse began, trying to make conversation "You boys do this often? I don't think I've ever seen you around."

"That's because we don't work here." Emmett began "We're just helping out...sorta..."

The driver went to speak once more, but stopped when his pager went off. Seriously. A hearse driver needs a pager?

"Oh crap!" He cried, looking at it "I gotta go guys! My wife's having the baby now! You can finish off here, right?"

HUH!?

"What!?" Jasper cried "You can't just leave us here with...this!?"

But he was gone before Jasper could even finish, leaving us standing outside the church with my dead Grandma. This has got 'Trouble' written all over it.  
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_**Bella's POV**_

Oh my gosh! The driver just up and left on us! What the hell do we do now!? Do we take the casket into the church, wheel her on up to the front before taking our seats and 'mourn', or do we stand out her like a group of idiots, waiting for someone to realise that they're missing a very big thing at a funeral. THE BODY! Ok, just stay calm Bella. It's not the end of the world. You just have the fate of an old wrinkly _dead _person in your hands. Ugh, my kids going to need a therapist by the time they're three! Rose, Alice and I headed over to the guys, who I'll admit were keeping a safe distance from the white box containing PMS Granny.

"What do we do!?" Alice asked, very worried.

I couldn't help but notice how pale she was. Paler than usual.

"...Open it up." Emmett said.

Say what now!?

"Emmett!" Jasper bellowed "Have some respect for the dead, man."

"How do you even know that it's her though!?" Emmett asked "I mean, maybe they accidentally mixed up the bodies. You may think it's your gran, but really it could be a big fat guy with back hair. Now how would the rest of your family feel if they saw that!?"

"Emmett, we're not even having an open casket!" Edward cried.

I continued to watch as Edward and Emmett began a small argument. I just couldn't believe that it was over opening up a coffin to see a dead person! I sighed when I realised that they were no where near solving their dispute...but that's when it happened. My eyes went wide, all colour draining from my face. Oh shit no!

"Uh...Edward Babe..." I began, bringing his attention away from Emmett.

"What!? What Bells, what is it!?" He asked frantically "Is it the baby? Are you Ok!?"

"Oh I'm fine." I said, looking down the hill that led away from the church "You got a little problem though."

At this I pointed down the hill. Oh boy, I hope Edward doesn't have a weak heart. Confused, Edward turned away from me to see what he was pointing at...His Grandma's coffin still sitting on the gurney, only traveling down the hill at about 50 miles and hour.

"FUCK!" Edward shouted before running after it, quickly followed by Emmett and Jasper.

"Do you think they'll catch it?" Alice asked.

"Oh, not a chance." Rose answered, fighting back a laugh "Doesn't mean we can't sit and watch though."  
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_**Edward's POV**_

"Someone stop that coffin!" I cried, pointing at my Grandma's speeding casket as I tried to follow.

Now there's something I thought I would scream in the middle of the road! Horns were blaring, cars skidding out the way to dodge my Grandma, me, Jazz and Em.

"Edward..." Jasper puffed, slowing down "We're never going to catch it like this."

We all stopped running, probably something that shouldn't be done in the middle of the road. What the hell am I supposed to do now!? Running my hand through my hair, I looked around, more cars honking at us. And then the idea came to me....Now kids, don't do this...ever. Sighing, I built up enough courage and stepped out in front of the next passing car. The horns blared and the tires screeched, but thankfully it stopped.

"Edward!" Jasper cried "What the fuck dude!?"

But I didn't answer. Instead, I ran round to the drivers side, opening the door to find a rather frightened looking man.

"I need to borrow your car sir." I said as the man shakily undid his seat belt, only to have me pull him out the car.

Jasper and Emmett ran round the back, climbing in.

"Edward!" Emmett bellowed as I took off after the coffin once more "Grand theft auto at a funeral...NICE!"

Ok, not really the reaction I was expecting. I ignored all comments the two made as I got closer and closer to the coffin. Who the hell would build a Church on the top of the biggest hill around for miles anyway! I'm mean it plain stupidity.

"Wait!" Jasper finally cried in realisation "We caught up with it...how the hell are we going to get the thing to stop?"

Damn. My eyes went wide when I heard this. But before I could even suggest anything, the casket came to a stop...crashing into none other than my car. I new I shouldn't have parked at the bottom of the hill. I came to a stop, starring at sight of my Grandmothers coffin hanging out of my Volvo. The whole thing had come off the gurney on impact and went straight through the backseat window of my car. Jasper Emmett and I got out the 'borrowed' car and slowly walked up to the Volvo. I couldn't say anything.

"Edward...breathe." Emmett began "It's not as bad as it looks."

Yeah. Not at all. All I have is a huge dent down one side of my car, a few broken windows and a dead person inside.

"But hey look on the bright side..." My burly friend carried on "Least it stopped."

Oh, he's coming so closed to being in pain.  
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**A/N: Ok guys. So this is my least favorite chapter so far. I just couldn't get what I wanted to say out right. But I hope you enjoyed it. Please R&R and tell me what you think. Thanks :o)**


	33. AUTHORS NOTE 2!

**Hi guys. **

**Sorry this isn't a new chapter, but I have some good news!**

**I'm holding a contest for THIS fic on YouTube!**

**Please check it out and enter, I think you'll like the prizes :o)**

**Don't worry the next chapter will be up VERY soon. It's nearly finished :o)**

**You can find the link to the contest on my profile.**

**Good Luck!**


	34. I Expect A LOT Of Reward Sex For This!

**A/N: Aw thanks guys for all the great reviews. And thank you for checking out my new competition for this fic, and for entering. There's still loads of time left if you want to have a shot at it :o)**

**Sorry if this is bad guys, I have a concussion, which is kinda the reason for the delay. Believe me. I'm a lot like **_**my**_**Edward when it comes down to clumsiness and getting into trouble. I'm the only Kid I know who's ended up in hospital twice in one day for TWO different things, and for playing a board game. lol. (If You want to know, just ask. lol)**

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_**Edward's POV**_

"I can't begin to say how sorry I am about everything that happened the other day." I began, staring at her with sad eyes "Some how...an apology just won't cut it. Everything that could have went wrong did, and I'm so _so _sorry about that. It actually pains me to look at you right now, because I know it's all my fault." She just stared back at me as I continued with my apology "I just...wish I could turn back time and prevent what happened from happening. I don't think I'll ever forgive myself for what happened..."

"Edward..." Bella said, her arms crossed over her chest as she gave me an amused smirk "Stop talking to the car."

"Bella!" I exclaimed, turning away from my beat up Volvo to look at my girlfriend "Don't call Claudia a..._car_! She'll hear you!"

"Oh in the name of..." Bella muttered, her hand flying to her forehead.

It had been 4 days since my Grandmother's funeral, and let me tell you something. Those four days had been the hardest of my life. Every morning I would wake up early and head down to the garage, hoping that the sight of my Grandmother's coffin sticking out of my car's window had all been a bad dream...but it wasn't. Every time I looked at her my breathing became ragged. The whole right side of my precious Volvo was dented, the windows smashed. She looked like she had just come back from a drag race gone wrong!

Stepping back to stand next to Bella, I winced at the sight. She looked even worse from a distance.

"Ugh..." I whined, my arms flapping a little "This is a disaster!"

"Oh Edward, stop being a baby." Bella chuckled a little "If it weren't for the fact that _I_ have the ever growing bump and you have a penis, people would think you're the one who was pregnant with all the whining you do. It's not as bad as it looks. I promise."

"Not as bad as it looks!?" I exclaimed, marching over to the car "Exhibit A, Bella."

I grabbed the handle and opened the car, only to have my battered door come clean away from the car! Holy hell, all I thought it would do is creak a little. Maybe stick, but not fall off! Ugh, this is just another thing that my parents were going to go ape shit at. Obviously Dad didn't take to kindly to the fact that his mother decided to make a break from her own funeral at about 50 miles per hour, but thankfully the hearse driver got more blame than me, so that was a plus. My Grandpa Jim found the whole thing quite amusing, until I told him to fork up the money to pay for my car.

"Wow." Bella said with a shocked expression "How fast was she travelin' down that hill to take a door off!?"

I sighed, running my hands through my hair. Not only was my car completely ruined, but I had to call in the help of someone that I _really _didn't want to see...Jacob Black. Now, I don't like the guy, but when it came down to cars, the boy knew his shit.

"So what you gonna do?" Bella asked walking up to me, running her hand up and down my arm in a comforting manner.

"Jake's coming down." I informed "Called him last night when you were sleeping."

I was expecting her to jump for joy, clap her hands. Basically do the whole 'Alice Routine'...but instead, Bella's hand fell from my arm, hanging limply at her side as she stared at me with wide eyes. What colour she had in her cheeks quickly vanished, and if it wasn't the rapid rising and falling of her chest, I would have thought she had actually died of fright. I'd be screwed then. 2 people in under two weeks.

"Uh...Bella...Babe..." I began with a slight smirk "You...you alright?"

"Jake?" She questioned, turning to look at me "As in Jacob...as in Jacob Black...as in Jacob Black from La Push? THAT JACOB!?"

"How many Jacob's do you _know_?" I asked, a little amused.

I was about to laugh at her expression, but was cut short when she grabbed me by the front of my shirt and pulled me down to eye level, our foreheads touching.

"Call him!" She screeched "Call him, and tell him he can't come over...Tell him you'll fix the car!"

"Bella...could you please...let go of my nipples and tell me what the hell is going on?" I winced, slowly pulling away from her.

Hey, she's small, but she's strong with sharp nails.

"I thought you of all people would be happy to see Jake!" I said, slightly concerned now "Why don't you want him coming over?"

"Ok..." She sighed "Don't get mad...but there is an ever so small, tiny, iddy biddy, _baby _chance that Jacob doesn't really know about...the baby yet."

She gave a sheepish smile, and all I could do was give her a questioning look.

"How did you come to that conclusion?" I asked with a slight chuckle.

"Because I haven't told him yet." She replied quietly.

"Excuse me, what now?" I asked, not sure if I caught her "Did you just say that you hadn't quite _told_ him yet?"

"...Technically."

I knew it! I knew it! I knew there was some weird reason that I was still alive! How could I be so blind!? If Jacob had found out that I had knocked up one of his Best Friends, he would have dragged me out of the house, killed me and made it look like an accident! I ran my hands through my hair, giving a shaky sigh. Now I'm not frightened of a lot of people, and Jacob isn't one of them, but _damn_...that guy can punch! I learned that the hard way. Just to let all you guys know, never, and I repeat, _never _volunteer to let Jacob Black use you as an 'assistant' when showing someone self defense moves. I goes horribly wrong, and you end up in hospital with a concussion.

"Bella!" I finally cried "You're four months along! Did it ever occur to you that...hmmm...I don't know, maybe...YOU SHOULD TELL HIM!?"

"Would it help if I said 'Oops'?" She asked, trying to give a small smile, but I wasn't having it "Ok, Ok! I'm sorry! I was going to tell him...eventually...Why's it such a big deal?"

"Why's it such a big deal!?" I mimicked, only about ten times louder "It's a big deal because the guy can inflict pain by just looking at someone!"

"Hey!" Bella cut in, pointing at me "That was one time! How was Jake supposed to know that glaring at Tyler Crowley would result in him riding his bike down a hill and head first into a bee hive!?"

Ugh! Was I ever going to get this through to her. My mind was buzzing. What the hell are we supposed to do? I mean, it's none of Jake's business, but he has a right to know like everyone else.

"Whens he due to arrive?" Bella carried on, sighing slightly.

I glanced down at my watch.

"In about the next..." But I was cut off when the garage door knocked "Now."

Ok, time to suck it up. I need to show him that his freakishly large size and the fact that his fists are like basketballs don't bother me. I also can't be frightened that there is a very high chance that I could lose my nuts today. Who knew pregnancy could be so life threatening?  
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_**Bella's POV**_

I couldn't help but panic when Edward announced that Jacob was coming over. I mean, shouldn't he run these things by me!? Ok, probably not...and maybe I _should _have said something to the guy. Give him a little insight as to what was going on. Now I was being forced to tell him in the middle of a garage...In the middle of a garage that had a _lot _of sharp pointy tools. Ok, just keep calm Bella. Just tell him the second he walks through that door. Like ripping off a band aid...although those SOB's hurt like hell. Don't worry. He would never hurt you. You're his friend, _and _you're pregnant! But poor Edward can't use either of those excuses. Oh my gosh, it's like telling Charlie all over again.

"You tell him!" I practically begged my boyfriend, hoping that he would be my knight in shining armour and come to the rescue.

"And have him rip my balls from me!?" He exclaimed "No thank you. I quite like that region, and would love it even more if it didn't become permanently detached!"

Ugh, so much for my knight! Edward walked closer to the garage door, me following close behind in an attempt to stop him.

"But you did this to me!" I whined, pointing to my bump.

I wonder how many times I can use this excuse against him?

"Which means my three minutes are up!" Edward replied smugly, crossing his arms over his chest "Bells, I told Charlie, my parents and my Grandmother..."

"But I didn't _ask_ you to tell her!" I said wide eyed, my hands flying to my hips "You owe me for that one."

The nervous look that crossed Edward's face was enough to tell me that he knew I was right. Ha! I had him! Gulping a little, he turned completely to face me, running his fingers through his hair. He's been doing that a lot today. I stood with my arms crossed over my chest, trying hard to fight back a smirk that was threatening to show itself. I almost jumped for joy when I heard that familiar sigh of defeat.

"I expect _a lot _of reward sex for this." He muttered.

I just chuckled, walking closely behind Edward as he made his way to the garage door, but suddenly came to a stop when he quickly turned back to face me.

"Just do me a favour before you hand me my death sentence..." He began "...Hide."

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_**Edward's POV**_

I quickly ushered Bella out of the garage and into the kitchen before letting Jacob in. Holy Crap, he's bigger than I remembered! This whole situation has gotten 'Wrong' written all over it. I can just picture how this day will end. Jacob in handcuffs, and me in a body bag. The minute Jacob's eyes landed on my precious Volvo, he burst out laughing, causing all the fear that had been building up to fade and be replaced by anger. Why does everyone always laugh when they see my car!

"So what exactly happened?" Jake asked with a smirk, nudging the bumper with his foot, only to have it fall to the floor with a clang.

"Stupid Grandmother tried to make a run for it at her own funeral." I muttered, clenching my fists when he laughed once more "Is she fixable?"

"Dude..." Jacob began, looking up from the car "With the amount of cars that you've ruined and I've had to fix, this should be easy...but it's going to take a while."

"How long is 'a while'?" I asked, a little alarmed now.

"...'Bout a month...two tops."

"Two months!?" I exclaimed "I'll have no car for two months!? That's bullshit!"

"Well next time if you put the breaks on Granny you might not have this problem." He shot back "Plus, I'd give you a car during that time. Help you out a little."

"Why would you help me out?" I asked, sitting on the edge of the desk that sat against the wall "You hate me and it's no secret. Does it have anything to do with the fact that I'm dating our best friend?"

"Dude, you need to let this go." Jacob sighed "Nothings going to happen. She chose who she wanted. End of story."

It went silent for a while as Jacob looked round the car, eventually checking the engine. Sighing, I figured that now would be the best time to tell Jake the news about Bella and the baby. I just wanted to get it over and done with so we could move right past the 'screaming at me' part to the 'I'm going to fucking kill you' part. Nervously, I stood up from the desk, slowly making my way over to Jake who was humming happily.

"Hey Jake..." I began quietly.

"Yeah?" He replied, never looking up from the engine.

"What would you do if I told you one of our friends was...pregnant?" I began, causing him to look up "Would you get mad at the guy who did it to her?"

"Depends on what friend..." He replied slowly, standing up straighter until he was towering over me "Why? Who's pregnant?"

Tell him...Just get it over with...

"Promise you won't get mad?" I asked.

"I promise."

"Ok...Here it goes..."  
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_**Bella's POV**_

I sat in the kitchen with a glass against the door that led to the garage, hoping to hear every word that was spoken, but of course I could hear nothing. Groaning in frustration I sat the glass down, crossing my arms over my chest as I waited and waited. He should have told him by now. What the hell was taking him so long? I was just about to give up all hope of Edward actually breaking the news to Jacob until I heard a loud crash. Bingo! He's told him...which mean's I should probably get in there and save his ass...Should I be frightened?

Quickly finding my feet, I burst through the door, my eyes going wide at what I saw. No Effing Way! There, lying in the middle of the floor, was not Edward...but Jacob, passed out with an even more shocked looking Edward standing mere feet away.

"I swear I didn't hit him!" Edward quickly defended "I told him about the baby and instead of hitting me...he just...fell! I blinked and he was down! I didn't even have enough time to shout 'Timber!'."

A little shocked, I rushed over to Jacob's side, kneeling down next to him as did Edward.

"Jake..." I said, brushing his long hair out of his face "C'mon Jake, time to get up."

I jumped when his eyes flew opened, but instead of sitting up like I thought he would, he lunged at Edward, grabbing him by the front of his shirt and pinning him to the floor. Now _that's _the reaction I was looking for!

"You promised you wouldn't get mad!" Edward cried, his voice about 8 octaves higher.

"You have three seconds to tell me why I shouldn't kill you!" Jacob fumed.

"Ok...One, you'd go to jail...two, it would hurt...and three...You should do the Christian thing!" Edward replied in a shaky voice.

"I'm Jewish." Jacob stated sternly.

Ok, I've had enough of this.

"That's it!" I roared, causing both boys to look up at me in shock horror, Jacob quickly getting off of Edward "I've had it with you two constantly fighting and arguing. Yes Jacob, I'm pregnant and Edward is the Dad. Deal with it. And Edward it would be nice every once in a while, if you would act like a man and not a child! And-..."

But I was cut off, my hand flying to my stomach, causing both boys to rush to my side quickly, Edward wrapping an arm around me.

"Are you Ok?" He asked, even more panicked than he was at the funeral "What's wrong Bells!?"

"The baby..." I said, a large smile splaying across my face "The baby...it's kicking for the first time!"

At the news, both Jacob and Edward's hands flew to my stomach, Edward slapping Jacob's away a little. I laughed a little when I felt the baby kick again, Edward joining in. This was the most amazing feeling ever. Looking at Edward, who had a smile bigger than the Cheshire Cat's, I couldn't help but feel tears form. This was probably the best moment of my life. Laughing slightly, Pulled Edward in for a kiss.

"That's our baby." He whispered, kissing me once again.

"Yeah..." I whispered back, placing my hand over his as my bump nudged under them once again "Our baby."  
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**A/N: So...what'd ya think? Hate it? Like It? Love it? Please R&R and let me know :o)**

**Oh, and I know Jacob isn't Jewish. I just thought that it sounded good in that little sentence. lol. R&R :o)**


	35. Why Couldn't You Have Gotten Us A Fish?

**A/N: Hey guys. Thank you so much for all those wonderful reviews, and for the Get Well Soon wishes. I'm feeling much better. Told you all that I was **_**extremely**_**clumsy...Like a real life Twilight Bella I was told. Lol. It was fun hearing all your past experiences too :o)**

**Anyway, I hope you all like this chapter, and I have been getting some reviews about Edward and Bella's school life...or lack of it. lol. The truth is, I haven't forgotten about it, I just haven't been writing much on it. I'll hopefully fix that soon :o)**

**Also, this fic got nominated for another award! Woo-hoo! lol. It's been nominated for **_**Stephaniiie's '**_**Twilight All Human Fanfiction Awards' for Best Comedy. So if you guys want to nominate more of your favorite Twilight fic's, you can find the link to the site on her profile :o) Thank you to whoever nominated me :o)**

**Enjoy :o)  
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_**Edward's POV**_

There are certain times in a mans life where he sits back and wonders...'What the hell did I do to my girlfriend to deserve such punishment?'. Well I can tell you, that time for me is now. It had been a few days since I had told Jacob about the baby, and thankfully once everything had calmed down, he didn't hit me...that didn't mean he didn't want to though. The baby had been kicking non stop, which was sort of a wake up call to me. Feeling the kicking made it so real, like it was really starting to hit me. I'm going to be a father. That's my kid in there. Only five more months and my whole life will change...I'm scared shitless. Things between Bella and I had been great though...or so I thought until this afternoon when she came running into my kitchen with that scary smile she has when she gets an 'amazing' idea.

Let me go back to earlier this morning so you guys can get the full story...

"Ugh...do you really think this is such a good idea?" Emmett asked as I continued to scour round the kitchen, grabbing the tomato sauce and orange juice "I mean...You know how Bella get's these days if anyone touches her food...Jasper found that out the hard way. Remember when he stole one of her grapes!?"

"Yeah!" I laughed, pouring some of the juice into the smoothie maker, followed by the sauce "You wouldn't stop crying for half an hour."

"I wasn't crying." Jasper replied through gritted teeth "I...I had something in my eye."

"Yes, because your stutter made that excuse _very _convincing." I said through my smile before turning back to my other friend "Look Emmett, Bella can't get mad this time. What we're doing is in the name of science."

"Trying to find a disgusting smoothie that will actually make Emmett throw up is not science, Edward." Jasper spoke "It's stupidity."

"Same difference." I muttered, adding half an onion to the batch "Ok, I think that should do us. Now, with just the flick of a switch."

"Dude!" Jasper cried, grabbing my wrist before I could push the button "Lid! I mean, I know you're no Einstein, but I'm trying to credit you with some intelligence here!"

"Oh yeah." I mumbled, searching around for the lid, finding it buired under a bag of chips.

Smiling, I fixed the lid to the the smoothie maker, but when I fliped the switch, instead of the loud whirring sound that we had expected to hear...nothing happened. Huh. A little confused, I tapped the side of the smoothie maker, taking off the lid to have a look inside. Why the hell was this not working?

"I knew You shouldn't have put in that tin of sardines!" Jasper scolded "You've blocked it!"

"Hey!" I yelled back, hitting the thing up the side once more "It was probably that fucking rotten egg you put in, Dude!"

"...Or maybe cause it's not plugged in." Emmett chimed in.

My eyes went wide, darting from the smoothie maker to Emmett, who was seconds away from plugging it in.

"Emmett! No!" I cried.

...But it was too late. The second that plug was in the socket, the smoothie maker came to life, sending the horrible concoction inside _everywhere_! Choking, I quickly flipped the switch, the machine soon coming to a stand still. The smoothie was all over the place. In our hair, on our faces and clothes...hell, it even made it to the ceiling! Slowly wiping my mouth, I turned to glare at Emmett, who was now standing on the other side of the kitchen with a look of fear.

"Emmett..." I began, trying to keep my temper "Next time...PLEASE WAIT FOR THE DAMN LID TO BE ON!"

"...Oops..." He said in a high pitched voice.

I groaned in frustration, running my hands over my face. My Dad was going to kill me. No doubt about it. My Mom had just got the kitchen redecorated not long before the egg project, again because of Emmett, Jasper and I. Turns out that Jack Daniels and open flames don't mix well.

"Well...at least you got what you wanted..." Emmett said in between gags "Just the...smell...ugh, I'm gonna throw up!"

"Me...too..." Jasper quickly said as the two ran out the room.

"So I guess this means I'm the one cleaning up!?" I called out to them.

Sighing, I ran my fingers through my sticky hair before looking around to see the damage. It wouldn't be as bad as it looked...right? Ah, who am I kidding. I'm up to my neck in shit.

"Whoa!" I heard a familiar voice call from behind me "What happened here!? Did one of you guys fart or something? Gross!"

Turning round, I smiled at the sight of Bella.

"Hey...Don't, don't worry about this mess." I said with a nervous chuckle "I'll take care of it. Where you been?"

"Out. I was making an appointment for our next scan." She smiled "...Hey, I had an idea."

"That can't be good." I said playfully as I washed my hands, causing her to slap my arm a little.

"Shut up." She giggled, taking one of my hands in hers "I was thinking...that...maybe it's time we take the next step...you know, in our relationship."

WHAT!? Next step. What the hell _is _the next step!? I've already gotten her pregnant!

"W-what type of thing are we talking about here?" I asked with a nervous chuckle, trying to force a smile.

"Well..." She smiled, coming closer to me, wrapping her arms around my waist "I was coming back from the hospital when the baby decided it was going to use Mommy's bladder as a squeeze toy. So I stopped at the nearest cafe and just as I was coming out I heard this noise, and guess what I found!? A puppy! So...that gave me the idea of getting a dog. You know, one that belongs to both you _and _me...What'd you think?"

"I think...There is no way in hell you're bringing a dog in here." I said, causing her to glare up at me "I don't like dogs."

"No...you're just scared of them, and too bad..." She said, crossing her arms over her chest "Because I brought him home."

Just for the record...I'm not scared of dogs...I swear. I couldn't help but groan inwardly when Bella went into the living room to retrieve the newest member of the 'family', but when I saw that thing...ugh, I couldn't help but shudder. There is was in all it's slobbering glory. It's fur was matted, it was wheezing badly and it only had one eye!

"What the fuck is that!?" I asked in fear, backing up a little as the big brut of a beast growled in my direction.

"This is Duke. He's a Pitbull." She smiled, bending down to clap him on the head.

My eyes went wide when he stopped growling at me and turned to Bella, wagging his tail and licking her wrist. Nope. No way in hell is that thing staying with us.

"Come and clap him." Bella said with a smile, urging me closer "He doesn't bite."

"That's because he'd swallow me whole!" I cried in alarm.

"Edward, stop being a baby and come and clap the dog."

Reluctantly, I inched closer, holding out my hand as I went to pat Duke's head.

"Nice doggy..." I whimpered "Nice..._big_ doggy. There's no way this is a pup Bella."

I got closer and closer to the wheezing Pitbull, but just as I went to clap it, he barked. I screamed, jumping onto the breakfast bar so fast you would have thought I had been up there the whole time. Ok...so maybe I'm a little scared.  
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_**Bella's POV**_

Duke was so cute. Sure the one eye and bad breath would be enough to scare anyone away, but the second I saw that big lump sitting next to a garbage can with it's tail wagging, I just had to bring him home. He's my new baby. I wasn't really expecting Edward to react the way he did. Sure, I knew he was frightened of dogs (which he'll never admit), but never in a million years did I ever think I would hear him scream. His expression was...hilarious.

It was nearing half six when I heard the front door open, Alice, Rosalie, Jasper and Emmett trudging in dripping wet. Smiling up at my friends, I turned off the TV, Alice and Rose taking a seat next to me as Emmett and Jasper went to look out the window.

"Hey, Bells..." Jasper began, his face pressed up against the glass "Mind telling us why Edward's up a tree."

"He's trying to hide from our dog." I smiled.

"That would explain the Pitbull that is circling it." Emmett chuckled "Stupid Cullen. Everyone knows dogs can climb trees."

"That's cats babe." Rose corrected "You got a dog!"

"Yeah." I smiled back "I figured that Edward and I had to take a step forward in our relationship. I figured getting a dog would be a good idea. It's something that belongs to both of us."

"So the baby's...what?" Alice joked.

"Guys..." Jasper laughed "This is hilarious. Bells, your dog in now jumping and snapping to see if it can grab your boyfriend."

Alice, Rose and I turned to look at the guys as they continued to peer out the window, Emmett close to hysterics.

"Ok, ok..." He finally managed to get out "The dog is snapping and Jumping...Edward is now standing on the tree branch...Oh wait...Ok, he's trying to move to a higher branch...He's getting there...nearly there...Ok, he just fell out the tree..." Jasper and Emmett began to laugh louder, the faint sound of Duke barking suddenly invading our ears, quickly followed by Edward's distant screams "Ok...now Edward's running, the dog chasing him...He's taking off his shoe...throwing it at the dog who's caught it...He's still running...the dog's narrowing in...Ok, he's caught Edward's pant leg and is tugging it...Edward's lost his pant leg...He's running faster and getting closer...closer...closer..."

Emmett didn't get to carry on when the door to the garden flew opened, Edward running in and slamming it shut, leaning up against it in fear. It took every ounce of decency in me not to laugh at the sight of my boyfriend. There he was, standing in the living room soaking wet, and of course, missing one pant leg and a shoe. He was clutching his chest, breathing deeply, a glazed look in his eye.

"Edward..." I giggled "Are you Ok?"

"Why couldn't you have gotten us a fish!?" He cried before heading out the room.

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_**Edward's POV**_

I peered round the door, making sure the coast was clear before I made my move. Duke!? She named this psychotic beast Duke!? Cujo would have been more appropriate! I couldn't help but sigh in relief when I noticed there was no sign of the mangy mutt anywhere. Instead, all I saw was Bells in bed under the covers, smiling up at me as she played with her hair. Now _that _is more like it. Smiling back, I crept into the room, closing and locking the door as I made my way over to the king sized bed.

"Well hello there handsome." She greeted in a seductive voice.

I smiled, down at her, lying on my stomach on top of the covers, crawling up to kiss her.

"Hello there beautiful..." I replied in between kisses "You not tired?"

"Nuh-uh..." She smirked, sitting up a little.

"Well..." I began, leaning in as I began to kiss her neck "I'm just going to have to fix that."

She giggled as I trailed kisses down her neck, pulling down the covers as my hands began to roam over her body. Sitting up a little, I pulled Bella closer to me, my hand going under her shirt to caress her back.

"You..." She began, pulling back from our kiss "Need this off Now!"

I smiled when I felt her tug at my wife beater, raising my arms over my head so she could peel it off. Laughing a little, she threw it to the floor, pulling me back down for another kiss. Our kisses became frantic as I tugged at her shirt. She began to kiss my cheek, moving across my face until she came to my neck...and that's when I heard it. The growl.

My eyes became like saucers when I looked behind me, only to see Duke sitting at the foot of the bed snarling. You have _got _to be kidding me. Sitting up, I sighed, running my hands through my hair.

"What's wrong?" Bella asked, looking confused.

"Nothing." I answered "I just can't..._do _it in front of an audience."

"Edward..." She laughed, leaning on her arms "He's only a dog. He won't know what we're doing."

She began to stare me down, and quickly I could feel myself being lured back over to her. Damn that woman and her ability to make me do whatever she wants! Groaning a little, I leaned down and kissed her once more, Bella giggling between kisses. I began to relax, smiling as I trailed kisses down her neck, my hand going under her shirt...but that damn dog just wouldn't stop growling at me! Pulling back , I looked over at Duke, who was sitting closer to the bed snarling.

"Maybe he needs to pee." Bella announced "Edward, why don't you take him out the back."

"So he can kill me!?" I practically yelled "No thank you!"

"Oh stop being a baby and just go!" Bella said with a smirk, rolling her eyes.

I couldn't help but wince a little as I turned to look at the dog. He hadn't even touched me and already I could feel the pain. Reluctantly I got up, grabbing my wife beater and putting it on.

"You better be naked when I get back."

**~*Twilight*~**

"C'mon..." I whined, jumping from foot to foot to try and keep warm "Lift your damn leg and pee already!"

It was midnight, cold, raining and here I was, standing outside with Satan himself waiting for him to take a piss when I could be up in my room doing something _so _much better. I knew right from the beginning that this dog would be trouble. First it tries to kill me, and now...now it's causing me to miss out on sex! What's wrong with this thing! Sighing, I tugged on his lead a little, hoping that he would get the idea and hurry up...but _nooooo_. Duke is deciding to make it his personal mission to piss me off. Well I can tell you one thing. IT'S WORKING!

"Dog!" I cried "Lift and pee! It's simple."

I watched as Duke began to sniff about, hope building up inside...but when his head snapped up and he began to growl, my whole life flashed before my eyes. There, sitting on top of the fence was a black cat.

"Well that can't be good."

Before I knew it, Duke was dragging me across the lawn, barking and snarling at the cat as he chased it along the fence.

"Stop!" I cried as it pulled me along the grass "Fucking stupid dog!"

But he didn't stop, he just kept running and barking.

"Oh, this is going to hurt in the morning."

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_**Bella's POV**_

Where the hell was he!? Here I was, dressed in that sexy little babydoll that Rose and Alice had forced me to buy, waiting for him to come back. But he was no where to be seen. Groaning in frustration, I climbed under the covers and turned of the bedside lamp. To hell with it. I'm tired now!

I felt sleep about to take over the minute my head hit the pillow, but was forced to snap awake once more when the bedroom door flew open and the light turned on. Gasping, I sat up, Duke running in wagging his tail before jumping onto Edward's side of the bed...And that's when I saw him. Edward stood infront of me, his shirt torn, mud and grass stains covering him head to foot, and his pyjama bottoms missing.

"What happened?" I asked in concern.

"That!" Edward cried, pointing to Duke "That thing there is what happened to me! All he had to do was lift and pee...But _nooooo_! He had to go see a damn cat, chase it across the garden while pulling me along! I got stuck in a bush! Don't even ask me where my bottoms ended up! I don't even know!"

I tried to hold back a laugh as Edward began to rant some more, pacing in front of me before snapping round.

"Ok." He began "You wanted to take the next step in our relationship, right?" He asked "Well Bella, lets stop working backwards. Lets move in together!"

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**A/N: Ok, so I have had a very...shocking week to say the least. Seriously, what happened to me is something that you would see in movies. I tried to concentrate on this, but found it incredibly difficult. I don't know if it's funny or not, hopefully you guys will tell me, I just hoped that you enjoyed it. The next chapter will be better. I PROMISE. So, review, tell me what you think, and keep me in your prayers this week while I try and sort out my life. lol.**

**Take Care :o)**


	36. Step Away From The Cheerleaders!

**A/N: Aw guys, thank you so much for all the reviews. I'm so glad that you enjoyed the last chapter. I'm really sorry for the delay. Life has been...weired, and every time I sat down to write this chapter, I just kept getting distra...I have **_**really **_**small hands...SORRY! Distracted. I kept getting distracted...easily. lol. I want to thank everyone who kept me in their prayers, everything turned out great! Life changing, but great. Thanks :o)**

**I want to specially dedicate this chapter to **_**TwilightxFanpire **_**who kindly went out her way to surprise me with a banner for this story! You can find the link to it on my profile, but remember, she gets all the credit :o)**

**I have actually been doing my research on pregnancy, and yes you can feel the baby kick at four months. My friend was the same age as Bella in this fic when she gave birth to her first baby, and at four months she was quite big and letting us feel the baby kick. She also missed **_**a lot **_**of school, so sorry if I've been confusing anyone. I'm just basing this off of experience. **

**Enjoy :o)  
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_**Edward's POV**_

We all stood in the tiny office, Vice Principle Weaver staring back at us in anger. How the hell could this happen!? I was in trouble, and I mean BIG trouble. Actually, trouble isn't even the right word to use. Let's just say, with what I've just done, I'll be lucky if I get to see day light again before my kid graduates high school, because I am _so _grounded when my parents find out...but I'm getting ahead of myself, aren't I? I guess you're all wanting to know what happened the night before...after I asked that BIG question...well...we're about to find out...

**~*Twilight*~**

"Let's move in together!" That's all I remembered shouting as Bella sat there in bed, staring up at me as if I had officially been declared 'clinically insane'.

My chest heaved as I tried to regain control of my breathing, my arms which had been flying around in the air wildly, slowly fell to my side. I stared back at her, the anger that I had once felt towards that _dog_ and the annoyance that I had once felt towards her for bringing _in_ that _dog_, were slowly starting to fade as she continued to look up at me in silence. Oh c'mon! Say something already...unless...Oh shit, what if I've scared the crap out of her! It can't be good if you cause your pregnant girlfriend to go into shock. What if she doesn't want to move in with me? Ugh, it's just like when I was going to ask her out! I thought I'd be past the whole 'panicking about what she'll say' stage.

"Bella..." I mumbled, giving a nervouse smile "Now would be a good time to speak...and...breath maybe..."

"...Move in with you?" She gasped out "As in...move in with you? Like...house of our own. Just the two of us..._That _kind of 'move in with you'?"

"Unless you know another definition for the term...then yeah." Why the hell am I getting more and more freaked out with each passing minute. I mean, she loves me. She'd do anything for me and vice versa...shouldn't this type of question be expected? "...Do you? I mean...do you want to move in with me? Is it too soon!? Are we...there yet? Oh my gosh, we aren't are we!? It's too soon! Why the hell did I have to go and mess everything up by opening my big mouth!?"

"Woah!" Bella finally cried "Edward, stop rambling. I'm not surprised that you asked the question...I'm surprised at the fact that Jacob was right!"

Say what? Sitting back a little, I looked Bella straight in the eye, only to have her flop back against the pillows and burst out laughing. Ok, not really the reaction I was going for.

"Jacob?" I questioned, a little confused "What the hell has he got to do with us moving in together?"

"Just about everything!" She cried, giggling once again "Oh my gosh, I love him."

"Whoa! Ok, time out!" I said, pulling her back into a sitting position "What do you know that I don't!?"

"...Do you really want me to answer that question?" Bella asked, wincing slightly.

"_I mean_..." I began through gritted teeth "What do you know about the whole 'Jacob' thing...Not everything in general."

Smiling, Bella sat back a little, getting comfy to tell me her little story.

"Ok..." She began "So, I was kinda sick that we weren't taking any steps forward in our relationship. I could see us, five years from now with a kid, but still living from house to house. I didn't want that, so the other day Jacob called up about how your car was getting on..."

"Oh, how is my baby!?" I asked, cutting in.

"Still a piece of crap, now can I finish!?" I sat back a little "Anyway, he asked me how we were doing, and I told him how I was feeling...Long story short, Jacob's going to want his dog back soon."

Huh!? Duke belonged to Jake!

"What!?" I asked "You...you used your friends dog against me? How?"

"Well, like I said I was sick of us not moving forward." Bella filled in "So, I borrowed Duke, which caused you to think that he was my idea of that next step. But really what I was hoping for was for you to hate the dog, lose it, beg me to get rid of him and suggest something else. It worked like a charm! And the reason why I'm praising Jacob, was because it was his idea."

"I can't believe this..." I said in shock "You tricked me!?"

"I'm sorry." Bella cooed, but I could see the smirk she was fighting back "Just call it Jacob's payback for getting me pregnant, and for us getting all lovey dovey in front of him the other day."

"I swear next time I see him, I'm going to kick his ass."

Ok, so that will never happen, but she doesn't need to know.

I crossed my arms over my chest, huffing slightly as Bella began to laugh once more. I should have known straight from the beginning that there was something going on! What kind of idiot am I!? Although I must admit, the girl did have brains if she managed to get exactly what she wanted. I don't know whether to be annoyed, or impressed by that.

"I'm sorry baby." She said, taking my hand in hers "You know I would never hurt or upset you...Did you really believe that I would bring in a dog off the streets, knowing fine well that you were scared of them?"

"I'm not scared of dogs!?" I cried.

She just giggled again.

"Just picture Jacob's face when we kissed." She suggested "That'll cheer you up."

I couldn't help but smile at that. The look on his face when Bella kissed me _had_ been priceless. Sighing a little, I uncrossed my arms, pulling Bella over to sit on my lap as I kissed her neck. I smiled between kisses when I heard her sigh in content while playing with the hem of my wife beater.

"So you're not mad at me?" She whispered, pulling back to lean her forehead against mine.

"No..." I smiled "But you didn't answer my question."

"Ask me again." She smiled.

"You want to move in with me?" I asked.

Everything went silent again, but I wasn't nervous this time. Bella sat on my lap, staring into my eyes with a huge smile that was threatening to rip her face in half. I already knew the answer...I just wanted to hear her say it.

"When should I start packing?"  
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_**Bella's POV**_

Ok, so I lied. I never found Duke on my way home. Jake and I planned it all and it worked, perfectly! I was moving in with Edward, and the dog was going back where it came from. I knew I said he was cute, but believe me...that thing was scary! What, with it's one eye constantly watching you. I'm surprised I didn't forget the plan and beg Edward to take him home myself! But now Duke is safely back with Jacob and Edward and I have to tackle something just as scary. School.

When Monday rolled along, neither of us were too thrilled about it. I felt like I hadn't been to school in months, when really I had only been missing a few days a week. I didn't know that juggling pregnancy and school work could be so hard. Edward on the other hand...well, Edward didn't really have an excuse. He just figured that when I wasn't there, he should stay home too. He said it was his duty to look after me, and make sure I stay safe...but really, I think he was dreading sitting in Biology alone.

We sat in my truck in silence, Edward moping at the fact that we had to take _my _baby to school for a change.

"Edward, would you cheer up." I chuckled, turning into the school parking lot, only to see him slip down lower in his seat "The truck is not that bad."

"Not that bad!" He cried "Bella, the engine backfired and people ducked! My car does not give the false impression of a drive by shooting!"

"Ok, first, they did not duck they jumped, and second..." I railed on "I don't think that you're in any fit position to be talking about _my _car."

At this he huffed, sitting back in his seat while crossing his arms over his chest. Ha, take that! Rolling my eyes and fighting back a smirk, I came to a stop next to Emmett's jeep, Edward diving out immediately.

"You know." I began, climbing out only to have him put his arm around me and usher me away from my pride and joy as fast as he could "You shouldn't be too upset. This is just for today. Jacob said he was bringing your replacement car over tonight."

"Really!?" Edward asked, excitement taking over him "Did he say what kind of car it was?"

"No." I replied "Just that it would suit you well...whatever that means."

I didn't know whether to be worried or not, but I guess tonight I was going to find out.  
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_**Edward's POV**_

The day dragged in. What felt like 3 hours had only been 20 minutes, and I was loosing it. Bella was off in English with Alice, and here I was, stuck with Emmett in Wood shop since Jasper decided he was 'too sick' to come to school today. Now wood shop wasn't my best subject. Let's just say I've super glued my fingers to my forehead one too many times. Emmett on the other hand...give him wood, a hammer, glue and some nails and BAM! He's like a magician when it comes to this class.

I stood across from Emmett at our table, staring at the crooked clock on the wall as I sawed through a piece of wood...badly might I add.

"Uh...Dude..." I faintly heard Emmett say "Are you about finished, or does sawing through air relax you?"

"Huh?" I said, looking down to see that I had in fact finished cutting through my wood "Ugh, I'm sorry Dude. I'm just finding it difficult to concentrate. The day is just crawling in. I've hardly seen Bella, I had to come to school in a truck older than both our ages combined, I can't get this damn wood to cut properly and on top of that, Billy Tonkin won't stop staring at me."

"...Isn't that the freshman who eats paint?" Emmett asked in confusion, pausing slightly.

"Yeah." I stated "The guy's watching me as if I'm some sort of god or something. Seriously Dude...it's creepy."

"Ed, think about it..." Emmett began, sanding the top of the chair he was making "You are the only guy in Fork's High history who has gotten a girl pregnant. Face it. You're practically a celebrity here."

"Gee, yippie for me." I replied sarcastically, sighing in frustration when the saw I had been using to cut another piece of wood snapped. "Fuck!"

"Mr. Cullen, language." Our teacher Mr. Collins called from the front of the class, never looking up.

I sighed again, turning to glare at Emmett as he laughed at my sorry excuse for work.

"Aw, C'mon." I exclaimed, turning to look at my work "It's...it's not that bad."

"...Sure..." Emmett replied in a high voice, forcing his laugh back "I mean...It's a cool looking CD rack."

"It's a crib." I corrected.

"Then you are screwed..." Emmett said in an amused tone "Dude, cheer up. Look on the bright side, lunch is next!"

"Yeah, I'll be able to see Bells and see how she's doing." I replied, cheering up a little at the thought of seeing my girl.

"Oh...Y-you were thinking about Bella?" Emmett asked sheepishly "...I was thinking about food."

I couldn't help but laugh a little. Emmett and food. What can you do?

**~*Twilight*~**

When Wood shop finally came to an end (Praise the Lord), Emmett and I headed towards the cafeteria. I couldn't help but find it odd that the hallways were unusually empty for lunchtime, but let the thought slip as we continued on our journey. I laughed a little as Emmett began to speed up. Seriously, you would think that the guy had never seen food before.

"Man, I wonder what they're serving..." He said in a dreamy voice "Meatballs...pizza..."

"Ew...Tuna Surprise." I replied, glancing at today's menu which hung on one of the notice boards "I don't even want to know what the 'surprse' is. You'll probably find that it's _last _weeks tuna."

"Dude! Stop I'm hungry!" Emmett bellowed "Right now I'd eat paint quite happily with Billy Tonkin, I'm so hungry."

"And here I had all this respect for you." I replied with a chuckle."

We were rounding the corner, nearing the cafeteria much to Emmett's liking, but we were forced to stop when a young boy, probably around 16, ran towards us, screaming and waving his arms around in the air.

"RUN!" He cried "Run for your lives! It's horrible in there!"

"What?" I asked, a little worried "What happened, what's going on!?"

I glance at Emmett, who is looking just as worried.

"Oh it's horrible in there!" The boy continued to cry out "Everywhere...It's everywhere!"

"Snap out of it man!" Emmett cried, grabbing the boy by the shoulders and shaking him "Where!?"

"...The cafeteria." He whispered out "She's crazy!"

Just as the words left his lips, I began to fear the worse. What the hell is going on!? Was Bella ok? I didn't get to ask anymore questions though. The minute Emmett heard the word 'cafeteria', he practically dropped the kid and took off. I took off in a run, over taking Emmett just as he was nearing the doors to where all this commotion was taking place. There was screaming...Lot's of it. Whatever was going on in that room, it couldn't be good.

Taking a deep breath, I glanced at Emmett, recieving a single nod of encouragement before we burst through the doors...and believe me...what we saw was something we did not expect. Food...food flying everywhere! And BELLA! Bella standing on one of the tables in the middle of the lunch hall with a tray of food, laughing like a maniac as she launched it at a group of cheerleaders off to the side. But if I thought I should have been shocked at that, I was wrong. Just as the tapioca pudding fell over the girls, Alice and Rosalie, who had been standing close by, began to cheer and clap happily. This had to stop!

"Ha Ha!" Bella cried over the noise as food flew in all directions, hitting everyone and everything "Take that!"

"Dude!" Emmett cried "You got to stop her!"

"I know, she's going to get hurt!" I replied.

"No!" Emmett bellowed "She's wasting perfectly good pudding!"

Rolling my eyes, I headed into the war zone, dodging a bagel as it flew past my head. I continued to duck and dive as food hurdled towards me, but was thankful that I got to Bella in one piece, who was now standing over the group of girls.

"What happened!?" I cried, crawling down onto the floor beside Alice and Rose, shielding my self with an upturned table.

"Bella lost it!" Rose cried, sitting up briefly to throw a banana over the table before ducking back down "A couple of girls were whispering and pointing at her. She tried to ignore it, but then the laughing started, and the name calling. She was sick of it...so...she decided to teach them a little lesson."

"By becoming more like..." Alice began before pointing to me "You! And let me tell you, it is _fun_!"

Great! _Now _she isn't worried about getting into trouble!

"Bella!" I cried, from the floor as I watched my girlfriend climb off the table and approach the girls "Put the yogurt down and step away from the cheerleaders...Don't make me come over there!"

I gasped when Bella turned to look at me. She was covered in food and a slight glint in her eye.

"Edward!" She said happily "Care to join in on the fun."

Wide eyed, I quickly scrambled across the floor, rushing to her side while missing flying food by mere centimeters. Five minutes in the room, and I'm still clean.

"Bella." I yelled above the noise "C'mon, we need ot get out of here before you get into trouble."

"Oh, Edward." Bella chuckled, throwing food off into the distance as some hit her leg "Live a little."

I was about to protest, kick and scream until she agreed to come with me, but stopped when I felt something hit my back...and then I heard it. One of the most annoying voice's on the face of this earth.

"Yes!" He cried "I got Cullen!"

"...Newton..." I growled.

Picking up an apple that lay at my feet, I slowly turned to face the baby faced blond idiot, who was laughing with his friends, high fiving random people as the passed. Take this you bastard.

"Oh Mikey!" I yelled sweetly, gaining his attention.

I smiled, waving slightly before launching the apple in his direction. Ha! Hope that hurts! But just as the apple was about to hit, Mike ducked, and I swear...I could have killed myself right then and there, because the person that my 'weapon' had made contact with, wasn't just anyone. I was Mr. Weaver, the Vice Principle. My eyes went wide as the apple bounced off his bald head, casuing the pudgy man's eyes to roll to the back of his head as he fell to the ground. Oh that can't be good.

"Uh...Edward..." Bella stuttered "I think I'm ready to leave now."

Yeah...Me too...Look's like it's lunch-to-go

**~*Twilight*~**

So here we are now. Emmett, Rose, Alice, Bella and I, all sat in Mr. Weavers office covered in food as he held an ice pack to his head, glaring at us from over his desk. I glanced at Bella, who gave me a look filled with concern and guilt.

"So..." Mr. Weaver began, directing it to all of us "You started a food fight...What do you have to say!?"

"...It's not a good idea to let a pregnant woman get pissed off in a lunch hall?" Alice questioned, causing Bella to turn beet red.

"You, You and You!" Mr. Weaver spat, pointing to Emmett, Rose and Alice "Detention, now get out of my office!"

They didn't need to be told twice. Emmett practically picked them up and ran out of there, leaving Bella and I alone with the old man. This isn't going to be pretty.

"Well Mr. Cullen...Miss Swan!" He boomed "What do you propose we do now!?"

I couldn't think of anything. Where would I even begin. Do I just come out and tell him '_Oh, I'm sorry Mr. Weaver. Bella went crazy and decided to attack a group of cheerleaders with her lunch while I knocked you out with a piece of fruit...pudding anyone?'_. I doubt that would go down well.

Boy, didn't Jasper pick a good day to be off.  
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**_Bella's POV_**

When Edward and I finally got out of Mr. Weavers office, who told us to just go home after giving us detention for a month, I drove us back to Edward's as quickly as possible. We spent the journey mainly in silence, but when I came to stop outside his house, I couldn't help but laugh a little, causing Edward to give me a confused look.

"Look at it this way." I chuckled out "At least we bonded as a couple."

He laughed at this, rolling his eyes before climbing out the truck.

"Well next time, lets try something alittle less...messy."

I laughed a little, walking over to Edward's side as we made our way up the driveway, but we stopped at what we saw. Jacob, standing next to a car covered in a sheet, gaping at us.

"Do I want to know?" He asked with a small smirk.

"Probably not." Edward replied "So...is this the replacment car you've been promising me?"

"Yup." He smirked "And I think it's very...You..."

We didn't get to say anything berfore he whiped off the sheet, revealing to us the car that Edward would be forced to drive for the next two months.

"Oh my gosh you didn't." I choked out.

Jacob is so going to die for this.  
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**A/N: So what did you think? I'm not really sure, I just wanted this chapter up. Please R&R and tell me your thoughts. Oh and please check out my new poll. Thanks :o)**


	37. You Cut His Pony Tail Off!

**A/N: Thanks for all the reviews guys. I'm so glad that you all liked the last chapter. Your kind reviews made me feel a lot better about it in the end :o)**

**It's so hard trying to make everyone laugh in every chapter. I obviously didn't know what I was getting myself into when I started this fic. lol.**

**This fic got entered into another contest! The **_**Twilight has never been this funny!-Contest!**_ **Yay! Thank you so much**

**Guys, please vote for 'My Best Friend's Kid' in the **_**Twilight All Human Fanfiction Awards**_**. It would mean so much. You can find the link on my profile. Thanks :o)**

**Enjoy :o)**

**Sorry for the delay guys. Really bad writers block, plus I have the flu...again. I've actually missed writing this story.**

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_**Edward's POV**_

"Oh my gosh you didn't..." I faintly heard Bella call as I continued to stare at the car that Jacob had delivered "Edward...Edward...just...just stay calm babe. Just breathe. In and out...In and out. Deep breaths ok?"

Stay calm? STAY CALM!? How in the name of Father Christmas am I supposed to stay calm when that...that _thing_ is sitting in my driveway! Slowly, I turned to look at Jacob, who was standing with his arms crossed over his chest and a smug grin which was threatening to split is soon-to-be-bruised face in two. Count to ten Edward. Just count to ten. It works every time...well...almost. My eye twitched slightly, my fist tightening as it took every ounce of self control **not **to punch out a guy twice my height in the middle of broad daylight. Looking away from Jacob I took another hard look at the car, holding back a wince when I saw it. The orange paint job...the large '01' painted on the sides...and let's not forget a damn Confederate Battle flag gracing the roof! It's all I could see. Hell! It's all _anyone _could see! How the hell am I supposed to drive this stupid thing! The fuckin'...General Lee!

"Argh!" I cried, sitting up in bed, sweat covering my chest and forehead.

I looked around the room frantically, breathing heavily as the sound of the rain battering against the window invaded my ears. It was just a dream. Just a bad dream. I wasn't standing outside staring at that orange abomination. I was in my room, Bella sound asleep against my side. Chuckling a little, I sat back against the headboard, letting out a breath of relief as I ran my hand over my eyes. Man...I _gotta_ lay off on the sugar!

"Edward?" I heard Bella groan, sitting up and turning on the light "Whats the matter? Its two thirty in the morning."

"Oh Bella it was awful!" I cried, turning round to face my love "Jacob, he came to deliver the car to us...but...it wasn't just any car! It was the frickin' General Lee! It just sat in the driveway. Old and...orange looking! It felt so real. For a second I actually believed that I was expected to...to..."

But I couldn't carry on, because Bella just sat there, her face contorting into fear and guilt with each word I spoke.

"It...wasn't a dream was it?"

I didn't let her reply, instead, I shot out of bed, grabbing my boxers and slipping them on as I made my way over to the window, tripping a little as I did...And what I saw wasn't pretty. There, in my driveway sat that damn car that many of you boys and girls will remember from 'The Dukes Of Hazzard'. It could have been worse though... I mean Jacob could have brought me something with three wheels...or pink...I just don't know what the hell possessed him to bring that! I mean, I have to drive to school in that thing. I have to be seen in public! Ugh, I can just see in now. Some asshole is going to pull me out of that car through the window and kick the living shit out of me. I wouldn't even want Mike Newton or Jamie Stevens to be subjected to that...no wait...yes I would.

Now I know what you're probably all thinking. How did Jacob Black manage to get his hands on an exact replica of The General Lee. Well let's just say, Billy Black was one hell of Dukes fan back in the day. But I can say I'm happy about one thing though. He did fix the doors so they'll at least open. I can just imagine the amount of hassle it would be trying to get Bella to fit through the window. I mean no offence, she is four months pregnant, and I know your first kid this young should be more concealed...but _damn_! At the rate she's going, she'll be blowing a baby hippo out her ass.

I whimpered a little at the sight of the car, banging my forehead against the cold glass as Bella came up behind me, wrapping her small arms round my waist and kissing my shoulder.

"Don't worry..." She spoke softly "It's not that bad...Plus look on the bright side...At least you'll always remember where you've parked."

"You can't actually say you like that thing can you?" I asked, turning round in her arms and pulling her closer "I mean, right now I'd take the van from _Dumb and Dumber_."

"Somehow I really don't think I could see you complaining about driving a giant sheepdog about." Bella smirked, rolling her eyes a little.

"Hey, no dissing the van. That thing rocks...that outside however, is a different story." I sighed for what felt like the thousandth time, resting my head against the window "I am so going to get someone _so _much bigger than me to kick Jake's ass...although..." I smiled a little, looking down at Bella "I must say that what you did to him this afternoon was very...creative."

"Edward, I didn't do anything." Bella replied, turning defensive.

"You cut his pony tail off!" I cried, laughing a little "Which reminds me, did I tell you that I loved you for that?"

"You may have said it once or twice." She smiled, wrapping her arms round my neck while standing on her tip toes.

"Once more won't hurt." I smirked, leaning down until we were millimeters apart "I love you."

Smiling, Bella closed her eyes and kissed me, running her fingers through my hair.

"Hmm..." She sighed into the kiss before pulling back and resting her head on my chest "I love you too...So much. Don't worry about the car too much" She said, turning until her chin was resting on my chest, looking up at me through her lashes "I think Jake will think twice next time before pulling a little stunt like that...Cause' there's only so many things that I can cut off."

**……………………………………………………………………………………………….**

_**Bella's POV**_

A few day's had passed since Jacob had introduced Edward and I to the General Lee, and lets just say that our boy still wasn't in the best of moods. Edward may not have been happy about the car, but Emmett was ecstatic when he saw it. Not that that surprised me. The boy found a straight banana once, and passed out due to excitement. He nearly took a seizure when he laid eyes on the General, begging Edward and to let him take it for a spin. You can probably figure how that conversation ended. I mean, I love Emmett to bits, but when it comes to driving, he and Edward are like brothers.

But today I was the excited one, and let me tell you, it had nothing to do with the car. Today was the day that I was going for my second scan, but also find out the sex of the baby. The sex was something that Edward and I had discussed for a while. I was desperate to find out what we were having, mostly because I could start picking out colour schemes and clothes, and also get Alice to shut the hell up about it being a boy. At first, Edward had been adamant that he didn't want to know, claiming that he wouldn't feel comfy looking at his kids '_junk_' with a camera, but after spending so much time with me, the person who wouldn't shut up about it, he soon changed his mind.

"Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh!" He chanted with a wide grin, drumming his fingers against the steering wheel "Did you know that we're having a baby!?"

"Is that what this big bump is!?" I replied with a smirk "I thought I had swallowed a basketball or something."

"Man!" He cried "In like an hour, we'll know if we're having a son or daughter. That's...unbelievable. To think that four months have come and gone already. It seems like just yesterday I knocked you up."

"Believe me it wasn't." I giggled "Four months to a teenage boy, and four months to a pregnant woman are _so _different."

We slowly came to a stop at a set of lights, Edward practically bouncing in his seat from excitement. Ok, I take back what I said earlier about me being the excited one.

"Babe." I began, running my fingers through my hair while chuckling "Did you..._take_ anything this morning? I mean, you look high."

"Ah Bells..." He smiled, resting his head back on the headrest "I'm just so excited. Nothing can piss me off today. Not even this stupid looking car."

I smiled, happy to see Edward was finally getting over Jake's personal punishment...but that smile soon faded when a big red truck pulled up beside us, a rather large man wearing a bandana and sporting a greying beard hanging out the window while blaring his horn at us.

"Nice roof douchbag!" He cried, spitting out his window "Join us in the 21st century!"

"Edward, just...leave it alone." I said, trying to calm my boyfriend "He'll drive awa..."

"Hey screw you asshole!" Edward cried, cutting me off while giving the truck driver the finger.

Yeah, so much for not letting anything piss him off.

"Edward!" I cried, pulling him back from the window "Are you crazy! That guy practically has 'Serial Killer' tattooed across his forehead! He looks like he could stick your head up your own ass!"

"Bella..." Edward turned to me calmly, giving a slight smile "You can't be scared of these people."

But just as that sentence left Edward's mouth, the truck driver slammed his body against the windscreen, resulting in me _and _Edward letting out girly screams. The driver had a crazy look in his eye, laughing evilly at the sight of Edward and I in the car. He was leather head to toe, tattoo's running up and down each arm like sleeves. He looked like he belonged on a motorbike instead of a truck. His yellow teeth were sickening, and even through the glass I thought I could smell his smokers breath. Basically the guy spelled out on word. Pain.

"Roll up your window!" My boyfriend cried, rolling up his own "ROLL IT UP!"

No need to tell me twice! Frantically I began to roll up the window as the 'lovely' potential serial killer rocked the car slightly.

"Can I be scared of him _now_!?" I screamed, tightening my grip on the seat belt.

"Yup." Edward replied wide eyed, his tight grip on the steering wheel turning his knuckles white.

"Do you think he'll kill us?" I asked in a nervous voice.

"Yup."

"Is that all you can say right now!?" I bellowed.

"Yup."

The psychotic truck driver continued to bash on the hood of the car, laughing like a maniac every time Edward and I jumped. Seriously, this guy was screwed up in the head. When did this story start becoming a horror!?

"Edward do something." I said, nudging him in the side.

"Like What!?" He cried in alarm, looking more terrified at what I had said than the trucker himself.

"I don't know...Give him a peace offering..." I said looking round the car for something "Oh! Here, give him your M&M's!"

"But I wanted to eat them!" Edward whined like a five year old.

"You'll be eating your own foot in a minute unless you try and reason with him!" I said "And believe me when I say this, he is not the one that will be force feeding it to you."

Like that, Edward was out the car. I don't know if I should be proud or terrified at the fact that my boyfriend is more scared of me than him.  
**……………………………………………………………………………………………….**

_**Edward's POV**_

Reason with him? REASON WITH HIM!? Was she an insane!? This guy made Micheal Meyers look friendly. Gee, pregnancy really does fuck up your mental state. Cautiously, I got out of the car only to turn around and head back in, but of course I was stopped short by Bella who gave me 'The Look' and pointed towards the trucker. I winced a little, knowing straight away that this couldn't be good. Taking a deep breath, tightening my grip on the M&M's, I turned to look at the evil looking trucker.

"Look Dude." I began "This has been a huge misunder..."

But I didn't get to finish my sentence, because the next thing I knew a giant fist was headed in my direction. Ouch. That's going to hurt in the morning.  
**……………………………………………………………………………………………….**

**A/N: So, what did you think? Love it? Hate it? Let me know.**

**I know it's been a while since I last updated, and I really do have a cheek for asking this, but please remember to vote for this story in the **_**Twilight All Human Fanfiction Awards **_**(Link in profile). It'd mean a lot. This was supposed to be up earlier today, but I spent the whole day trying to get my Sony Vegas Pro 8.0 onto my laptop, and now that I have it, I don't know how to use it. lol. Wish me luck in trying to solve it.**

**Take care :o)**


	38. AUTHORS NOTE 3!

**Thank You, thank you, thank you!!!**

**Thanks to all of you guy's who voted for 'My Best Friends Kid' in the **_**Twilight All Human Awards**_**, it came second!**

**Woo-hoo!**

**Thank you again.**

**I got more good news too! This story has been nominated for 'Best Comedy' in the **_**Sizzling Story Awards**_**! (Huge thank you to whoever nominated me)**

**Yay!**

**Please vote lots and lots and **_**LOTS**_**! lol. You can vote as many times as you like.**

**Voting has begun, and ends on the 16th of September at 6pm GMT **

**The link for the site can be found on my profile :o)**

**Thank you all so much once again :o)**

**Take Care**

**5t4c3y **

**x :o) x**

**P.S. A new chapter of this story will be up **_**extremely **_**soon, so keep and eye out ;o)**


	39. Throw In A Dash Of 'The Full Monty!

**A/N: Wow guys, thank you so much for all of those awesome reviews. Loved them! I actually enjoyed writing the last chapter...no matter how long it took. lol.**

**So much for updating **_**extremely **_**soon. I'm so sorry guys. My friends surprised me with a trip and I just got back today. Forgive me? lol. Plus my internet stopped working AGAIN! Grrrr!**

**I keep getting asked how I manage to come up with stuff like this, and the truth is, it just comes naturally. My friends and I aren't **_**quite**_**as bad as the characters in this story, but we sure do give them a run for their money. lol. Half of this stuff is normality for us...minus the whole killing our Grans and watching their coffins roll down the hill. lol. But the stuff that we get up to is unbelievable. lol. Hope you all enjoy this chapter. R&R :o)**

**Also guys, please remember, Bella **_**is **_**pregnant. Her hormones are everywhere! So she will be moody and annoying sometimes. Believe me, you do **_**not**_**want to hear about some of the stories I have about pregnant women *shudders* lol. Please don't start to hate her. I wasn't going to say this, but Bella is going to get a little bit of the...spotlight soon :o)**

**Woo-hoo! This story has been favorited over 1000 times! And I reached over 3000 reviews! Woo-hoo!!!!! (I say that a lot. lol)**

**It also came runner up in the **_**Immortal Cookie Awards **_**contest :o)**

**Enjoy!**

**I really need to stop making my author notes as long as the chapter. lol :o)  
****……………………………………………………………………………………………….**

_**Edward's POV**_

_Ow, ow, ow ,ow ,ow, ow_

All I could remember seeing was his scabbed fist coming at me at full force. Better start counting my teeth quickly, cause in a second their not going to be there anymore. Closing my eyes, flinching a little, I tried to prepare myself for the blow...but it never came. Huh? That can't be right. Am I dreaming? I should be lying flat on my back right about now. My teeth that far down my throat that I'd have to stick a toothbrush up my ass just to clean them. Weird. Opening one eye, I looked over at the trucker who I'm going to be calling Shrek from now on. I was expecting to see his fist just millimeters from my face, but instead I found him pressed up against the side of his truck in fear, Bella holding onto the front of his grubby shirt while standing on her tiptoes to look him in the eyes. Oh this should be fun to watch.

All the fear vanished, quickly being replaced by amusment. Smiling, I crossed my arms over my chest, excited at what could happen. Ooh...he's gonna get it! He's gonna get and he doesn't even know it yet! Ha ha! That will teach him to mess with me! I'll get my girlfriend onto him...wait...that just sounded totally gay didn't it?

"What the hell is your problem!?" Bella cried, Shrek backing up even more into the side of the truck "You don't just punch people! What's the matter with you!?"

It took every ounce of me not to laugh, but the fear that flashed through the man's eyes at the sight of my little innocent Bella was priceless. Ha! Pregnant woman 1, Scary potential serial killer, 0! Aw, who the hell cares if a girl is fighting my battles for me!? She's doing a great job!

"Uh...uh..." He stuttered, trying hard to form a coherent sentence without losing his balls.

"_Uh...uh..._" Bella mimicked "You were just supposed to take the damn candy and leave! It's not _that_hard to figure out! Punching people equels pain!"

"But I didn't punch him!" He finally cried, defending himself as sweat covered his brow "I wasn't gonna hurt him...much...I jus' wanted to get my point across about your car!"

"By _throwing _yourself at it!" Bella cried, her grip on Shrek's shirt becoming visibly tighter.

"Ooh...You're gonna get it..." I said in a sing song voice, my inner thoughts finally surfacing.

"I mean, were you dropped on your head repeatedly as a child !?" Bella carried on.

"On your head man." I chimed in once more, starting to sound like I was preaching.

"For the love of all things that are holy!" She bellowed.

"Amen." I added, a hand to my chest.

"Edward!" Bella finally snapped, turning to face me "Shut up!"

"Sorry."

Turning her attention back to the should-be-biker, Bella glared at him. Is it bad that I'm _extremely _turned on by her right now?

"Now..." She began, releasing her death grip on the mans shirt, crossing her arms over her chest "You have until the count of three to get out of here before I take that walkie talkie you've got there in your truck, and shove it that far down your throat you'll be talking out your ass...literately...One..."

Well, he didn't need to be told twice, because the second that 'one' left Bella's mouth, he was probably already half way to Canada! Man, I seriously have the best girl in this world. I just can't believe that she caused a guy, who looks like he has a licence to kill, nearly pee himself. Now that is a story for the kid! Screw me killing my Grandma, this just takes the cake!

Letting out a sigh of relief, Bella turned to me, only to run straight into my arms and kiss every inch of my face. Wow, and I thought it couldn't get any better! I laughed a little as she attacked me, getting a kiss in here and there before she pulled away and looked at me in horror, her hands still tugging at my hair as if she was frightened to let go.

"Oh my gosh, I am so sorry Edward." She bawled, guilt and panic in her eyes "Never, _never_ listen to me again. OK? All I do is end up nearly getting you killed. I am so sorry. Please forgive me. Ugh! If only the lights hadn't been red, we could have drove away and none of this would have happened...actually, none of this would have happened if my old _friend_ hadn't of given us the General in the first place! Stupid Jake. I hope he's missing that pony tail of his!"

All I could do was laugh, running my hands through her hair before cupping her cheeks, forcing her to look up at me. I knew she was over reacting a little, but hey, with all the attention that I'm getting right now I _really_ don't care.

"Bells." I began, looking into her eyes "Shut up."

Smiling a little, Bella gave a little sigh before wrapping her arms around my neck, pressing her forehead against my own. Closing her perfect brown eyes, she kissed me.

"I love you." I said, kissing her forehead.

"I love you too."  
**……………………………………………………………………………………………….**

_**Bella's POV**_

Ok, so maybe that wasn't the most...intellectual thing I have ever done in my life. Usually it's Edward who is putting his own life at risk. Now it looks like I'm doing it for him! Stupid, stupid Bella. Why do I never think these things through!? That guy could have killed him in one punch! But I think I got through to him in the end. After standing in the middle of the road holding onto Edward for dear life, we finally made our way back to the General, people behind honking us to move our asses. But I couldn't find the time to be mad at them, because now my excitment was back! We're finding out the sex of the baby!

We were in the car no more than two seconds before I got a text message from Alice. I wonder what's wrong.

_Bells! Get home Now!_

_Emergency!_

_A xXx_

Panic began to over take me. Emergency! What type of emergency! Oh no...Don't tell me Emmett super glued his hands to the floor again! How many times to I have to tell them to keep that stuff out of his way!? Looking over my shoulder at the text, and as if reading my mind, Edward quickly turned the car around and headed straight back to the house. All sorts of things were flying through my head. What if it wasn't something as stupid as Emmett and super glue? What if it was serious? Hard to believe that anything in my life nowadays could be classified as 'serious' mind you, but something had to be wrong. I hadn't realised how fast we had been driving until we pulled into our street. What if Charlie was sick? What if the guys had some important news? What if...Alice had just dug herself an early grave for what she's just done!?

The car came to a stop outside Edward's house, and I could quickly feel the anger bubbling up inside of me. Oh she's going to pay. She is _so _going to pay. Getting out the car, I slammed the door shut, only to be greeted by a few..._dozen _people standing in the Cullen's garden, balloons, tables...basically everything in the way of me chocking the pixie to death.

"Mary Alice Brandon!" I cried "You made me miss my scan for a party!?"

"Not a party Bella!" She cried happily "Surprise! We threw you a baby shower!"

Don't kill your friend. _Do not _kill your friend.

"But my scan!" I cried

"Is tomorrow." She giggled "I switched your dates around...Hey, we had to get you out of the house some way or another. Thanks for helping out Edward."

"No problem." My boyfriend smiled.

He was in on this!? My boyfriend! The love of my life! Father of my child! He _helped _plan this little shindig...and he did it _without _blabbing the whole thing!? Either he was getting _a lot _better at keeping his secrets, or Rose and Alice had threatened him with a makeover and chest wax. Ugh, I should have just let trucker boy punch him! Right now I'm tempted to do it myself. Crossing my arms over my chest, I glanced around suddenly feeling very self conscious at the amount of eyes that were staring back at me. Nearly every girl from school was there. Jessica, Lauren, Angela...even Tanya! Who I must add is keeping a safe distance.

"Are you mad?" Edward asked, wrapping an arm around my waist and pulling me to his side.

"No." I replied, giving him a small smile "...But there better be cake."

Damn right. If I'm going to be subjected to this, there better be a double chocolate chip _something_ with my name written on it somewhere.  
**……………………………………………………………………………………………….**

_**Edward's POV**_

Well, right now I'm either the best boyfriend in the world or the most stupid...not that people don't already think that about me. I bet I had you all fooled though. What with my over excitedness about seeing the baby. I guess in a way that makes me a bad father. I'm already using my kid as a cover up. The only thing about our little trip to see the 'scan' was that our encounter with Shrek wasn't part of the plan. But we survived all the same. However, after everyone's cleared out of here and Bella's got her hands on me I might not be so lucky. Just look for the big mound of dirt in the back yard with a straw sticking out of it, Bella covering the end with her finger. I'll be _under_ that big mound of dirt attempting to breathe through the straw.

I watched with a smile as Bella soon became surrounded by people. She looked around nervously, mouthing the words _help me _as Rosalie took hold of her hand and pulled her into the house, which I assume was filled with balloons, food, presents...everything. Hmm...I'm starting to wonder if I should have told my Dad about this first. I mean, since my Mom has been out of town, he's been coming up with _really _strange punishments. For instance, last night at dinner I swore because I burned my tongue on a steaming carrot and instead of telling me off he took my dinner away and sat a bar of soap in front of me. If it was my Mom all she would have done is give me a smack up the back of the head, but _noooo _my Dad had to go the extra frickin' mile. I nearly inhaled that carrot when he put that down in front of me. I miss my Mommy.

I was about to make my way into the house and hide out in my room, but was stopped by Emmett and Jasper running up to me with panic in their eyes. Huh, I didn't know they were here.

"Dude!" Emmett cried, pushing me further away from the house "Run!"

"Why does everything these day's start with 'Dude, run!'?" I asked "Why can't it be 'hey' or 'what's up'?"

"No seriously." Jasper chimed in "You're gonna want to start moving round about now, because Alice got an _amazing_ idea and it involves us!"

"Yep, you're right." I replied, grabbing both their shirts "Let's go."

We ran towards the General, for once the orange abomination becoming a form of refuge in my eyes, but of course just as we were about to jump into the car and follow the scary trucker in his actions a bolt it to Canada, we were stopped by non other than the pixie devil herself.

"Oh boys!" She called from the doorway in a sing song voice "Can you come here for a moment. We need your help with something."

Don't fall for it Edward. She doesn't need your help. She's using her small innocent like features to rope you into doing whatever she wants! Whatever you do, don't turn round.

"Please..." She called.

No! Not the 'P' word! I cave into anyone's wishes when they use that word. Ugh, the guys are going to hate me for this. It's going to be them covering the end of that straw while I'm under the mound of dirt.

"Yeah, Alice?" I replied, turning round while Emmett sighed and Jasper pretended to blow his brains out.

Squealing a little, Alice ran towards us. I turned briefly to apologize to Emmett and Jasper, but all I got in return was a death glare from them both.

"You and I will be having words later." Emmett stated as Alice approached.

"Honey!" Jasper faked enthusiasm "A-Aren't you supposed to be in at the party. I mean, you are the hostess. You should be in there. Why aren't you in there!?"

"I need a favor." She smiled, hugging into Jasper's side "We are kinda lacking entertainment inside. I mean, we have music playing, but nothing special, so...I was hoping that maybe you guys would come up with something to keep everyone happy. A dance or a song maybe?"

"Alice..." I began "Do we _look _like we're dressed in a big purple dinosaur suit?"

"Ooh, do you have one of those!?" She asked, full of excitement.

"Get that idea out of your head right now!" I exclaimed, pointing at her "We will help you out...within reason."

She squealed again, causing us to wince in pain a little. Seriously. It's so high pitched a dog across the street started barking...I hate dogs.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" She cried as she hugged each of us "Just make it funny and sexy. You can't go wrong with that. There's a house full of girls in there and they need some panty dropping stuff."

"I can't believe you just said that at my girlfriends baby shower." I muttered.

With a smile and roll of the eyes, Alice pecked Jasper on the cheek and bounced happily back inside.

"Thanks a lot man!" Jasper bellowed, running a hand over his face.

"Yeah!" Emmett followed "Sexy _and _funny!? We're comedians, not magicians!"

"Now calm down..." I shouted "I have an idea."

"There's something we haven't heard before." Jasper muttered "What is it this time? You're going to get us out of this by setting the house on fire? Hire a male stripper that will turn out to be a gigolo? Fake a heart attack?"

"No!" I scoffed "This time it's a real plan."

"And what exactly is your plan?" Jasper asked.

"Let's go _'Freshman Year Talent Show'_ on their ass!" I smiled "Throw in a dash of '_The Full Monty_' and Boom! You have funny _and_ sexy."

They were silent for a while, Emmett finally cracking a smile.

"It does sound like a good plan." He smirked

"And no one can actually get hurt." Jasper smirked "...Fine, we'll do it."

"Alright boys." I smirked as we headed for the house "Let's give them this panty dropping show."

**……………………………………………………………………………………………….**

_**Bella's POV**_

Mingle...That's what Rose said. Mingle...Ugh, why is mingling so damn difficult!? I swear I only knew a handful of these people who were cooing over my bump and showing me how to work various baby gadgets, some of which I had earlier mistaken for sex toys, Edward was missing and Alice was walking around the joint with a smile that made me wonder if she had fallen asleep with a hanger in her mouth. Ugh, this can't be good. Why do I always panic in situations like these? Just as the little pixie was passing me, I grabbed her arm.

"Alice, where's Edward?" I asked, looking round the room to see if I could see him standing in a corner as the girls shamelessly flirted with him.

He was probably upstairs with Emmett and Jasper watching Jeff Dunham while trying to do bad impressions of Achmed. Oh, please dear boyfriend, come and save me from this hell! All I wanted round about now was for him to throw everyone out, and lead me upstairs where we could hide inn his room for the next 5 months.

"Oh, he's around." She smirked "In fact, you might just see him in a few minutes. Take a seat and I'll see what I can do."

Confused as I was, I did what Alice said and sat down. I still hadn't quite forgiven her for switching my dates, and my feet were killing me. Ugh. Listen to me, I'm starting to sound like a 90 year old. Sighing and sitting back on the couch, I was quickly joined by Rose, Angela and Jessica, the others gathering around with a smile as the looked at Alice who was now standing in front of the large arch way that led to the joined on dinning room, a large smile plastering her face as she bounced on the spot, her eyes sparkling with excitement.

"Ladies!" My pixie friend announced "I just want to thank you all for coming along today, and for all the lovely gifts that you all gave Bella, Edward and the baby. You guys have been awesome...so, as a little thank you for all your support and for coming along, I have arranged a little entertainment that I think...some of you may appreciate."

Oh no, this can't be good.

"So sit back, relax and enjoy the show."

There was a few claps as Alice took a seat in between Rose and I, giving me a little wink.

"Oh please tell me this doesn't involve my boyfriend." I whined, frightened for the answer.

"Shh..." She simply replied "Watch the show Bella."

I turned my attention to where Alice had been standing mere seconds ago, nothing really special happening. What the hell was going on?

"Alice..." I began, but was cut off when music began to fill the room.

The second the familiar song reached my ears, I couldn't help but blush and smile a little, holding back my laugh as I exchanged a knowing glance with Rose and Alice, who's reactions were similar to my own. Remind me to kiss Edward later for this. We sat clapping our hands to the intro of _YMCA_, giggling a little when we watched the guys peek round the corner of the arch way, winking while clicking their fingers. Ok, I take back what I said earlier. This is going to be frickin' hilarious.

_Young man, there's no need to feel down.  
I said, young man, pick yourself off the ground.  
I said, young man, 'cause you're in a new town  
There's no need to be unhappy. _

As the song started, all three of them jumped out from behind the wall, bobbing their heads as they shook their hips, their right arms outstretched. I couldn't help the squeal that escaped from my lips at the sight of them. Jasper was wearing the Indian costume that I remembered from the talent show, lipstick for war paint. Emmett was wearing a rather tight fitting police costume, also a pleasant memory from the show...But Edward. Oh my gosh. If I wasn't pregnant in a room full of other people, I wouldn't have thought twice before jumping his bones. Talk about sex on legs. He had filled out a little bit since the talent show, making his toned abs even more delightful to ogle. Edward dressed in nothing but a firefighters pants and open jacket. Ugh! It's like I had died and gone to heaven!

_Young man, there's a place you can go.  
I said, young man, when you're short on your dough.  
You can stay there, and I'm sure you will find  
Many ways to have a good time._

And just when I thought it couldn't get any better I was proven wrong. Because the next thing I knew, Edward was shrugging off that damn jacket, throwing it in my direction as all the girls let out a squeal of delight. I couldn't help but blush even more when he winked at me as Emmett and Jasper followed his lead, stripping themselves of their own jackets while throwing them at Rose and Alice.

"You know I love you right?" I said, turning to face Alice who was swinging Jasper's coat in the air "But isn't this a little...too sexy for a baby shower?".

All she did was giggle a little

"Call this part an early bachelorette party." She replied.

"I'm not engaged." I smirked.

"Yet!"

Rolling my eyes and chuckling a little, I turned back to face the boys. Was it getting hot in here or was it just me? There they were, dancing in front of us girls shirtless, their pants resting dangerously low on their hips. Oh please take them off...please take them off...

_It's fun to stay at the Y-MC-A  
It's fun to stay at the Y-M-C-A_

Oh there is a God! The next thing I knew the pants were being torn off, leaving all three boys in _very _tight sexy underware. You'd think that I'd be annoyed that other girls were currently in the room watching my boyfriends junk closely, but I was too engrossed in watching it myself to care! We all cheered as they began to do the famous YMCA actions above their heads, all us girls joining in. Three hot guys dancing in their underware in the middle of the living room...you couldn't get much better than this!

**……………………………………………………………………………………………….**

_**Edward's POV**_

Ok, so maybe this little plan of Alice's hadn't been such a horrible idea in the first place. It was actually quite fun. YMCA with a strip tease...Maybe skip telling the kid this story. We continued to show off our 'sexy' moves, all the girls screaming at us as we shook our hips some more. Turning side on, I placed my hands on Emmett's hips, Jasper doing the same to me as we shook some more. Now, anyone walking in would probably mistake us for being three gay boys out for some fun, but we were having such a good time we didn't even care. Just as the chorus was about to start again, we slapped our asses, resulting in even more screams of delight...but the smile that I had been sporting quickly faded when I heard the voice that I was least expecting.

"EDWARD ANTHONY CULLEN!"

Snapping round, my eyes widened more.

"MOM!"  
**……………………………………………………………………………………………….**

**A/N: Esme's back! And she just walked in on her son and his friends half naked in front of a group of girls. Can anyone else say _'awkward...'. _Lol. I really hope you enjoyed it. Edward dancing in a firefighter costume...gotta love it right? Please R&R and tell me what you think. Also, please vote for this fic for the **_**Sizzling Story Awards**_**! They close today! Please check out my new poll too.**

**Take Care :o)**


	40. Now He's Morphed Into Jabba The Hutt!

**A/N: O...M...G! Thank you so much for the response on the last chapter. I wanted to try and see if I could muster up something chuckle worthy without hurting and/or killing anyone. Hopefully I did a good job. lol. I'm really glad that you all liked it, and thank you so much for voting and for doing my poll. You rock! I find it so cool that people think this is the funniest fanfic that they've read, and that they think I'm 'hilarious'. lol. You have no idea how much that means to me. Makes me feel that my writing isn't a total waste of time. Thank You ;o)**

**Hope you all enjoy this chapter as much as the last :o)**

**Also, this story came ****1st**** place in the '**_**Sizzling Story Awards' **_**for best comedy! Woo-hoo! Thank you, thank you, thank you for voting for it!  
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_**Edward's POV**_

"EDWARD ANTHONY CULLEN!" I heard the cry from behind.

No, no, no, no! This cannot be happening. Why God!? Why me!? And why now of all the time in the world, why now!? Time seemed to slow down as I turned to see the one person that scared me more than pregnant Bella, Charlie with his shot gun and Alice in a shoe store all put together. Yes boys and girls. That's right, my...

"MOM!?"

Like I said. This could not be happening.

"Esme!?" I heard Bella gasp, standing up to greet my mother.

"Bella!"

"Emmett!" Everyone turning to glance at my big brute of a friend as he shouted his own name "...I felt left out..."

Everyone quickly rolled their eyes as their attention turned back to me and my mother. Now this isn't weird at _all_. Me standing in the middle of the living room with my guy friends, dressed in nothing but the tightest red boxer briefs known to man while doing the YMCA...Ah crap...this has 'gay' written all over it. Ugh, why couldn't I have come up with a better idea!? An idea that involved clothes maybe. Just as the thought left my mind, Emmett and Jasper quickly backed up behind their girls leaving me facing my mother while cupping my junk, trying my best to hide it from her. I quickly looked around the room, noticing some girls run out the house, and some whip out their phones. Aw, I'm going to end up as someones screen saver! Guy's in prison will get this picture! Ugh, if I get an offer for _Playgirl _shoot me.

"H-hey Mom..." I chuckled nervously, backing up ever so slightly "...Enjoy your trip?"

"What the hell is going on in here!?" She cried, her eyes wide as she dropped her bag at her feet.

Ok...Think Edward, think...What would you normally do in a situation like this...Ok, I can't actually believe I asked myself that, but what the hell. Nothing I do or say surprises anyone these days. Might as well do the mature thing and just go for the truth...It's crazy enough anyway.

"Well..." I began, stuttering slightly before pointing at the little pixie currently shielding Jasper and his nakedness "It's _all_ Alice's fault!"

Yeah. Way mature Edward. Now I don't know who to be more afraid of. My Mom or the spikey haired girl who I know is just plotting her revenge as I speak.

"Alice is the reason why you're dancing half naked with your friends in my living room? Slapping your asses might I add" She began, glancing between me and the pissed looking pixie "Please explain."

"Well, you see, Esme..." Bella chimed in, coming to stand next to me before I embarrassed myself or anyone else any further "Alice and the guys threw me a surprise baby shower. We were lacking a little in the entertainment section, so Edward, Jasper and Emmett very kindly filled in by dancing to the YMCA while...stripping...Wow, that _does_ sound messed up!"

It sounded quite perverted actually.

"So...what I just walked into see was just a one time thing?" Esme asked, pointing to the three of us "I mean Edward you aren't becoming interested in..."

"Hell no!" I cried quickly, not even giving her enough time to _think _about finishing that sentence "I like girls! _Lot's_ of girls!"

Just as I said that, I knew I was going to regret it. Because the next thing I knew, Bella was pinging my ear.

"Ow!" I cried, rubbing it "What I meant to say was 'I like Bella! _Lot's_ of Bella'."

Aw Hell! That sounded even worse.

"Please kill me." I squeaked, turning to face my girlfriend with pleading eyes.

"What Edward's trying to say, Esme..." Bella began, saving me from further public humiliation "Is that he isn't interested in Emmett...Jasper, or _any_ boys for that matter...Only me."

Why couldn't I have said _that_!? _Because you're Edward-frickin'-Cullen, that's why, Stupid. _Oh yay! The 'arguing with myself' stage is back!

"Gotta say, little relieved." My Mother breathed out, breaking off my inner debate "Anyway...I'm just going to go unpack...You all just go back to doing...whatever it is you were doing..."

And just like that she was gone, leaving me standing in the living room with everyone staring at me. I could have kissed Emmett when he broke the awkward silence.

"Who's up for Scrabble?"  
**……………………………………………………………………………………………….**

_**Bella's POV**_

And now, the _'I've just been embarrassed by my Mom and room full of people' _award goes to...

Man...I cannot believe that that just happened. That has got to be one of _the_ most embarrassing moments of _my _life...and I wasn't even the naked one! Poor Edward. I wouldn't like to be him right now...no seriously, I really wouldn't. I mean the boy just had his sexual orientation questioned by his own mother! He's probably scard for life...although, I could say the same for Esme. I really hope that that sight hasn't damaged her health. Just because we like to see dancing naked Edward doesn't mean that she does. I doubt that he'll ever want to do that again now. But don't worry girls! I'll see what I can do. It would be cruel almost if we never got to ogle at him in that fire fighter uniform ever again. Hey...Maybe we should convince him to become a fireman!

The party wrapped up rather quickly, much to my liking. I mean don't get me wrong, what they all did for me was so kind and amazing, but quite tiering. I don't think it helped that I couldn't recognize half the people either. I collapsed onto the sofa with a sigh, closing my eyes as I basked in the silence. It was nice that I got a few _seconds _of normality a day. I couldn't imagine life without them.

"Well..." I heard Alice sigh as she flopped down next to me, linking arms as she rested her head on my shoulder "That was...eventful."

"Funny as hell is more like it." Rosalie giggled, joining me on my other side while copying Alice's actions.

We all laughed a little, remembering the sight of Emmett, Jasper and Edward shake their asses in those...well fitted boxer briefs...Those amazing...red...tight...STOP! For crying out loud Bella, it's only underware!

"Maybe for you." A velvet voice chimed from behind, snapping me out of my less than pure thoughts of my boyfriend "You didn't have your own mother get a glance at your manhood."

Turning round we saw Edward come towards us, unfortunately fully clothed. Like I said girls, don't worry. I'll see what I can do.

"Edward..." Rose began "Do I look like I _have _'manhood'?"

Rolling his eyes a little, Edward picked up a cushion from the couch and playfully hit Rosalie over the head with it, resulting in her glaring at him before sticking her tongue out.

"Hey, where's Jazz and Em?" Alice asked, breaking their playful banter.

"Oh, they're away home." Edward replied "They said that they were scared in case my Mom called their Mom's."

"Man..." Alice whined "I was supposed to get a ride home...Rose..."

"Ok." She sighed, hoisting herself up "Let's go."

"You're the best." Alice squealed, jumping up and hugging her "Bye guys..." She called as they headed for the door "Oh! And Edward, if you and Bella are going to use that fire fighter outfit for...other things...make sure you lock the doors."

"Good bye Alice." I called, biting back my smirk.

And then there were two. Sighing again, I made room for Edward on the couch, smiling when he pulled me against his chest as he lay back on the sofa.

"Why hello." I practically purred "I see you've sorted out your little clothing problem." I said glancing down at his faded jeans and blue t-shirt "...Although...I did quite like what you had on ealier...or should I say what you _didn't_ have on."

Chuckling, Edward leaned down and kissed me, one which I gratefully returned.

"So..." I began, pulling back for air as he trailed kisses down my neck "Tell me..._is_there a chance that I will get to see you in that should-be-illegal fire fighter uniform again anytime soon, or do you fear that it may pose hazardous to my health."

"I'm sure something can be arranged." He smirked, his hands running up and down my back "I just can't believe my mother walked in on me taking it off."

"Edward..." I giggled, rolling my eyes a little "Stop worrying about it. She's your mother. She's bound to have seen Eddie Jr. before."

"Not this big she hasn't!" He cried.

I couldn't help but laugh as I began to play with the hair on the nape of his neck as he pulled me in a little closer until I was practically lying on top of him, something that probably wasn't too good for _his _health. Seriously, If I sit on him long enough he'll have to be surgically removed from the couch.

"You know I'm still mad at you for leading me to believe that I was getting to see my baby today." I faked annoyance, my smile playing at the corners of my mouth, Edward's hands still running up my back.

"Hey!" He smirked "It's me. What do you expect. We can't have a day where nothing out of the ordinary happens! That would be plain weird."

"Yes." I giggled "A _whole_ day where we don't risk our lives or other peoples! I shudder at the thought."

"Hey, you wouldn't love me if I wasn't the way I was." He smiled.

"I guess you're right." I sighed in content as I rested my head against his chest "Maybe our crazy filled lives aren't so bad after all."  
**……………………………………………………………………………………………….**

_**Edward's POV**_

I couldn't believe how excited I was when the next day finally rolled along. The day where Bella was actually going to _get _her scan, so long as we didn't have a coffin crash into the side of the General, or piss off any more psychotic truckers. And apparently I wasn't the only excited one either. Bella was practically bouncing in her seat, looking out the window as if she were in a place like New York admiring all the sights. It was quite cute actually, in a scary sort of way. Kinda like a puppy on crystal meth.

"Are we nearly there yet!?" She cried, turning to face me with wide eyes.

"Not much longer Bells." I chuckled "But maybe you should calm down a little before we actually head into the hospital...You seem a little...Hyper."

"Calm down!? That's rich coming from you!" She bellowed through her laughter "I bet Alice doesn't think I'm being too 'hyper', right Alice."

"Right!" Alice cried from the back of the car, looking just as crazed as Bella.

"Which reminds me, Alice..." I began, glancing at her through the rear view mirror of the General "Why are you actually here?"

"Why Edward my dear friend..." She began, leaning forward a little to rest her arms on the back of our seats "Is it a crime that I want to be there when you find out the sex of my future godchild? You guy's are making me the Godmother right!?"

"Yes Alice." Bella giggled, rolling her eyes "Don't forget to tell him the other part though."

"Ok." She sighed "I also want to be there to say 'I told you so' when you find out that it's a boy." She admitted "Which you will! I just know it's a boy! I can feel it."

"Ok, that didn't sound wrong at all." I replied sarcasm dripping from my voice, as Alice huffed a little.

"So Edward, the male dancing thing. Is it full time or part time?" She retaliated, causing me to blush.

"How, Alice, is this 'never talking about it again'?" I asked, Bella close to hysterics.

"Oop's, my bad." She said innocently, batting her eye lashes.

Don't kill her. Do not kill her.

**~*My Best Friends Kid*~**

Half an hour later we were all sitting in the comfy room in the hospital, waiting patiently for the Ultra sound technician to arrive. Yeah right. Bella and Alice patient. Please. Alice was practically dancing round the room while Bella sat on the bed bouncing up and down. Was I the only sane one in the group! C'mon! I hate being the mature one! Ugh, if they don't calm down soon I'm going to have to do something stupid. I can't keep up this act for much longer.

"Now Alice." Bella began, gaining the pixies attention "Please don't do anything that will scare the technician, and _please _keep your little 'psychic' thoughts to yourself. Even if it's just for this one afternoon."

"Don't worry Bells." She smiled "I'll be good."

I sighed in relief as Alice took a seat in the corner, Bella shooting me a wink just as the technician came in. Thank goodness for that! I thought I was going to have to steal a wheelchair or pretend to be a doctor for a second there. Like I said. Mature and Me...It shouldn't even be used in the same sentence!

"Hi guys." The friendly technician from the first scan greeted "How you feeling today Bella?"

But Bella didn't even get to respond, because the next thing either of us knew, Alice was leaning forward with wide eyes, a scary smile threatening to rip her face in two.

"Boy or girl!? Boy or girl!? Boy or girl!? Boy or girl!?" She continued to chant over and over again, leaning forward more and more before grabbing the technician by the front of her white coat and pulling her forward until their foreheads were touching "BOY OR GIRL!?"

So much for Alice not doing anything to scare the technician. I think we may just be the first people to be banned from a public hospital.

"I'm so sorry, you'll have to excuse her." Bella began, placing a hand on Alice's small head and pulling her back "There's something in the water at her place."

"It's quite alright." The young woman replied, chuckling a little at Alice's appearance "Well then...let's see your baby."

Squealing a little, Bella lay back in the bed rolling her top up until it rested just below her boobs. Now, being her boyfriend and a guy, I can safely say that that is one great part in a womans pregnancy. They're huge! Smiling, I took a seat next to her, taking her hand in between my own before kissing it. This is it, the moment that we've been waiting for for weeks.

"So, not much longer now." The technician smiled, applying that blue gel to her stomach again.

"Nope." Bella beamed "I'm five months today."

I couldn't actually believe that it had been only five months. It felt so much longer. Bella and I hadn't even been together five months!

We fell back into a comfortable silence as the technician turned on the monitor, the familiar buzzing filling the room as she began to run the little camera thing over my girlfriends bump. My breath hitched when the image of our baby appeared before us. I couldn't believe how different the little guy looked. To think that he had grown that much in such a small amount of time.

"Oh my goodness!" Alice squealed, wiping tears from her eyes "That has got to be one of the most beautiful things that I have ever seen!"

Definitely.

I didn't realize how big my smile actually was until I felt Bella run her hand down my cheek as she giggled.

"What do you think?" She asked softly "Do you still think our baby looks like a chicken wing?"

"No..." I chuckled, turning my attention back to the screen "Now he's clearly morphed into Jabba the Hutt."

"Edward!" She cried, hitting me playfully "When we get home we're going to have some serious words about what you can and can't compare your child to."

Everyone just laughed as bent down and kissed Bella on the forehead.

"Can we please find out the sex?" She asked, her smile growing.

"Of course." The technician replied, running the camera over her stomach once again.

"Boy, boy, boy, boy, boy..." We heard Alice chant quietly.

"Congratulations on your healthy baby girl."

Oh my gosh! A girl...We're having a girl! I'll have a daughter! My own little baby girl!

"WE'RE HAVING A GIRL!" I cried, running to the door and flinging it open to scream at the fellow couples in the waiting room "We're having a girl!"

Closing the door, I cleared my throat and calmly made my way back to Bella's side.

"Sorry about that." I said "Had to get it out my system."

All Bella did was laugh, pulling me down for a kiss. A girl. Can you believe it! I'll have a little girl. My own little princess. This moment is just perfect. Nothing could ruin...or at least I thought so.

"Wait...what!?" Alice cried "A girl!? It's not a girl, it's a boy!"

"Alice...don't." Bella said with a nervous chuckle.

"No, it's a girl." The technician replied, looking at the screen a second time "I'm positive."

"Then what the hell do you call that!?" Alice cried, pointing to the screen where we saw...what I can only describe as...a penis really.

"The umbilical cord." The technician stated.

That explains it then. Girl it is.

"But..." Alice carried on "It...it can't be a girl. It's a boy. It has to be."

"Nope...it's a girl." The technician said, turning off the monitor.

"Face it Alice..." Bella began as the technician wiped the goo off her belly "This time...you were wrong."

Oh boy. Saying that can't be good.  
**……………………………………………………………………………………………….**

_**Bella's POV**_

I couldn't stop smiling as we made our way out of the hospital, Edward and I holding hands while looking at the picture of our baby girl as Alice slowly trailed behind. Poor Alice. I didn't expect her to take it this hard. So it's a girl. Doesn't mean that Edward and I won't have a boy in the future. But either way, boy or girl, I knew Alice wouldn't love the baby any less. My smile grew as Edward leaned down and placed a loving kiss on my forehead. The only thing that could make this day better was if Edward was wearing that sexy as hell uniform.

We were just about to cross the road towards the General, which I will admit was growing on, but stopped when I heard someone beside us.

"Oh my gosh!" Came the excited voice "Edward!?"

Turning, I almost gave birth then and there at who I saw.

"Holy shit!" Edward smiled "Jane!?"

I glanced between the two as they embraced in a hug.

"Guys, you remember my ex girlfriend Jane?"

Kill me.

**……………………………………………………………………………………………….**

**A/N: Soooo, what ya think? lol. I really hope you liked this chapter. I took me a while to try and get it perfect, but then I realized half way through writing it that it wasn't going to be. lol. But I enjoyed writing it all the same. I know it took 10 days to update, but for me these days, that's rather quick. lol. Please R&R and tell me what you think, and please continue to do my poll. Thanks :o)**

**Take Care :o)**


	41. Stapled His Report Card To His Forehead!

**A/N: Aw guys, thank you so much for all of those great reviews. They meant a lot :o)**

**I just can't believe the amount of feedback I'm getting. To think that I started this story because I was bored. lol. Wow. All I can say is that it has come a long way. Thank you so much for all those amazing reviews and words of encouragement :o)**

**I also want to bring up my other stories again. Please note that they are NOT forgotten about. I'm finding it increasingly difficult just to update this story, and if I continuously update the other two, then who knows when this one will finish. **

**This chapter is quite long but filled mainly with dialogue. It's a sorry gift for the delay. Please read all the way to the end. **

**This chapter is dedicated to **_**edwards-gurl123**_**. I hope this makes you feel a little better :o)  
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_**Bella's POV**_

Jane, Jane, Jane, Jane, JANE! That's all we heard on the way back to the damn house. Jane can tie a cherry stem in a knot with her tongue, Jane can say the alphabet backwards. Jane can do this, Jane can do that. Well do you know what!? Jane can go get her head stuck up an elephants ass for all I care! Never in my whole life have I met someone so annoying...Like this one time, she got the hiccups and they lasted for 10 whole minutes! Yeah...Ok, so that's not really a good excuse to be annoyed with her, but I am a hormonal pregnant woman who is allowed to have these rants from time to time. Anything can be classified as 'Annoying' to me in my current state! I hate her, I hate her, I HATE HER! Her with her stupid blonde hair and perfect blue eyes. Her flawless skin and legs that went on forever. Like I needed any of those things. I have good qualities too...like I don't have bad breath in the morning! Ha, beat that Jane...You know what!? I bet those hips of hers are fake! I don't even know if that's possible, but I'll look into it!

I couldn't help but glare out my window on the journey back to the Cullen house, Edward still prattling on about _Jane_. Ugh! Why does he not know when to shut up!? I mean come on! Even Emmett knows that talking about your _ex_-girlfriend in front of your _current _girlfriend is a big no no! They only dated for 2 months for crying out loud! You see, Edward and Jane met when they were fifteen...you know the age where you believe that those butterflies in your stomach is love, when really it's just the tuna surprise you had at lunch coming back up to say 'hello'. You can probably tell it was 'serious' too. I mean, they must have held hands and stuff. At that age that practically makes you married! I literately jumped for joy the day she announced that Edward and her had broken up. Something about him not being able to commit. Ha! Bet seeing the two of us together had been a shock to her. The break up was soon followed by even more great news however, because only three weeks later she gave me an early Christmas present by telling us that her and her family were moving to Italy! Life had never felt so good, even though I personally felt like Australia would be too close...maybe even Pluto...

Now, the question that you're all probably wondering is why on earth do I hate Jane so much. Well let me tell You! And it's not just the fact that she's stupid, spoiled, stupid, clingy, stupid, down right mean to people _and _stupid...But she got to make out with Edward first...and she stole my last raspberry and white chocolate chip cookie...What!? It was the biggest one! And I don't care what people say, but the fact that her car 'mysteriously' went missing that day had nothing to do with me. C'mon, it's not like I could break in and move it. At the age of fifteen I couldn't even break into a can of tuna flakes without Edward's help...Rosalie on the other hand...

"Hey..." Edward managed to spit out between fits of laughter "Do you remember the time when Jane shaved Mr. Wallace's head while he was sleeping."

Oh...My...Gosh! If it wasn't for the fact that I'm carrying his child, and the fact that I love him too damn much, then Edward would be in serious danger of holding his own testicles right about now.

"That was you Edward." Alice answered in a bored tone, picking at her nails "And let me tell you something. If you don't stop going on about Jane, _I'm _going to shave _your _head."

Now as much as I love Edward's hair, that does sound tempting round about now...But as tempting as it _does_sound we can't let that happen, can we? Edward's hair. I mean, c'mon. It's practically the boys trademark! It would be like Michael Jackson without his glove...Elvis Presley without his quiff...Adam Sandler without his egg shaped head. I was just thankful that my little pixie friend was on the same page as me however. I knew that she didn't care to much for the blonde bimbo either. Let's just say it wasn't just my man that Jane had taken an...intrest in.

"Oh, sorry." Edward replied, silence finally filling the car "...I just can't believe she's back!" So much for silence "Bells, isn't it great!?"

"Amazing!" I gushed, forcing what I assumed to be a realistic smile "I've really missed her." Like toothache "How longs it been? A year...a year and a half since we last saw her?"

"It's been three." Edward said, not really believing it himself.

"Oh...well it seems shorter." _A lot _shorter "Do you think she'll be...leaving any time soon?"

Please, please, please, please, please...

"Nope." Damn "No need to worry there Bells. She's back for good."; Oh...Goodie! "You know, you guys should meet up and get to know each other again. You know, do all that girly shit."

...Get. The. Razor...

**……………………………………………………………………………………………….**

_**Edward's POV**_

When we finally arrived back to the house I all but jumped out of the car, running round to Bella's side to open the door for her. Taking her hand, I helped her out flashing her an excited smile as I practically dragged her up the walk way, Alice quickly following us. I just couldn't wrap my mind around how amazing this day had actually been...It was kinda strange actually. It's well into the afternoon and I haven't put my life at risk once! Wow...maybe I'm finally starting to grow up...Yeah right. I tried saying that without laughing, but c'mon. This _is _me we're talking about. I can literally get into trouble by just standing still. Now that's what I call talent.

I practically kicked down the door, Bella laughing a little at my eagerness as I led her into the living room to find my parents, Charlie, Em, Jazz and Rose all standing with grins that looked like they could easily rip their faces in two. Glancing at Bella, my grip on her hand tightening, I smiled urging her to deliver the long awaited news to everyone. Rolling her eyes a little but leaning into my side, resting her head against my arm, she sighed, closing her eyes for a moment before the big announcement. Man, I know what we're having and _still_ the suspense is killing me.

"Well everyone..." She began, opening her eyes to see everyone lean forward a little in anticipation "You guys better be buying a lot of...pink."

"I knew it!" Cried my Dad, causing me to jump a little "Pay up Esme!"

"Damn it." Mumbled my Mom, handing my Dad $50.

All I can say Dad is that that money better be going towards my little girl...Hmm..._my _little girl. I love the sound of that. There were loud cheers, claps and whoops as everyone engulfed Bella and I in a group hug. I was immediately tackled by Emmett and Jasper, Emmett flinging me over his shoulder and spinning me round while cheering. Gee Em, if this is what you're like with my kid remind me to wear a helmet, knee pads...and maybe even a cup when you're expecting yours. You know...Just to be on the safe side.

"Aw Bells." Cried Rosalie, wiping tears from her eyes as she hugged Bella "I knew it was a girl."

"Yeah, well Alice is still choosing to live in denial." Bella chuckled, pulling the tiny girl over to join in on the celebration, draping her arm over her shoulder as Rosalie hugged her once more.

"I swear! It's a boy!" She exclaimed, crossing her arms over her chest "Umbilical cord my ass. Like that technician knows what she's talking about."

"Yeah, I mean she only trained in the field." I said sarcastically, stumbling a little once Emmett sat me down.

"Well, I'm happy." Bella smiled, quickly changing the subject "In just four months time, I'll be holding my beautiful little girl and everything will be great."

We were pulled into another large hug, Charlie and my Dad hugging while bawling like babies at the fact that they were going to have a gran daughter. Gotta say, seeing two grown men cry, one being Chief of Police and the other Chief of Medicine was a little...strange. And people worry about my sanity!

The rest of the day passed by rather slowly. After breaking the news to everyone (and when my Mom finally got Charlie and my Dad to stop crying), Bella, Alice and Rose decided that it would be a great idea to go to Port Angeles and celebrate. A girls day really. Not that I was bothered. I was in some desperate need of some 'guy time'. I mean, c'mon! I just spent the whole afternoon with Alice and survived! I _deserve _some guy time. Another minute with her and I'd probably be painting my nails and discussing how 'hot' that dude in that vampire movie is...Wow...no wonder people spend so much time wondering if I'm gay.

"Man!" Emmett boomed, his gaze never leaving the TV where he was currently destroying Jasper at the 'video game of the week' "I just can't believe Bells is having a little girl, Dude! I mean, I seriously thought it would be a boy."

"I know!" I exclaimed, grabbing a controller and joining the game "I mean, today has just been amazing. Not only did we find out about the baby, but guess who's back in town and just happened to run into me when we were coming out of the hospital?"

"...Santa?" Emmett questioned in excitement.

"...Yes Emmett..." I replied, nodding a little "Yeah, he was dropping the Easter Bunny off to get his annual rabies injection...Die, die, DIE!" I cried, shooting at Jasper.

"Aw dude!" He whined, throwing his controller down "That's it, I hate you guys. You never let me win."

"Jazz..." Emmett began "We were trying to let you win that time and you still lost."

"Try harder." He huffed, crossing his arms over his chest.

I couldn't help but roll my eyes at the bickering duo. Though nothing could really get me down today.

"So who did you meet?" Jasper finally asked, looking up at me from where he was sitting on the floor.

"Jane!" I exclaimed, not even trying to hide the excitement in my voice "You remember? My ex."

Ok, so calling Jane my ex probably isn't the best way to describe her. I mean, we did only 'date' for a couple of months, and nothing really went past hand holding and a few kisses. It wasn't as if we were deeply in love or anything. If I think back now, we were just really good friends. But Bella, nothing could top my friendship with her. I guess even when I was younger I had an unknown crush on her. Now I can't imagine my life as just being her friend. She's everything to me...Sorry, I got a little sappy there.

"Jane!?" Emmett boomed "Jane!? You bumped into Jane!?"

"You don't even know who Jane is, do you Em?" Jasper asked, his gaze never leaving the TV.

"Not a clue." Emmett replied, calming down instantly.

That didn't surprise me.

"Remember..." Jasper continued "Blonde. Blue eyes. Big boobs...Intelligence of a banana."

Wasn't going to deny _that_. She was like Emmett with boobs.

"Hot Girl!?" Emmett cried, his eyes wide as he threw down the controller and shot up, grabbing me by the shoulders and shaking me "Hot Girl's back!? Why didn't you tell me Hot Girl was back!?"

"Emmett..." I began, prying myself out of his grip "Calm down. Yes she's back in town. Her Dad must be working at the hospital again."

"So what did you say to her?" Jasper asked, looking just as worked up as Emmett "Was she happy to see you? Did she recognize you? Does she know that you got Bella pregnant!"

"Whoa!" I cried "Now You need to calm down. Yes, she recognized me. We hugged, she seemed happy enough to see me _and _Bella, and yes she obviously knows about the baby. I mean, c'mon....Bells can't exactly hide the fact anymore. Man, you guys seem more worked up than I do!"

There was silence. Probably a first from these two. They just stood there, staring back at me in disbelief. I actually began to think that maybe I had imagined everything I had just said...that was until I was slapped up the back of the head from not only Jasper, but Emmett too! You can tell that our friendship really means a lot to them.

"Ow and _ow_!" I cried, rubbing each side of my head "What the hell was that for!?"

"Are you insane!" Jasper cried "You don't hug your ex-girlfriend in front of you current girlfriend. What's the matter with you!?"

"And people say I'm the stupid one!" Emmett scoffed "After that, you're the stupid one! S.T.O.O...O...pid! Stupid! Can you imagine how Bella felt!?"

"What?" I asked in confusion "Don't be silly. Bella's fine. You know I bet her, Rose and Alice are away planning a welcome back surprise for her as we speak."  
**……………………………………………………………………………………………….**

_**Bella's POV**_

"Ooh!" I cried in excitement "We could TP her house!"

_This _had been me for the past 2 hours. Once breaking the news to everyone that Edward and I were going to have a baby girl, I quickly grabbed Rose and Alice and dragged them out the house. Jane was back in town and I was in some serious need of ranting...not that I hadn't been ranting since I left the hospital, but I don't really think it counts when it's only me who can hear it. After grabbing a quick lunch with the girls, we quickly returned to Rosalie's house, locking ourselves in her bedroom to try and sort this..._thing _out! Jane being back in town was bad news. I just knew it!

"Yeah!" Rose agreed, coming to sit next to me on the large pink bed as her smile practically blinded me "Nothing says _'Welcome back bitch'_ better than toilet paper. I love it!"

Yeah...Rose didn't really like her either.

"No." Alice quickly chimed in, pacing a little "It's too easy. We need to be smart....quick...cunning..." Suddenly she stopped, snapping round to face us with excitement in her eyes "Let's steal her shoes!"

Oh my goodness! It's happened! I mean, I thought it would one day...just never this soon...Alice, Rose and I were turning into...THE GUYS...Ah, who the hell cares? It could be worse. Right?

"Seriously Alice..." Rosalie sounded "Steal her shoes? Just because You went all psycho loony pixie bitch on Edward when he stole yours, does not mean that we will have the same reaction from Jane."

"I did not go all 'psycho loony pixie bitch' on him!" Cried my friend in defense.

Yeah right! And Emmett doesn't collect Cabbage Patch Kids...Ooh..._Secretly_ collect Cabbage Patch Kids.

"You stapled his report card to his forehead!" I cried.

"Hey!" Alice exclaimed "He was proud of that C+ for Biology! I was just letting him share it with the world...stupid messy haired high heel stealing prick. What the hell did he need Gucci sandles for anyway!?"

"Emmett wanted them for his snowman." Rosalie stated as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

I rolled my eyes, laughing a little as Alice slumped down into the bean bag chair, cursing my boyfriend and snowmen.

"Think happy thoughts Alice." I giggled as my phone began to ring, smiling at the Caller ID when I saw who it was "Hi Babe..."

"_Bells!_" Edward bellowed down the phone "_I just got a phone call and you'll never guess who it was from!" _I could practically hear the smile in his voice

"Hmm...Santa?" I joked, leaning back a little.

"_Why is _everyone _saying that today_?" He murmured, which seemed to be more to himself than to me "_You see Bells, I think that Santa would find it increasingly difficult to come visit us due to his busy work schedule, and the fact that he's not real."_

"Ugh!" I cried in mock hurt "Thank's Edward! This is just like the time when you told me Bambi's Mom died!"

"Bambi's Mom died!?" Alice shrieked, snapping round to face a worried looking Rosalie "You told me she went to play poker with the rabbits!"

Edward chuckled a little, causing a laugh to escape from my own lips.

"Ok..." I said through my laughter Who's this wonderful person that called you?"

_"Jane!" _

Say what!? Jane!? Jane called him!? I knew it! I knew this was bad! Didn't I say this was bad!? She was back in town less than two minutes, and already she's trying to swoop in a steal _my _boyfriend. Well not if I can help it! That little blonde barbie isn't even going to get close enough to breathe on Edward let alone steal him away. Ugh! This is so typical of her. She always wants things that she can't have! Stupid...stupid head...Note to self, come up with better insults.

"_Bells..._" Edward's musical voice broke me out of my inner rant _"You still there?"_

"Here!" I called, feigning excitement "What was she wanting?"

_"She was just inviting me over for dinner, so I'm going to head over to her place in a few minutes." _He answered _"Is that ok with you?"_

"Yeah, of course." I replied, trying increasingly hard to keep my voice light and cheery, when really it should probably sound something that belonged in 'The Excorsist' "You have a nice time, and just call me when you're heading home. Ok?"

"_Ok._" He replied, the smile back in his voice _"I'll see you later. I love you. Bye Beautiful."_

"I love you too." I smiled, almost forgetting what our conversation had been about "Bye."

Hanging up, I sighed a little, a dreamy smile gracing my face. Hehe...Edward called _me_ beautiful...Ha! Suck on that Jane!

"Ok guys." I announced, quickly coming back to reality "Things just got serious!

"What do you mean?" Rosalie asked, panicked slightly.

"She's invited him for dinner!" I cried.

"Well what are you gonna do?" Alice asked.

"Oh, I have something in mind..." I replied "But I'll need you guys to help."

This bitch is going down...Right after I pee.  
**……………………………………………………………………………………………….**

_**Edward's POV**_

"Were you born this big of an idiot or did it develop through time?" Jasper asked as I looked in the mirror, fixing my hair a little "I mean, your _ex_-girlfriend is back in town a whole 2 seconds, and already she's inviting you round for dinner, knowing fine well that you're in a committed relationship with Bella and expecting a baby with her...Is it just me who sees this going horribly wrong!? Do you really expect Bella to be 'fine' with this?"

"Jasper!" I finally bellowed, turning to face my friend with a slight chuckle "I've already called Bells, and yes she is happy for me to go. Why are you so damn worried?"

"Gee, I don't know Edward." He replied "Maybe because when her first boyfriend, Gary looked at another girl, she sat on him and pulled his leg hair out with tweezers! And might I remind you, she wasn't pregnant at that time." With worried eyes, Jasper leaned in a little and whispered "Just imagine where she'll pull the hair out from you."

Oh hell, that hurt even just thinking about it! But I wasn't going to let Jasper's worry affect me. Yes, I'll admit I was...terrified of Bells, but I was happy that Jane had called. Even with our past she was still a good friend of mine. What was the big deal about having dinner with her?

"Jasper's right man." Emmett decided to chime in "Bella's nuts. Do you really want to take the risk. She'll make you eat your own foot!"

Sighing and rolling my eyes a little, I chuckled. When did my friends start acting like worried mothers?

"Bella is not nuts...she's hormonal..." I defended, turning towards the door "Now, if you'll kindly shut the hell up and excuse me, I'm late for dinner."

"Oh my gosh!" Jasper shrieked, clutching at his hair as I walked out the room "It's like talking to a fridge!"

**~*My Best Friends Kid*~**

Ok...Just stay calm Edward. Stay calm. Remember. Bella _did _say that she was happy enough for you to go an see Jane. She wouldn't lie to you...although she did manage to convince you that you were a girl for the first four years of your life...No! She was only a kid then. Emmett and Jasper were just trying to scare me. That was all...but damn, I'd be lying if I said it wasn't working. Some friends! I've got one telling me I'm 'stoopid', and the other telling me that hair from certain 'areas' in my body will be removed by force...I want my Mommy. Least she won't call me stupid...to my face.

The drive to Jane's house had been surprisingly quick. Although I missed my Volvo, I had to admit...the General was growing on me. Plus...the Dixie Horn kicked ass! I was actually going to miss the piece of junk. Just don't tell Bella I said that.

"Holy shit." I mumbled, getting out of the car and looking up at the house...The _big _house "Does Oprah live with them or something!?"

"Edward!" Came the cry from Jane, who was standing at the front door waving "You made it!"

"Hey." I smiled, walking up the path way to immediately be enveloped in a hug.

"I'm so glad you're here." Jane beamed "Dinner should be ready in about half an hour. C'mon in."

I walked into the house, looking around in awe. Yup. Definately Oprah type shit here.

**……………………………………………………………………………………………….**

_**Bella's POV**_

Ok, I think round about now it's safe to say that I have completely and utterly lost it. But the plan was brilliant. The plan was perfect...only one little problem though...the plan was probably illegal in all 50 states of America. Alice and Rose hadn't stopped telling me that since we left the house. They hadn't quite grasped the idea of it yet.

"Oh my gosh!" Rosalie whispered, shaking her head in disbelief as I peered from my hiding spot "You were being serious. This!? This is your 'amazing' plan!?"

"We're going to jail for this. We are _so _going to jail for this." Alice joined in, whining a little "When did you become your boyfriend!?"

"Oh guys, calm down." I turned round to scold, rolling my eyes a little "It's not that bad."

"Bella!" Alice cried, grabbing my shoulder's and shaking me a little "You dragged us out into the pouring rain on a Saturday night so you could break into your boyfriends ex-_girlfriends _house!"

"...Well when you say it like _that_..." I exclaimed "And technically we're not breaking in. We're simply...visiting...without permission."

Ok...so maybe it did sound a little...idiotic, but I bet you guys would do the exact same if you were in my position. Rosalie and Alice simply grumbled, rolling their eyes as the slide down the side of Jane's house, our little hiding place. I couldn't help but smile a little as I turned back round to peer once again over the bush that was currently hiding us. Yup, that's right. We're hiding in a flower bed. Very original, I know.

"He's here!" I whispered urgently as I saw the General pull up, snapping me out of my thoughts.

Quickly, Rosalie and Alice got up, coming to stand on either side of me to watch Edward get out the car. Oh...I feel bad spying on him. _Great, now your concionce kicks in! _But it wasn't Edward that I didn't trust. It was Jane. And speaking of the blonde airhead, look who's just appeared at the front door...And she's hugging him!

"I'll kill her." I stated in a raspy voice, Alice and Rosalie holding me back from sitting on her "I swear, I'm going to sit on her so long that even her cleaning crew won't be able to dig her out of the ground."

"Bella, just stay calm." Alice said in a soothing voice "Like you said to me earlier. Think happy thought..._Rain drops on roses and whiskers on kittens_....uhh..._Something and something and something with mittens_...Uhh..._Snow bells and strudel and string and...bumble bees_?"

"Thank you Alice, I'm calm." I quickly replied as Jane led Edward into the large house, closing the door "Follow me..."

Making sure to keep low and well hidden, I led Alice and Rosalie round the back of the house where I was happy to see a window open. I couldn't stop the smile that was forming.

"Bella...No." Rosalie panicked "Let's just go home. We can kick over her garden gnomes before we go if it'll make you feel any better, but let's go."

"Rose..." I began, turning to face my friend "Imagine that that was Emmett in there who Jane was trying to get her grubby paws on. Imagine that she was cooking him dinner...hugging him...flirting with him..." I leaned in a little and whispered "Playing video games with him."

"Oh hell no." Rose exclaimed "That bitch can stay away from my teddy bear."

Rose all but jumped through that window.

Once we all managed to get through the window which believe me, was really difficult, the three of us looked around the dark room, soon realizing that it was Jane's bedroom.

"Hey...when we're here..." Alice whispered "We should really have a warning word...like help, or danger, or...ooh I know, spoons!"

"Ok." I whispered "As of now, our warning word is spoons."

"Why spoons?" Rosalie questioned.

"Because they're awesome and you can eat anything with them." Alice smiled, crossing her arms over her chest.

"You can't eat pork chops with them." I stated, a little confused.

"Nope, you can." Rose replied "Emmett managed it."

"I thought Emmett hated pork." I said.

"He doesn't if he thinks it's lamb." My blonde friend smirked.

I couldn't help but chuckle a little.

"Ok, let's go!"

We walked out of the room, peering round the door just in time to see Jane lead Edward into the kitchen. Good. Quietly, I began to tip toe down the hall, Rose and Alice following close behind. Looking over my shoulder, I motioned for them to follow me upstairs. We'd be able to see everything from the landing up there. We slowly crept up the stairs, trying hard to avoid all the creaks, but soon we were at the top. God must be on my side tonight, because just as we sunk to the floor to watch from between the bars on the banister, Jane and Edward came back out and took a seat on the sofa.

"I can't see properly..." I whispered, trying to look between the spaces "Oh, I know..."

Quietly, I pushed my head in between the bars, giving me a perfect view of my boyfriend and the bimbo.

"Bella, be careful." Rose whispered in a panic.

"Don't worry." I giggled quietly, trying to pull my head out from between the bars...only I couldn't do it "I'm stuck!"

"What!?" Alice and Rose said in unison.

"I'm stuck!" I whispered again, trying harder and harder to pull my head out "Quick, grab me and pull."

This...cannot be good.  
**……………………………………………………………………………………………….**

_**Edward's POV**_

After a quick tour round the house, which I had to admit was really nice, Jane led me back to the sofa, taking a seat and motioning me to join her. Smiling I sat down. It was quiet, something I really wasn't used to. The only sound was the rain beating heavily against the windows.

"Oh my gosh..." She said, bringing me out of my thoughts "I just can't believe you and Bella are finally together. You make such a gorgeous couple."

See, isn't she nice? I had to admit, Jane had changed a lot over the past few years. For starters, she was no longer stupid, but incredibly smart. Guess Europe does that to you.

"Thanks." I blushed.

"And a baby on the way!?" She smiled in excitement "I can just see it now. You with your little girl. I guess I was wrong about you not being able to commit all those years ago...You're going to make a wonderful father Edward."

"That means a lot Jane." I smiled "I guess you just need the right person to commit to."

Ugh, what the hell is happening to me!? Did that sound as cheesey to you guys as it did to me?

"How's the pregnancy going then?" Jane asked, leaning her head on her hand.

"Oh great." I replied "Apart from Bella peeing like Seabiscuit every five seconds, everything's great...She's already adapting to motherhood...but I guess she's had a lot of practise with me." I chuckled a little "She's just...amazing, and I can tell that she's _really _looking forward to the baby coming. She's going to be a great Mom."

Jane smiled, her eyes glistening as I poured my heart out about my girlfriend...and that's when I saw it. Something that I never thought I would every see in the history of the world! Bella, sitting on the upstairs landing with her head stuck in between the bars of the banister, Rose and Alice trying to pull her free from behind. Oh good lord! Not good! NOT GOOD AT ALL! My eyes went wide, Jane's words drowning out as I caught Bella's panicked eyes. I didn't know what the hell I was going to do when she mouthed the words 'help me!'. Ok, think Edward...think...you're great at improvising. I couldn't help but panic when Jane stood up. Crap! She was going to see her!

"JANE!" I cried, throwing my self at the petite blonde and enveloping her in a bone crushing hug, never taking my eyes off of Bella "I've missed you!"

"Uh..." She chuckled slightly "I've missed you too Edward...I need to go check on the food."

Pulling out of my hug, Jane turned once again, Bella still trying to get her head out from the stairs. What do I do, what do I do!?

"What's that?" I cried suddenly, pointing behind me.

Following the direction I was pointing in, Jane gave me a strange look.

"...That's a light, Edward." She replied.

"Oh...it's pretty."

It's pretty!? What are you, a five year old girl!? Giving me a worried smile, Jane was about to turn round once again. Crap, I'm really starting to run out of ideas here. You know, getting your head unstuck right about now Bella would be _really_ helpful.

"Uh...Uh..." I looked around, trying to find something to distract her with...then it hit me "Jane! I love you!"

"You what!?" She cried in alarm.

"YOU WHAT!?" I heard Bella cry from the stairs.

Ok...not really going according to plan. Turning in fright, Jane was shocked to see my girlfriend with her head between the bars on her stairs.

"Bella!" She exclaimed.

"Spoons, spoons, spoons, spoons, spoons..." Was all she could mumble

**~*MyBest Friends Kid*~**

By the time we got home, and by the time the fire department had managed to cut Bella free from the stairs, I drove us home Bella immediately going into the backyard and lying down on the old trampoline that sat in the corner of the garden. Smiling a little, I followed her, climbing onto the old toy too and lying down beside her.

Quick Edward...break the silence...

"...Can you imagine having sex on this thing?" I asked, bouncing slightly "It would be like, thrust - bounce, thrust - bounce..."

She remained silent, staring up at the now cloudless sky.

"...Bells..." I began, more serious "You know you can talk to me. I'm not going anywhere."

"...I'm just really sorry about tonight." She finally sighed "I wasn't there spying on you I just...Jane and I...we never really got on in the past, and I just thought that...maybe she was trying to steal you away from me."

I smiled a little again, taking her hand in mine. Sorry guys, but I'm about to get a little mushy here, so be warned.

"Bella..." I began "I don't want Jane."

"You don't?" She turned to face me.

"No." I replied with a smile "I want the amazing girl that I wake next to every morning. The one who makes me laugh even when I'm sad. The one who isn't afraid to be herself...I want you Bella...Always...I love you...I love you more than you know."

Smiling, she scooted closer to me, wrapping her arm around my chest as she snuggled in.

"I love you too." She replied "Always."

Smiling, I kissed the top of her head.

"But you have to promise me one thing though..." I began, causing her to sit up and look at me.

"Anything."

"You have to promise me that one day...we are definitely going to try sex on this thing."

I bounced again slightly, Bella laughing. Hey, what can I say? When have you known me to stay serious for long?  
**……………………………………………………………………………………………….**

**A/N: Ok, for starters I would like to apologize for the major delay. I know I don't usually update quickly, but I never take this long. But, I do have a good excuse. Remember when I told you guys that I was a lot like the Edward in my story, and always managed to get into trouble or hurt myself...well let's just put it this way. Me and a flight of stairs...yeah, we don't really mix. lol. **

**Secondly, I would also like to apologize for this chapter. Just a warning for all you fellow writers out there, DON'T leave on a cliffhanger and then have no idea what to write next. I'm also sorry that it's not that funny, but the truth is that I'm so doped up on pain medication right now that I'd probably find a brick amusing. **

**And thirdly...or fourthly, The length of the chapter. I know it's **_**way **_**too long, but as I like to think, better way too long than way too short. So please review, and tell me what to think...But please, don't be too harsh. I don't think my little doped up self could handle it. lol. Thanks and Take care. Byeeeee!**

**I actually know what's coming next. PROGRESS! lol :o)**


	42. Just A Little Note To Say

_**Just a little note to say...**_

_**...I'm Sorry :o(**_

**Hey Dude's and Dudette's.**

**Ok, so you guys all probably hate me right now, what with the lack of updates and the fact that this isn't a new chapter.**

**But the truth is I've had one hell of a month, and a lot of stuff has been out with my control.**

**I ended up getting a new job that took away all my personal time. Seriously, I was working 75 hours a week. But**

**that soon ended. I also ended up getting the Swine Flu and was really ill for a while, and I'm still not feeling**

**too great.**

**Just when I thought that I would have the energy and time to write, my Internet went out for ages. I was going **_**slightly **_**crazy. Everything**

**was happening to STOP me from getting this chapter out.**

**As you know from the last chapter, I had a little...incident, with a flight of stairs and was on a **_**lot **_**of pain medication**

**that was making me a little loopy **_**(i.e standing in the middle of shops laughing at pumpkins)**_**. That was**

**also a reason why the story was put on hold.**

**Oh wait...there's more. My Dad has been really ill lately, so my mind has been elsewhere.**

**Not good to try and write a comedy when you're acting more depressed than Eeyore.**

**And finally, I got my finger stuck in a pez dispenser. Not really that serious, but it sure does make writing a hell of **

**a lot more difficult. Those things are worse than Chinese finger traps.**

**So that's basically my month summed up guys. I really hope that I haven't lost any of you amazing readers. I know that people always thank those who read their stories and stuff ****but I'm not kidding when I say that your reviews and kind words of encouragement mean a lot. I just want to make people laugh and be happy, and you guys are the ones that have ****made me continue writing. You make me feel like I'm actually doing something worthwhile. If you manage to make even one person smile in a day ****then you're doing something right. Not everything in the world today has to be depressing.**

**So I hope you forgive me. My Best Friends Kid has been nominated in the Best Stories of 2009, but it needs at least 2-3 more**

**nominations. So if you want, please nominate it for any category you think it fits in the link below:**

**www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/topic/66481/20624122/1/**

**Thanks, and I love you guys :o)**

**Bye for now. New chapter up SOON :o)**


	43. That Was One Time! And You Did Not Die!

**A/N: Aw guys, thank you so much for all of those wonderful reviews and get well messages. And thank you even more for the HUGE wait. lol.**

**I must admit, I was a little worried about the response for the last chapter. I didn't know how many of you would like the fact that Bella was the one getting involved in the crazy antics instead of Edward, but I was surprised at how many of you actually liked it. But don't worry all you Edward lovers, it's not like everything is all of a sudden going to be boring for him from here on out. We've still got a lot of funny moments (Hopefully) to come from him. My mind is just buzzing with ideas. I'm actually considering writing a chapter where he and Bella get into them together. What do you think? Let me know, but for the mean time...enjoy :o)**

**Another very long chapter, but again filled with a lot of dialogue. Hope you enjoy :o)**

**Ooh! 'My Best Friends Kid' received a couple of Polish Awards! Yay! **

* * *

_**Edward's POV**_

You know, I'm often classified as the 'stupid' one in my family. The one who constantly goes looking for trouble. The one who will stay on the phone to a kid in Australia for an hour just to see if their toilet water spins the other way...not that I've ever done that you know..._and_ the one who is most likely to put their hand in a fire to see if it's hot...not that I did that either...recently anyway. The point is, I'm the stupid one and everyone feels the need to keep reminding me...and right now, I'm going to have to agree with . You guys probably want to know what the hell I've done _this_ time. Well, we'll get to that in a minute, but first I'm going to start right from the beginning.

It had been like any other normal day. Up early, shower, dress, school, cut school, get _caught_ cutting school, detention, sneak out of detention, get _caught_ sneaking out of detention, more detention then home. You know...normal...for me any way. That was until I decided that it would be a 'great' idea to go house hunting with the guys all afternoon. Can you sense the sarcasm? All I can say is...What the _hell _was I thinking...

"RUN!" I screamed at the top of my lungs, not really caring that I sounded like a five year old girl.

"Right behind you!" Jasper cried his voice about 7 octaves higher as he swiftly over took me "Now I'm right in front of you!"

"Did you guys see that place!?" I asked, climbing into the General rather quickly "I swear...those kids probably play Russian Roulette for fun!"

"I know!" Jasper exclaimed, not even bothering to open the door, finding that climbing in through the window would be a quicker option.

"Oh c'mon guys!" Emmett smirked as I kicked the car into gear and got the hell out of there "It wasn't _that _bad! Those kids seemed quite nice. Did you see the nice chalk picture of the man on the floor at that apartment!? I wish someone would draw me with chalk."

"No you don't!" I all but cried, glancing at my friend in alarm "Ok...so I think it's safe to say that that place was definitely on the 'No' list. Agreed?"

No list!? Hell, if that place burned down tonight it wouldn't be a waste! That was what I could only describe as Washington's version of Queens!

"Hell yeah!" Jasper exclaimed. I swear the guy looks like he's about to take a seizure at any second "Those punk ass kids stole one of my shoes!"

"So where's the other one then?" Emmett asked with a smirk, glancing down at our friend's bare feet.

"I may have...thrown it in defence." Jasper mumbled slightly before turning to face me "Please tell me that the next house you're taking us to does _not _have a toilet in its living room or put us at risk of contracting AIDS!"

"Would you relax?" I chuckled "We've got one house left to have a look at and no Jasper, this house will not put you at risk of death."

"That's all I ask." Jasper replied.

I couldn't help but laugh as he sighed in relief, sitting back in his seat as we continued on our journey to the next house. Yeah, something tells me that Bella wouldn't really appreciate an apartment that had more families of the rodent variety living in it than human. That and...Those gay guys down the hall were coming on to me!

The drive to the last house on the list was spent mainly in silence, Jasper rubbing his cold feet, probably missing his shoes while Emmett took pictures of the back of his own head. Yeah, he confuses me too. I'll admit that I didn't really have high hopes for the next house. After the place that we had just visited, which was so scary that it literately made me clench my butthole in fear, I began to think that maybe this little task that we had set ourselves was hopeless...That was until we drove into the street that could potentially become my new home. And all I could say was;

"Holy shiitake mushrooms!"

The street looked awesome. No creepy looking kids, broken windows or needles anywhere in sight. Plus not one house had a burning car sitting in their driveway! You can never go wrong there. Yep, this place would do just nicely. Deciding that it was probably best to park the General at the bottom of the street, Emmett, Jasper and I began to make our way towards the house.

"Now _this _is more like it!" Jasper exclaimed, looking round the street.

"Dude..." Emmett began "How the hell do you expect to pay for this? You can barely buy a pack of gum let alone a house."

Oh Emmett you crack me up. You'd think that over ten years of friendship he'd know me by now.

"Simple." I replied with a smirk "By doing this...I love you, Mommy."

We laughed, soon coming to a stop in front of a nice looking house with a 'Sale' sign in the yard. We stood and stared up at the house in all its glory and I had to admit...It was stunning. All that was missing was the 'Hallelujah' chorus. I could actually picture myself raising a family here. I could see Bella sitting on the porch steps, smiling as I tried to teach our kids how to ride their bikes in the driveway. We would sit out here on the fourth of July and watch the fireworks, and then at Christmas build snowmen in the front yard. We would have a basketball hoop and a treehouse. Maybe even a dog...Hold on! I said 'maybe'. I couldn't help but smile as the picture began to develop in my head. This was the place. Hell, I hadn't even stepped foot inside yet and already this was _the _house. This was home.

"Uhh...Edward..." I faintly heard Jasper say.

"Jazz!" Emmett scolded "Can't you see the boy is gazing dreamily into the future like a complete idiot!? Give him a minute!"

Thank you, Emmett!

"So I'll just tell him that his Dad is here later then?"

Ok. Rewind and freeze! My Dad's here? Snapping out of my daydream I glanced up to where Jasper was pointing, and sure enough there was my Dad...HUGGING ANOTHER WOMAN!? What the hell!? My eyes went wide, my jaw practically hitting the curb as I watched my _Father _and that stick thin blonde...BIMBO, hug it up on the porch. _My _porch! Well...future porch. Ugh! That dick! He told me and my Mom that he was working late tonight. But _no_. Instead he's too busy groping 'Miss America 1983'! You know, seeing these sorts of things _cannot _be good for my stupidity levels. I had a good mind to go and kick ten shades of shit out of him, but of course the minute that he pulled out of that 'hug' I chickened out. What? The guy gives me my allowance! All I wanted was to get the hell out of there and fast!

I began to look around frantically, mentally kicking myself for parking down at the other end of the street. There was no way that the three of us would get back to the car without being noticed. And by the way that Emmett and Jasper are running away like frightened little girls, I'm guessing that they felt the same way too because the next thing I knew, Jasper was hiding behind a car and Emmett was half way up a tree. Gee guys, thanks. A little heads up would have been nice. I'll just stand here and pretend to be invisible. Oh, better yet, I could hide behind my finger! He'll _never _know I was here. Or I could close my eyes! If I can't see him, he can't see me. Right?

I began to panic. I had to find a place to hide and fast! So...I did the only thing that I could think of...The ostrich effect. All I can say is...I really hope Emmett and Jasper can get me out of this one. Only this time, I mean literately.  


* * *

_**Bella's POV**_

Love...Isn't it just _amazing_! I was in love with Edward Cullen...not that that is anything new to you guys, but lately I just couldn't say it enough. A week had passed since my little...escapade at Jane's house, and no one was letting me live it down. Not even Esme! When she found out about my little...mishap (That's what I'm calling it. 'Moment of stupidity' seems too...Edward-ish) she ended up giving me a bottle of WD-40 as a present and said '_You know...just in case_'. You had to laugh though. But even with all the jokes and humiliation that I was receiving, I had to admit that the past week had been one of my best. And it was all because of my wonderful boyfriend. I just couldn't believe how great he had been that night, trying everything to help me out. He's just the greatest. Smiling, I let out a dreamy sigh as Rosalie and Alice continued to channel surf. Hmm...I wonder what he's doing right now?

"Oh my gosh!" Rosalie cried, throwing the TV remote down "Are you thinking about Edward _again_!?"

"Uh-huh." I giggled like a five year old, causing Alice to smile.

"Aww..." My pixie friend cooed, clasping her hands in excitement "I just love it when she acts like this. I think she looks cute."

"Really?" Rosalie asked in disbelief "I personally think she looks like she's on crack."

"Rosalie dear..." I sighed, my smile never faltering "I'm in love, not deaf."

Laughing a little, I ducked as Rose launched a couch cushion in my direction.

"Ok, ok, ok..." I laughed, sitting up a little straighter "I'll stop. What do you guys want to talk about?"

"I think we should talk about spoons." Alice smirked, keeping her gaze fixed on the TV,

"Ugh..." I smirked, covering my face with my hands to hide my embarrassment "Will you guys _ever _let me live that down? I apologized to Jane...and Edward...and the fire department!"

"We'll let you live it down when that dear boyfriend of yours does something to top it." Rosalie replied "But I gotta say Bella, with the way Edward's been acting lately...That could be some time."

I had to agree with her there. Edward seemed to be growing up almost...Damn it! I mean, it was just yesterday when I said 'vagina' and he only laughed for fifteen minutes! I didn't even have to go and get the paper bag! And no, before you ask, he was not on drugs. I guess maturity is finally beginning to hit him...although I did walk in on him, Emmett and Jasper the other day playing with Star Wars figures. Poor Jasper. Why does he always get forced into being the girl?

"I guess he's just starting to think more rationally before he puts his thoughts into actions." I smiled.

And this, boys and girls concludes today's events...yeah right. When have you ever seen us go through a day of _complete _normality? Nope, I would love to say that this is where we end today. Smiling...happy...no one's lives endangered...but if I did, we really wouldn't have a story to tell, and I'm guessing that you guys are just _dying_ to find out what our crazy ass adventures will hold this time...I just hope it doesn't involve stairs. Ok, so prepare for the 'fun' to begin in 5...4...3...2...

"BELLA!"

Wow Emmett, right on cue.

"Bella!" Emmett cried once more causing that familiar sudden wave of panic to wash over me. Oh how I've missed that "Bella!"

"Emmett!?" I began, slowly getting to my feet as he ran into the living room "Emmett...what happened...what's wrong?"

But he didn't answer. He just stood there, hunched over with his hands on his knees gasping for air. Oh good lord they've killed someone! I knew it! I knew this day would come. Oh they're going to make us help hide the body. We're going to jail. My child will be born behind bars! Her first words will be 'Give me your money bitch!'. I'm so going to kill Edward!

"All I'm saying is..." He finally managed to splutter, snapping me out of my nightmare "I didn't do it!"

...Yup, they've killed someone.

"Do what babe?" Rosalie questioned, panic dancing in her own eyes "What happened?"

But again he didn't reply. All he did was look at the floor and point behind him. Ugh! Men! Why can't they just explain the situation instead of dragging it out? I swear, it's like they have a rule for it or something. We stood there, staring at the empty doorway that Emmett pointed to for what felt like hours, still confused as to what was actually going on...and then we saw it. I swear, I about dropped the kid then and there. My jaw hit the floor, my arms that were once crossed over my chest fell to my sides as I watched Jasper lead, who I presumed to be Edward into the living room.

"Edward!?" I finally managed to splutter out "Is..is that you!?"

"Hey Bells..." Came his muffled voice "...Have a good afternoon?"

I couldn't talk. I couldn't blink. Hell I couldn't even breathe, because there in front of me stood my boyfriend...with a mailbox stuck on his head!?

"...Look on the bright side..." Jasper finally spoke, breaking the silence "At least you'll never lose him in a crowd."

"Not helping, man." Edward mumbled.

"Hehe...Watch this..." Emmett giggled, his panic completely gone as he raised the red flag that was situated at the side of the box "You got mail Bells."

"Emmett!" Came Edward's muffled reply

"What happened!?" I shrieked running over to him, ignoring Emmett as I frantically began pulling at the tin can that was stuck on my boyfriends head "How the hell did you get your head stuck in a mailbox!?"

"Ow!" Edward yelled as I continued to yank "Long story short, I was hiding."

Ok, I know Edward has done some crazy stuff in his life...more so in the past 6 months, but seriously, hiding!? Hiding from what? The mailman?

"Uh, Bells..." Rosalie spoke, trying to contain her laughter by biting her thumb nail "He's topped it."

Not a good time Rose!

"Oh Babe..." I sighed as I stopped pulling, running a hand through my hair as the other rested on my bump "We'll get it off OK, just please tell me what...the _hell _possessed you to stick your head in that thing! Either that thing's welded on or you have freakishly big ears!"

"Hey! They are not big...they just grew a little bit more than the rest of my head!" He defended, crossing his arms over his chest, which I will admit, looked pretty funny "But the truth is..." He carried on "We went to look at some houses...you know, to surprise you..." Aw, isn't he the sweetest "But just when we found the _perfect _house, my Dad walks out in the arms of another woman!"

"WHAT!?" Alice, Rose and I bellowed.

"No way." I finally spoke "No, Carlisle would never do that. He said he had to work late. Plus he's _far _too scared of your mother."

"Well if that's what a doctor's idea of 'working late' is, then I'll see you guys in med school." Emmett joked, only to receive a slap up the back of the head from Rose "What? She _was _hot."

"Emmett!" Edward exclaimed for the second time, turning in the direction where he presumed our burly friend stood "Seriously dude! Anyway, like I was saying we saw him in the arms of another woman so, automatic response was to hide or kill him. I chose hide because...well for starters it's legal and I remembered that I don't like jail. So, we hid. Emmett chose up the tree, Jasper chose behind a car and I chose the first thing I could think of...the mailbox."

"Oh good lord." I mumbled, running a hand through my hair once more "Well, did he see you?"

"Did he see Edward?" Jasper began "No. Did he see a stupid kid with his head stuck inside a mailbox? Yes. Don't worry though; he was quickly dragged away from the house by his walking talking Barbie friend."

"Well, that's a plus...I think." I replied.

"No." Edward quickly interjected "What would have been a plus is if that stupid kid that lived next door hadn't seen me! Damn brat was laughing and hitting the box with what felt like a brick! But d'ya know what, Karma's a bitch!"

I could practically hear the smile that Edward was sporting as he giddily bounced up and down.

"Oh please tell me you did _not_ threaten to hit him with the brick." I pleaded a new wave of panic washing over me.

"No!" Edward cried, all but giggling "We had a much better idea. We kicked his moon bounce out from under him. Turns out it's not the _only_ thing that can bounce off the ground."

"It was genius!" Emmett agreed with a wide grin.

"And..." I began in a warning tone, willing them to continue, although hoping they wouldn't.

"...And...Threatened to hit him with the brick." Edward finally admitted.

I knew it. I couldn't help but groan inwardly, but the minute I looked at my boyfriend my smile decided to show itself. Ugh. I hate that I can't stay mad with him long. I can just see those damn puppy dog eyes underneath that tin can on his head. I guess in a situation like this, all you can do is laugh.

"I just can't believe you picked the mailbox as a hiding place." I finally giggled, wrapping an arm round his waist as my other hand ran up his chest.

"Hey..." Edward replied, pulling me closer "It seemed like a good idea at the time."

"Wow." I smirked "I think I recall you saying that when you got the word 'Balls' tattooed onto the sole of your foot, and we all know how that turned out don't we?"

"...Yes..." He spoke in a timid voice, kicking his foot slightly "...I stood on it the wrong way when I was peeing."

"...And..." Emmett smiled, urging him to continue.

"And it hurt so bad that I jumped and...Caught Eddie Jr. in my zipper."

Ouch. You couldn't help but feel his pain there.  


* * *

_**Edward's POV**_

Ok, surprisingly explaining the whole 'mailbox' thing to Bella had been easier than anticipated. But thankfully with a little bit of patience, Emmett's strong arms...and the help from my well known friend, WD-40, my 'helmet' was safely removed...although I did have 'U.S Mail' indented into my cheeks for a while. I will admit, it was frickin' hilarious, but the minute I grabbed Emmett's ass cheek thinking it was Bella's bump, the thing had to go! I was glad when I managed to see daylight again, joining my friends as we sat and discussed the whole 'Dad's a lying cheating bastard' thing. I just couldn't believe that he would cheat on my Mom. My _pregnant _Mom! I mean, does he _want _to be in a severe amount of pain!? If her mood swings are anything like Bella's then...I'll see you guys at his funeral. Somehow I don't think the Johnsons will want their mailbox back once the find out where my Mom shoved it.

"So, where is your Mom?" Jasper asked "When are you going to tell her?"

"Tell her!?" I asked rather alarmed "And risk getting shot! No thank you! I quite like having my head attached to my neck. No, I'm going to tell her nothing, play it cool and confront my Dad like a mature adult when the time is right."

Hehe...I've been practicing that lately. Maturity. Does it suit me?

"So you're just going to sit back until then and let him cheat on her!?" Alice asked in shock "You're not going to egg his car...steal his underwear...e-mail that video of him dancing to the Cha-Cha Slide to all his colleagues? Have to say, little shocked."

"Nope..." I smiled, feeling rather proud of myself "I'm actually going to do the responsible thing. But until then he's not going to know that I know, because when he knows that I know about him not knowing that I know, he's going to worry about my Mom knowing and then he'll wish he knows nothing. Know what I'm saying?"

"...Do _you _even know what you're saying!?" Rosalie exclaimed.

"Dude..." Jasper began "That made absolute no sense."

"...I get it!" Emmett smiled, causing everyone to gape at him as he turned to look at me "Dude...You're smart."

My smile grew. You know, I could actually get used to hearing that. I had it all planned. I was going to act like I knew nothing until it came time to confront him. Like I said, be a mature adult...but maybe e-mailing that video could be a little side job. What? It's me we're talking about here.

I continued to sit there as everyone began to ramble at once, Alice, Jasper and Emmett thinking that I was doing the right thing, while Bella and Rosalie told me I was deeply nuts. And that's when I heard it. The all too familiar sound of the front door closing.

"Hey guys!" My Dad cried from the hallway "I'm home!"

"Screw being a mature adult. I'm gonna kill him!" I practically snarled, quickly pushing off the couch and marching towards the living room door.

The anger that I felt began to boil inside of me again as I kicked the mailbox out of my way, causing it to bounce off the wall by the door. And then I saw him, standing at the door soaking wet with a large smile on his face.

"Hey Edward." He smirked, dropping his briefcase outside the door "How was school?"

But I didn't answer him, instead I just glared. If he didn't want to be with us, then fine. I was going to give him a 'goodbye' that he'll _never _forget.

"Hey!" I shouted at him "So long sucker, see ya, bon voyage, arrivederci, later loser, goodbye, good riddance, peace out, let the doorknob hit ya where the good Lord split ya, don't come back around here no more, hasta la vista, kick rocks, and get the hell out!" And like that, I slammed the door in his face.

You know...if this was a sitcom, the audience would be going crazy right now. Smirking, I turned back to face my friend's, only to see Bella's eyes nearly popping out her face. Uh-oh...that can't be good.

"Edward!" She cried "So much for being mature."

"Dude!" Jasper cried "You have a hard enough time trying to speak English!"

I watched as Bella got up off the couch and waddled to the door that I had just slammed, only to open it to find my Dad still standing there looking rather confused. Oh what I'd give to shave his head right about now.

"Sorry Carlisle." She began with a nervous chuckle before turning to me "No Edward. I don't think that's how Juliet would have said goodbye to Romeo if Shakespeare had written them today."

Nice save.

"...Do I want to know what's going on?" Carlisle asked, backing up a little as I continued to glare at him "Edward...Did you eat the coffee grains again? Because you remember what happened the last time. You know, with the chainsaw."

"That was one time!" I cried "And you did not die!"

Seriously. You nearly kill the guy and he's forever afraid of you!

"Ok then..." He replied "Well...it's been a long tedious day. I'm just going to head upstairs...Edward; I think you need to...take a Valium or something."

Uh, yeah. Like I've never heard _that_ before!

* * *

_**Bella's POV**_

I couldn't help but smile as I watched Edward stomp around his room that night, glaring at everything that crossed his path. I watched as he took things out of his desk, banged them on the surface before putting them straight back in. I'm guessing he's still a _teeny __**tiny **_bit pissed at his Dad...that and the fact that Emmett ate his last pop tart. Poor guy. I haven't seen him this worked up since he accidentally sucked his hamster up with the vacuum. Poor Mr. Nibbles. But it had been one hell of a day. Carlisle was cheating. Edward was on the verge of doing something illegal, and I had popped the button off of my favourite jeans...But on the up side we got a new mailbox out of all of this!

"Honey, c'mon..." I finally said, sitting up in bed and stretching a little "Come to bed and I promise that you can go straight back to hating your Dad in the morning."

"You know I should do something!" He bellowed, pacing in front of me "Like lick the rim of his coffee cup...or get Emmett to fart in his face while he sleeps! I mean what the hell is he thinking, cheating on my Mom!? Ugh, I should _so _kill him in the Sims for this!"

"Edward..." I replied in a soft voice, gently taking hold of his hand "I know he's hurt you and no, there is no excuse for what he's done, but you have to let it go for the night. Tomorrow you'll have a clearer mind and be thinking more rationally."

He was silent for a minute, looking down at our entwined fingers before looking up at me. Maybe he was going to listen!

"Or I could just ship him to Africa!" He beamed.

Edward and listening? Should have known never to use those two words in the same sentence, but still, I couldn't help but smile.

"C'mon." I giggled, pulling him backwards onto the bed while kissing his neck "Bedtime."

"But I'm not sleepy." He whined.

"Who said anything about sleeping?" I smirked.

* * *

_**Edward's POV**_

It was around two in the morning when I glanced at the clock. Bella lay in my arms, sound asleep from our little midnight escapades, but still I couldn't find it in me to join her. All that was running through my mind was my Dad and that blonde doll that he had been hugging earlier. I didn't care what Bella said. I had to get him back...tonight.

Slowly, I sat up, careful not to wake Bella. Slipping on my boxers I quietly tiptoed across the room, stubbing my toe on the bed post as I went.

"Mother Fu..." I began, clamping my hand over my mouth as I hopped out the room.

Seriously, I can't even get out of bed without hurting myself!? What's the matter with me? But instead of answering my question, I continued on my journey downstairs to the kitchen. I couldn't help but get slightly creeped at how quiet the house was, jumping at my shadow as I entered the living room. I gotta lay off on the horror movies. Quickly, I crossed through to the kitchen, smiling when I found what I had been looking for sitting on the dining table. Oh, poor poor Dad. How many times do we have to tell him? Smiling once more, I picked up the phone and dialled Jasper's number.

"_I want the pink pony..." _He mumbled into the phone.

Ok, I swear there is no way this guy is straight.

"Dude!" I said into the phone "It's me."

"_Edward?" _Came his reply.

"No, SpongeBob." I said sarcastically "Of course it's me."

"_What's up?" _he asked, sounding a little confused _"Is everything alright?"_

"Oh, everything's great." I smirked, turning to look at the answer to my revenge that sat on the table "Name the one thing that my Dad will never let me touch."

"_The power tools." _Jasper said without missing a beat.

"Ok...true, but no. Try again." I smiled.

"_The exercise bike...The lawn mower...The coffee grains...Prune Juice..."_

"Ok, ok, stop!" I almost cried "Let me make this easier for you. What is nice, shiny, has four wheels and literately has a 'no Edward allowed' sign stuck to it."

"_I am not helping you steal your Dad's Mercedes!" _Jasper yelled, sounding a lot more awake now.

"Who said anything about stealing it?" I smiled, glancing at the keys on the table once more "Just call Emmett and meet me outside my house in ten minutes. I got a plan."

Boy did I have a plan *Insert evil grin here*. A plan that my Dad would _never _forget.

**~*My Best Friends Kid*~**

"Nope, no, nein, nyet and no way in hell!" Emmett cried with wide eyes as we shone the flashlight onto my Dad's red Mercedes "I've said it before, and I'll say it again...I will not do time for you Edward!"

"Oh Emmett, stop being a baby." I chuckled "We will not do time...well, much anyway."

"Oh..." He winced as I headed towards the car, Emmett and Jasper keeping a fair distance as if it were about to blow up at any second.

I couldn't help but smirk as I walked round it. Ha! Karma really _is _a bitch.

"What does this plan consist of?" Emmett asked as the two slowly began to approach the car "Does it involve any of us getting hurt and/or dying?"

"No!" I exclaimed "It's perfectly safe, now Jasper, get in the trunk."

"WHAT!?" He cried, his eyes practically bugging out of his head "...WHAT!? I'm not getting in there, you get in! Maybe the lack of oxygen will _improve _your mental status!"

"I can't get in!" I replied "I have more business to deal with inside."

"Then why doesn't Emmett get in?" My blonde friend asked.

"No way." Emmett replied, taking a giant step back "Nope. I've given up getting into the trunk of cars for lent."

I couldn't help but roll my eyes as my friends continued to argue it out. You know, it's a little upsetting that they have so little faith in me.

"Emmett can't go in the trunk." I answered "It has to look like my Dad has put him there. There is no way my Dad would be able to force Em in."

"And he could force me?" Jasper asked in disbelief.

"Dude..." I laughed "Alice had to open the ketchup bottle for you...A damn four year old could force you in."

I couldn't hold back my smile as Jasper finally caved, grumbling as he made his way over to the open trunk so I could tie him up.

"We are so going to hell for this." Emmett mumbled as we began to tie up our friend "How can you be so mean to your own Dad?"

"He's cheating on my Mom!" I exclaimed "And I'm never mean to him."

"You switched his haemorrhoid cream with superglue!" Jasper argued.

"That was just funny." I smirked "Now watch your face."

And with that I taped Jasper's mouth shut and closed the trunk.

"Ok...now to get Dad up and call the cops." I smiled.

"Yup..." Emmett mumbled "Totally going to hell."

**~*My Best Friends Kid*~**

I didn't bother to try and control my volume as I ran upstairs to fetch my Father, Emmett staying downstairs as he called the police. All I could say was that I was glad Charlie was off duty tonight. Don't know how I would explain this one to him. I couldn't hold back the smile when I burst into my parent's room, startling them awake as I jumped up and down on their bed.

"Dad!" I cried, feigning horror "There's someone in the garage! Come look! I think they're trying to steal the Mercedes!"

"Not my car!" My Dad bellowed.

"Carlisle, go check." My Mom said, pushing him out the bed.

"Ok, you stay here." He replied, quickly following me out.

Grabbing the baseball bat that sat in the hall closet, I handed it to my Dad, slowly following behind him as I tried to contain my laughter. Oh he's going to get it! Motioning me to keep it down, my Dad quietly approached the door that led into the garage, quickly opening it to find the room empty.

"Well, at least the car's still here." I smiled, pointing to his precious vehicle.

But just as the words left my mouth we heard a low thump. Nice one Jasper!

"Oh my gosh!" My Dad practically squealed "What was that!?"

"I think it's coming from the trunk." I replied, acting confused as we stepped closer to the car, my Dad clutching to the bad a little more tightly as the thumping continued "On the count of three, we open it..." All he did was nod, gulping in fear "1..." Any second now "...2..." I had to hold back my laughter as I heard the sirens outside getting louder "...3!"

And just as we had planned, I opened the trunk to reveal a terrified looking jasper, just as the garage door opened and a swarm of cops ran in along with Emmett.

"Put the weapon down!" Cried one of the cops as they began to wrestle my Father to the ground.

By this time both my Mom and Bella were downstairs, both looking rather alarmed while I just smiled.

"What the hell is going on here!?" My Mom yelled.

"This car has been reported stolen Ma'am." The officer announced as he stood my now cuffed father up "And when we got here there was a young man tied up and gagged in the trunk. Do you know this man?"

"Never seen him before in my life." I smiled, crossing my arms over my chest.

"EDWARD!" My father and Mother cried.

"Must you be so puerile!?" My Dad continued.

"I refuse to answer that without a lawyer or a dictionary present!" I cried, pointing at him "Call this payback!"

"Payback?" My Dad asked, looking even more confused "Payback for what!?"

"For cheating on Mom!" I yelled.

At this everyone gasped, and by everyone, I'm including the cops.

"You're cheating on your pregnant wife!?" One of the cops yelled "What's the matter with you man!?"

"Carlisle?" My Mom questioned

"I'm not cheating on your mother Edward!" My Dad cried "Why would you assume such a thing!?"

"Because _I _saw _you _with another woman outside a house, when _you_ said you had to work late!" I cried, leaving everyone silent.

There, finally out in the open. I just stood there, staring at my Dad in anger, but just as I was waiting for him to fall to his knees and grovel for forgiveness, I was surprised to hear my Mom and Dad laugh! Yeah, that's right! Laugh. Confused, my arms that were once crossed over my chest fell to my sides. Why are they laughing at me!?

"Oh my gosh..." My Dad chuckled, tears in his eyes "Esme...I think it's time we told them."

"Told us what?" I asked in panic "Who's us?"

"Edward...Bella..." My Mom began, Bella coming over to stand with me "Carlisle is not cheating on me. Honey what you saw today was nothing more than your father doing a good deed."

"What good deed?" I asked.

"Edward, I wasn't with another woman." My father smirked "I was purchasing the house. Stephanie is the real estate agent. I was giving her a hug of thanks."

"Why?" Bella asked "Are you guys moving?"

"No." Esme smiled "It was supposed to be a surprise for your graduation and for the baby being born but... We bought you the house."

They...they bought us the house!

"Officers..." My Mom began with a smile "I'm sorry, this whole thing has been one huge misunderstanding. If you release my husband I promise we will sort this whole mess out first thing in the morning."

"Alright Ma'am." The cop replied, releasing my Dad before saying goodnight and leaving.

"You...you bought us...the house?" I asked in shock, turning to look at Bella who looked just as amazed.

"Yes." My Dad smiled "Can't have you start a family in your parents house."

We were silent, trying to absorb the information that had just been given to us. My Dad, the one who I had just framed for kidnap and grand theft auto because he was 'cheating' on my Mom, bought me and my girlfriend a house! Oh good lord I _am_ going to hell.

"I'm grounded, aren't I?" I said with a nervous smile.

"Well, see this bat..." My Dad replied, holding up his 'weapon' "Unless you start running in the next two seconds, guess where it's going to end up?"

"Oh shit!" I cried, running round the car, my Dad following as everyone around began to laugh "Would it help if I said 'Oops'?"

"Not by a long shot!" He cried as I shot out the garage "Get back here Edward!"

Ok...so maybe sometimes I'm wrong...But c'mon, where would the fun be if I was always right.

"You're my father!" I cried.

"I don't care! You nearly got me arrested!"

"Do the Christian thing!"

"Edward!"

But then again, maybe being right has its benefits.  


* * *

**A/N: Ok guys, I am officially giving all you lovely people the permission to point and laugh at me. The reason you ask, well the reason is because when I went to post this chapter, I realised that it was missing. Yes, that's right. I deleted it by accident. Over 6000 words! Seriously, all I could do was laugh. If I didn't I would cry. lol. So on you go. Laugh. lol**

**Anyway, I hope you all liked this chapter. Sorry it wasn't too funny. I was struggling a little, but hopefully everyone found something that gave them a little chuckle. That's better than nothing. lol. Please review and tell me what you think. Thanks :o)**

**Also, thanks to all of you guys who voted in the last chapter. 'My Best Friends Kid' has been nominated in 5 categories in the Best Stories of 2009. All I can say is thank you so much, especially for the 'Best Author' one. I don't care if I win anything or not. I love writing this fic and making all you lovely's laugh. lol. But if you want, please vote for the following. The link can be found bellow. You can vote as many times as you want (I think), and I think voting closes in a few months. So again, thank you and take care :o)**

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